Did Ya'll know I have ESP. I didn't?

[gmyers]

I can reach out and talk to people without picking up the phone. I'm being sarcastic. Now if I could just get it to work so I can win the lottery I'd be happy lol. I guess it only works certain times though so I'm out of luck. Anyway gotta laugh to keep from screaming so I choose to laugh about it.

[BeanieLuvR]

I think your family is worse than mine. :hug

[gmyers]

I don't know whats wrong with them. Even when I stay away from them the rumors keep flying.

[mosdata1]

Try to stay further away - if you can still hear the rumors, you're too close.

Whoever is bringing these stories back to you, tell them you don't want to hear them. This is one of the few ways to keep your sanity.

I'm so sorry your family still hasn't changed, but look at it this way, you are changing - for the better - you are getting rid of the negativity in your life.

[SLance68]

Have you considered changing your phone number so you don't have to listen to them? Or at least get caller id and voice mail, so when they start their crap you just hit delete.

[gmyers]

I've got caller ID now and I've been using it. Last night I thought I'd talk to my sister but the crap started again so I'm back to using caller ID again.

[msmom79]

I think were long lost sisters.man my family can and does this kinda chit all the time.man it sucks i know,cause i live this every day also
my best advice to you is to change your number and dont give it out,yes thats hard,but it can be done,if need be give your cell number to people,cause then you know who is and isnt calling,just by looking
hugs to you that things get better fast.

[gmyers]

Thank God for caller ID. Now I wont have to hear the negative things that are said anymore. Whoever invented it has my gratitude. Don't you just love it when someone calls you and tells you negative stuff all the time and then has the nerve to get upset with you when you have the nerve to say something back to them. Well she can just get over it because the days of me listening to her bs and getting upset and crying over it are over. She's done nothing but tell me one thing after another about what everyone in the family thinks of me. I've had enough. I can't call and talk to her without it turning negative every time. Me and my husband have had enough of it. If it doesn't change then I'm going to have one less person in my life. Because its taken me a long time but I've reached my limit on her negativity all the time. Thats all it is when I talk to her. Its never what are ya'll doing. Its this person said this or that person said that about me and my husband. If she dislikes us so much then why call anymore. Her husband can't figure out why we can't get along anymore. Thats why. Thats all I've heard since before my sister died and its got a lot worse the last six or seven years.

[BeanieLuvR]

I wonder if the other people are really saying things about you or if she is just saying they are. She might just be trying to stir up trouble. She could be telling them that you are saying stuff about them too. She sounds spiteful and I think you'd be better off not talking to her.

[gmyers]

I wonder the same thing. If she's telling me all this stuff they're supposed to be saying then what is she telling them I'm saying. I know she has some because she's told me some things she's told them. But one day people will see whats happening.

[Anig2u]

You should tell her if you wanted to hear a soap opera you would tune into them on your own damn TV...LOL. I can't stand it when family talks about each other. My family does it, but in a caring concerned way not a rub it in your face way. My Mother would never let us kids fight with each other and if we did we were made to make up. Even now with us all adults, none of us say a bad word about each other...and if we do we make it a joke so it don't sound so bad...LOL. We do have one brother that likes to bad mouth, and I have kinda written him out of my life. I don't need that crap in my life, sometimes you have to let a family member go to avoid that sort of thing. I don't miss my brother just because I couldn't stand the way he acted. unfortunately you can't control or change the way other people act.

[gmyers]

Don't worry I'm definitely using caller ID from now on. Theres no way she'll be able to tell me anything else. And I bet its going to kill her to not be able to run and tell me every negative thing she can come up with. Its going to be so much nicer not hearing every day how much the family dislikes me and my husband. No more soap opera for me. I'll stick to the ones on tv.

Since I wont answer the phone she sent me a email trying to start something.. But thats ok I'm not answering it either. I guess she already misses the drama. Ya'll are right she keeps sending me emails trying to start a fight but its not going to work. I'm not taking the bait.

[mosdata1]

Good for you!

It will get easier as you go along. I'm sure you can block her email address too, if you want.

