Sorry just another long vent

[keoka3]

I talked to my son and ask if I could take his DD out to eat, he said that was fine, he was in town and said he would go home and get her ready.
As soon as he got home he calls and tells me no, that his gf is taking the kids to the park, it is not like they go to the park 2-3 times a week.
The place I was going to take dd to eat was 30 miles out of town and her favorite place.
I am so bummed out about this, he made his decision to let her go, but his gf decision rules over his. Why does he do this, why can't he tell her no that he
has made a decision.

She went out of town for a week and he made his own decisions, ones that she would not of approved of for sure.
She has to look at his phone and his messages on his phone, she goes into the phone bill online to make sure none has been deleted.
She has to read his email, he has no life no trust, how can he let someone just run his life. Oh and if he calls me he is not usually at home but if he calls me with her there the speaker has to be on so she can hear.

He told me if I would quit running around with his ex he could find another gf that with me running around with her that he couldn't explain to another gf his mom was running aound with his ex that it wasn't normal.

His ex lets my mom and my 88 yr old aunt see their kids, neither one of them are in good health.
She got me a phone when he had mine cut off.
If she has the kids and they are going somewhere she calls and ask me to go
She takes me out to eat.
I got to go to the kids birthday party, I am not allowed at my son's house, so I miss getting to see the kids open their presents and I miss seeing their faces at Christmas when they see what Santa has brought.

So me and the ex are not running around or talking as much hoping he will find another gf. he said there was 2 reason he was staying with this gf one was cause I was running around with his ex.

[gmyers]

I don't understand why when someone is dating someone or they marry someone they let them keep them or their kids away from their family. My brother did that and lately he told his wife what more do you want. I gave up my family and stopped seeing my dad for you. He told her that after our dad died. I hope your son will wake up and see she's importtant to him but you and his family are too. He shouldn't have to choose between you.

[hotwheelstx]

I'm going thru the same thing with my brother. It's just gotten worse since our mother passed away in 06. I don't have any advice all I can really say is you live and learn. When his time comes and my brother is looking for me and I'm not there.....he'll see how it feels. I'm really not like that but I'm sure his "family" would be happy if I was.

I'm sorry about your day. I know it was something you were looking forward to. It's happened all to many times to me w/nieces and nephews. Finally they're all getting to an age where they voice their opinions....even if stepmom and real mom don't like it. Hopefully your son will see the light at the end of the tunnel soon and realize that these times can NEVER be brought back by you and the children won't be "little" forever. We all grow up and start lives and there are some in our family that we wished we could of spent more time with when younger.

As for the ex being in the picture....you as your own person can pick and choose your friends. I'm sure there were plenty of friends that I had while growing up my mom didn't care for. She never said a word...just let nature take it's course til I saw the "light".

When my mom died the youngest grandchild was a little over a year old. She doesn't remember her at all. I know that my sil doesn't tell her anything about her, show her photo's, talk about her. The other 2 grandchildren were around 3 when she died. They remember some things about her. All of which I try to keep vivid in their memories when I can. I show pictures of them together, talk about her, tell them about her when I see them, how proud she'd be the way they've turned out, the pride she would have seeing them reading, going to school, learning to write, getting friends and having their own personalities. One of them acts just like my mother in EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD. Walks, talks, looks just like her. It's kind of spooky sometimes in a very nice way.

(((((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))

[iluvmybaby]

Sounds like she is jealous of the relationship you have with your DD. That is so sad that she is keeping your DD from having a relationship with you. My grandmother was my second mother and I could not imagine her not being in my life.

[keoka3]

I raised my son's DD from the time she was 7 mths old till she was 5, then me and her moved in with my son and her mom they had a baby I took care of till he was 14 mths old. They were married when dd was born but got divorced and my son got her, then they got back together and remarried, by that time dd didn't want to live with them. She has told her other grandmother that she wants to still live with me.

[fleabones3]

Sounds like you might need to check into grandparent rights.

[Shann]

I'm sorry but your son needs a good thump on the head. What does you hanging out w/ his ex so you can see the children have to do w/ his relationship and finding another gf? Unfortunately your son had kids w/ the ex so anyone he dates will be in your life and his & any new gf's lives, that's what happens when kids are involved. And for that witch to deny you rights to see your grandchildren is ridiculous. I agree w/ fleabones as a grandparent you have rights, you may have to go through court to get them, but you shouldn't be denied unless there is a damn good reason. (like sex offender, etc)

I don't understand how anyone can live w/ their "so" going through their phone and personal items. If you cannot have a relationship built on trust there is no relationship to begin with. I wish you the best of luck Keoka

[ElleGee]

My Ex's wife tried to pull that crap with me and my dd, saying that she and Sam were doing this or that instead and I did not put up with it. I told her if she didn't want my size 6 up her @ss she had better stop trying to pull stunts. And I warned the ex that he had better hire his lawyer back if she kept trying to usurp plans I am making with MY dd.

I don't have any advice but I kinda know how you feel :hug

[Anniston]

I am so sorry you are going through this. As a woman with a son who does not have a living grandmother, I get mad on your behalf to hear that. Hugs to you.

[momfromTN]

I hate that you are going through this and please, I am not saying that you are a bad person or bad grandparent. I am sure your son's GF is being a turd.

However...

I hate to be the voice of dissent, but generally, grandparents don't have rights to other people's children. Nor should they, ever.

Yes, that screws over the good grandparents, but there is no fair way to do this, IMHO. The "bad" grandparents would get to have access to innocent kids.

I would resent it if the court system told ME that I had to allow access of MY children to those whom I didn't like or want to see my kids, for whatever reason.

IMHO, if the court told me that another person had "rights" to MY kids, I would expect that person to kick in some child support as well.

[dangerousfem]

Actually a lot of states recognize grandparents rights now.. it varies from state to state on how difficult it is to get legal rights.

[momfromTN]

Actually a lot of states recognize grandparents rights now.. it varies from state to state on how difficult it is to get legal rights.


http://www.enotes.com/everyday-law-encyclopedia/grandparents-rights


Actually, it is not that cut and dried.

Also, if the parent or parents move to another state, the new state might not enforce the order from the previous state.

There are a lot of factors to be considered. And some states agree with the US Supreme Court, that grandparents rights are unconstitutional, which, btw, they are.

[Licchl05]

wow your son's gf sounds like my ex husbands gf, a big wench! i'm so sorry you have to deal with that!