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  1. #12
    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    You Know You're From Chicago If:


    You (or someone you know) claims to have a relative who knew Al Capone.

    You've seen people eating corn on the cob with butter, mayonnaise, and paprika.

    You wonder why they dye the Chicago River green every year for St. Patrick's day (since it's already that color).

    You would NEVER put ketchup on a hotdog.

    You've said, "Dat woulda never happened if Da Mayah was still alive."

    You can't wait to see what the next Bigsby and Kruther's painting is going to be.

    You've experienced only two seasons: winter and summer.

    Every building on your block is a three-flat.

    You KNOW that the Sears Tower is STILL the tallest building in the world - no matter what anybody says.

    You're strangely amused by Eagleman insurance commercials: "I've got something... for you!" "Look at those LOW RATES!"

    You find cyclists downtown more aggravating than the taxis.

    You've argued, at length, about whether or not Mrs. O'Leary's cow did it.

    You let your Doberman outside one night and it was eaten by a rat.

    You've been everywhere they went in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

    It bothers you that all the suburbs have names like housing developments.

    You swear you know the guy in the Victory Auto Wrecker's commercial.

    Pizza only comes two ways: deep dish or stuffed.

    You know whose number is 588-2300.

    You ran into a cow walking to work in the summer of '99.

    You've tried several times to identify the Picasso sculpture in Daley Plaza - and have decided it's just a big baboon.

    You've been on a bus and heard five different conversations - none in languages you could understand.

    The words "Lincoln Towing" make you cringe.

    You still watch Bulls games.

    You can go see The Jerry Springer Show live any time you want.

    The "dingle-dingle-dingle-dingle-dingle" of the ice cream pushcarts gives you a headache, yet you can't stop salivating.

    You know better than to go swimming in Lake Michigan before July.

    You know where "you can always save more money."

    You know that when someone says, "I'll be taking LSD downtown," it has nothing to do with drugs.

    You've listened to Mancow's Morning Madhouse.

    You know where the old stockyards used to be.

    You are either a Cubs fan or a Sox fan - there is no happy medium.
    You are either one or the other. And you vehemently hate the other team and those who are fans of it.

    You go to Great America at least twice a year.

    Anyone who makes bad pizza can go to he!!.

    Anyone who's a Packers fan can go to he!!.

    You've paid $105 for towing, $60 for more than one "street cleaning" ticket, $58 for a city vehicle sticker, and $70 for a license plate sticker - and chalk it all up to "neighborhood taxes."

    You drink at bars called "Bud on Tap" or "Milwaukee's Best" - no names, just beer signs out front.

    You're not ashamed to wear a big fur Russian hat, or a headsock with one hole in it, in public from November through March.

    You know the significance of State and Madison.

    You *still* miss Jason Caffey.
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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  3. #13
    slyred's Avatar
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    You might be a Michigander!

