Gosh this is all so hard....

[Unicornmom77]

I just feel like giving up in this moment right here. I will get up and go on and do the things I need to do IN A MINUTE, right now I just want to feel sorry for myself and cry, I just wanna scream and hit someone, my husband to be exact.

Why does he keep playing these mind games with me... Its not fair, just leave me be PLEASE ... he is going to break me. I hate he still feels he has control over me and what I do, I hate it all, I wish I could just go back a few years, five, when he pulled some crazy **** and just stayed where I was instead of following him to some hookers house who claimed to be my friend and all the while slept with my husband. Uhg!!!

Last weekend he went to the lake with one of my daycare moms and her sister and STAYED the NIGHT in a TENT with two women, then runs over here when I don't answer AGAINST the no contact order to tell me "oh yeah I did something stupid and went with them, but we didn't do anything" Riiiiiiiight cause I was born yesterday and all the other DOZENS of times you cheated and lied were different than now right?

I guess I am just so angry, I know I have faults and yeah I strayed on him ONCE and now I am the whore and he reminds me EVERY time I have to speak to him... he begged me last night to let him sneak in after the kids were in bed and sleep with him.... H E LL N O MO FO I told him off and he freaked, threatened me and the kids, threatened his own life. He was going to end it all cause I am DONE, really done this time, I am not being his stupid wife anymore.

The thing about the day care mom that really pisses me off is, if he makes things bad between us that is costing HIS kids support if she quits me, she almost pays our rent with her day care UHG!!! Why, and I asked him not too...

I am just so tired, I got pneumonia and had to take antibiotics and an inhaler, I am sure its just from smoking again and being run down, my appetite is gone I know I have lost weight, not the healthy way... oh well what can I do, I just hug my kids too much and tell them it will be alright and try to believe myself. Thanks for listening, i feel so alone, like I am the only one who has been through all this... help anyone?

[ElleGee]

It's called tell him to fcuk off and hang up the damned phone.. You do NOT have tolisten to a damned thing he says..So the eff what if you strayed? If he was doing his 'job' and not being a fcuk up then he wouldn't have had his @ss kicked out or have you stray.... *You're only human.. remember that

Nothing pisses me off more than (ok it's one of the things) a man that can't take fcuk off for an answer..

get a restraining order and tell him to fcuk off.. seriously.. Don't take his shiz and make yourself feel bad b/c he is a fcuk up!

:hug.
BTW you're NOT alone.. I bet a bunch of us have gone thru this shiz too.. it's not easy at first but it does get easier

[YankeeMary]

Well you asked....LOL.

He is controlling you, thats why he acts like he still does, kwim? You are allowing him to upset you. STOP!!! He isn't worth the salt in your tears. You are lucky you are just getting away with a broken heart and hurt feelings. You could be walking away with HIV or some other STD. Keep your head up! You can do this. It is hard, it will get harder but then you will done! I pray you find the strength to make it through this and that you find comfort in knowing that you are an awesome woman, and he is the one who has lost out. HUGS!!!

[YankeeMary]

It's called tell him to fcuk off and hang up the damned phone.. You do NOT have tolisten to a damned thing he says..So the eff what if you strayed? If he was doing his 'job' and not being a fcuk up then he wouldn't have had his @ss kicked out or have you stray.... *You're only human.. remember that

Nothing pisses me off more than (ok it's one of the things) a man that can't take fcuk off for an answer..

get a restraining order and tell him to fcuk off.. seriously.. Don't take his shiz and make yourself feel bad b/c he is a fcuk up!

:hug.
BTW you're NOT alone.. I bet a bunch of us have gone thru this shiz too.. it's not easy at first but it does get easier

Ok what she said...haha.

[sunniekiss]

I just feel like giving up in this moment right here. I will get up and go on and do the things I need to do IN A MINUTE, right now I just want to feel sorry for myself and cry, I just wanna scream and hit someone, my husband to be exact.

I am just so tired, I got pneumonia and had to take antibiotics and an inhaler, I am sure its just from smoking again and being run down, my appetite is gone I know I have lost weight, not the healthy way... oh well what can I do, I just hug my kids too much and tell them it will be alright and try to believe myself. Thanks for listening, i feel so alone, like I am the only one who has been through all this... help anyone?



He is controlling & upsetting you beacuse you are allowing him to. He knows exactly what it takes to push your buttons so as long as he keeps getting a reaction from you he is going to keep pushing & pushing & pushing.

Do NOT engage in any concersation with him. PERIOD! Next time he tries contacting you give him the name & phone number of your attorney, request all contact be done through your attornies & hang up. Then call you phone company & request an immediate change to your phone number & request that it be unlisted with call block. Phone compaines are required to do this, & I believe it is free of charge, for women who are being harassed.

I dealt with a control freak like this for 25 years. the only thing worse would have been staying with him for 25 years & 1 day (now I sound like Dr Phil). Been there, done it, & lost 35 pounds to prove it.

