Coming to terms

[hblueeyes]

I have been through a lot lately. Hubby had a seizure and was hospitalized. He has had many concussions in his past. 10 by the time he was 10 years old. Abuse. You betcha. Then in his early 20 a severe facial fracture, putting it mildly. But after his seizure, he is not the same. His memory is worse than ever and he changes personas, like the flip of a switch. It is very stressful and I am having a hard time adjusting. He gets very emotional, suddenly and he doesn't know why. Doctors cannot figure it out. No signs of stroke or seizure even though his left side is weak and he sometimes cannot hold a cup of coffee and catches himself from falling,most times, as his leg will cave as he walks or stands. They found a brain tumor on the left side of his brain. They say it is benign and they could find no evidence of stroke or seizure. I described it to my son and he said it was classic gran mall.

I was watching Law and Order SVU tonight and I could swear the main character was my hubby. I broke down in tears. Reality smacked me right in the face. Another sad aspect is my hubby earlier said maybe I have dementia and apologized for his behavior. Then soon forgot. This so sucks.

Me

[sunflowers]

so so sorry you are going thru this. I hope you have some family to lean on. Is it possible to get some in home help? or possibly have him go to a rehabilitation home?
Know that we are all here for you.
Giving you a big hug and lots of BBF love!

[pepperpot]

Hblue, are they planning on doing anything about the brain tumor? Perhaps the pressure of the tumor is causing some of his behavior and weakness.

Sweetie ((hblue)) I am so sorry this is so difficult for you. You and your family are in my prayers. Your Big Big Family is here for you. :hug:

[Bliss]

But after his seizure, he is not the same. His memory is worse than ever and he changes personas, like the flip of a switch. It is very stressful and I am having a hard time adjusting. He gets very emotional, suddenly and he doesn't know why. Doctors cannot figure it out. No signs of stroke or seizure even though his left side is weak and he sometimes cannot hold a cup of coffee and catches himself from falling,most times, as his leg will cave as he walks or stands. They found a brain tumor on the left side of his brain. They say it is benign and they could find no evidence of stroke or seizure.

Me

First of all, Sorry you are having a tough time.

If I were you, I'd get a second opinion. I have no idea why the "doctors cannot figure it out" cause a brain tumor can cause all the symptoms you described.

[SLance68]

Sorry you and your DH are having to deal with this stuff. I do agree with Bliss this would be a good time to get a second opinion. Hopefully they will figure this out for you soon.

[sunniekiss]

I would get a second & a third opinion. I am with Bliss on this one.

My Mom has dementia granted she is 87 so it is expected. She lives in the current 10-15 minutes of her current life. She can't remember what day of the week it is so we have a white board on her fridge with the day & date but she forgets about it even though she sees it when she gets milk out every morning. I had to tell her today is Tuesday 4 times this morning. We have had to remove the knobs from her over & cook-top. We have alarms on her doors so if she gets out the alarm sounds. She needs someone with her 24/7. The funny part is I asked her how her & my dad met & she was able to describe it in perfect detail. Go figure.

I wish you luck. You just get through the stress of your Mom's passing & your family's greed grab so this is the last thing you need.

[gmyers]

I'm sorry for what you're going through too. And I'd get a second opinion too. My husband had a mild stroke in March in 2010 and they didn't find out he had it till October 2010 when he went in for carbon dioxide being too high in his body. They ran a catscan and mri in march but didn't see signs of a stroke till October when they did it again and said he had had a stoke earlier. They did the test in October where they hook electrodes to his head and measured his brain waves. He still has problems with his legs giving out and almost falling. Your husband might need a walker if he doesn't have one. My husband uses one now to keep from falling.
He doesn't have changes in mood now but he did in March and September of 2010.

[ilikefree]

Sorry you are both going through this. I agree with the posts above...it seems that maybe the tumor is pressing on something on his brain. But then again, I'm no doctor lol. I will keep you both in my prayers hoping the doctors can find out what's wrong.

[BeanieLuvR]

(((hblueeyes))) I'm really sorry that you are having to go through this. You and your husband are in my prayers. I agree with everyone else about getting a second opinion. We are all here for you. :hug

[jcw]

praying for you

[hblueeyes]

Hubby had an EEG at the hospital and it showed nothing, same as the CT scan and MRI. He will not get a second opinion. I was confused about the neurologists saying his tumor has no effect. Even an ice cube will displace water. I think because of it his synapses are either misfiring or not connecting. I am at my wits end and am concerned he may need to be permanently hospitalized.

Me

[hblueeyes]

I am lost and getting more and more depressed. I am easily agitated and am starting to loose my temper. I am so frustrated. I am trying so hard to keep it all together. It is difficult at best, to let things pass and not respond or just smile and say I understand. I have no outlet. I am trying deep breathing, relaxation and trying to meditate. I go sit outside and smoke. I am smoking so much more. I cannot vent to my sons as this is really hard on them as well. It is hard on hubby when he realizes he is out of sorts. lol. I need to do more for myself so I can be better at caring for my hubby but I just do not know what I can do.

Me

[Eyore]

Hugs to you, I'm sure this is very stressful and hard for you and your family to watch. If he has a brain tumor can't they remove it even though it is benign. Maybe it is pushing or doning something to other things in his brain that is effecting him.
If he is getting dementia the doctors should be able to test his mental status, if he does have dementia there is medications to help with it.
I sure hope you get answers to soon to what is going on.

[pepperpot]

((hblue)) :hug

Do you belong to a church? Perhaps speaking with a priest? Some churches have volunteers in the community that can help you and lend some emotional support for what you are going through. Just a thought. I wish I could come and help you, even if only to come join you on the porch so you can blow off some steam and "unload" for a bit. :hug

[BeanieLuvR]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Is there anyway you could get someone to come stay with your husband for a few hours to give you a break or maybe an adult daycare you could use for a few hours. I know it is not the same as in person but we care about you and you can come here and vent anytime you need to. :hug I'm praying for the both of you.

[hblueeyes]

I do get out to run errands. I either have hubby with me or a son at home. No church or any other affiliations but I think some type of counseling is needed by us both. I like the idea of going in the yard and screaming. Saving that one for later. Yesterday and today have been good. He is doing well and I feel much better as a result of the great words of compassion and encouragement I have found here. Thank you.

Me