    If you define Summer as three months of bad sledding...
    If your definition of a small town is one that doesn't have a lake...
    If your family breaks into violence during the UM-MSU game (any sport!)...
    If snow tires come standard on all your cars...
    If at least 50% of your relatives work for the auto industry...
    If you have ever gotten frostbitten and sunburned in the same week...
    If you can identify an Ohio accent...
    If owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your home town...
    If you learned to pilot a boat before the training wheels were off your bike...
    If you think Alkaline batteries were named after a Tiger outfielder...
    If you point at the palm of your right hand when telling people where you grew up...
    If you don't understand what the big deal about Chicago is...
    If someone asks you if you've been to Europe and you answer, "No, but I've been to Ann Arbor..."
    If "Down South" to you means Toledo...
    If you have any idea who Bob Ufer was...
    If octopus and hockey go together as naturally as hot dogs and baseball...
    If traveling coast to coast means going from Port Huron to Muskegon...
    If you refer to your relatives in southern Michigan as "trolls" or "lopers"...
    If the "Big Three" can mean either Ford, Chrysler and GM or Domino's, Little Caesar's and
    Hungry Howie's...
    If a Big Mac is something you can drive across...
    If you have no problem spelling Mackinac Island...
    If you got a passport to go to Ohio...
    If you have as many Canadian coins in your pockets as American ones...
    If your kid's baseball or softball games have been ever been snowed out..
    If the trees in your backyard have spigots...
    If you know that a place called "Kalamazoo" really exists...
    If you bake with "soda" and drink "pop"...
    If you know what a pastie is...
    If you drive 80 mph on the highway and pass on the right...
    If your favorite hockey team's mascot is an octopus...
    If you have a favorite hockey team...
    If you think there are only TWO seasons, Hockey Season and Off-Season...
    If you don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Vernor's...
    If you know how to play Euchre...
    If You classify your friends & relatives as "yoopers," "trolls," "Canadians," or "not from 'round here," (also classified as "Green Bay Fans," "Detroit Fans," "Toronto Fans," and "not from 'round here")...
    If You know at least 2 yooper jokes (like the one about the 2 brothers from Ipsheming who run red
    lights)...
    If Fudge and Bicycles remind you of your honeymoon...
    If You can name all 5 of the Great Lakes, and point to their locations around your left and right hands...
    If You don't cross picket lines...
    If You used to think Deer Season was included as an official school holiday...
    If You know that Pontiac and Cadillac are cities...
    If You've been to Hell and to Paradise & back again...
    If You had Tornado Drills in elementary school...
    If You know all the words to Gordon Lightfoot's classic ballad, "The Wreck of the Edmund
    Fitzgerald"...
    If You can actually pronounce Ypsilanti...
    If your idea of reaching Climax is driving just past Kalamazoo...
    If the snow on your roof in August weighs more than you do...
    If nothing weighs more than you do...
    If you consider a rusty pickup a "turn-on"...
    If you've ever gone "trolling for taillights"...
    If you laugh hysterically at the "suckers" during movies of the week about hurricanes...
    If you can travel through Detroit and not get mugged...
    If your idea of creative landscaping is putting an extra pair of pink flamingos next to your blue
    spruce...
    If you think there should be a "Fudgies go home" bumper sticker on every car north of Clare...
    If a Friday night out is taking your girlfriend shining for deer...
    You eat muskrat on Fridays during Lent because it's "seafood"...
    If you go "Up North" for every possible holiday...
    If you go to work in a snowsuit in the morning and return home wearing shorts...
    If you eat potato burgers in Elmira...
    If you sing along with the YES MICHIGAN commercials...
    When you tell someone where you are from and they say: 'I thought that was part of Canada'...
    If your idea of the seasons is Winter, Spring and the 4th of July...
    If formal wear is a flannel shirt, blue jeans and a baseball cap...
    If your children describe their summer vacation out of state as a "trip to Cedar Point..."
    If you have to go to Florida to get a tan in August...
    If you define "swimming season" as Labor Day weekend...
    If your 4th of July Family Picnic was moved indoors due to frost...
    If you went to school with more than one NBA basketball player...
    If you know where the city of Ocqueoc is AND can pronounce it...
    If you have more fishing poles than teeth...
    If you decided to have a picnic this summer because it fell on a weekend...
    If your two best friends are Eino and Toivo...
    If you know that there are two ways to spell Mackinaw/Mackinac...and know when to use them...
    If you know that Ontonogan isn't a geometry term...
    If you look forward to your retirement "Up North" rather than Florida or Arizona...
    If you know where the Cherry Capital of the World is...
    If you get wet going too far left or right...
    If three out of four of your friends work for "The Big Three"...
    If you know what "The Big Three" means...
    If you know WHY Paradise is colder than Hell...
    If you know that Saline isn't just a term for contact solution...
    If your town has a blizzard AND a tornado in the same week...
    If you want Toledo BACK...
    If you know the dollar value of a grocery bag filled with empty pop cans...
    If November 15 is a paid holiday from work...
    If "thumb" is a geographical rather than an anatomical term...
    If you expect Vernor's when you order ginger ale...
    If your fishing shanty is better than your house...
    If you have a bumper sticker that says "If they call it tourist season, what's the bag limit?"...
    If you drive six miles and wonder where the lake is...
    If you were the one who turned out the lights when you moved south...


    As a native michigander, these are true!!
    Last edited by slyred; 08-23-2002 at 01:55 PM.

  4. #14
    barb11021's Avatar
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    Slyred......I laughed and nodded through the whole thing. Thanks for the laugh....Slyred I laughed and nodded through the whole thing Thanks for the laugh
    I'm not tailgating....I'm drafting!!!!!

  5. #15
    barb11021's Avatar
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    OOPs. Didn't mean to post that twice......lol
    I'm not tailgating....I'm drafting!!!!!

  6. #16
    slyred's Avatar
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    Barb, I showed that list to some people here at work (in Alabama) and they didn't get it, I guess some of those are really localized lol!

  7. #17

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    Jolie-- Here is one for Ohio for you!

    If your from Ohio, you know how true this is.

    YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM OHIO IF:

    You've never met any celebrities.

    Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass
    a tractor on the highway.

