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  1. #34
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    MORE New State Mottoes

    Arkansas: It's Trailer-rific!

    South Carolina: Oh, yeah -- like "we're" going to be concerned about an NAACP tourism boycott.

    Florida: Half a million Cubans can't all be wrong.

    Illinois: Stop pronouncing the "S" or we're gonna kick *your* @ss!

    Wisconsin: Badgers? We don't need no stinkin' badgers.

    Kentucky: Come for the Bluegrass -- Stay for the Incest!

    Rhode Island: Small? Yes, but we know what to do with it.

    Iowa: Future birthplace of Captain James T. Kirk.

    South Dakota: Hello? Can anyone hear me? Hey! Over here!

    Alabama: Like the Third World, but closer.

    Michigan: It's not just cold. It's @ss-biting cold.

    Florida: Hey, you kids, get off of my state!

    Virginia: Contrary to our name, some of our women are actually pretty slutty.

    Massachusetts: Now with 30 percent fewer Kennedys!

    Indiana: Dan Quayle's favorite country.

    Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing

    California: As Seen On TV

    Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character

    Hawaii : Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
    (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

    Idaho: Potatoes and Neo-Nazis: What More Could You Ask For?

    Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

    Kansas: Where Science Don't Mean [Expletive]

    Kentucky: 5 Million People; 15 Last Names

    Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

    Maryland: A Thinking Man's Delaware

    Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)

    Michigan: First Line of Defense From the Canadians

    Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

    New Hampshire: Go Away and Leave Us Alone

    New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets

    Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan

    Oklahoma: Like the Play, Only No Singing

    South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota

    Tennessee: The Educashun State

    Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

    Vermont: Yep

    Wyoming: Where Men Are Men and Sheep Are Scared
    Last edited by Jolie Rouge; 08-27-2002 at 09:26 PM.
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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  3. #35

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    YOU MIGHT BE A MINNESOTAN IF. . .


    -you live in Texas but vacation in Minnesota in January.

    -you have friends who schedule their wedding in the middle of January without a thought about weather conditions.

    -you are always interested in how the gooofers football team is doing.

    -your state pays a bounty for killing the state mascot.

    -you consider a six inch snowfall a blessing for "the cities" because it provides instant urban renewal.

    -you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping the food will swim by.

    -you keep the snow tires on your truck all year because it ain't worth taking them off for only two months.

    -you are proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because International Falls is the coldest spot in the nation.

    -you have ever refused to buy something because it's too "spendy."

    -you believe that the Vikings would have won four super bowls by now if they were still playing in Metropolitan Stadium.

    -you have a town with men foolish enough to play a tackle football snow bowl on the Sunday after Christmas for 37 years in a row.

    -you believe that rushing out on the lakes with your pick-up in November is nature's way of upgrading the state's gene pool.

    -you think a basketball team consists of twelve white boys.

    -all your kids at school are above average.

    -all your women are strong.

    -you like to come in out of the sun when the temperature gets above 72.

    -you're a card-carrying member of both the NRA and the ACLU.

    -your local Dairy Queen is closed from December through February.

    -you instinctively walk like a penguin for three months out of the year.

    -someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there.

    -your Dad's sun tan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead.

    -you have ever apologized to a telemarketer.

    -you believe the only REAL vehicles have skis in front and a loud motor under your seat.

    -you have a nickname for your chain saw and you pat it on the fuel tank at the end of a hard day's sawing.

    -you are STILL convinced the Twins will never win the pennant because the owners are too cheap to pay the good players, so they all leave.

    -you may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of Lutefisk.

    -someone mentions Old Hubie or the Humph, and you know exactly who they mean.

    -you like the Winter Olympics better than the Summer Olympics.

    -you beam with pride when some King or Hollywood super star comes to the Mayo Clinic to save their lives.

    -you consider snow banks to be "just another rough" on the golf course.

    -you have no "spring" sports season.

    -you have ever worn shorts and a parka at the same time.

    -you were proud when you turned 12 and got a pair of "5 bucklers" for your birthday.

    -you have ever thought Michelangelo's statue of David was "indecent."

    -you have either a pet or a child named "Kirby."

    -you were delighted to get a miniature snow shovel for your 3rd birthday.

    -your birthday was in April, and you still got to use the shovel right away.

    -your town has an equal number of bars and churches.

    -you go to a high school basketball game, the score is 12-8 at halftime, and you don't think there's anything strange about that.

    -you have ever had an entire telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number.

    -you know how to say Wayzata, Mahtomedi, and Shakopee.

    -you grew up thinking rice was only for dessert.

    -there are four superstar college basketball players turning pro, and your state's team draws the fifth pick.

    -you think that ketchup is a little too spicy.

    -you support the preservation of forests, farmland and wetlands because that's where you hunt deer, pheasants and geese.

