Vent about my DS's math teacher

[dinosmom]

My DS has a learning disability but he has always excelled in math. He goes to a tutor and they do cover math as well. This yr he is in 6th grade and now they change classes/teachers for every subject. He has said that his math teacher "hates" him. That he felt like she singles him out etc. I also got this impression from her during parent teacher conferences in the beginning of the yr. She seemed to pick on him and tell me that he didnt know his basic math-a total lie. When I told her that he gets tutored in all subjects including math she changed her tune a bit. I didnt want to dwell on it so I told her that I would be checking all homework with my DS and have the tutor do more math facts etc. She never called with updates. Honestly, I never saw any issues. He seems to get it (a whole lot better than I do) and does his homework with very little help and when I check it, its usually correct etc. The tutor said she couldnt understand what the teacher was talking about and even tried to contact her for clarification but the teacher never got back to her. This teacher does not allow them to bring home the homework after it gets graded nor the TESTS they take-she makes them keep it at school in a binder and the binder does not come home! So I cannot see any graded papers but my DS said that he fails a lot of the tests-but he doesnt think that its right. Our school also has an online-real time grade list but this teacher doesnt participate. Today was the last straw for me when she emailed me to tell me that my DS was going to be getting and F in class when report cards come home next week. I called her back but she was gone already. On Monday I will set up a meeting with her and the principal! This is ridiculous. I am not the type of parent who always sides with my child. I try and give the teachers the benefit of the doubt but this teacher is nuts!

[tunisia]

so sorry. what I don't understand is she knew he was seeing a tutor. why would she wait until grades are about due to tell you he is getting an 'f'. why not contact you before if the grades were bad and also let you know what areas of math he was needing improvement on.

I'm so old-school that I can't even imagine not being able to bring home tests and homework. Part of the joy of getting a good grade on a test was bring it home running off the bus with paper in hand to show my parents!

[Anniston]

Sorry, very sorry to hear that. I can sense your frustration, and I feel bad that you have to deal with that.

It is so hard to have an issue with a teacher because we would like to think that they always have our child's best interest at heart. But, sadly, some don't. I really hope your meeting goes well. Please let us know.

[tammy77]

Im so sorry this is happening to your son.It seems hard to believe that he should be getting an F if you and his tutor think that your son knows what hes doing.
What I dont get is why doesnt she let the kids take homework and tests home?Is she hiding something?When you request this meeting on Monday I would demand to see this binder and go over everything in there.If you have to,ask the tutor,principal or other math teacher to go over everything for you and see if your son does deserve a F.Let us how how the meeting goes.

[Bahet]

Wow, just wow. I hope all goes well for you. That teacher sounds like a major jerk. I'd also demand to see the binder and demand that she either participate in the online grade system or allow him to bring the binder home. You can't help your child do better if you don't know they are doing poorly.

[dinosmom]

Thanks everyone. My DS was really upset last night and later he told me that on the homework and tests she has been marking the problems wrong when they are right!!!! When he has brought this to her attention she says that he must show his work and even told him once that he was "cheating". (my DS never mentioned this to me before grrr) Well my DS does math in his head. I understand the teacher wanting the children to show how they get to their conclusions but how to they show it when it basically just comes to him? I guess I will find out more on Monday!

[freeby4me]

Thanks everyone. My DS was really upset last night and later he told me that on the homework and tests she has been marking the problems wrong when they are right!!!! When he has brought this to her attention she says that he must show his work and even told him once that he was "cheating". (my DS never mentioned this to me before grrr) Well my DS does math in his head. I understand the teacher wanting the children to show how they get to their conclusions but how to they show it when it basically just comes to him? I guess I will find out more on Monday!

That would always frustrate me but yes, they do need to show the work to show they know how they got to the answer. They may be doing it wrong and yet somehow getting the right answer but the teacher cant correct it if they cant see it.
Definitely bring up to the principle that this teacher needs to participate with the online grading system. You need a way to keep up on the grades and address problems with the teacher when theres still time to bring the grade up.
Let us know what happens on Monday.

[SLance68]

This "teacher" sounds more like a control freak than a teacher. She is not participating in the online system because it would undermine her control. I have never heard of not sending home graded papers ever.

[stresseater]

Thanks everyone. My DS was really upset last night and later he told me that on the homework and tests she has been marking the problems wrong when they are right!!!! When he has brought this to her attention she says that he must show his work and even told him once that he was "cheating". (my DS never mentioned this to me before grrr) Well my DS does math in his head. I understand the teacher wanting the children to show how they get to their conclusions but how to they show it when it basically just comes to him? I guess I will find out more on Monday!
This use to drive me up the wall. I am one who can look at the problem and a lot of the time I just know the answer. So I too didn't show my work either.

This "teacher" sounds more like a control freak than a teacher. She is not participating in the online system because it would undermine her control. I have never heard of not sending home graded papers ever.

I have, when we were in about the 5th grade I the school put together portfolios of our work so that whole year we didn't get papers sent home. Not sure what the portfolio was for but it had something to do with the fed. Govt. cause they sent the portfolios off to DC.I wouldn't go in all guns blazing. There may be more to this than you son has told you.

[queenangie]

If your son has a tutor and a learning disability, doesn't he have an individualized, specialized teaching plan for all classes?
Would seem that she is not following the plan.
While at school, also take a look at those tests, and papers she keeps.
If son has said he has the right answers, he needs to have those tests
re-examined for a potentially higher grade.

