View Full Version : Why do people lie?
gmyers
08-10-2009, 01:18 AM
What do they get out of it. I don't understand how they can do it and not feel any guilt. And keep doing it over and over. And even laugh about it. They don't seem to care if they come between people and cause them to hate or dislike each other. Anyway I guess I'll never understand how people can do it and people just believe the lies and turn against each other. I wish people would just try to stop and realize sometimes people do lie. Not everything they say is true and stop believing everything they say. Anyway thanks for letting me vent.
Vanilla
08-10-2009, 05:13 AM
I understand how you feel! The best is when you confront someone who is blatantly lying, they immediately become defensive (proof of lying). It never ceases to amaze me how people can spin a web of deceit and get away with it. I suppose if practiced long enough these people get good at their game.
tngirl
08-10-2009, 05:47 AM
It just comes easy to some.
krisharry
08-10-2009, 09:18 AM
Some people are born liars, they do it so often that even they don't remember the truth from the lies. Others do it i think to cause chaos in other's lives-perhaps it makes them feel better about their own life. My MIL lies about everything-DH hasn't spoken to her in about 3-4 years because of it.
pepperpot
08-10-2009, 09:19 AM
You've met my SIL? :lol
gmyers
08-10-2009, 09:37 AM
No but I sure have seen a lot of it lately. I just don't see what the the payoff is for it. And they never go back and make it right. No matter how much damage or hurt feelings it causes. I've been hearing more and more lies being told lately. It makes you want to tell someone to get a hobby if they're that bored and don't have anything better to do.
BeanieLuvR
08-10-2009, 09:45 AM
My MIL,SIL, and niece are habitual liars. They wouldn't know the truth if it ran up and bit them on the nose. I find it sad they lie so much they believe their own lies. Thankfully they don't lie to be malicious they just lie about everything no matter how big or small. I don't believe one word that comes out of their mouths. I'm sorry you have someone telling lies to cause problems for you. That is not nice.
lucimPI
08-10-2009, 11:50 AM
That is a second language for my ex-SIL. I did have the last laugh at one of her lies. About 4 years ago she told me a blatant one and a couple of weeks ago the subject came up and lo and behold she messed up and told me the truth and then about flipped and tried to make up all sorts of excuses and just dug a deeper hole for herself. I got the last laugh!!!! Hurt's to get caught in a whopper. The only time I will lie and I guess it really cannot be a called a big lie, is when someone ask's me my opinion of something they purchased and I truly hate it, I normally say that I think it will look great in their house but it is not exactly my taste. I hate to hurt someone's feelings.
DBackFan
08-10-2009, 11:51 AM
Its usually a need for attention.
cabby92
08-10-2009, 12:05 PM
My husband's ex and his oldest son with her lie constantly. They will lie when they know the truth will come out the next day. They lie to cause trouble, they lie to cause hard feelings and they lie when it serves no purpose at all. They tell whoppers that you know aren't true the moment it comes out of their mouths. Their next kid used to lie at times, mainly to get herself out of trouble, and the youngest wouldn't tell a lie if his life depended on it.
msginna
08-10-2009, 02:15 PM
some are pathological liars, which makes it natural to them.
papaw_phil
08-10-2009, 05:05 PM
Well I see someone has either met my soon to be X or is talking to the &(*&(&*^$^$&* I know be nice now. Believe me I am trying but it is hard.
gmyers
08-10-2009, 05:51 PM
I guess we all have someone in our lives that do it. Its sure not much fun though.
ma4angels
08-10-2009, 09:10 PM
You've met my SIL? :lol
Mine too plus my MIL
mosdata1
08-10-2009, 09:21 PM
DH's cousin lies all the time. Once he lied to me about what the DR told him in the hospital. I had to remind him that I was there, in the room when the Dr spoke to him.
He then said "Well, that's how I interpreted what he said, so I win" You wouldn't believe that this man will be 60 this year. He lied to the matriach of DH's family about DH doing something horrible to him & was so very surprised when DH stood up to the 'matriach', told her to believe whatever she wanted, he didn't have to answer to her for anything, especially not taking care of his family, and if she chose to believe a liar, then more power to her.
Now he's someone we just try to avoid having conversaions with. I will take him to the hospital & make sure he is okay health wise, but no more dinner at our house 4-5 times a week.
dv8grl
08-11-2009, 04:51 AM
I call liars out whenever possible.