    -your daily meals are breakfast, dinner, and supper.

    -every January, from age 2 to 13, you let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post.

    -you believe human beings must all go through a frozen dormant period for four months every year.

    -you consider Lime Jell-O a highly versatile food: a breakfast dish when it is filled with fruit, a salad when it has shredded carrots and a dab of mayonnaise, and a dessert when topped with dreamwhip.

    -you never heard the word mayonnaise until you went to college.

    -your local bars still have "The Friday Night Fights" even though boxing is no longer on television.

    -it makes perfect sense for you to be in-state AND out-state at the same time.

    -the physician giving a lecture on gastro-intestinal disorders talks about your "tummy."

    -you firmly believe Bronko Nagurski was the greatest football player that ever lived.

    -you voted for Mondale.

    -you know that Kareem, Wilt, Shaq and Alonzo could never have stood up to George Mikan in the paint.

    -you never had to rewind any part of "Fargo" because you missed some of the dialogue.

    -your town isn't trying to be ironic when it plans a "winter carnival."

    -you always believed that vacation meant "going up north."

    -the first time you entered the Metrodome you looked up and said, "sure could stack a lot of hay bales in here!"

    -you KNOW there is no such place as Lake Wobegone, but you have drunk St. Wendell's beer.

    -your gas station thinks FULL SERVICE means filling your gas tank, washing the windshield, checking the oil and being friendly to the customers.

    -your bank has the name of your town included in its name.

    -your town has an annual festival honoring a fruit, vegetable or ethnic food.

    -you know where the "iron range" is.

    -you praise the parents of the state's top basketball player for pulling him off of the team until his grades improve.

    -an old lady has ever helped you cross the street.

    -the temperature in March is above freezing for three days in a row, and you think it's summer.

    -you think it's best to eat Jell-O after it's molded.

    -your state's most successful college football coach never cuts anyone, lets his quarterback call all the plays, and has no-contact practices.

    -you laugh out loud every time you see a news report about a blizzard shutting down the entire east coast.

    -you understand, and can explain, illegal defense, the infield fly rule, and icing.

    -the first time you saw "Grumpy Old Men" you thought it was a documentary.

    -you think that "UFF DA" is a standard English phrase.

    -your favorite sport when it's cold outside is played where it's cold inside.

    -your neighborhood has a 20-hour parking zone.

    -you can recite, from memory, more than a half-dozen "Ole and Lena" jokes.

    -you know people named Ole and Lena.

    -your state's pro football team beats San Francisco, but loses to Tampa Bay.

    -you thank God every morning for not making you an Iowan.

    -you believe that bitter cold, a slippery surface and speed go together in a sport and on the Interstate.

    -you hear that the stock market is up and you think the price of hogs has gained 50 cents per hundred weight.

    -you think of SPAM as a quality, all-purpose meat product whether served with eggs for breakfast, in a sandwich at noontime, or in a hot-dish for supper.

    -everytime you see moonlight on a lake you think of a dancing bear, and sing, gently, "From the land of sky-blue waters . . . Hamm's, the beer refreshing. Hamm's, the beer refreshing."

    -you remember the thrill of going to the top of the Foshay Tower.

    -you don't understand why everyone thinks Garrison Keillor is so funny.

    -your dog dies, your spouse leaves you, you lose your job, and your car breaks down, all on the same day, and the first thought that comes to your mind is, "It could be worse".

    -it gets worse.



    {{{secret Pal}}
    Hold out bait to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him.

    The early bird might get the worm, but it's the second mouse who gets the cheese

    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
    - Albert Einstein

  4. #36
    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    you grew up thinking rice was only for dessert.
    EEEKKKKKK !!!
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  5. #37

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    Originally posted by Jolie Rouge


    EEEKKKKKK !!!

    Bwahahahahahaha Pretty much so that and stuffed peppers were the only time we had rice at home Taters or Dumplings (read fried dough) were cheaper than rice

    that doesn't include wild rice which we considered something for the holidays or winter
    Last edited by the fugative; 08-27-2002 at 09:49 PM.
    {{{secret Pal}}
    Hold out bait to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him.

    The early bird might get the worm, but it's the second mouse who gets the cheese

    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
    - Albert Einstein

  6. #38
    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    We eat rice with EVERYTHING.
    Michael even likes rice & gravy and now won't eat the baby food dinner unless we put it over rice. Cajun-Baby, sho' nuff !
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  7. #39

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    Originally posted by Jolie Rouge
    We eat rice with EVERYTHING.
    Michael even likes rice & gravy and now won't eat the baby food dinner unless we put it over rice. Cajun-Baby, sho' nuff !
    LOL well you used to go to the farmers and get a 50lb bag of taters for about $5.00 whereas you got a 8oz bag of rice for .69 cents or flour was usually given away in 5lb bags if you bought $10.00 worth of groceries so it was a matter of economics rice was not cheap, it was an import to this area when I was a Kid
    {{{secret Pal}}
    Hold out bait to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him.

