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  1. #144
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    You Know You Are From Michigan When...

    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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  3. #145
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    1. If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license,
    but not for being in the country illegally
    … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

    2. If you have to get your parents permission to go on a field trip
    or take an aspirin in school,
    but not to get an abortion,
    … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

    3. If you have to show identification to board an airplane,
    to cash a check, to buy liquor, or tocheck out a library book,
    but not to vote,
    … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

    4. If the government wants to ban stable, law-abiding citizens
    from owning gun magazines with more than ten rounds,
    but gives 20 F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt,
    you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

    5. If, in our largest city, you can buy "two" 16-ounce sodas,
    but not a 24-ounce soda
    because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat,
    … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

    6. If an 80-year-old woman and 3 yr old child can be stripped searched by the TSA,
    but a woman in a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched,
    … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

    7. If your government believes that the best way
    to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt
    is to spend trillions more,
    … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

    8. If a seven year old boy can be thrown out of school
    for saying his teacher is cute,
    but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable,
    … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

    9. If children are forcibly removed from parents who discipline them with spankings
    while children of addicts are left in filth and drug infested homes,
    … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

    10. If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government intrusion,
    while not working is rewarded with EBT cards,
    WIC checks, Medicaid, subsidized housing, and free cell phones,
    … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

    11. If you pay your mortgage faithfully,
    denying yourself the newest big screen TV
    while your neighbor buys iPhones, TVs and new cars,
    and the government forgives his debt when he defaults on his mortgage,
    … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

    12. If being stripped of the ability to defend yourself
    makes you more safe according to the government
    … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  4. #146
    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    MICHIGAN, according to JEFF FOXWORTHY: If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you may live in Michigan.

    If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't even work there, you may live in Michigan.

    If you've worn shorts and a jacket at the same time, you may live in Michigan.

    If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Michigan.

    If "vacation" means going anywhere North of Grand Rapids for the weekend, you may live in Michigan.

    If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Michigan.

    If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Michigan.

    If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you may live in Michigan.

    If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Michigan.

    If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both doors unlocked, you may live in Michigan.

    If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Michigan.

    If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Michigan.

    If the speed limit on the highway is 70 mph -you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Michigan.

    If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Michigan.

    If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Michigan.

    If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Michigan.

    If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in Michigan.

    If you actually understand these jokes, repost this so all of your Michigan friends and others can see,
    you definitely do live - or have lived - in Michigan
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  5. #147
    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    LSU Tiger Football "Calling Baton Rouge"
    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=4425560753828
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  6. #148
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    I DO live in Michigan and yep, a lot of that stuff is true!!
    What Goes Around, Comes Around

  7. #149
    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    Tips When You Visit The South...

    --If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth eating.

    -- If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel-drive truck with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help, just stay out of their way -- this is what ...they live for.

    -- Don't be surprised to find boiled peanuts, movie rentals and fishing bait in the same store.

    -- Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.

    -- Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.

    -- If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" -- stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.

    -- If you see a turn signal blinking on a car with a southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased.

    -- Satellite dishes are very popular in the South. They are to be positioned directly in front of one's trailer, since it cost considerably more than the trailer and should, therefore, be displayed.

    -- As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember: many Southerners learned to drive on a John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for that vehicle.

    -- You can ask a Southerner for directions, but unless you already know the positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're better off trying to find it yourself.
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  8. #150
    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    Southern Sweet, Louisiana Loud and Proud


    Here are some ways to know if you're a true Louisianian...

    1. You can properly pronounce Lafayette, Bossier, Natchitoches, Opelousas, Shongaloo, Pontchartrain, Ouachita, and you know that New Orleans doesn't have a long "e" sound anywhere in it

    2. You think people who complain about the heat in their states are pansies.

    3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.

    4. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.

    5. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.

    6. You've seen people wear bib overalls at funerals.

    7. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

    8. You measure distance in minutes.

    9. Little Smokies are something you serve only for special occasions. ( and every family has a "prized secret sauce" )

    10. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.

    11. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

    12. You know cowpatties are not made of beef.

    13. Someone you know has used a LSU football schedule to plan their wedding date. ( or funeral )

    14. You have known someone who has a belt buckle bigger than your fist.

    15. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.

    16. A Mercedes Benz isn't a status symbol. A Ford F-250 Extended Bed Crew Cab Powerstroke is a status symbol.

    17. You know everything goes better with 'Tony's'.

    18. You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how to multiply

    19. You actually get these jokes and are "fixin" to send them to your friends.

    20. You're not offended by the term "coonass." If anything, it's a compliment.

    Finally, you are 100% Louisianian if you have ever had this conversation:

    "You wanna coke?"
    "Yeah."
    "What kind?"
    "Dr Pepper."
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  9. #151
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    THINGS I LEARNED LIVIN' IN LOUSISIANA

    Enjoy!


    1) A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

    2) There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in Louisiana .

    3) There are 10,000 types of spiders, and all 10,000 of them live in Louisiana .

