Thread: Helping your child cope with disturbing headlines

We received the following at work. I thought there were some helpful hints for those of you with children:



Helping Your Child Cope with Disturbing Headlines

Open the newspaper on any given day, and you will find stories in abundance on terrorist acts, school shootings or the specter of war. Television newscasts carry wrenching footage of suicide bombings, child abductions and grieving family members. How can you help your child cope with disturbing news and word events, and ensure that these do not have a detrimental effect over the long haul?
Children’s reactions to negative events in the news will vary, depending on their age. Children five years of age and younger have a limited ability to discern fact from fantasy or images they may see on a TV show. Car crashes or shootings seem equally as real – and terrifying – on prime time entertainment as they do on the evening news. Children this young may not know how to talk about their fears or concerns. Experts caution that pre-schoolers should have limited exposure to those media usually aimed at adults.
Children between six and eleven years of age are especially vulnerable to being affected by what they see on the news. They are able to separate fact from fantasy, but lack perspective. What they see on TV becomes too real. Children in this age range tend to internalize negative events and project them as probabilities that could easily occur to them. They do not understand the frequency or likelihood with which traumatic situations occur, and media coverage tends to overplay the incidence of sensational events. Some children may verbalize their fears, while others may be reluctant to bring them up. It is important to watch the news with your child at this age, to ask questions about what they think they know, and to help provide perspective and context for what they see.
By adolescence, usually 12 years and older, children know the difference between fact and fantasy and they are much more media savvy. Their curiosity about the world around them expands their interest in popular media and thus, their exposure to it. Children in this age bracket are more susceptible to what their peers are saying about world events, which could lead to confusion. They also may be less willing to articulate fears than younger children, and are more skeptical about the explanations provided by parents.

So how do you help your children understand and deal with disturbing world or local events? Here are some tips for helping your kids cope:
1. Monitor their news consumption. Experts agree that the best way for parents to help their children understand the news and events around them is to watch the news together, or at least be aware of what their children are viewing. If children are very young, limit their viewing to kid-friendly news programs and web sites.
2. Watch for signs of anxiety or fear. If your child seems upset or alarmed by what he or she has heard or read, explore what your child knows and why he or she is upset. A great way to alleviate your child’s anxiety is to discuss his or her fears openly, so you can help your child know the difference between news and reality. If his or her fears relate to safety issues following coverage on child abductions, for instance, let your child know he or she is safe and the measures you take to keep your home secure.
3. Create an open dialogue. Kids will not always tell you when they are scared or worried about current events. When high profile or sensational news stories run, parents should look for clues as to how their child is reacting. Keeping their trepidation to themselves is more damaging to kids than open discussion. If you suspect your child has been affected by media reports, ask him or her what he or she knows about the situation. Explore what is most important, confusing or troublesome to your child. Depending on your child’s age, you can allay his or her fears outright, explain the difference between news and reality or, with older children, explore the facts and provide a context on media events.
4. Share your views. With older children, discussions about news reports provide an excellent opportunity for parents to share their values. For instance, news reports on children bringing guns to school could lead to a discussion on gun safety or violence. Children may dread being lectured by parents, but seeing the rationale behind parental views being played out in the media can be effective in conveying your values.
5. Acknowledge the complexities of world events. Some media coverage, such as terrorist acts or school shootings, defy simple explanation. Sometimes we don’t understand them ourselves. Parents should be willing to let kids know that they may not always have just the right answers – few parents do. But examining the facts together and stressing the low likelihood of similar events impacting your family can help allay your child’s fears and open a discussion.