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View Full Version : WHAT IS IT WITH KIDS today , my daughter totally dumped me on mothers day



shadowcats
05-11-2009, 09:01 PM
i am never forgotten by my son even my son that died he always called me or sent me a card, this year my oldest son sent me a sony walkman 8g for mothers day and i know he really shouldnt be spending that on me,
but my daughter , nada ,,,,, not even a card ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, NOT EVEN A DOLLAR GENERAL CARD, and this isnt even the first time she doesn t send xmas or birthday anythings ,,,,,,,,,, if she remembers she ll call, but mostly i get ignored , ive stopped sending anything to her or her hubby for holidays any more , i send to the grandkids but not to them ,and they are in the ministry ,,,,,,,,,, she posted on my facebook ,,,,,,,,, happy mothers day mom love tina ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, thats it , nothing more , nada ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,well she ll find out someday what goes around comes around and i hope God gets her good,
its her dads fault , when we divorced her dad who i wount say his name molested her , then he used mind tricks on her told her i was going to put her in a mental hospital cause i wanted to take her to a counciler, so she ran away to florida, i was living in miss, and the state said she was old enough to chose what home she wanted to live in ,,,,,,,,,,,, she chose her dad ,,,,,,,,,,, i raised such a stink they ended up putting her in a foster home with a friend of hers parents who sided with my ex, she was 15 at the time, this was three years after i left her cruddy dad for molesting her,,,,,,,,,i think she blames me for making her dad move out and getting a divorce,,,,,,,,,,, damn man married another idiot woman not even two weeks after the divorce , i love my daughter but she denies that she holds grudges and its like she doesnt remember any thing i did for her,,,,,,,,,, hell i paid the whole school cost for her private schooling and her clothes and toys everything , her damn dad was a skinflint , he sent all his money to his mom in canada , and other family members,,,,,,,, i worked just as hard as he did,,,,,,,, and more i took care of our family ,,,,,,,,,,, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, this has made me so depressed
i tried talking to her about it but at 27 she totally blows me off ,but she calls her dad,,,,,,,,,,, and even went to visit him i wasnt even invited to her wedding , cause her dad said if i came he wouldnt ,,,,,,,,, grrrrrrrrrrrrr,
i cried all nite last nite because of her and missing my other son who died , if it wasnt for my oldest and his wife, i think i would have died years ago, from grief , between them and my husband and my best friend cheryl , i would have ended it long ago,,,,,,,,,,i know its old history but she has children now and i can call and talk to them but she barely has any time for me, i m lucky i get the face book contact,,,,,,,,,,,, her dad brainwashed her so badly , and her husband is nice but i dont know him, ,,,,,,,,,, and they really dont want any contact with me, his family is rich, my ex is a minister, how hes stayed a minister i dont know, but since i dont go holy roller , im not a good enough christian for them,,,,,,,,,,,,
oh well , sorry for the vent but i felt like screaming ,,,,,,,,,,, lol my therapist told me i should go to the woods and scream lol but i can see my new neighbors calling the cops ,,,,,,,,,,,, probley would think my hubby was killing me,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
since we moved now i ve got to find a new clinic.........
phoey ,,,,,,,,,,,,, so for now i had to vent this here,,,,,,,,,,,
sharon :damnmate::damnmate::damnmate::confused::mssmack

jasmine
05-11-2009, 10:19 PM
sounds like you might want to call your daughter and sit down, take her out to lunch, and have a good heart to heart.

speedygirl
05-11-2009, 10:34 PM
I'm sorry that you're feeling so sad for your daughter's insensitivity. But please don't wish this on her;


well she ll find out someday what goes around comes around and i hope God gets her good,


Just pray that she comes to her senses.It sounds like she's been damaged from a lot of things in the past and may have to figure things out with some help.

YankeeMary
05-11-2009, 10:57 PM
I'm sorry that you're feeling so sad for your daughter's insensitivity. But please don't wish this on her;



Just pray that she comes to her senses.It sounds like she's been damaged from a lot of things in the past and may have to figure things out with some help.

I thought the same thing.

