Need Advice Here Please! Calling All Moms!

[Angelmom]

Ok since my 5 year old is my only child I need to know how to deal with this. He has been telling me that a kid on the bus is telling him he's fat and calling him other names as well. What kind of advice do you moms have for this kind of stuff. What could I tell him?

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[denisemm]

Aw, hon, I wish I had some help for you! I went through the same thing, always, I always thought i was fat because of it, too. ANd now when I look at pictures of myself I wonder why, because I was NOT a fat, or even chubby, kid. I hope yo ufind a way to put an end to it! I don't think I ever even told my mom. I wonder why I didn't. Good luck! and give your son a big hug from me!

[julie_angel]

I will have to agree with chelle on this one, I have been going through something very similar with my 11 year old. IF it is going on on the bus, call the super-intendant, and get the # for whoever is in charge of transportation. I have fought with the principal, vice-principal, super-intendant, and the transportation. I have even fought with other parents. This year they moved the 6th grade over to the middle school which used to be only 7th and 8th grade. The older kids won't let the 6th graders sit on the bus, so they were sitting in the middle aisle with everyone's backpacks and dirty feet! I called the school, they told me it wasn't thier problem. I called the super-intendant, she said it wasn't her problem. I called transportation and got nowhere until I finally threatened to call all the news channels in the state and the mayor. I am finally getting somewhere.
Please give your child reassurance every day. Thier little egos are so fragile. Remind the child that he/she is not the one with the problem, it is the one's who poke fun because they themselves are so insecure. If there is a counselor at the school, speak to them. Good luck and please let me know how it goes. If I can be of any further help, please feel free to e-mail me. [email protected].

[Quaker_Parrots]

What do you do when a 6 year old African American boy tells your 5 year old son, he doesn't like him because he is white?

[Angelseyes28]

Originally posted by taybai
What do you do when a 6 year old African American boy tells your 5 year old son, he doesn't like him because he is white?

How sad that a child is learning racism, and especially at such a young age I would use this situation to teach your child about racism and how wrong it is. And explain to him that he doesn't have to like everyone just as not everyone has to like him, but it should be based on something that person has done and not the color of their skin. I personally would take this issue to the teacher and explain to her what is going on, it would be a perfect time for the teacher to discuss racism with the class as a whole. I wouldn't blame that 6 yr old for his behavior tho, b/c behavior like that at such a young age was more than likely learned at home

[blondeairhead]

These situations make me so angry! The children that pick on other children are just bullies and most schools now (because of the violence in schools) have a no bully policy. I know here in Ohio they do. Anyway, all you parents that children are having this type of trouble whether the bully be verbal or physical NEED to contact the school with a complaint. If the school treats you like you are an overprotective mother, then go to the school board meetings and complain. If that doesn't work then threaten to take it to your local newspaper with an editoral about what kids are getting taught in school. I know this sounds severe but the bullies need to be taught no one should be treated that way. Kids also need to know that the parents are there to take up for them! I'm talking from experience on this...trust me. You all take care of them precious little angels!

[van1]

Amazing how many memories are triggered by those events...

A long time ago, when Kermit sang "it ain't easy being green", it was so meaningful to me! And then, when Frank Sinatra sang it...even more value was given to it.

I told my kids...If others says you are -- --- --- -- (whatever, fill in the blanks) look at yourself ...it's like they are saying you are green...Are You? No...so just because THEY say it, is it true??? Nope!

Throughout the years, a signal in our house was always the word "green"....Are Ya???? Nope! okay...then it's their observation, and NOT the truth.

Kermit seemed to get a point across a long time ago.

It ain't easy being green, red, orange, tall, skinny, fat, short, quick, slow, ...'cause that's the way it is!

Maybe get him into a sports porgram or swimming, or Judo, just for the inner confidence building, regardless of his size.

Just a grannie in Michigan

[lisarae]

I like that one van, I will remember that one.

