-
Signs You're Not a Very Good Cook
Your meals look just like the pictures on the cover of the magazine -- Aviation Disaster Weekly.
Only similarity between your Mexican cuisine and actual Mexican cuisine is the vomiting and diarrhea.
Jack Kevorkian keeps writing to ask for recipes.
Your leftovers don't have an expiration date... they have a half-life.
When no one's looking, the dog sneaks your food to his heartworms after your son sneaks it to him.
The EPA has opened a branch office in your breakfast nook.
After all this time, it turns out the recipes were calling for *chicken* eggs.
First day in the kitchen, your job was "toast the bread."
Then you were downgraded to "cut the bread."
Now it's simply "stop your bleeding."
You still can't figure out what the hell a "tiblisp" is.
The Defense Department has requested your rice pilaf recipe as a repair compound for leaky battleships.
After lower than anticipated craving for your arroz con stinkbug, you think you overhear your fellow Survivors discussing how to cook stew.
Your name?
Stu.
The cat shuns your table scraps in favor of its own vomit.
Your Chicken a la King is served on a bed of shocking gray hair.
Your tapeworm has issued an unconditional surrender.
... and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign
You're Not a Very Good Cook...
Lobster? Climbs out of the pot, grabs a cook book, and proceeds to beat you with it.
-
Pot Stickers
1 pound cooked ground chicken breast
4 cups Chinese cabbage, finely chopped
2 Tbsp. soy sauce
1 Tbsp. sesame oil
2 Tbsp. rice wine
1 clove garlic, minced
1/3 cup green onions, chopped
Salt and pepper to taste
30 - 40 6-inch square egg roll wrappers
Combine all ingredients together in a large bowl and allow to sit for about an hour at room temperature to allow flavors to blend. Place about 1 Tbsp. of mixture in the middle of each egg roll wrapper. Gently bring up edges to meet at the top and seal; you may need to moisten your fingers so the edges will stick. Place pot stickers in a slightly greased skillet over medium heat and cook for several minutes until golden brown; turning on all sides to evenly cook. Serve with soy dipping sauce recipe to follow.
Soy Dipping Sauce
1/4 cup soy sauce
1 clove garlic, minced
2 Tbsp. water
2 Tbsp. green onions
These little goodies are a sure-fire hit. Chinese cabbage is nice and crunchy and really makes the recipe. You could add some minced water chestnuts and bean sprouts to add a little extra crunch. Also feel free to substitute minced shrimp or ground pork for the chicken.
The Skinny: This recipe is already fairly healthful. Pot stickers are cooked in a pan rather than deep fat fried like egg rolls. Therefore, you save on all the oil and fat from frying. The ground chicken is also low in fat and calories. Use Non-Stick spray in the skillet to cut down on the fat even more. There is a fair amount of salt in the recipe with all of the soy sauce. We use low sodium soy sauce at home and cannot discern any real difference in taste.
Chicken and Beef Kabobs
1 pound lean tender beef cut into 1-inch cubes
1 pound chicken breasts cut into 1-inch cubes
1/4 cup olive oil
1 clove garlic
2 Tbsp. dry sherry
2 Tbsp. soy sauce
1 small bottle Italian dressing
2 onions, quartered
1 pint cherry tomatoes
1 pound fresh mushrooms
2 yellow, red or green peppers or a combination of each sliced
1 - 15 oz. can pineapple chunks, drained
Place beef cubes in the mixture of olive oil, garlic, dry sherry and soy sauce and marinate for at least 1 hour. Place chicken cubes in the Italian dressing and allow to marinate at the same time as the beef. When the meat is finished marinating place on skewers alternating with vegetables. Brush on the remaining Italian dressing and grill over medium-high heat to desired doneness. We love Kabobs. The wonderful blend of colors and flavors makes for a main course that is both attractive and tasty. You can also get creative with the ingredients. For example, fresh zucchini slices can be used on the Kabobs along with very thin slices of red potatoes. You can also add different meats to the mix such as large shrimp, scallops and firm fish like tuna.