I realize you posted this when you were upset and hurt. It is very understandable. But we must becareful for what we wish for. I agree with that you and your dd need to have a good long heart to heart. I wish you the best and I am so sorry that you are so hurt.

shadowcats
05-11-2009, 11:04 PM
sounds like you might want to call your daughter and sit down, take her out to lunch, and have a good heart to heart.
when we went to florida , (evacuating from katrina) she wouldnt even answer our calls. she was so afraid i was going to try and stay with her during that mess,,,,,,,,,,lol i even had the police go to her home to get her to answer the damn phone , i finally left a message to her saying i was leaving her up to God , and asking him to curse her as an infial daughter till she called me back settled this and told me why she refused to answer the phone. . five seconds after that message she called me back and not one word , how are you are you ok nada ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, all she said YOU CURSED ME AND YOUR GRANDCHILDREN,,,,,,,,, grandchildren .......... heck i was only told she had one ,,,,,,,,,,, thats when i found out i had a granddaughter,, she didnt even tell me till then and the baby was almost a year old,,,,,,,,, thats how i got her to even talk to me now,,,,,,,,,, she talks to me grudgingly now because i wouldnt let her ignor me that way ,,,,,, ive never fought with her or even had a heated word with her in her whole life , ever since she went to her dads , every time i called ,,,,,,,,,, it was she isnt home , or shes busy etc, i called every week , the same time and got the same message for over three years then i just gave up trying to get her to talk to me , she was in florida , i was raising her two brothers , mite i say with out help or money from her dad,,,,,,,, that idiot told my boys you chose your mom so forget about any thing from me,,,,,,,,,, he never called or visited them or gave them any thing for xmas or birthdays,this has been an ongoing thing since i left him and divorced him we were seperated three years before i even filed for divorce , i told him it was either go to counsiling or divorce , he chose divorce
, so thats what i did,,,,,,,,,,,, thats when she ran away , with the help of my neighbor , i found out later he was paying them to watch me and report back to him ,,,,,,,,,,,,, he never had any reason for this he just wanted to justify his own behavior. he was running around with another woman from the church the whole time we were seperated,,,,,,,,,, thats who he married three weeks after the divorce ,,,,,,,,she was someone we knew in our church, his own parishioner as they call it.

i never spoke to the kids about what was going on , my daughter knew i was seperated because of his sexual abuse , with her , i was lucky i stopped it before it really went to far, i took her out of the house and boarded her at our head pastors house for over three months before i left him ,and she knew i wasnt going to go back to him till he got counsiling which he never did. i wanted to take her to a christian counsiler in slidel and had the appointment for her, , she called her dad and he told her i was going to put her in the mental hospital , to make her freak thats when she got the neighbors to buy her ticket on the grey hound bus and they put her on it all the while telling me her daughter and mine were at the amusement park , i found out that evening he had sent them money for the ticket and told the police he had custody and i wouldnt send her home ,,,,,,, i had to bring my divorce papers with her custody in my care to prove this, and by the time they even would look at the papers and verify she was already at the florida station and the state said i would have to go to florida and file the papers there and then try and get her back, believe me ive been trying for years to get her to even talk to me; thats why im so heartbroken now over this. this is an ongoing situation . at least she doesnt stop me from talking to the kids now , she at least told me when she got pregant with the third one......... the kids are adorable . and they are not being told to hate me , its just her that cuts me out,,,,,,,,,,,,
not much i can do but keep trying to talk to her.

speedygirl
05-11-2009, 11:10 PM
when we went to florida , (evacuating from katrina) she wouldnt even answer our calls. she was so afraid i was going to try and stay with her during that mess,,,,,,,,,,lol i even had the police go to her home to get her to answer the damn phone , i finally left a message to her saying i was leaving her up to God , and asking him to curse her as an infial daughter till she called me back settled this and told me why she refused to answer the phone. . five seconds after that message she called me back and not one word , how are you are you ok nada ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, all she said YOU CURSED ME AND YOUR GRANDCHILDREN,,,,,,,,, grandchildren .......... heck i was only told she had one ,,,,,,,,,,, thats when i found out i had a granddaughter,, she didnt even tell me till then and the baby was almost a year old,,,,,,,,, thats how i got her to even talk to me now,,,,,,,,,, she talks to me grudgingly now because i wouldnt let her ignor me that way ,,,,,, ive never fought with her or even had a heated word with her in her whole life , ever since she went to her dads , every time i called ,,,,,,,,,, it was she isnt home , or shes busy etc, i called every week , the same time and got the same message for over three years then i just gave up trying to get her to talk to me , she was in florida , i was raising her two brothers , mite i say with out help or money from her dad,,,,,,,, that idiot told my boys you chose your mom so forget about any thing from me,,,,,,,,,, he never called or visited them or gave them any thing for xmas or birthdays,this has been an ongoing thing since i left him and divorced him we were seperated three years before i even filed for divorce , i told him it was either go to counsiling or divorce , he chose divorce
, so thats what i did,,,,,,,,,,,, thats when she ran away , with the help of my neighbor , i found out later he was paying them to watch me and report back to him ,,,,,,,,,,,,, he never had any reason for this he just wanted to justify his own behavior. he was running around with another woman from the church the whole time we were seperated,,,,,,,,,, thats who he married three weeks after the divorce ,,,,,,,,she was someone we knew in our church, his own parishioner as they call it.