[shelhop]

It used to be that you could tell your kids to turn the other cheek. That if you'll ignore them, don't give them a reaction, and they'll get bored with it and go away. However, life isn't so simple anymore. One person teasing your child quickly turns into a whole group of kids teasing your child. They are mean and hurtful, and ignoring them often just makes it worse.
First of all, all five of my kids believe and fully understand that a child that picks on them isn't happy. That bully feels inferior, and bringing someone else down makes him(or her) feel more important.
So in our house, we first endure it for a short period of time, in hopes that the kid will get bored. If it still continues, my child will simply ask the other child (without anger or emotion) to please stop harassing him/her. If even after that the bully keeps the taunting going, then it's time to report it to the teacher or principal, and don't ever let them tell you "kids will be kids". Tell them you want it stopped. And if it doesn't, persist. IMO, schools will sweep a lot under the rugs if you allow them to.
My oldest daughter, actually quite popular in her school, was being picked on at the bus stop and on the bus. She went through all the stops and the other girl, 2 years older and much bigger, kept it up. I reported it, the school did nothing. I reported it again, still nothing. 2 days later I get a phone call from the deputy at the school notifying me that my daughter was attacked in the hallway, and would I give permission for her to be transported by ambulance to the hospital?
This bully attacked my kid because she was a "stupid cheerleader" and she wanted to "f*** up her pretty little face." (by the way, she is now spending 6 months in Juvenile Hall for the incident. Because we pressed charges.)
My point is, know when it's just kid stuff and when it turns viscious. Teach your child to be assertive without being aggressive. Obviously, a five year old is basically saying something he's heard. Maybe he's even been called fat himself by his parents, siblings, or another child. I would think a trip to the school to talk to the teacher or pricipal, where they can bring both kids together and talk about it. Kids that age sometimes don't realize how hurtful they're being. that may end it without causing a major scene.
Sorry I'm so long winded. Good luck!

[wackydackydoo]

I know schools don't want to do anything about these situations, but the problem stems from these kids' parents.

Way back when, when my mother was called into the school for something my brother did, she would say something like "if he talks back again, smack him". Of course, they would never have done that; but nowadays, in that same situation, the parents are telling everyone "to leave my kid alone". They stick up for their kids even when they do wrong; and, of course, the kids pick up on this and act out on it. Thus, we now have a generation of children who do everything and anything no matter how bad it is, but think "they can do no wrong" at the same time. It's very messed up. The rest of us can only hope to raise our children to be better than and above this type of behavior.

[miccit]

I would call the transportation department and the school. That way all your bases are covered.

My son who is big for his age (he is 10 and is 5 feet 1 inch and weighs 121 pounds) used to get teased in kindergarten. He never told us that anyone was teasing him. We moved to another state after kindergarten. In the first grade I noticed he wasn't wanting to snack as much. I thought maybe he was just slowing down on his growing. He was eating dinner fine (he ate lunch and breakfast at school). I then noticed he had lost some weight. Not a lot, but some. A month or so later I got a phone call from the school from his teacher telling me that he wasn't eating at school. I sat him down and talked to him and he said he just wasn't really hungry. I called the doctor and they said not to worry about it, he would eat when he got hungry. Another month passed and I noticed he looked a lot thinnner. I took him to a different doctor and she weighed him. He weighed exactly what he did at the beginning of school. But you could look at him and tell he had lost a lot of weight. He looked like a scarecrow. She had him take off his shoes so she could see his feet (I am not sure why). We found he had put leg weights on and had hid them under his pants and socks. They were 25 pound weights. We took them off of him and found he had lost 25 pounds in about 2 months! I was so shocked.

To make a long story short-- from being teased in kindergarten about his size he had gotten really self conscious. So, he decided he was going to do something about it. He started starving himself. He was diagnosed with anoxeria and was treated. He is now 10 and is fine. He is still bigger than the other kids, but understands that is ok. He is going to be a big guy. His grandfather was 6 feet 9 inches and weighed about 350!

I hope the school helps you out. No one should be teased for any reason.