If you don't want to do that - create a folder, just for her emails & put them in there without opening them. If, for your peace of mind, you think that would be too great a temptation - just block/delete them.

[gmyers]

I'm definitely not going to respond to them. Its just childishness and I'm tired of it. Let her get her drama fix somewhere else for a change.

[Vanilla]

I am glad your are finally reacting in a positive way to all this BS. You have been posting about this for some time. You cannot change people, you can only change how you react to them. After all this time I doubt the person who is spreading the lies will EVER change.

One of my family members kvetchs frequently about another family member who is as manipulative as them come. I don't mind listening to "all the things I did for her and she can't be bothered to bring the kids for me to meet them" (yeah, you read that right) but, it upsets me because I cannot do a thing to change the situation. I empathize with her and feel when the opportunity arises she needs to address the situation with the offending beeyatch. Long story short, a person who knows the players involved told me recently that I am the only one who is really upset over this and I need to stop discussing the matter. She said she hates to see me have any heartache concerning this. The offending party has no intention of changing.

[msmom79]

heres an idea for you,the next time she calls you,record her words,then after you are done talking,straight up tell her you recorded her,so that you have proof as to what she is doing.
you can buy a mini recorder @wal-mart for about 29 bucks

[n2space]

Maybe if you talk it out things can be better. It's hard to let go of family sometimes even when things like this happen, I'm struggling with it too. It's hard to walk away and not communicate because in the long run, family is very important.

[gmyers]

Maybe if you talk it out things can be better. It's hard to let go of family sometimes even when things like this happen, I'm struggling with it too. It's hard to walk away and not communicate because in the long run, family is very important.

I've tried over and over for the last six years. Every time I talk to someone one sister tells me they tell her I said something I didn't. Every time I turn around she's telling me someones accusing me of something. She's made me afraid to talk to different people in the family by telling me all kinds of things she claims they're saying. I really wish I could find out if they're saying the things she says or if she's making it up. Its hard to believe five different people are doing and saying the things she says they are. She's the one that told me my oldest sister said she wished it was me that died instead of the sister that died. Thats the kind of stuff she's been telling me for six years or more. Every time I break down and go back to talking to this one sister. The second time we talk she starts telling me things she says people are saying about us again and we end up argueing again. I've asked her to stop but she wont.

[n2space]

If she's been doing this for years, do you think she has an issue with you that she's been having for years? Is she doing this to anyone else in the family?

[gmyers]

I don't know about other people but I know she's been doing it to me for years. That stuff can really wear you down mentally after a while and make you have doubts about everybody.

[n2space]

People who do this sort of thing continuously for years usually are angry at the person they're doing it to for some reason. It sounds like she's very angry. Have you ever asked her if she has anything against you or if maybe something was done or said in the past that she is upset about?

[Vanilla]

n2space, this poor girl has been trying so hard to reason with the lying sack o'**** for years to no avail. Nobody knows what buttons to push better than family. I firmly believe that some people derive great enjoyment seeing others upset over the things they say. Only psychoanalysis can get to the bottom of the matter. In the meantime, don't give them what they want. Don't react.

[n2space]

Has it gotten any better for you gmyers? I hope so.

[gmyers]

Its the same but I'm ok with it.

[n2space]

Have you had anymore problems?

[gmyers]

No I haven't everythings good with me. I'm staying off the phone.

[n2space]

You seem to have a lot of friends here who care for you.

[mosdata1]

No I haven't everythings good with me. I'm staying off the phone.

Stay strong! This is your best course of action.

[n2space]

My family is doing better since we talked this weekend. I feel better about it. Problems usually have a way of working out with time and communication.

[DreamWarrior]

But one day people will see whats happening.

Yes, they may see, but if they are anything like my ex's family, it wont matter. They have already formed their own opinions about you and no matter how much you have changed/tried to better yourself, they will STILL have the same opinion about you. I live in the same town as my ex and his family, I stay to myself, and they still think I'm the whore of babylon... so whatever, that is THEIR cross to bear NOT mine. I show them the respect that I would want to be shown, so I know when MY time comes, I'm covered.

[n2space]

Be strong, things will be better for you in time.

