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thats fine...I wasnt debating that point..in my situation I have NEVER had the urge to look them up and I know a lot of people that have only done it because they thought they would get money out of it...every situation is different that is why I stated my opinon on it...everyone had a different situation that is why it is a personal issue...
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06-14-2003 05:06 PM
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I think that I am looking for some kind of heritage connection as well as medical info....people who were not adopted know that they get their green eyes from mom, or their blonde hair from Dad. I know that my Mom is ALWAYS my mom....she CHOSE me....she is my real mom....that isn't it. It would just be nice to look into a familiar face....you can see me in my children, I just wonder if I could see me in them. I also have had some medical problems, and it is always frustrating to not have medical history to give to a doctor. If it is all I could get, it would be enough.
"If sometimes you feel yourself little, useless, offended and depressed, always remember that you were once the fastest and most victorious sperm out of hundreds of millions."
If Barbie is so popular, how come you have to buy all her friends????
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Banned
Originally posted by teenap
I know its a personal issue, but other than medical reasons why would you want to? I know many people that ask me about my "real" parents and I tell them that those are my real parents...I just wouldnt want to hurt them like that...why bother when the people that you have as parents have raised you even though they technically didnt give birth to you...that is just my opinion...not trying to start anything..just irks me when people ask about my "real" parents....
I know in my situation I just wanted questions answered. I wanted to know why my Bio father didn't want me. I was 16 at the time and at a very hard time in my life. I think I was even more curious than some people because my mom kept everything about him such a secret.
When my bio father died I contacted an attorney to see if I could get medical records ( my children were born with a hereditary kidney disease and we don't know where it came from). I was told I could sue for money, but not for medical records. WTH is that about. I didn't want his money I just wanted information.
Raven-- I hope someday your grandson comes to you or your son to get all of his questions asked. I think a lot of us adopted kids have a lot of questions about where we are from and why things happened the way they did. I think he will be happy to find that he has a Grandma, a dad, and an aunt that love him very much, in fact loved him enough to let him go even when they didn't want to. ((((Raven)))
Widget-- I hope you find your birth mother and that you get the answers you are looking for.
((((((HUGS)))))) to all of us!
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Originally posted by teenap
I know its a personal issue, but other than medical reasons why would you want to? I know many people that ask me about my "real" parents and I tell them that those are my real parents...I just wouldnt want to hurt them like that...why bother when the people that you have as parents have raised you even though they technically didnt give birth to you...that is just my opinion...not trying to start anything..just irks me when people ask about my "real" parents....
Well, medical reasons is a large part of it, but like Widgetsx3 said, there a heritage connection that's missing. I look at my brothers and see mom and dad in them, I look in a mirror and don't know who I see. My kids get these expressions that I just wonder, where do they come from? I don't want money, have never even considered something like that, I don't want to disrupt anyone's life, I just want to know who I am and where I come from. It's not that I don't love my parents, I do, it's just that every now and again, I just want to know these people, I wonder if they ever think about me, who I am, what I've done with my life, etc etc. I know I can't count on my mom for support in this, sad to say, but this is something I would be doing for me and my children, I don't think my dad would like it too much, but would understand, at least my dh supports me in this whole-heartedly.
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