i never spoke to the kids about what was going on , my daughter knew i was seperated because of his sexual abuse , with her , i was lucky i stopped it before it really went to far, i took her out of the house and boarded her at our head pastors house for over three months before i left him ,and she knew i wasnt going to go back to him till he got counsiling which he never did. i wanted to take her to a christian counsiler in slidel and had the appointment for her, , she called her dad and he told her i was going to put her in the mental hospital , to make her freak thats when she got the neighbors to buy her ticket on the grey hound bus and they put her on it all the while telling me her daughter and mine were at the amusement park , i found out that evening he had sent them money for the ticket and told the police he had custody and i wouldnt send her home ,,,,,,, i had to bring my divorce papers with her custody in my care to prove this, and by the time they even would look at the papers and verify she was already at the florida station and the state said i would have to go to florida and file the papers there and then try and get her back, believe me ive been trying for years to get her to even talk to me; thats why im so heartbroken now over this. this is an ongoing situation . at least she doesnt stop me from talking to the kids now , she at least told me when she got pregant with the third one......... the kids are adorable . and they are not being told to hate me , its just her that cuts me out,,,,,,,,,,,,
not much i can do but keep trying to talk to her.

To be honest, if my mother used God against me, I'd cut her out of my life. Try praying to God for resolution to your problem. I'm sure God doesn't take kindly to people using his name to invoke fear by curses and such.
You get more flies with honey.

gmyers
05-12-2009, 12:19 AM
Why didn't your husband go to prison for molesting your daughter? People do strange things when they're molested. Even taking up for the molestor sometimes. I know from personal experience. They don't want their family to break up even when they know it should. I hope you and your daughter can talk one day and work out whats wrong between you. And like the others said I wouldn't threaten her it just makes things worse. It would be better if you asked her why she feels the way she does. I hope things work out for you.

ma4angels
05-12-2009, 12:39 AM
Your DD sounds like she is pretty messed up from things from the past. I know that you are upset about the situation but when you go off on her like that she is going to get defensive. She is going to buy into what crap her father is feeding her because you cursed her or acted irrational(in her eyes). Some kids that are sexually abused would stay close to the abuser when they are young because they think it is how love is. She really needs therapy and I hope one day she will see the light. Maybe if you wrote her a letter straight from your heart telling how much you love her and want to put the past behind you . Tell her you want to start fresh and try to salvage your relationship. If she really didn't want you in her life at all honey she would not let you have anything to do with her children. She wouldn't let you talk to them at all. So please give thanks to God for at least being in that much of her life. Just take one day at a time with her.

shadowcats
05-12-2009, 12:55 AM
Why didn't your husband go to prison for molesting your daughter? People do strange things when they're molested. Even taking up for the molestor sometimes. I know from personal experience. They don't want their family to break up even when they know it should. I hope you and your daughter can talk one day and work out whats wrong between you. And like the others said I wouldn't threaten her it just makes things worse. It would be better if you asked her why she feels the way she does. I hope things work out for you.



































































heck thats the only way i got her to talk to me in the first place . and i did try to put him in jail , but she wouldnt talk to anyone but our pastor and clammed up when she went to social services , he even admitted what he had done , and asked for giveness, but kept his own council , said that god would heal him , you dont know how many times ive tried to talk to her . sigh its got me no where with her. and asking her to go to counciling , she said to me the last time i dont want to talk about it. so i dont talk about it, she just ignors me as if i were and uncouth relalitive . as for the threat , i was a preachers wife for over 15 years and believe me i know my bible, i also know God will take care of her whether i wish it on her on not, good or bad you reap what you sow. and ive tried to tell her this. growing up i always took her to her grandparents homes to visit no matter what i felt about them i knew it was the right thing to do. but she professes to be a lay minister but she couldnt be bothered to even be a friend to me unless i force the issue. and i wouldnt even have known my grandkids if i had just let it go. her brother has tried to talk to her about this , and got into an argument she is so messed up by his teachings those last few years she was around him. i fought the florida's child services for years trying to get them to give her counciling , i finally gave up on them and kept trying to talk to her , and i dont mean counciling or harrengin her just contact , hello , do you need anything what are you doing etc, but after she graduated , ya i went to the ceremony gave her a huge amount of money and presents , the whole nine yards , we supposed to spend time those two weeks i spent there at her friends house where she was supposed to be living but the whole time i saw her only half an hour. then she was always out or gone somewhere with her friend , and after the graduation i went home. i did make it understood i was upset that she dumped me then , but its been the same story over the last few years , now she 28 or is it 27 lol im getting old. shes just getting more distant no matter how hard i try. sigh. what will happen if something does happen , i try hard to keep the communication open but its getting more harder for me to want to try any more. unless you walk in my shoes and know my kids personally i know its hard for any of you to understand,
i just came on here to get my pain off my heart for a while, as to getting what i wish for , believe me losing my youngest to a freak car accident i know God took him for his own good. i gave him and my others ot God when they were born. so what ever happens is in Gods hands. i just needed to share my heartbreak. to ease the pain in a way that wouldnt be hurtful so when i call her this week i wount vent on her... sort of therapy venting my spleen.