Curried Rice
1 and 1/2 cup wild rice
1 small onion, chopped
1/3 cup celery, chopped
2 tsp. curry powder or to taste
1/4 cup butter
1 cup chicken broth
1 cup water
1/2 cup cashews, chopped
Salt and pepper to taste
Melt butter in a saucepan and saute onion and celery together until tender. Add rice, water, chicken broth, curry powder and salt and pepper. Bring to a boil then reduce heat and simmer covered for 15 - 20 minutes or until all liquid is absorbed. Sprinkle with chopped cashews.
This rice dish goes very well with the Kabobs. Serve the Kabobs on top of a big bed of the rice and let your guests disassemble the Kabobs on their own. This creates an attractive presentation that is also functional because the rice prevents the Kabob from rolling off of the plate during the serving process.
Strawberry Mango Cobbler
2 pints fresh strawberries, sliced
2 cups fresh mango, peeled and cubed
1 Tbsp. crystallized ginger, chopped
1 cup flour
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup oats
1/4 cup butter, melted
1/4 cup lemon juice
In a large bowl, combine fruit, ginger, flour, sugars and oats. Place in a slightly greased 13 x 9 inch baking pan. Sprinkle lemon juice and melted butter over cobbler and cook for 40 minutes at 375 degrees. Allow to cool and serve with ice cream if desired. This recipe is very light and just great for hot weather meals. The mangos and strawberries compliment each other very well and the preparation is so easy. Your guests will think you slaved over a hot oven for hours so keep the simple preparation technique a secret.
-
Tin-Can Ice Cream - 1
1 Cup Milk
1 Cup Whipping Cream
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
Nuts or fruit as desired
Put all ingredients in a 1-pound coffee can with a tight fitting plastic lid. Place lid on can. Place can with ingredients inside a #10 can (larger coffee can) with a tight fitting lid. Pack larger can with crushed ice around smaller can. Pour at least 3/4 cup of rock salt evenly over ice. Place lid on #10 can. Roll back and forth on a table or cement slab for 10 minutes. Open outer can. Remove inner can with ingredients. Remove lid. Use a rubber spatula to stir up mixture. Scrape sides of can. Replace lid. Drain ice water from larger can. Insert smaller can: pack with more ice and rock salt. Roll back and forth for 5 more minutes. Makes about 3 cups. You can also put a few clean marbles in the can to help stir the ingredients. Just be sure to remove them before eating to avoid a choking hazard.
-- Heather from Pittsburg
Zip Lock Bag Ice Cream
2 Tbsp. Sugar
1 cup milk or half and half
1/2 tsp. Vanilla
6 Tblsp. rock salt
1 pint sized plastic zip bag
1 gallon-sized plastic zip bag
Fill the gallon zip bag half full of ice. Add rock salt and seal. Pour sugar, milk/half and half, and vanilla into the pint-sized plastic bag and seal. Place the pint-sized bag into the gallon bag and seal. Shake the bag for 5 - 7 minutes. Open the small zip bag and enjoy!
Tin Can Ice Cream - 2
1 cup milk
1 egg
1 cup whipping cream
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
nuts or fruit as desired
Put all ingredients in a 1 pound coffee can with a tight-fitting lid. Place lid on can. Place can with ingredients inside a 3-pound can with a tight fitting lid. Pack larger can with crushed ice around smaller can. Pour at least 3/4 cup of rock salt evenly over ice. Place lid on 3-pound can. Roll back and forth on a table or cement slab for 10 minutes. Open outer can. Remove inner can with ingredients. Remove lid. Use a rubber spatula to stir up mixture; scrape sides of can. Drain ice water from larger can. Insert smaller can; pack with more ice and salt. Roll back and forth for 5 more minutes. Makes about 3 cups.
- Mary de Jong, Azusa, CA
-
Betty's Brussels Sprouts Soup
1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup flour
Salt and pepper to taste
1-1/2 cups chopped celery
1 cup chopped onion
1 quart chicken broth
5 cups milk
2-1/2 pounds frozen Brussels sprouts
Melt butter in saucepan. Stir in flour, salt and pepper. Stir until smooth and set over low heat. Sauté celery and onion. Gradually add chicken broth and milk. Add Brussels sprouts that have been cut in half. Cook for 35 minutes.