    The early bird might get the worm, but it's the second mouse who gets the cheese

    Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
    - Albert Einstein

  8. #40
    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    This is the Rice Growing Capital of the US - so here *it* is cheap....




    You're probably from Louisiana if...

    The crawdad mounds in your front yard have overtaken the grass.

    You greet people with "Howzyamomma'an'dem?" and hear back "Dey fine!"

    Every so often, you have waterfront property.

    When giving directions you use words like "uptown", "downtown", "backatown", "riverside", "lakeside",
    "other side of the bayou" or "other side of the levee.

    When you refer to a geographical location "way up North", you are referring to places like Shreveport, Little Rock or Memphis, "where it gets real cold " !

    When you have to count back years since the last snow.

    Your burial plot is six feet over rather than six feet under.

    You've ever had Community Coffee

    You can pronounce and properly spell Tchoupitoulas (also, Thibideaux, Opelousas, Ponchartrain, Ouachita, Atchafalaya,)

    You don't worry when you see ships riding higher in the river than the top of your house.

    You judge a po-boy by the number of napkins used. (Amen)

    The waitress at your local sandwich shop tells you a fried oyster po-boy "dressed" is healthier than a Caesar salad.

    **You know the definition of "dressed".**

    You can eat Popeye's, Haydel's and Zapp's for lunch and wash it down with Barq's and several Abitas, without losing it all on your stoop.

    The four seasons in your year are: crawfish, shrimp, Crab and King Cake.

    The smell of a crawfish boil turns you on more than HBO.

    You "wrench" your hands in the sink with an onion bar to get the crawfish smell off.

    You go by "ya-mom-en-`dems" on Good Friday for family supper.

    You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday.

    You don't realize until high school what a "county" is.

    You go to buy a new winter coat ( what most people refer to as windbreakers) and throw your arms up in the air to make sure it allows enough room to catch Mardi Gras beads.

    Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled.

    You know what a nutria is but you still pick it to represent your baseball team.

    You have spent a summer afternoon on the Lake Pontchartrain seawall catching blue crabs.

    You like your rice and politics dirty.

    You worry about a deceased family member returning in spring floods.
    (Scary, but true )

    You don't think twice about getting on a bus desgination : "Cemetaries".

    You pronounce the largest city in the state as "Nawlins".

    A friend gets in trouble for roaches in his car and you wonder if it was palmettos or those little ones that go after the French Fries that fell under the seat.

    You know those big roaches can fly, but you're able to sleep at night anyway.

    You prefer skiing on the bayou.

    You assume everyone has mosquito swarms in their backyard.

    You realize the rainforest is less humid than Louisiana.

    You realise that to live anywhere else must be very sad.
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  9. #41
    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    You know you're Italian when...

    You're 5'4", can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you.

    Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a '76 Monte Carlo.

    You share a bathroom with your 5 brothers, have no money, but drive a $45,000 Camaro or Firebird.

    Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives.

    You consider dunking a cannoli in an espresso a nutritious breakfast.

    Your 2 best friends are your cousin and your brother-in-law's brother-in-law.

    You are a card-carrying V.I.P at more than 3 strip clubs.

    Despite the hair on your back, you still try to impress the ladies by wearing your "Just do me" tank top to the beach.

    At least 5 of your cousins live on your street.

    All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather.

    A high school diploma and 1 year of Nassau Community College has earned you the title of "professore" among your aunts.

    You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.

    If someone in your family grows beyond 5'6", it is presumed his mother had an affair.

    There were more than 28 people in your bridal party.

    You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.

    At some point in your life, you were a D.J.

    30 years after immigrating, your parents still say "Pronto" when answering the phone.

    You have ever been in a fight defending Sly Stallone's thespian greatness.

    Somewhere on your parents' property, there is a bathtub Madonna.

    You build your house with 3 materials.... brick, brick and wrought iron.

    You have at least one sister that went to Beauty School.

    Clothes from the Chess King will actually fit you.

    It is impossible for you to talk with your hands in your pockets.

    Have been to a funeral where talk of the deceased is, "He shoulda kept his big yap shut."

    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  10. #42
    ahippiechic's Avatar
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    Thanx for the Wisconsin one, I'm sure my friend will love it. Have anymore for Arizona or even Phoenix? I love these posts!
    <a href=http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c28/unsocialhippie/thwayne.jpg target=_blank>http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c2...ie/thwayne.jpg</a>

  11. #43

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    Talking

    Please do New Jersey and Pennsylvania, if you have them. I've seen several for NJ (grew up there and I'll always be a "Jersey Girl" at heart!), but I've never seen any for Pennsylvania - which is where I live now, don't get me wrong, I like it just fine, but all of my siblings & my parents are in NJ so that will always be home to me.

