View Full Version : always there never here!
Licchl05
09-05-2009, 03:00 PM
I'm so over my friends always wanting me to accommodate them and go to their house, or go to a bar that's close to their house but they never come to my house! their exuse is 'you live too far away'...UMMM DID YA REALIZE I LIVE AS FAR FROM YOUR HOUSE AS YOU LIVE FROM MINE??? why do i always have to use my gas and effort in order to hang out with you? oh you have 2 kids? guess what... I DO TOO! My one friend doesn't even have a yard nor a porch for the kids to even go outside and play! i'm so sick of meeting up on their terms, and when i tell them nah i dont feel like going over they have the audacity to get mad at me...GRRRRRRRRRR!
pepperpot
09-05-2009, 03:10 PM
Try to get them to take turns. Tell them, "I went over your house last time, it's your turn to come over here." :agree Good luck.
SLance68
09-05-2009, 04:56 PM
Try to get them to take turns. Tell them, "I went over your house last time, it's your turn to come over here." :agree Good luck.
Great idea but it never works. I have the same problem except I don't have the kids part to deal with - theirs are grown and I have none but it is always
"why don't you come over?" Well now it is "why don't you ever come over any more?" After they moved 35 miles away.
gmyers
09-05-2009, 05:19 PM
I know how you feel. But mines family not friends. I drive 4 and a half hours to see them but they never come see me its too far. I've been married over twenty-seven years and out of four sisters and three brothers only one has come to my house in all that time. And then they have the nerve to say I don't associate with the family enough. I make a lot more effort than they do. I think its sad in all those years only one has come to my house.
tunisia
09-05-2009, 08:34 PM
all our relatives live no less than 1 hour away. I remember one time driving 3 hours to a family wedding, spending the night in a hotel, and as we were about to depart, one of our relatives asked with a very snippity connotation, "why don't you ever come down to visit? Try to get lost some time and come down?" to which I replied....."the roads go both ways." total silence. haha Mind you, all my life we would go visit them and only on rare occasions such as h.s. graduations, did they ever come up to our house.
pepperpot
09-05-2009, 08:40 PM
I know how you feel. But mines family not friends. I drive 4 and a half hours to see them but they never come see me its too far. I've been married over twenty-seven years and out of four sisters and three brothers only one has come to my house in all that time. And then they have the nerve to say I don't associate with the family enough. I make a lot more effort than they do. I think its sad in all those years only one has come to my house.
That is sad.....:(...their loss...:hug
lisarae
09-05-2009, 08:49 PM
So sorry..I know where you are coming from. I live about 30 minutes... yes 30 minutes away from my family and friends. In 10 years that my husband I were there. My best friend only come to my house MAYBE 3-4 times. My parents 10-15 times. And thats because I had 2 babies in that time. They would say, you live to far away. Yet they wouldnt even think twice about running the roads all day long. My MIL who lived 6 minutes away only come to our house maybe 2 times. But she wanted us at her house, and would get mad if we didn't stop in once a week. Saying she never gets to see the kids... WELL stop by and see them sometime!!!
Licchl05
09-05-2009, 09:23 PM
okay i feel a bit better knowing i'm not the only one who's put in the same position, thank you gals!!
fleabones3
09-06-2009, 10:18 AM
I have a friend like that. we live 2 minutes ( yes thats 2 minutes) from each other, yet I am always having to go to her house. She has come over here a FEW times, yet she always wants me to go to her house. Her excuse is I have so many kids. ( I have 5 and she has 2) yet she spends more time talking to her son ( he is 13) and arguing with him or constantly checking to see what he is doing, etc ... which is usually nothing. But every time I am on the phone with her or over there, he decides to get up her butt and interrupt us over stuff like what happened on a game or something. I finally told her that her house is louder than mine and if she cant start coming to my house I was going to cut back on how much time I was at hers. I like being in my own home as much as she does
Qtxann315
09-06-2009, 10:23 AM
I know how you feel. I USED to have a friend similar to your situation. They lived about 15 minutes away and we always had to go to their house and do things around their house. My family and I thought if they do not make the effort to come to our house then they do not respect me enough, eventually we began to lose touch. I hardly talk to them anymore. A relationship cannot be one way.