You are your son's school advocate! Keep pushing ahead.

[Anniston]

This "teacher" sounds more like a control freak than a teacher. She is not participating in the online system because it would undermine her control. I have never heard of not sending home graded papers ever.

My son's school does not send home papers either. He is in fifth and he has never brought home things. We do get them at the end of the year. And get to take them home for the night after each of our three parent teacher conferences.

It was explained to me that the teachers like to be able to look at the actual work to gauge progress. That makes sense. But I sure would love a more regular look at his work.

And I am not explaining all this to justify the teacher in question here. She is beyond justification, in my opinion. I am just addressing the fact that some schools don't send work home.

[DeepDish1]

thats bad, she should have had a talk with you earlier instead of just contacting you after grading the test! i feel for you !

[kelblend]

I think a principal meeting is justified. She should have contacted you when his grade started slipping. She knew you were a parent who was participating with homework and that you made it clear you were interested. I think I would demand all homework and tests. It would be nice if another unbiased teacher could look through the papers and see if anything is off about her grading. Just read the part about showing work. Now if the papers had been going home, you would have been able to see that was the problem. She should have noted his papers. Also, I agree that the teacher needs to participate in the online grades. You could have helped him find a way to show his work all this time. She just needs to realize that SHE needs to be more in touch with the parents.


My daughter has one teacher in hs that won't give back any papers. She's argued with him to no avail. She asked for her graded homework back to study for a test and he refused. Just weird.

[dinosmom]

UPDATE: Met with both the vice principal and the teacher today. UGH! The teacher will not budge on her rule about showing the work-which I can totally understand HOWEVER, they teach a different math (I forgot what its called but basically "new" math) where you go a round about way to find the answers. My DS HATES it because he has always said why do we have to go thru all of this to get the answer that is RIGHT THERE? He gets really frustrated with the way they make them do it. But when I got home I explained that it was very important for him to follow the rules and show the work.

She also will not send the graded papers home. She said that its her policy that they stay in the classroom and they go over the papers on a daily basis. She can also have the children track their progress that way. Okay fine.

She has agreed to start using the online grade thingy. She told the vice principal that she just does not have time for it but he told her that he wasnt even aware that she wasnt using it and that its manditory.

She said he gets just about every problem correct but because he doesnt show any of the work, the F stands. He also forgets homework-either at home or in his locker (something that is an issue for him and we are working on) and any late work is an automatic F, even if it gets turned later that day!

In regards to an IEP...its a LOOOOONG story but the school refused to set up a formal IEP for him because, while they acknowledge that there is something wrong, none of the tests showed exactly what that issue was. Without a diagnosis, they cannot help. I even had him independantly tested for everything in the book including visual and audio impairment. I pay for the tutor out of my own pocket.

[pepperpot]

I don't understand how schools complain when parents do not support and follow up and help with the work their child is doing. If she does not let him take home the papers, how do you know the area that he needs help in to reinforce it at home? Makes no sense at all.

Sorry you got the teacher with the stick up her butt.:(

[kelblend]

How bout sending the papers home after they go over them in class? I just don't agree with them not bringing home anything.

[dcut4]

Boy he sounds just like my son. Can do math in his head, Forgets to do/turn in homework, very unorganized.....many of the exact things you have mentioned. It all got worse when he went to Jr. High and had to change classes every hour. Long story short, my daughter who is a teacher started to put some pieces together and he was recently diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. I really hope things turn around for you and him.

[jenwitchey]

My son also has Asperger's Syndrome and I agree that alot of the things you mentioned are common issues. My son was diagnosed at age 4 (he is 14 now) by the school psychologist free of charge, this is a standing diagnosis which has made him eligible for an IEP and SSI for the rest of his life. I would check and see if there is a psychologist or even a counselor at the school who may be able to help with your situation, I have found them to be more supportive and helpful than the principal in most cases. I hope it all works out for both of you .

[dinosmom]

Well he was seen by both the school psychologist and an independant one and neither felt it was Asperger's, or any other issue. When he was a toddler I had also inquired with his peditrician about Aspergers (among other things). They all have said that he is too social of a child to have Aspergers.

He might have Marfan syndrome, my ex bil was recently diagnosed with this and learning disabilities are one of the "symptoms" but there is no test for this. I think the LD associated with Marfan is because of problems with the eyes and that has all been ruled out. We have to meet with a genetics counselor and they wont see him until he is 16. He doesnt have a lot of the aliments or markers associated with Marfan but he is very tall and lanky and his limbs and feet and toes are quite long.

[sunniekiss]

Sorry to hear about your ds & his math teacher. unfortunately showing the work is a huge thing for some teachers. Hope you can get things worked out for your poor baby.

All I can say is wheew....I am so happy to be over that part of my life. It is so much easier when they are away at college. Did I mention how happy I am that he graduates in 2 more months???

He will work through this, trust me. My ds was/is dyslexic, did I spell that right....sorry just a very long day at work...anyway honestly my ds ran out of appendeges to count with but he got through & graduated. He took a year off & went to college. What we found out about him in college, yep the "wonderful" school district never figured out he was not a linear learner but a creative learner. Once we learned that 1+1 will never equal 2 in his brain with traditional teaching it was like a light was switched on.
He received an associate degree in graphic design & will have a B.A. in web design. Every semester he is on the Dean's List.

HUGS