SERVINGS: 10 to 12
-
Where's the "Spicy Chocolate Cake" ??? :( :( :(
-
Grilled Mediterranean Sandwiches
1/2 cup butter, softened, divided
12 slices crusty Italian bread, divided
1/2 cup ranch dressing
12 slices (8 oz.) Sliced Provolone Cheese, divided
1 jar (12 oz.) roasted red peppers, drained and cut into large pieces
1 small green bell pepper, thinly sliced
1/2 cup sliced pitted kalamata or ripe olives
1 large tomato, thinly sliced
1 small cucumber, thinly sliced
Spread butter over one side of each bread slice. Heat large grill pan or non-stick skillet over medium heat. Spread butter over one side of bread. Place 6 bread slices on griddle, buttered sides down. Top bread slices with dressing, cheese, peppers, olives, tomato, cucumber, remaining cheese and bread slices, buttered sides up. Cook over medium-low heat 4 to 5 minutes per side or until golden brown and cheese is melted.
-
CINCO DE MAYO - CELEBRATIONS
Cinco de Mayo (the Fifth of May) is a Mexican holiday that commemorates the Mexican victory over the French in an 1862 battle in Puebla, Mexico. Despite it's origins, Cinco de Mayo has become a bigger celebration in the United States than it is in Mexico.
That means that even if you're not from Mexico, you can make Cinco de Mayo part of your heritage! And what better way to get into the spirit of this authentic Mexican holiday than to cook an authentic Mexican dinner.
Here are some tasty menu suggestions:
- Ortega Green Chile Guacamole : http://mail.nestleusa-crm.com/Key=2227.VjK.V.Ky9L2S
- Original Ortega Taco Recipe : http://mail.nestleusa-crm.com/Key=2227.VjK.W.Lcy3Br
- Turkey Tacos : http://mail.nestleusa-crm.com/Key=2227.VjK.X.FfdV6C
- Mexican Rice : http://mail.nestleusa-crm.com/Key=2227.VjK.Y.C9lx2v
- Ortega Refried Salsa Beans : http://mail.nestleusa-crm.com/Key=2227.VjK.Z.LWwHdR
- Cinnamon Chocolate Pudding : http://mail.nestleusa-crm.com/Key=2227.VjK.0.jqWcK
For more great Mexican recipes that you can use to liven up your Cinco de Mayo, check out these articles:
- 21 Tips for a Fine Fiesta : http://mail.nestleusa-crm.com/Key=2227.VjK.1.G827R8
- How to Decorate for Cinco de Mayo : http://mail.nestleusa-crm.com/Key=2227.VjK.2.PPr2HK
- How to Make a Cinco de Mayo Pinata : http://mail.nestleusa-crm.com/Key=2227.VjK.3.JF07DH
- How to Make a Poncho for Cinco de Mayo : http://mail.nestleusa-crm.com/Key=2227.VjK.4.CBwXct
ON-LINE TORTILLA WRAPPING CLASS
A tortilla is an incredibly useful ingredient in many authentic Mexican recipes. Besides tasting great, a tortilla turns almost any food into finger food. But to really enjoy them, it's important to know how to use tortillas to wrap your favorite Mexican recipes. Click here For an animated lesson on wrapping with tortillas click here: http://mail.nestleusa-crm.com/Key=2227.VjK.Q.CtMYgR
Do you want to know what to wrap? Here are some recipes that taste great inside tortilla wraps:
- wraps: http://mail.nestleusa-crm.com/Key=2227.VjK.R.Kw3DK2
- burritos: http://mail.nestleusa-crm.com/Key=2227.VjK.S.Lg6dSR
- tacos: http://mail.nestleusa-crm.com/Key=2227.VjK.T.Fzyqwk
-
Italian Summer Squash
10 med size Zucchini Squash (halved lengthwise and sliced)
7 med size Yellow Squash (sliced)
8oz Mushrooms (sliced)
1 med/small Red Onion (largely diced)
1 stick of salted butter (I like to use real butter here)
1 tbsp dried Italian seasoning
Wash and prepare veggies. Melt butter in skillet. Add onion and Zucchini, cook for about 5 minutes on med heat. Add mushrooms and squash; add the Italian seasoning by putting the seasoning in your hand and rubbing it between palms over the skillet (this wakes up the flavor). Continue to cook all this until tender.
