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  1. #45
    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    You know you're from Pennsylvania if...

    You own only three spices: salt, pepper, ketchup.

    You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

    You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.

    You have 10 favorite recipes for venison.

    Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

    You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.

    You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.

    Your snowblower gets stuck on your roof.

    The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page but requires 6 pages for sports.

    You think the start of deer hunting is a national holiday.

    You head south to go to your cottage.

    You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

    You find -20 F "a little chilly."

    The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.

    You know the four seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.

    The municipality buys a Zamboni before a school bus.

    You don't understand how anyone could watch a football game without halupki, halushki, or kielbasa.

    You fondly remember days from your youth known as "Snow Days."

    You don't understand why all sports commentators don't sound more like Cope.

    Words like gumband, buggy, hoagie, chipped ham, and pop actually mean something to you.

    You can use the phrase "Firehall Wedding," and not even bat an eye.
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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  3. #46
    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    22 Signs That Show You Are from Philadelphia:

    You Hate Dallas

    You realize that your favorite dessert is "wooder ice" (it comes in churry, strawburry, and other assawrded flaverz).

    You find yourself using "Yo" and "youse guys" when talking long distance to your family members.

    You know how to spell Schuylkill.

    You pronounce ACME as "ACK - A - ME."

    You think $2,500 a year for insurance on a 1977 Toyota Corolla is a bargain.

    You find yourself at a nice restaurant thinking, "I wonder if they have cheese steaks?"

    You can sleep soundly through gunfire and ambulance sirens.

    You visit New York City and are impressed by how clean it is.

    You believe the car on your left, with turn signal flashing and the driver is pointing at your lane, wants you to close the gap with the car in front of you.

    You can't eat french fries without Cheez Whiz.

    Street people greet you by your first name.

    You don't think Wawa sounds funny.

    You snub a cheese steak that isn't on an Amoroso roll.

    Your parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, and uncles all live on the same block.

    You know who Jim O'Brien is and how he died.

    You can't imagine breakfast without scrapple.

    You're still not sure about Jerry Penacolli.

    A vacation down the Jersey shore (pronounced "shoore") is better than going to an island (there's more stuff to do, plus you know everybody).

    You know where to find the Rocky statue.

    You know only tourists go to Geno's, Pat's, and Jim's for authentic cheese steaks. You go only if you're drunk and it's 3:00 a.m.

    You buy a soft pretzel at a traffic light without wondering where the guy goes to wash his hands and you don't even care.




    (( okay - a quiz : Who *is* Jim O'Brien and how *did* he die ?? ))
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  4. #47

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    Thumbs up

    Thank you SO MUCH for posting those! I laughed and laughed...can't say as I identified with all of them, but several of them were oh so very true, LOL!

    Jim O'Brien (1940-1983) was a disc jockey, sportscaster, weatherman, etc. He died while skydiving. Another diver was tangled and Jim helped to untangle him. He didn't have the time to open his own chute and fell to his death. His daughter Peri Gilpin plays Roz on Fraiser - ya learn something new every day, I love that show and her character. Isn't the internet a wonderful thing? I hope that was the Jim O'Brien you meant.

    Thanks again, your posts really brightened an otherwise dismal & cloudy day here in PA.

  5. #48
    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    we aim to please .....
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  6. #49
    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    Okay Ahippiechic - this one is for you !




    MOVING TO ARIZONA:

    May 30: Now this is a state that knows how to live! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts blended together. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

    June 14: Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshipper.

    June 30: Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

    July 10: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people take this kind of heat? At least it's a dry heat. Getting used to it is taking longer than I expected.

    July 15: Fell asleep by the pool. (Got third-degree burns over 60 percent of my body.) Missed two days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson, though: Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

    July 20: I missed Tabby (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, Tabby had swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and exploded all over $2,000 worth of leather upholstery. I told the kids she ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles and [expletive]. No more pets in this heat!