Urban Cowgirl
08-11-2009, 05:27 AM
The only time I will lie and I guess it really cannot be a called a big lie, is when someone ask's me my opinion of something they purchased and I truly hate it, I normally say that I think it will look great in their house but it is not exactly my taste. I hate to hurt someone's feelings.
I don't really consider that a lie. that is sugar-coating the truth. We all have different taste and there is no sense in telling someone that you think something is ugly if they obviously like it.
We just bought a new car and the first words out of my Mom's mouth were ewww that is an ugly color. Well Mom when you are buying a car for me then you can choose a color you like! While I am paying the payment I'll choose!
Vanilla
08-11-2009, 05:43 AM
dv8grl, how does that work for you when you confront a liar? In my experience things don't go well. The liar gets angry and switches things around making the person who confronted them the bad guy. I am a good listener and I have a good memory. I have a knack for remembering little insignificant details.
Anniston
08-11-2009, 08:05 AM
Ugh, liars are just awful and once you catch someone in a lie, it is near impossible to know when they are telling the truth in the future.
The story that I always tell when the subject of habitual liars comes up is about something that happened with a man named Mike that DH knows who lies ALL THE TIME about everything, big and small.
Anyway, it was about seven years ago, and there was a popular country song about a guy who buys a used car and he finds a note in the glove box from a soldier which says that if you are reading this letter, I didn't make it home.
Anyway, when the song was popular and getting regular radio play, Mike told this story about a friend of his who bought a used car, and he followed the song almost verse for verse as he told his "true" story. It was so shocking it wasn't even funny that he would try to pass this story off as true.
Here is the link to the song (yeah, I have that much time on my hands today!LOL)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0gX-bipodU
ttistin
08-11-2009, 08:19 AM
I am going through this with my IL's right now....MIL is telling everyone lies about me and surprise!! everyone is believing her. I refuse to be dragged into it. If someone really wanted to know then I figured they would come and ask us about it but nope so....Their loss!! She told dh they other day I don't need to ignore them, I just refuse to be a part of it. I would rather not talk to them at all and not have to worry about any thing I said getting twisted around into a lie. (this is just a quick outline LOL)
So yea I hear!! I don't understand it and I don't think I ever will.
gmyers
08-11-2009, 09:33 AM
I am going through this with my IL's right now....MIL is telling everyone lies about me and surprise!! everyone is believing her. I refuse to be dragged into it. If someone really wanted to know then I figured they would come and ask us about it but nope so....Their loss!! She told dh they other day I don't need to ignore them, I just refuse to be a part of it. I would rather not talk to them at all and not have to worry about any thing I said getting twisted around into a lie. (this is just a quick outline LOL)
So yea I hear!! I don't understand it and I don't think I ever will.
The same thing is happening to me with my family. A whole year things have been going through the family that I'm supposed to have done and no one even told me about it till this month. I went to the person and told them I didn't say it but she flat out said I was lieing. Not to me but to another family member. She told me she believed me.
pepperpot
08-11-2009, 11:39 AM
Years ago, my aunts went around telling lies and my grandmother believed them. My grandmother mentioned these things that I 'did', I told her if she believes that, then she doesn't really know me. We didn't speak for a few years. It took her being on her death bed, witnessing my aunts fighting and conniving over her bank books and such as she lay inches from them on her death bed conscious and coherent just rolling her eyes and shaking her head. I visited her later that evening, and I knew then, she knew the truth when she saw me, hugged me and cried.
dv8grl
08-11-2009, 03:23 PM
dv8grl, how does that work for you when you confront a liar? In my experience things don't go well. The liar gets angry and switches things around making the person who confronted them the bad guy. I am a good listener and I have a good memory. I have a knack for remembering little insignificant details.
I'm pretty sarcastic, so I do it pretty blantantly obvious. I'll just say it, I'm an a$$hole. LMAO :rolling
When people get obnoxious about it, I just shake my head & tell them whatever makes you sleep better at night.
The older I get, the less I want to argue.
Once someone has lied to me & I called them out on it, I no longer want to be their friend anyway., so happy ending for me. :)
Unicornmom77
08-11-2009, 05:39 PM
Attention... that is mainly where lies come from is the need for attention.
Unicornmom77
08-11-2009, 05:41 PM
I'm pretty sarcastic, so I do it pretty blantantly obvious. I'll just say it, I'm an a$$hole. LMAO :rolling
When people get obnoxious about it, I just shake my head & tell them whatever makes you sleep better at night.
The older I get, the less I want to argue.