You need someone to talk to PM me. I feel your pain.

[SLance68]

If you have a Do Not Contact Order - hang up and call the Police and report his stupid butt and let the Police deal with him.

[pepperpot]

:hug It's okay to take a break and cry every now and then....but you will pull yourself back up and together and go on ...:agree

[gmyers]

Be careful if he's threatening you and the kids and to do something to himself. If he's really controlling he might try something. I know you have kids but I think I'd get a gun and keep it locked up just in case he tries something. With all the news stories we hear about people doing things to wives and kids just be alert is all. Don't feel bad about haviing a bad time right now. Just remember it when he tries to worm his way back in. And I think its sleazy of the person you're babysitting for to go somewhere with your husband like that. Thats just plain dirty.

[DBackFan]

I know how hard this is for you, truly I do. I was there once upon a time also. :hug I told you to come back to Washington and we will help get you started all over again. You just need to lose the loser.

[fleabones3]

If you have a do not contact order, report him to the police each and every time he calls or comes by. There are women's shelters that can and will help, including relocating you and the kids. Seems like this man will find anybody you are in contact with and put himself in contact with them to get to you in anyway he can.. hence the babysitter, your friends , etc. You need to permanently remove yourself from him...

I agree with the other posters.. this could turn into a bad situation, so cut your losses and get out. And DONT give him YOUR power anymore

[fleabones3]

If you have a do not contact order, report him to the police each and every time he calls or comes by. There are women's shelters that can and will help, including relocating you and the kids. Seems like this man will find anybody you are in contact with and put himself in contact with them to get to you in anyway he can.. hence the babysitter, your friends , etc. You need to permanently remove yourself from him...

I agree with the other posters.. this could turn into a bad situation, so cut your losses and get out. And DONT give him YOUR power anymore

[Mary Jo]

Make sure you're no contact order is still good. Sometimes they do have time limits.
Call the police every time.
Be strong for the kids during the day and cry at night until it's all out of your system.
You are fighting for your life.
And do not sleep with him. Think HIV, std's.
We are here for you.

[tngirl]

I feel your pain girl, like I said, I have been there done that. It isn't easy and won't be for a while. But, you CAN do it. I understand the being called a whore part, too. Just keep telling yourself that you deserve better and that you are a good person. That takes time too for it to sink into your brain. But, it is the TRUTH. Don't allow him to continue to play the mind games on you. Don't let him win.

If he shows up at your doorstep again, don't answer the door. Call 911 and tell them that he is at your door threatening you and the children and has the order against him for previous violence. And don't feel bad when they drag him off to jail. It isn't your doing, it is HIS. He is the one that continues to harass you and knows the consequences. So, if he comes around you he is the one making the choice for himself.

[PrincessArky]

If you have a Do Not Contact Order - hang up and call the Police and report his stupid butt and let the Police deal with him.

exactly


I feel for you I honestly do, I worry about you and all the stress this is putting on you. I hope that you are able to give him out of your life for good soon.

[ttistin]

I have not been through anything like this so I can't give any advice, It does seem that others have been in your spot and have given you good advice.

I know it isn't much but all I can say is that when you get through this you will realize how strong a person you really are :hug

[sheila_361]

Big *HUGS* for you, You can do it girl, again as all the others have said call the cops on his ass.. Do not let him intimidate you in any way.

[Shann]

:hug You definitely deserve better, I agree w/ the other ladies, it's going to be hard, but you can do it and will be better for it in the long run as will your kids. I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

[meltodd69]

Think of your kids!! This is no longer a matter of what he wants or you. This is about the KIDS!

Be strong for them!

[fairydana]

My sweet Wendy! My god my heart is breaking with yours. That man doesn't deserve you and he never ever has. Put your foot down and get mad as hell girl. Just do it, do it for all the times you didnt take up for yourself, for all the times he has called you a whore or whatever else he has called you. Put the fear of God into that man. Do not allow yourself or your childrens lives to continue on in this nature.

You are a good mom. You love your kids. You love other peoples kids. You take care of yourself and those babies, to hell with that rotten selfish, immature, non responsible piece of crud.

Just get mad. And if he continues to give you a hard time get the police involved. He is no longer in charge of your life. Good riddance to him. I know its all scary and everything you have ever known is changing but change isnt necessarily a bad thing. ITs just different at first.

Life can be good I can promise you that, let go of that baggage that keeps dragging you down.

My thoughts and prayers are with you! :hug

[krisharry]

ITA do it for your kids but just as important do it for YOU. You deserve better than what he has to offer. Stay strong and do not give in to him. Use 911 if he comes around and if you don't already have one get an attorney. It sounds like you have been pulling the whole load for a long time so life should get a lot easier without him around. I know it doesn't make it any easier emotionally so you can always vent to us. Hoping for a brighter future for you and your kids.