    July 25: Dry [expletive] heat, my #ss. Hot is hot! The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the A/C repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

    July 30: Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1,100 in damn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?

    Aug 4: 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to about 90. Stupid repairman went in my pool. I hate this [expletive] state.

    Aug 8: If another wise ass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to tear his [expletive] throat out. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like roasted [expletive] Garfield!

    Aug 10: The weather report might as well be a damn recording: hot and sunny. It's been too hot for two damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn barren desert? Water rationing has been in effect all summer, so $1,700 worth of cactus just dried up and blew into the [expletive] pool. Even a cactus can't live in this heat.

    Aug 14: Welcome to Hell! Temperature got to 123 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the [expletive] windshield out of the Lincoln. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $1,100 house payment to bail me out of jail.

    Aug 30: Worst day of the d@mn summer. I'm not leaving the house. The [expletive] monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier than hell. The Lincoln is now floating somewhere in Mexico with its new $500 windshield. That does it. We're moving back to New York for some peace and quiet.

    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  7. #50

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    Your Know You're From Minnesota If...
    You've never met any celebrities.
    "Vacation" means going to Valleyfair.
    You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
    You measure distance in minutes.
    You know several people who have hit a deer.
    Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
    Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
    You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
    You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
    You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
    Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
    You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
    You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to town I wanna go with."
    You carry jumper cables in your car.
    You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is.
    You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
    The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
    You think that deer season is a national holiday.
    You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
    You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly".
    You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.
    You know if another Minnesotan is from southern, middle or northern Minnesota as soon as they open their mouth.

    {{{secret Pal}}
    Hold out bait to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him.

    The early bird might get the worm, but it's the second mouse who gets the cheese

    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
    - Albert Einstein

  8. #51

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    could you please post massachusetts and new hampshire. thanks!

  9. #52
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    You know you're from Massachusetts when...

    The person driving in front of you is going 70 m.p.h. and you're cursing him for going too slow.

    The fact that Routes 128 and 95 are pretty much the same thing doesn't confuse you.

    When ordering a tonic, you mean a Coke ... not water with bubbles.

    You can navigate a rotary without a problem.

    You almost feel insulted when someone doesn't flip you off when you cut them off.

    You know how to pronounce Worcester, Haverhill and Cotuit.

    You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday in order to get beer.

    You know that there are two Bulger brothers.

    You have been to Fenway Park

    You knew that there was no chance in hell that the Patriots would move to Hartford.

    You laugh at all of the other states in New England.

    You know of at least one place to get something to eat after last call.

    You can actually find your way around Boston.

    You have spent at least one weekend at UMass.

    The curse of the Bambino is taught in public schools.

    You refer to the New York Yankees as the Devil's *****es.

    Colleges are used as landmarks for directions (i.e., "go past MIT until you hit Harvard. Take a right and go past Lesley. Keep going until you get to Tufts").

    Doug Flutie is the greatest athlete ever.

    Evacuation Day is a recognized holiday.

    You know at least one guy named Sean, Pat, White, Red, O.B. or Seamus.

    You think the rest of the country owes you for having Thanksgiving and Independence Day.

    You once laughed at the kids down south who never got to have snow days.

    You feel the rest of the world needs to drive more like you.

    The Beanpot is a hockey tournament, not a serving container.

    You take great pride in Cheers.

    You can recognize a Revere girl simply by looking at her hair.

    You know exactly where you were when Buckner missed the ball.

    You know that there is a bigger difference between Roxbury and West Roxbury than just a direction.

    Somebody calls you a M******* and you take it as a compliment.

    You do not recognize the letter "R" as a part of speech.
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  10. #53
    ahippiechic's Avatar
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    Thanx for the new Arizona one, it's tru, too!
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  11. #54
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    You know you're from Boston if:

    You think of Philadelphia as the Midwest.

    You think that it's your God-given right to cut someone off in traffic.

    You think that there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (no R's).