Once someone has lied to me & I called them out on it, I no longer want to be their friend anyway., so happy ending for me. :)
You are my idol, seriously I wish you could write down the lessons you have learned to become you, I wanna learn! I am so sick of keeping my mouth shut and taking it up the rear!!!
Good for you!
gmyers
08-11-2009, 07:56 PM
My sister died a little over 15 years ago. And I was told tonight the wrong sister died they wish it was me. I don't think I'll ever forget that as long as I live. You see what lies do to people. And the people that are lieing go on thier merry way.
pepperpot
08-11-2009, 08:05 PM
My sister died a little over 15 years ago. And I was told tonight the wrong sister died they wish it was me. I don't think I'll ever forget that as long as I live. You see what lies do to people. And the people that are lieing go on thier merry way.
unreal.....:(....:hug
mosdata1
08-11-2009, 09:59 PM
My sister died a little over 15 years ago. And I was told tonight the wrong sister died they wish it was me. I don't think I'll ever forget that as long as I live. You see what lies do to people. And the people that are lieing go on thier merry way.
Oh, I'm so sorry - you really need to cut those toxic people out of your life.
I wouldn't even answer the phone if the person who said that to me called again.
Wonderful thing - that caller ID.
msmom79
08-11-2009, 10:28 PM
i believe alot of people lie because they like drama,and they like to be at the center of it.
Most liars are good at what they do,i can tell by watching people,if they are lieng,some will sweat,some get red faced,some fidget,but most cant look you in the eyes ,when talking to you,
Makes you wonder about folks-man tell me the truth or dont talk to me at all=and stick your drama lies,where the sun dont shine!!!!
((((((((((((((((((((GMYERS)))))))))))))))))))))))
BeanieLuvR
08-11-2009, 10:39 PM
(((gmyers))) How unhappy they must be to say such things to you to try to make themselves feel better. They have to be bitter and miserable.
speedygirl
08-11-2009, 10:56 PM
My sister died a little over 15 years ago. And I was told tonight the wrong sister died they wish it was me. I don't think I'll ever forget that as long as I live. You see what lies do to people. And the people that are lieing go on thier merry way.
Hugs. Remember when people are hateful and hurtful, they're the ones with the problem not you. People like that are projecting their own misery and insecurities on you. I know it hurts when they say it but screw them. Remember karmic kickback is sweet.
justme23
08-11-2009, 11:11 PM
Well... I've been there. I've been told by several that the only reason my mother showed me any affection is because of her guilt over putting my brother up for adoption. That she never wanted me. Of course, she died before they told me that so I can't even ask her about it... and it really hurts to hear it.
speedygirl
08-12-2009, 12:16 AM
Well... I've been there. I've been told by several that the only reason my mother showed me any affection is because of her guilt over putting my brother up for adoption. That she never wanted me. Of course, she died before they told me that so I can't even ask her about it... and it really hurts to hear it.
Hugs to you too. That is unbelievably cruel to do. People can be so unkind and take it from the source. Anyone who deliberately puts something so painful on you should be ashamed.
pepperpot
08-12-2009, 06:05 AM
Well... I've been there. I've been told by several that the only reason my mother showed me any affection is because of her guilt over putting my brother up for adoption. That she never wanted me. Of course, she died before they told me that so I can't even ask her about it... and it really hurts to hear it.
WTF? How can people be so hateful and hurtful? I don't get it.
So sorry you have to deal with these horrible POS.
:hug
hesnothere
08-12-2009, 06:10 AM
Some people lie because they think the stories/lies they tell will improve others perceptions of them, Some people lie because they are scared of the consequeces of telling the truth and other people lie because for some reason inside their head they find it kind of amusing to mislead people.
Lying does not always come from a place of fear. In fact, sometimes lying comes from a place of love... as any parent who has been faced with a sticky question from a child can attest to. There are times when it's better to tell someone what they need to hear, instead of the truth.
Vanilla
08-12-2009, 06:28 AM
As you can see, you are not alone dealing with liars. I like dv8grl's approach! Confront the person and then walk away. Look, do you really want to have someone as a friend that cannot be truthful with you the majority of the time? Personally I would rather have less friends than to have lots of people in my life that I cannot trust. In some perverse sense when they lie to you they are doing you a BIG favor because their true colors and character is revealed. When it comes to liars in families, this is a more complicated matter. Try and limit your contact with these people. I know it is especially hurtful when family twists the knife but, try not to let it get to you. Life is too short. Remove the source of anguish and enjoy life. Rest assured, you are not alone.
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