-
BIG BIG BRATBEAR
redneck
Well at least this time it was a redneck not a blonde, lol
> >
> >
> >A couple of redneck hunters are out in the woods when one of them
falls
to
> >the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are rolled
back
in his head.
> >The other redneck starts to panic, then whips out his cell phone
and
calls 911.
> >
> >He frantically blurts out to the operator, "O my gawd! Help! My
friend
just died.
> >He's dead! What can I do?" The operator, trying to calm him says,
"Take
it
> >easy. I can help. Just listen to me and follow my instructions.
First,
lets
> >make sure he's
> >dead." There's a short pause, and then the operator hears a loud
gun
shot.
> >The redneck comes back on the line and says, "OK, now what?"
> >
If you're waiting for tomorrow,
Why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day.
IF YOU REACH BACK IN YOUR MEMORY
A LITTLE BELL MIGHT RING
BOUT A TIME THAT ONCE EXISTED
WHEN MONEY WASN'T KING
--TOM PETTY--
-
-
08-09-2002 05:32 PM
# ADS
Circuit advertisement
-
Banned
Sounds like my relatives. I once had great-uncles who got drunk while cutting wood. One dared the other to cut off his middle three fingers. So, he did. Then the other dared the one with the fingers cut off to cut off his fingers and he did it. So, two of my great uncles were missing their middle 3 fingers!
Rednecks! You gotta wonder. Heck what am I saying I passed (or is it failed) Jeff Foxworthy's redneck test. 
-
-
A friend is a second self
Alabama's Windows XP
Windows XP may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama. If you have one of the Alabama editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The Alabama edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS XP with a background picture of the General Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver. Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption, Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys, Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard, Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive, and floppies are them little ole plactic discn thangs.
Other features: Instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
OK = ats aww-right
cancel = hail no
reset = awa shoot
yes = shore
no = Naaaa
find = hunt-fer it
go to = over yonder
back = back yonder
help = hep me out here
stop = ternit off
start = crank it up
settings = sittins
programs = stuff at does stuff
documents = stuff I done done
Also note that winders XP does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.
Some programs that are exclusive to winders XP
tiperiter...........a word processor
colering book.......a graphics program
addin mershene......calculator
outhouse paper .....notepad
jupe-box ...........CD Player
iner-net............Microsoft Explorer
pichers.............A graphics viewer
IRS.................M/S accounting software
IRS2.................M/S accounting software with hidden files
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the Alabama edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.
To know the true value of a friend~lose one
-
Reply With Quote