Are you old enough?

[buglebe]

to think about that one day one of you will die and leave the other one? If my husband should die before me, I would live alone for the first time in my life. I went from my mom and dad's house to my and my husbands home. The closest I've ever come to living alone was when he was in VN but I had 2 babies so I wasn't completely alone. Financially I will be better off than my husband will be because of life insurance. My husband would have to go into a nursing home if I died before him. This is not a nice thing to think about but it is something to consider to make the transition easier if possible. We have a file for the kids in case we should go together, like a car wreck. Have any of you thought about this?

[baragabrat]

Yes, we've had wills done & made sure we each have life insurance for burial. Trying to get rid of credit card debt. Also trying to maintain good health so it doesn't happen any time soon!! If there is anything that I should be doing, it doesn't matter because we can't afford it!

[Kelsey1224]

Definitely thought about it!

If hubby were to go first (which is highly unlikely as he is in perfect health and I definitely have issues), I would not marry again. We have had a uber-great relationship and my life has been wonderful because of my marriage to Bob. (I had a disasterous first marriage so I really appreciate my life now.) Bob is my sole mate in the truest sense of the word. I don't think it would be disrespectful for me to marry again, but I just don't think I could find what we have with someone else. And, I just see no reason to settle for less.

[dv8grl]

I am so glad that you are thinking about it. So many people refuse to plan for it that they leave so much stress for their family members. My MIL is totally planned for it., she even told me everything because she doesn't think her son/my DH will be able to do it all., but her parents, who are in their mid 80s haven't planned for it at all. We are so afraid that they will pass and the vultures will come out., they have no money, but they have alot of items that are priceless to family members, but knowing the vultures, they'll swoop in and sell everything at a garage sale.
When my father passed, he was totally un-planned and I was the one who had to take care of everything. It was too much! Spending day & night by his side in the hospital, watching him die, then have to clean the house & take care of all the other stuff., people really need to think about what that does to their family.
Both DH & I have life insurance policies. It only cost $60a month for both of us to be covered, plus he has additional benefits thru his work. I think more people don't even think about life insurance because the cost., but they have no problem spending $100+ on cell phone coverage every month., and those are people with children., the ones who REALLY should have life insurance.

[jedmatters]

I have had a will since I had my son 21 years ago. I update it as my life changes.
My husband did not think of a will until his dad died in 2009, and we found no will to help us make decisions.
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My husband wrote out a will, and updated his life insurance to reflect some changes in his life.
We have discussed our final wishes, from life insurance, life support to what we want as a funeral service.

We both have a child that is a minor from another marriage. I have custody of my daughter, and he has custody of his son.
We have signed guardianship papers saying that if I can not make a decision, he can for my daughter, and I can for his son. The papers allow us to continue the education and residence of that child until the other biological parent wants to change that in court.

It is important to discuss thinsg with your partner, and lay out a plan. Because we learned that your mind is so frazzled at the time of death, to make any decisions without panic. This way, it is settled and the grief can begin.

[Kelsey1224]

I realized that I didn't really answer the question which was have you prepared for the death of a spouse and how things will be handled. Hubby and I talk about it a lot...but we haven't done that much. We are always going to do that living trust, durable medical power of attorney, etc.

As for our actual finances, those things are in place. We eliminated our extensive life insurance because our children are married and out of the house and we no longer really need it. But we both have a $25,000 policy to pay for funeral and any medical expenses that might be left over. (I also have quite a large policy through work, but that will end once I retire.) We have sizeable 401(k) plans which name the other as beneficiary with our children as secondary in case we died at the same time. Plus we both have good pension plans which will cover the other when one of us dies.

We really do need to formalize things. But, right now we are trying to take care of the remaining parents (father on hubby's side and step-father on mine). We can't get my FIL to talk about anything. We do have most things in place for my step-father...but he really doesn't have any assets to speak of. We just need to cremate him and spread his ashes at sea when the time comes.

You are so right that things need to be handled and talked about ahead of time. My father died 'in testate' (without a will). He was positive he would outlive my step-mother so he refused to do anything. He died suddenly. Then my step-mother died 6 weeks later. She also didn't have a will. So...everything went to my step-brother...even though most of the assets were actually in my father's name. It wasn't a huge estate ...about $200,000. In the end, it wasn't worth fighting for...and it served my father right because he hated his step-son, but didn't care enough about my brother and I to actually consider 'taking care of us'.

[MsLynn]

Yes..in my line of work i see so much death on a daily basis that you can't help but think about it. even though i'm not married.. I do have life insurance divided up between the kids, I also know that their dads will get a Great social security check on me for them (they'll get more now than i'll get when i retire in 30 more years) lol....I don' t own a home right now, and only have one son old enough to drive, so they all know thats where my car goes.... hoping someday to have alot more to put into a will.

[Army-Mom]

we have life insurance policy on both of us and also have plots for our family to be buried in. we still owe on boat and my car but everything else is paid off..

[BeanieLuvR]

Yes, I've thought of it. We have life insurance on all of through my DH's job and a private policy on him. Our house and cars are paid for and we have no debt. My kids are both at home so neither of us would be alone. We don't have burial plots but that is something I'd like to get in the next few years. I want to be buried in the same cemetery as my parents are. We have talked about coffins, tombstones, and music to be played at the funeral. If I die everything goes to him if he dies everything goes to me and if we die together to the kids.