    "Vacation" means driving through Hocking Hills or
    going to King's Island.

    You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they
    were popular.

    You measure distance in minutes.

    Down south to you means Kentucky.

    You know several people who have hit a deer.

    Your school classes were cancelled because of cold.

    Your school classes were canceled because of heat.

    You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.

    You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the
    same day.

    You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."

    You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.

    Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.

    You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.

    You see a car running in the parking lot at the store
    with no one in it no matter what time of the year.

    You end your sentences with an unnecessary
    preposition. Example:"Where's my coat at?" or "If you
    go to the mall I wanna go with."

    All the festivals across the state are named after a
    fruit, vegetable, or grain.

    You install security lights on your house and garage
    and leave both unlocked.

    You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork,
    beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.

    You carry jumper cables in your car.

    You know what "cow tipping" or "Possum Kicking" is.

    You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.

    You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a
    snowsuit.

    Driving is better in the winter because the potholes
    are filled with snow.

    You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

    You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel
    nightie.

    The local paper covers national and international
    headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.

    You think that deer season is a national holiday.

    You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

    You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly".

    You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still
    Winter, and Construction.

    You know what a real buckeye is, and have a recipe for
    candy ones.

    You know if another Ohioian is from southern, middle
    or northern
    Ohio as soon as they open their mouth.

    You can spell words like Cuyahoga and Tuscarawas.

    You know that Serpent Mound was not made by snakes.

    You actually get these jokes and forward them to all
    your Ohio friends.

  8. #18
    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    YEAH ! Slyred and Miccit came to PLAY !!!



    You know you're from Kansas when:

    You've never met any celebrities.

    Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

    You've seen all the biggest bands, ten years after they were popular.

    You measure distance in minutes.

    Down south to you means Arkansas.

    You know several people who have hit a deer.

    You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Tonganoxie."

    Your school's classes were cancelled because of cold.

    Your school's classes were cancelled because of heat.

    You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.

    You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

    You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."

    You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.

    Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.

    You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.

    You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.

    You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall I wanna go with."

    All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or grain.

    De-tasseling was your first job.

    Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice.

    You say catty-wumpus and kitty-corner.

    You install security lights on your house and garage, and leave both unlocked.

    You think of the four major food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.

    When asked how your trip was to any foreign, exotic place, you say, "It was different."

    You consider being called a "Pork Queen" an honor.

    You carry jumper cables in your car.

    Miccit : is it just me; or did 'my' Kansas list have a lot in common with 'your' Ohio list ???
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  9. #19
    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    How To Tell If You Are From Kentucky :

    1) You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.

    2) The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

    3) You were shooting pool when any of your children were born.

    4) Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos."

    5) Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."

    6) You've ever given rattraps as gifts.

    7) You clean your fingernails with a stick.

    8) You've ever hit a deer with your car, deliberately.

    9) Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

    10) You keep a can of Raid on your kitchen table.

    11) You've totaled every car you've ever owned.

    12) There has ever been crime-scene tape on your bathroom door.

    13) You ever got too drunk to fish.

    14) You consider the fifth grade your senior year.

    15) Directions to your house include, "Turn off the paved road."

    16) The dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

    17) Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

    18) You think the French Riviera is a foreign car.

    19) You prefer car keys to Q-Tips.

    20) You've ever financed a tattoo.

    21) The gas pedal in your car is shaped like a bare foot.

    22) You've ever bought a used hat.

    23) You've ever been involved in a custody fight over a dog.

    24) You're considered an expert on worm beds.

    25) You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

    26) Your stove is on the porch and your lawn chairs are in the kitchen.

    27) "Bambi" made you hungry for rabbit.

    28) You learned to drive in a monster truck.

    29) You spit chewing tobacco in houseplants.

    30) Your wedding reception included a beer brunch.

    31) You believe books are bad luck.

    32) You believe professional wrestling should be an Olympic event.

    33) You believe "professional" wrestling!

    34) You recycle motor oil by moving it from the car to the truck.

    35) You think a "thesaurus" was a dinosaur in the Lost World.
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  10. #20
    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    You know if you're from Maine if:


    You've had arguments over the comparative quality of Fried Dough.

    When it snows four inches you call it "a dusting."

    Your neighbor's house was foreclosed after an unlucky 24-hour mini-cruise on the Scotia Prince.

    You don't understand why there aren't fried clam shacks elsewhere in the country.

    You know what an Irving is and the location of 15 of them.

    You know all the flavors at Perry's Nut House.

    Your car is covered in yellow-green dust in May.

