Thread: Over Inflated Self Esteem

Too Much Praise Can Turn Your Kids Into Narcissistic Jerks, Study Finds
March 9, 2015, 2:59 PM ET
Liz Neporent via Good Morning America

Make your kid believe he’s a “special snowflake” and you risk turning him into a narcissistic jerk, according to a new Dutch study.

Narcissistic individuals think they’re better than everyone else, live for personal success and expect exceptional treatment, explained the authors of the study that appeared in the latest issue of the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. When narcissists experience failure, they’re not pleasant to be around, sometimes even lashing out violently, the study notes

The study evaluated 565 Dutch children ages 7 through 12 for narcissist tendencies such as feelings of superiority and self-satisfaction. The investigators also questioned the children’s parents about how, when and how often they offered praise and other feedback.

The kids whose parents consistently told them they were superior to other children, no matter what, scored higher on measurements for narcissism compared to kids who were given a more realistic view of themselves, the investigators found. That’s because over-praising children can lead them to believe they are special people who deserve special treatment all the time, explained Brad Bushman, a professor of communication and psychology at Ohio State University and one of the study’s authors. "Parents should be warm and loving, but not give their child blanket praise,” Bushman said. “We should not boost self-esteem and hope our children will behave well. Instead, we should praise our children after they do well.”

Dr. Gene Beresin, the executive director of Massachusetts General Hospital’s Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds, said he was skeptical about some of the study’s conclusions. “In the first place, parents are just one influence on a child,” he said. “Teachers, peers, siblings and many others influence how a child feels about themselves and how they behave towards others.”

Beresin said American children are not necessarily the same as Dutch children. But what concerned him most is the age of the children in the study. “I don’t see how you can label kids this young as narcissistic when it’s generally recognized that such personality traits aren’t fully formed until late adolescence, like around age 18,” he said.

Beresin said parents who build a bond of trust with their children by giving them honest feedback mixed with encouragement and support help build a child’s self-esteem and security. Positive feedback, as long as it’s accurate and appropriate, can only help boost a child’s self-worth, he said.

But the investigators said their work builds on a body of research that shows parental “overvaluation” leads to narcissism later in life because children tend to see themselves as the important people in their lives see them. The researchers didn’t rule out the effects of other influences like genetics but said previous work shows that cultivating an unreasonably confident view of self is at the core of narcissism.

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/praise-...ry?id=29506856


Telling kids they're special may foster narcissism
2 hrs ago

Children who are told they are special by their parents are more likely to become narcissists, according to a study Monday that aimed to uncover the origins of extreme selfishness.

The research in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, a peer-reviewed US journal, is based on 565 children in the Netherlands who were surveyed over the course of a year and a half, along with their parents.

Children whose parents described them as "more special than other children" and as kids who "deserve something extra in life" were more likely to score higher on tests of narcissism than peers who were not lauded in this way.

Researchers also measured how much parents overvalued their children by asking how much they agreed with statements like: "My child is a great example for other children to follow."

The children were between seven and 11 when they entered the study. They and their parents were surveyed four different times, with each session six months apart. "Children believe it when their parents tell them that they are more special than others," said study co-author Brad Bushman, professor of communication and psychology at Ohio State University. "That may not be good for them or for society."

Parental warmth and encouragement may be a better strategy than inflating the ego, the study found. Youths who said they were often told they were loved by their parents were more likely to show high self-esteem but not narcissism.

Children with high self-esteem did not see themselves as more special than others, but agreed with statements that they were happy with themselves and liked themselves as they were. "People with high self-esteem think they're as good as others, whereas narcissists think they're better than others," Bushman said.

Lead author Eddie Brummelman, a postdoctoral researcher at the University of Amsterdam in the Netherlands, said parents probably mean well by telling their children they are special, but the study showed this practice fosters narcissism, not high self-esteem. "Rather than raising self-esteem, overvaluing practices may inadvertently raise levels of narcissism," Brummelman said.

Parents are not solely to blame for narcissism in their children, the study authors said. "Like other personality traits, it is partly the result of genetics and the temperamental traits of the children themselves," said the study.

But Bushman, a father of three, said his own research has made him more aware of the words he chooses when he deals with his children. "When I first started doing this research in the 1990s, I used to think my children should be treated like they were extra-special. I'm careful not to do that now," he said.

"It is important to express warmth to your children because that may promote self-esteem, but overvaluing them may promote higher narcissism."

http://www.msn.com/en-us/health/medi...ansRelaxnews11