    4) If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

    5) 'Onced" and "Twiced" are words..

    6) It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.

    7) "Jawl-P?" means, "Did y'all go to the bathroom?"

    8 )People actually grow and eat okra.

    9) "Fixinto" is one word.

    10) There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there is supper...

    11) Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar..

    12) Backwards and forwards means, "I know everythin' 'bout you.

    13) The word "jeet" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?"

    14) You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is.. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see...

    15) You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH 'em.

    16) You measure distance in minutes.

    17) You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

    18) All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.

    19) You know what a "Dawg" is.

    20) You carry jumper cables in your car - for your own car.

    21) You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Tony Chachere's, Tabasco , and ketchup.

    22) The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and LSU football...

    23) You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

    24) You find 100 degrees "a bit warm."

    25) You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.
    ( or football, Mardi Gras, baseball preseason )

    26) Going to Walmart is a favorite past time known as "Goin' Walmartin" or "off to Wally World."

    27) You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good gumbo weather..

    28) Fried catfish is the other white meat.

    29) We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. . . if our mama says we can drive, we can drive.

    30) You understand these jokes and forward them to your Louisiana friends and those who just wish they were from Louisiana !!
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  10. #152
    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    What is a Cajun?
    by Bob Hamm
    Copyright © 1972 by Bob Hamm


    Between the red hills of North Louisiana and the blue waters of the Gulf of Mexico, lives the Cajun. Among the marshes and the bayous, the tall oaks and whispering moss, he carries on the traditions of his hardy Nova Scotian ancestors, les Acadiens (the Acadians), whose flight from persecution brought them to the lush South soil over two centuries ago.

    In other parts of the world, little girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice, while little boys are made of snips and snails and puppy dog tails.

    Little Cajun children are made of gumbo, boudin and sauce piquante . . . crawfish stew and es de Cochon.

    A Cajun child is given bayous to fish in, marshes to trap in, room to grow in and churches to worship in.

    A Cajun likes fiddles and accordions in his music, plenty of pepper in his courtbouillon, shrimp in his nets, speed in his horses, neighborliness in his neighbors and love in his home.

    A Cajun dislikes people who don't laugh enough, fish enough, or enjoy enough of all the good things God has given to the Cajun Country Rice Country.

    He doesn't like to be hurried when he's resting or distracted when he's working. He doesn't like to see people unhappy, and he'll do all he can or give all he has to bring a smile to a face stricken with sadness.

    A Cajun likes to dance and laugh and sing when his week of hard work has ended.

    And just as Saturday night at the fais-do-do replenishes his store of energy and his personal balance so he can meet the next week's chores with vigor, Sunday at Church refreshes his spiritual and moral values and keeps strong his always sustaining faith.

    A link with a proud past, a Cajun is a man of tolerance who will let the world go its way if the world will let him go his. He is a man of great friendliness who will give you the crawfish off his table, the Sac-au-Lait off his hook or the shirt off his back.

    But if you cross a Cajun, he'll give you the back of his hand or the toe of his boot. If he likes you, he'll give you his whole wide, wonderful world. If he doesn't, he'll give you a wide berth.

    A Cajun is a complex person, with as many ingredients in his makeup as there are in the gumbo Mama makes for special company.
    He has tolerance for those who earn it ... charity for those who need it ... a smile for those who will return it ... and love for all who will share it.

    BUT ... a Cajun can be as stubborn as a mule and as ornery as an alligator. If he sets his head on something, he'll fight a circle saw before he'll yield to your opinions.

    You'd as well argue with a fence post as try to change the mind of a Cajun.

    And, as fun-loving as he is, a Cajun can work as long and hard as any man. He carved out "Acadiana" by hand, from the swamps and marshes and uncultivated prairies.

    But when the work is done and the argument ended, a Cajun can sweep you right into a wonderful world of joie de vivre with an accordion chorus of "Jolie Blonde" and a handful of happy little words.

    Five little words to be exact:
    Laissez les bon temps rouler!
    Let the good times roll!
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  11. #153
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    Tony Chachere's ~ Can you pass the Cajun Test?

    Quick, say these names aloud:

    Bob Richard.
    Sue Hollier.
    Bob Calais.
    Sue Benoit.
    Bob Champagne.
    If #1 sounds like President Nixon’s first name…you fail.

    If #2 and #3 don’t rhyme…you fail.

    If #4 doesn’t sound like it should have a W in it…you fail.

    If #5 sounds like a drink…you fail.

    ....

    Correct answers : I'd pronounce as follows
    #1 ree-SHARD,
    #2 HOL-eee-yay,
    #3 CAH-lay,
    #4 BEN-wah,
    #5 shom - pine!
    Last edited by Jolie Rouge; 10-21-2013 at 12:33 PM.
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

  12. #154
    Jolie Rouge's Avatar
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    13 Southern Sayings That The Rest Of America Won't Understand
    Christina Sterbenz and Rylan Miller

    Language discrepancies naturally arise in different geographic regions, like the raging “pop” vs. “soda” debate. But the South undoubtedly takes the cake. Conversations south of the Mason-Dixon line will befuddle anyone not born there. We chose 15 of the most ridiculous Southern sayings — and tried to explain them.