[gmyers]

Everythings good here. I'm going out and enjoying myself. We're going to the Flea Market today and then out to eat later. I'm finding that now that I don't stay stressed out all the time I'm enjoying my life more with my husband. I hope things get better for you and your family too.

[n2space]

The time apart may change things.

[mosdata1]

Everythings good here. I'm going out and enjoying myself. We're going to the Flea Market today and then out to eat later. I'm finding that now that I don't stay stressed out all the time I'm enjoying my life more with my husband. I hope things get better for you and your family too.

Great, you will see just how much more fulfilling & enjoyable your life is without all the nonsense in it.

have a great time!

[n2space]

Please think about doing everything you can to work things out with your family. I hope you can. You certainly don't have to take the abuse, but since my cousin had the heart attack, it made me think how important family is. I was so angry with her but when I saw her in the hospital tonight, she looked so weak my heart went out to her. I don't like what she did to us, but it made me remember the closeness we had when we were kids. I want that back. You certainly have had a lot of problems with your family and you have your reasons for your feelings, I'm just saying family is so important, seeing her tonight made me realize that. Good luck to you.

[mosdata1]

While that is true, sometimes it takes the other person being on their 'death bed' for them to change. Until then it is usually best to avoid them.

DH has a cousin, who moved here to be close to family (insert US, the suckers of the family - or so he thought). After dealing with his lies, and using us for about 2 years, it all came to a head when he over-played his hand & went all out with the lies.

We were done at that moment. He is very sick, so when he needs help we are there, but when he is well, he is on his own. DH was the most vocal with his family. He didn't directly address his cousin's lies, but told the matriarch of the family that she should know him better than that & he doesn't have to justify himself to anyone in the family. He knows that he did the right thing and would do the same. If they choose to believe the other cousin, that's fine with him.

I have to say, life has been a lot more peaceful without his drama in our lives.

Yes, I take him to the hospital when he needs to go. We call him every so often to make sure he's okay & when he's in the hospital, we visit him & take care of his house.

Minimal involvement is best for us. I have to add though, if he continued to act like an idiot & continued trying to be a disruptive force in our world, I would probably NOT be taking him to the hospital & he would be on his own. I'm sure he knows this & this makes him watch how much crap he tries to stir up.

[n2space]

I agree with you, I guess it's hard for me to let go even though she wasn't very nice lately. I'm so close to the rest of my family and I want to try to work things out. But, she has to want it also. Sometimes I think she does, she just has too much pride.

[gmyers]

I would be glad to work things out with her if she would just listen to me when I try to tell her that the stuff she tells me really hurts my feelings. But every time I tell her she gets mad and hangs up on me. That tells me that she doesn't care if it hurts me or not. She just wants to keep telling me stuff. I don't see any way of ever working it out if she feels this way because I'm tired of hearing the negative stuff about me all the time. I'm hurt and angry and thats why I say and do what I do. When you tell someone over and over it hurts your feelings and they do it anyway it tells me they don't care about my feelings anymore or they would stop. Thats why we can't work it out.

[n2space]

I wish you luck with your sister. I lost my cousin today. We were like sisters once and it's sad we didn't get to talk to make things right, so I hope your relationship changes for the better for you. Do you have another sister you can bond with who may be able to help you two work things out? I only have brothers, so I guess that's why I was so close to my cousin. She was like my sister when we grew up together.

[n2space]

I hope you can work things out. I've gotten closer to my uncle since my cousin passed away.

[n2space]

gmyers, how is it going with you and your family? We haven't heard if it's better or not. So many people care about you. Good Luck.

[Anig2u]

gmyers, how is it going with you and your family? We haven't heard if it's better or not. So many people care about you. Good luck.

You probably don't know this, but she has been posting problems with her sister for a loooooooooooong time. Her sister is not going to change just like that. She has tried and tried and tried to have a healthy relationship with her sister but it does not work. So for her own sanity and well being she has decided to let go. I don't blame her in the least. I have had to do the same with one of my family members. Even though they are family, if they are driving you nuts beyond what you need in your life, it is sometimes best to put a stop to it. She seems much happier and content with life since she made that decision.