    You can drive the Augusta traffic circle without slowing down.

    You've hung out at a gravel pit.

    You think a mosquito could be a species of bird.

    You once skipped school and went to Bar Harbor, Old Orchard Beach, or Reid State Park.

    Even your school cafeteria made good chowder.

    You've almost fallen asleep driving between Houlton and Presque Isle.

    You know how to pronounce Calais.

    You've made a meal out of a Jordan's red dye hot-dog, a bag of Humpty-Dumpty potato chips, and a can of soda.

    You've gone to a Grange bean supper.

    In high school, you (or a friend) packed Deering Ice Cream cones.

    At least once in your life, a seagull pooped on your head.

    At least once in your life you've said, "It smells like the mill in here."

    There's a fruit and vegetable stand within 10 minutes of your house.

    You crave Italian sandwiches at least weekly.

    Your idea of a traffic jam is being the second car at the stoplight.

    You wonder out loud if the state can just close its borders to people from "away."

    Your house converts to a B&B every July & August for people from away that you happen to know.

    All year long you're tracking sand in the house -- from the beach in the summer and the roads and sidewalks in the winter.

    You have a front door but no porch to get to it.

    Your kids start using "wicked" as a multipurpose part of speech.

    You have to have the sand cleaned out of your brake system every spring.

    You do the majority of your shopping out of Uncle Henry's.

    You've ditched the car on the side of the road somewhere because you thought you saw some good fiddleheads!

    You've had a vacation from school just to help the family pick potatoes

    If you know a lobster pot is a trap, not a kettle.

    If you know not to plant tender crops until the last full moon in May.

    When you go to the dump and bring back more than you brought.

    You've ever given directions to someone from away and intentionally led them in the opposite direction they wanted to go.

    You watch "Murder, She Wrote" and snicker at the stupid fake accents.

    You know how to find the rope swing at the quarry.

    You take the New Hampshire toll personally.

    You feel really, really good when you cross the Piscatiqua River Bridge into Kittery.

    You always wave when you see a Maine license plate in another state.

    When a roll of Duct tape and a can of flat black spray paint will get your car to pass inspection.

    When you know how to avoid all the traffic at the Fryeburg Fair by using the "Secret Entrance."

    When you have to replace you mailbox yearly because of the town plow.

    When you know how to get from Cumberland to Fryeburg via the "Egypt Road."

    When you can remember when the "Egypt Road" was a dirt track through the woods.

    When you're supposed to dress up, you wear flannel with a tie.

    You know that Moody's Diner does NOT take credit cards!

    You actually miss the fifteen-below-zero mornings in winter (that have been eliminated by the greenhouse effect) because you enjoyed running or walking to work in the silent crystal stillness, punctuated by an idling car engine as the owner waited indoors for the car to warm up before his mad dash from warmth to warmth, and your lungs did not freeze; thank you very much for your concern.

    When the word "stove" refers to what you did to the right front fender of your truck after you've had a wicked bring-up on a rock.

    When there's too much "stuff" in your 2 "cah" garage to get either of your cars into it.

    When you know what a frappe is.

    When you know the smell of Woodsmen's fly dope.

    When you eat supper at night and dinner at noon.
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  11. #21
    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    You know you're from Maryland when:

    *You can tell the difference between the smells of septic and marsh.

    *You not only know how to eat hard crabs but you also know how to catch them and cook them and tell the males from the females.

    *You don't think that Assawoman Bay is a strange name for a body of water.

    *You know perfectly well why Rehoboth is called "Little San Francisco"

    *M R Ducks makes perfect sense.

    *So does C M Wangs.

    *You think Salisbury is a big city.

    *You call the Pocomoke Super Wal-Mart "The Mall."

    *You think of dumplings as wet slippery squares of boiled dough.

    *You and your boss take off of work when the fish are running or the ducks are flying in.

    *Snow confounds you.

    *You've eaten muskrat at a church dinner but think it's better the way you fix it.

    *You're some how related to everyone else at that dinner.

    *You don't take pictures of the ponies on Assategue.

    *You haven't been to the beach during the summer in years.

    *Finishing a job on time really has no meaning to you.

    *You think of "Dairy Queen" as a pageant title and not a place to get an ice cream.

    *"Formal wear" is a ball cap, a flannel shirt and Timberlands.
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  12. #22
    ahippiechic's Avatar
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    the one for Kentucky could be for TN, too!
    <a href=http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c28/unsocialhippie/thwayne.jpg target=_blank>http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c2...ie/thwayne.jpg</a>

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