    1. “We’re living in high cotton.”

    Cotton has long been a key crop to the South’s economy, so every harvest farmers pray for tall bushes loaded with white fluffy balls in their fields. Tall cotton bushes are easier to pick and yield higher returns. If you’re living “in high cotton,” it means you’re feeling particularly successful or wealthy.

    2. “She was madder than a wet hen.”

    Hens sometimes enter a phase of “broodiness” — they'll stop at nothing to incubate their eggs and get agitated when farmers try to collect them. Farmers used to dunk hens in cold water to “break” their broodiness.

    You don’t want to be around a hormonal hen after she’s had an ice bath.

    3. “He could eat corn through a picket fence.”

    This describes someone with an unfortunate set of buck teeth. They tend to stick up and outward, like a horse’s teeth. Imagine a horse eating a carrot, and you’ll get the picture.

    4. “You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.”

    A pig’s ear may look soft, pink, and shiny, but you’re not fooling anyone by calling it your new Marc Jacobs bag. A Southerner might say this about her redneck cousin who likes to decorate his house with deer antlers.

    5. “You look rode hard and put up wet.”

    No, this isn’t Southern sexual innuendo. The phrase refers to a key step in horse grooming — when a horse runs fast, it works up a sweat, especially under the saddle. A good rider knows to walk the horse around so it can dry off before going back to the stable. A horse will look sick and tired if you forget this step, much like a person who misses sleep or drinks too much.

    6. “He’s as drunk as Cooter Brown.”

    Cooter Brown is an infamous character in Southern lore. Legend tells that he lived on the Mason-Dixon line — the border between the North and South — during the Civil War. To avoid the draft on either side, Cooter decided to stay drunk throughout the entire war, making him ineligible for battle.

    Inebriated Southerners have measured their drunkenness by him ever since.

    7. “She’s as happy as a dead pig in the sunshine.”

    When a pig dies, presumably in a sty outside, the sun dries out its skin. This effect pulls the pig’s lips back to reveal a toothy “grin,” making it look happy even though it’s dead. This phrase describes a person who’s blissfully ignorant of reality.

    8. “She's got more nerve than Carter's got Liver Pills.”

    Carters Products started as a pill-peddling company in the latter part of the 19th century. Specifically, Carters repped its “Little Liver Pills” so hard a Southern saying spawned from the omnipresent advertisements.

    Alas, the Federal Trade Commission forced the drug-group to drop the “liver” portion of the ad, claiming it was deceptive. Carter's “Little Liver Pills” became Carter's “Little Pills” in 1951, but the South doesn't really pay attention to history. The phrase stuck.

    9. “I'm finer than frog hair split four ways.”

    Southerners mostly use this phrase to answer, “How are you?” Even those below the Mason-Dixon know frogs don't have hair, and the irony means to highlight just how dandy you feel.

    The phrase reportedly originated in C. Davis’ “Diary of 1865.”

    10. “He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.”

    On farms (not just in the South) roosters usually crow when the sun rises. Their vociferous habit wakes up the house, signaling time to work.

    An extremely cocky rooster might think the sun rises simply because he crows. Similarly, an extremely cocky man might think the same when he speaks — and also that everyone should listen to him.

    11. “That's about as useful as tits on a bull.”

    Only female dairy cows produce milk. Male cows are called bulls. And even if you could “milk anything with nipples,” bulls tend to be rather ornery. Good luck with that.

    12. “That thing is all catawampus.”

    Catawampus adj: askew, awry, cater-cornered.

    Lexicographers don't really know how it evolved, though. They speculate it's a colloquial perversion of “cater-corner.” Variations include: catawampous, cattywampus, catty wonkus. The South isn't really big on details.

    13. “He's got enough money to burn a wet mule.”

    In 1929, then-Governor of Louisiana Huey Long, nicknamed “The Kingfish,” tried to enact a five-cent tax on each barrel of refined oil to fund welfare programs. Naturally, Standard Oil threw a hissy fit and tried to impeach him on some fairly erroneous charges (including attending a drunken party with a stripper).

    But Long, a good ole' boy, fought back. He reportedly said the company had offered legislators as much as $25,000 for their votes to kick him out of office — what he called “enough money to burn a wet mule.”

    We Northerners may not know what that means, but at least we know where it comes from.

    Bonus: Bless Your Heart

    Almost everyone knows Southern women drop this phrase constantly. But it might not mean what you think it means.

    In reality, the phrase has little to do with religion and more to do with a passive-aggressive way to call you an idiot. Depending on your inflection, saying “bless your heart” can sting worse than any insult.


    Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/south...#ixzz2jj0VZAza
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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