Urban Cowgirl
09-06-2009, 03:36 PM
I have a friend like that. we live 2 minutes ( yes thats 2 minutes) from each other, yet I am always having to go to her house. She has come over here a FEW times, yet she always wants me to go to her house. Her excuse is I have so many kids. ( I have 5 and she has 2) yet she spends more time talking to her son ( he is 13) and arguing with him or constantly checking to see what he is doing, etc ... which is usually nothing. But every time I am on the phone with her or over there, he decides to get up her butt and interrupt us over stuff like what happened on a game or something. I finally told her that her house is louder than mine and if she cant start coming to my house I was going to cut back on how much time I was at hers. I like being in my own home as much as she does
Ok you have five....therefore she should be willing to come to you, the more kids you have the more of a hassle it is to go out.
nightrider127
09-07-2009, 03:16 PM
My family in Kentucky is the same way. They expect us to come see them but some of them have never been up here to see us.
They are in for a surprise next vacation time. I don't think we are going to head south. And the very first one who asks why we don't come to see them, I am going to tell them that I75 runs both ways.
BeanieLuvR
09-07-2009, 03:47 PM
I know how you feel. But mines family not friends. I drive 4 and a half hours to see them but they never come see me its too far. I've been married over twenty-seven years and out of four sisters and three brothers only one has come to my house in all that time. And then they have the nerve to say I don't associate with the family enough. I make a lot more effort than they do. I think its sad in all those years only one has come to my house.
What a shame. :hug They are the ones missing out.
dinosmom
09-07-2009, 03:58 PM
I have the same problem only its with my family. Its only like maybe 30-40 mins away but I am ALWAYS expected to come to their house and NO ONE EVER comes to mine. Last week was my cousins DD's bday and I was expected to be there on a weeknight. Yet not one single person from my family is coming to my DS's bday on Saturday. Every excuse in the book. I have relatives that have NEVER been to my house and I have been here 8 yrs or so. Yet I dont DARE not show up to their house!
nightrider127
09-07-2009, 04:45 PM
I have the same problem only its with my family. Its only like maybe 30-40 mins away but I am ALWAYS expected to come to their house and NO ONE EVER comes to mine. Last week was my cousins DD's bday and I was expected to be there on a weeknight. Yet not one single person from my family is coming to my DS's bday on Saturday. Every excuse in the book. I have relatives that have NEVER been to my house and I have been here 8 yrs or so. Yet I dont DARE not show up to their house!
If family refused to attend my DS's birthday, they would get paid back the very next time they expected me to show up for a party or any other gathering. I draw the line at "snubbing" my son.
Sorry, guess I am a bytch today.
MistyWolf
09-07-2009, 06:07 PM
I'd make friends closer to home. Friendship is a two way street and not all about me-me-me. I have some friends like that, and I simply don't talk to them very often.
CAMSmama
09-09-2009, 08:04 AM
I kind of have the opposite problem with one of my friends, she always wants to come over, but rarely has us over there, Her youngest is always tearing things up and it gets on my nerves sooo badly!
krisharry
09-09-2009, 08:43 AM
I kind of have the opposite problem with friends (family is far away). It seems that we are always inviting people here or it is suggested we have people over here but the invitations for us to go elsewhere never seem to happen esp. with DH's friends. I put a stop to it on Labor Day when after having people over Fri eve, Sat eve, Sun eve, and being at the lake and amusement park during the days,I was worn out. I announced not so casually to DH's friends Sun night that I would not be cooking, grilling, serving anything Monday. Guess what? No one popped in, LOL.
krisharry
09-09-2009, 08:45 AM
Got so wrapped up in my own vent, I forgot to address yours. LOL I would just flat out tell your friend that you would prefer her to come to your house. Ya know, hey why don't you come over tomorrow eve. You can say, I would really love that, but it's been sooo long since you've been to my house, I really feel it's my turn.
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