children fighting

[buglebe]

Since all familiies are different I guess this is a stupid question. What is a normal age for kids to quit physically fighting? I can barely remember mine fighting. I know they stopped at an early age. My sister and I quit before school age. My grandchildren, age 8 and 6 still fight. It's really the 8 yr old. The youngest one mostly just tries to protect himself. I have refused to babysit them together until this problem is solved. Their mother used to let me have just one but now she won't. She says it's too hard for her to have just one. Two are too many for my husband and I when they fight. So right now we are at a stalemate.

[jedmatters]

Lay it out for her...
I can not watch them together until they learn to behave.
I cannot handle the physical fights they are having.

And if you get them together and they fight: tell them.. I will not have you back over until you learn to control yourself

My children never physically fought: I do not condone violence. When they argued too much, I handcuffed them together until they could get along.
I have 2 of my own: 7 years apart, boy is older! Now my step son and my daughter may argue (she is 13, he is 9)... and I do the same thing.
and I can not remember a time I physically fought one of my siblings. My dad would have never accepted it

[Urban Cowgirl]

My sister and I did not get along until we became adults. We had our moments.

[Urban Cowgirl]

whoops just reread..we just bickered pretty much

[buglebe]

This goes way beyond bickering. This is hitting, kicking, and a month ago she bit him. Today she kicked him in the groin. Personally I think I could stop it in a week. But my husband and I would be half dead from it. My daughter is not consistent and that is what it takes.

[BeanieLuvR]

My children never physically fought but they are 7 years apart. It sounds to me like your daughter's excuse is a cop out. How could it possibly be harder for her to have one than two? I think she is just trying to wear you down by not letting you have one so you'll take both of them. I wouldn't do it if it were me. It sounds to me like the older one might need some counseling. If she is getting more violent the littler one might get hurt bad one day. Have you tried telling your daughter she needs to stop the fighting?

[buglebe]

I agree with everything you said. Yes we have discussed counseling but it's been a while so I think I will bring it up again.

[buttrfli]

My girls never really physically fought. There might have been a smack or hair pull when they were toddlers, but they learned real early to never hit.

How is it harder to have just one? If they fight like that, it seems like it would be harder to have them both.

[buglebe]

To me it is harder to have 2, to my daughter it is harder to have just one because they entertain each other. They can get up and fix their own breakfast while she sleeps in. They do play together and entertain each other quite well. They don't fight all the time. I would think she would enjoy having some one on one time but she doesnt.

[cathych]

my kids were almost 4 years apart, and they did not physically fight, I would not allow it. Whenever one hit the other, the hitter got punished real quick, no matter what the argument was about. It gets on my nerves to see kids hitting one another. I think that it turns kids into bullies.