-
Total Posts: 4,170
User Posts
Jolie Rouge 1142
the fugative 1132
jaybird 850
flute 427
Gumball1960 301
baby_froggy_69 74
Tasha405 47
Angelbabym 27
wanted4all 16
anarmywife 16
unicorn9149 14
sugar206 12
gypsy1 9
Gia30 9
newwiccan 7
Woooo Hooooo --- I have briefly passed up Fugie !
{{Better bask in my fleeting moment of glory before he gets back from Mars ...}}
Looks like *somebody* has some catching up to do ..... :rolleyes:
-
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
POUNCE !!
Missed You !
-
:D
BEER-SOUSED PORK WITH POTATO AND LEEKS
2 teaspoons canola oil
2 (8-ounce) bone-in pork chops
2 medium leeks, cleaned and sliced (about 2 cups)
¾ pound red or yellow potatoes, with skin, sliced
2/3 cup dark ale
2 tablespoons cider vinegar
2 tablespoons coarse mustard
Salt and freshly ground pepper
2 scallions, sliced
To brown pork:Heat oil in nonstick skillet over high heat. Brown chops about 2 minutes per side. Remove to plate. Set aside.
To simmer vegetables: Add leeks, potatoes, ale and cider vinegar to skillet. Reduce heat to medium. Cover with a lid. Simmer for 10 minutes or until potatoes are cooked.
To cook pork: Stir in mustard. Return pork chops to skillet. Cover. Simmer for 5 minutes or until chops are cooked through (internal temperature 160 degrees). Add salt and pepper to taste. Sprinkle with scallions. Serve.
:D
Strawberry Clafoutis
• About 1 3/4 c. fresh strawberries (almost 1 pint)
• 3 eggs
• 1/2 c. flour
• 1 1/4 c. 2 percent milk
• 2/3 c. sugar, divided
• 1 tsp. vanilla
• 1/8 tsp. salt
• 1/8 tsp. mace or nutmeg, optional
• Powdered sugar for garnish
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Wash the strawberries, remove the greens and cut the berries in half, top-to-bottom, through the wide side (if they're giant berries, this makes halves that look almost like normal strawberries). Blot dry thoroughly on paper towels.
Lightly butter a 9-inch oven-safe glass pie dish or 7-or 8-cup baking dish. (Don't use a 7-inch pie pan; the recipe is much too big for it.)
In a mixing bowl or -- better -- in a blender, combine the eggs and flour. Add the milk and blend well. Scrape down the sides of the bowl or blender jar, then add 1/3 cup of the sugar, the vanilla, salt and mace. Blend at top speed for a full minute, or beat 5 minutes with a mixer. If the batter looks at all lumpy, strain it through a sieve.
Pour a 1/4-inch layer of batter into the bottom of the prepared dish.
To set the batter a bit, microwave it 1 minute, rotating the dish halfway after 30 seconds. (Skip this step if you are, against advice -- tsk, tsk -- using a metal pie pan.)
Arrange the berries cut side down, in concentric rings if you like (although any pattern might well not be discernible in the finished product). If you can't fit all the berries in one layer, cut a few into smaller pieces to fill any big gaps -- and eat whatever you have left. You don't want a second layer of berries that will stick up above the batter.
Sprinkle on the remaining 1/3 cup of sugar, then gently pour on the rest of the batter. Don't overfill: The batter will rise. If the pie plate is quite full, put it on a cookie sheet before you put it in the oven, to guard against spills.
Press down any floating berries so that all are at least partially covered with batter. Bake until a toothpick or knife inserted in the center comes out clean, about 50 to 60 minutes. (The clafoutis will puff up and look quite done earlier, but it will be very liquid in the center. A little softness might be desirable, but don't take it out after 30 minutes just because it looks done.)
Serve hot -- or warm or at room temperature, when it won't be puffy but will taste fine. Just before serving, sprinkle a little powdered sugar across the top through a sieve. Refrigerate any leftovers. It's good cold, too.
:D
Lucy I'M Home :p