    You think that three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a heat wave.

    All of your pets are named after Celtics or Bruins.

    You refer to six inches of snow as a "dusting."

    Just hearing the words "New York" puts you in an angry mood.

    You don't think you have an attitude.

    You always "bang a left" as soon as the light turns green, and oncoming traffic always expects it.

    Everything in town is "a five-minute walk."

    When out of town, you think the natives of the area are all whacked.

    You still can't bear to watch highlights from Game 6 of the 1986 World Series.

    You have no idea what the word "compromise" means.

    You believe that using your turn signal is a sign of weakness.

    You don't realize that you walk and talk twice as fast as everyone else.

    You're anal, neurotic, pessimistic, and stubborn.

    You think that if someone is nice to you, that they either want something from you or are from out-of-town.

    Your favorite adjective is "wicked."

    You think that 63-degree ocean water is warm.

    You think that the Kennedys are misunderstood.



    How Bostonians know you weren't born heah:

    You wear a Harvard sweatshirt.

    You cross at a crosswalk.

    You ask directions to "Cheers."

    You order a grinder and a soda.

    You follow soccer.

    You eat at Durgin Park.

    You pronounce it "Worchester" or "Glouchester."

    You call it "COPEley" Square.
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  12. #55
    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    MORE ON "BOSTON" ...

    What Bostonians say vs. what Bostonians mean:

    bizah = odd

    flawhwiz = roses, etc.

    hahpahst = 30 minutes after the hour

    Hahwahya? = How are you?

    khakis = what we staht the cah with

    pissah = superb

    retahded = silly

    shewah = of course

    wikkid = extremely

    yiz = you, plural

    popcahn = popular snack



    The North-East-West-South thing:

    Southie is South Boston.
    The South End is the South End.
    Eastie is East Boston.
    The North End is east of the West End.
    The West End and Scollay Square are no more
    -- a guy named Rappaport got rid of them one night.



    Definitions:

    Frappes have ice cream, milkshakes don't.
    If it is fizzy and flavored, it's tonic.
    Soda is CLUB SODA.
    Pop is Dad.

    When we mean Tonic WATER, we will ask for Tonic WATER.

    The smallest beer is a pint.

    Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually fish.
    If you paid more than $6/pound, you got scrod.

    It's not a water fountain; it's a bubblah.

    It's not a trashcan; it's a barrel.

    It's not a shopping cart; it's a carriage.

    It's not a purse; it's a pockabook.

    Brown bread comes in a can.
    You open both ends, push it out, heat it, and eat it with baked beans.

    They're not franks; they're haht dahgs.
    Franks are money in France.




    Things not to do:

    Don't call it "Beantown."

    Don't pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd
    ... they'll tow it to Meffa (Medford) or Slumaville (Somerville).

    Don't swim in the Charles, no matter what Bill Weld tells you.

    Don't sleep in the Common.

    Don't wear Orange in Southie on St. Patrick's Day.



    Things you should know:

    There are two State Houses, two City Halls, two courthouses, two Hancock buildings (one old, one new).

    Route 128 is also I-95. It's also I-93.

    It's the Sox, the Pats (or Patsies, if they're losing), the Seltz, or the Broons.

    The underground train is not a subway. It's the "T" and it doesn't run all night (fah chrysakes, this ain't Noo Yawk!)



    Getting around:

    Pay no attention to the street names.
    There's no school on School Street, no court on Court Street, no dock on Dock Square, no water on Water Street.

    Back Bay streets are in alphabetical odda: Arlington, Berkeley, Clarendon, Dartmouth. So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D.

    If the streets are named after trees (e.g. Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar), you're on Beacon Hill. If they're named after poets, you're in Wellesley. All avenues are properly referenced by their nicknames: Comm Ave., Mass Ave., Dot Ave. Dot is Dorchester, Rozzie is Roslindale, JP is Jamaica Plain. Readville doesn't exist.
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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