    Jolie Rouge, I loved the Italian one - do you have others?

    Thanks for a very fun and interesting bunch of posts!

  12. #44
    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    Wink judyindaskyz - just because you asked .....

    69 ways to tell if you're from New Jersey:

    69) You went to Seaside after your senior prom.

    68) You watched "Mallrats" and said, "I've been to that mall!"

    67) At least half the people you knew in high school went to Rutgers.

    66) You know where Jimmy Hoffa is buried.

    65) Your big class trip in elementary school was to Morristown.

    64) You long for the days when the Devils wore Christmas colors.

    63) You know that the only people who call it "Joisey" are from New York.

    62) You've been to the Meadowlands Fair.

    61) You've planned a local trip around passing at least one Dunkin' Donuts.

    60) You don't think of citrus when people mention "The Oranges."

    59) You know that it's called "Great Adventure," not "Six Flags."

    58) You actually know bakeries that are not part of a supermarket, but are individual stores.

    57) You've ordered a "hard roll with butter" for breakfast.

    56) You've gone to a diner after drinking all night.

    55) You've eaten at that diner at 3 a.m. at least a dozen times.

    54) At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen.

    53) "Anyone who makes bad pizza can go to hell" is your attitude.

    52) You always use a minimum of 10 variations of the word "damn"
    while driving.

    51) You don't have to go to Red Lobster to get fresh seafood.

    50) You once said "It smells like New York in here."

    49) You can go bowling at 1:30 a.m. (with automatic scoring!)

    48) In high school you, or someone you know, worked at a Friendly's or Stewart's.

    47) The Garden State Parkway doesn't freak you out at night.

    46) You know what a "jug handle" is.

    45) You have mandatory recycling, enforced by law.

    44) You've eaten a pork roll and cheese on a hard roll, and liked it.

    43) You go to the boardwalk at least once a year.

    42) You've pondered, "Maybe basketball would be more popular in New Jersey if the Nets weren't here."

    41) You say the words "water," "coffee," "dog," and "whatever" weird (Wadder, Cawfee, Dowg, Wadever).

    40) Even your high school cafeteria made good Italian subs.

    39) You've lived through hurricanes, nor'easters, and brushfires, but have never seen a tornado, earthquake, tsunami, or volcano.

    38) You can't believe MTV went to Seaside Heights.

    37) You know that ACME is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros. creation.

    36) You only go to New York City for day trips.

    35) You've run out of money on the Parkway.

    34) You're Italian.

    33) You know where to get a great bagel.

    32) You think Perkins is terrible and should have never opened any restaurants in New Jersey.

    31) There are no self-serve gas stations, and you like it that way.

    30) You've had sex on the beach (not the beverage).

    29) You know how to successfully handle a traffic circle.

    28) The Jets/Giants game has started fights at your school and/or
    local bar.

    27) Your car is covered with yellow-green dust in April and May.

    26) You can't understand why there aren't more 24-hour diners anywhere else in the country.

    25) You live within 45 minutes of at least three different malls.

    24) Someone at the beach once called you a benny.

    23) You can see the New York City skyline from some part of your town.

    22) You know what MCCC is and a good percentage of people from your
    high school go there.

    21) You've seen, or been in, a fight between a Rangers fan and a Devils fan.

    20) You have, or know someone who has, Mafia connections.

    19) You're related to someone who thinks the New York Jets should be
    called the New Jersey Jets.

    18) You have at least one friend who drives a truck.

    17) You've been camping.

    16) You've been in a town or city where Spanish is spoken more than
    English.

    15) You can't remember when Clifton didn't win a Softball Championship.

    14) You know where to get drugs in Trenton, Paterson, Newark, or New York.

    13) You've been to a party in the woods.

    12) You've purchased fireworks in Chinatown.

    11) You played in a P.A.L. league.

    10) You liked the Jets even before last season.

    9) You know where to get a freshly cooked Taylor Ham, Egg, and Cheese
    sandwich at 2 a.m.

    8) You don't take no crap from no one.

    7) You remember Action Park and may have been seriously injured there.

    6) At some time you got on the wrong highway trying to get out of Willowbrook mall.

    5) Z-100 used to be your favorite radio station, now it's K-Rock.

    4) Anything less than three inches of snow isn't worth much.

    3) Someone on the road cut you off and you used at least four swear words to tell them what you thought.

    2) You think people from South Jersey talk funny.

    1) You know someone who lives in a neighborhood with contaminated water, because of toxic chemicals.





    ((so - how accurate are these ??))
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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