gmyers
05-12-2009, 01:00 AM
Nothing wrong with that I vent here too. To keep from fighting with my family sometimes. I really do hope she comes around. I know it must hurt you a lot.

speedygirl
05-12-2009, 01:15 AM
Venting is good. But speaking from experience, when I was a kid, the more my mother went after me on certain things (and many times she was right) the further I'd pull away. It's human nature and a defense mechanism to protect yourself from conflict. If she were my daughter, I'd give her some space and tell her that you're always there for her when she sorts things out. Sometimes the more you push, the further away the go. I really hope it works out and you are reunited.

Quaker_Parrots
05-12-2009, 02:44 AM
,,,,,,,,,, she posted on my facebook ,,,,,,,,, happy mothers day mom love tina ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, thats it , nothing more , nada ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, well she ll find out someday what goes around comes around and i hope God gets her good,


The way I see it, she didnt totally dump you, there was some contact.

I think you need to ask God and her for forgiveness for the mean things you are wishing upon her. A true christian would never wish evil on someone, that is just wrong. You say you know your bible, but I think there are some parts you need to read a little closer.

You need to tell her you want to put the past behind you and try to have some sort of relationship. It may have happened, but she doesnt want any reminders, and by the sounds of it, you havent let it go.

I know it is next to impossible to do, but for your daughters sake, you need to try. She made her choices, you need to abide by them, or you will never have a true relationship with her.

You say you have a counsellor, what do they say about the whole situation?

shadowcats
05-12-2009, 03:29 AM
yes i talked to my counciler about her and i and our relationship, she said i had handled it right , but that her issues were probley from dads brainwashing and that having children and having to raise them would probley make her see the issues in a new light when hers got older. and id never really want any thing bad to happen to her. sigh its just i have to vent my hurt somehow. and this is the only way i could and not be hurtful to her when i talk to her , trying to get the hurt out in any other way would probley make me go crazy . lol and im crazy enough as it is. one great thing though my sons and i were always close , and every time one of them did something good or bad lol they would call me and tell me . but her its like her dad she clams up and you never know shes there even. she is sooooooooo much like her dad , lol put a mustach on her and shes the spitting image of him. she s only like me in that she has freckles.......lol does she dislike her freckles
and she has a birthmark that is like one of mine. guess that passed though her genes. she has her fathers beauty.......... and beleive me he was a hansome man in his younger days, he looked like david bowie in a dark skinned manner. and my youngest looked like him oh the girls were crazey for him when he was alive but he was like me and terrible self concious about the other sex. he was always loved by all, and his older brother is terribley shy. but he has the same gentleness and good looks if he hadnt had cystic acne when he was younger he could have been a male model. and his wife adores him , he spoils her too, they are so cute together , lol its weird my oldest son and his wife are mirror images of the coin with his sister , shes a beautiful and loving wife to her husband from what i can tell , but shes the boss in her family lol her husband looks like a line backer in football and shes this little bitty thing size 3 , and does she boss him around. my son on the other hand is the huge one , not fat but hes tall and hes bossy to my daughter in law. lol she couldnt even decorate the house with out his permission , boy did i have a talk to him on that one, hes loosened up on that issue. but she bullys him back , he likes to argue with her to see her get her dander up but she just ignores him lol , told she aught to smak him with the frying pan. lol she is so shy , but cute as a button , lol my son doesnt deserve her......... theyve been married only two or three years now. i think my daughter s been married over 7 , hes the older of my two boys and my daughter was the middle child......... they were always raised to be
honest and loving , and they seem to be ok in that . i really miss my youngest so much , and my daughter seems to have no feelings on the loss of her brother . she was always in compition with her brother growing up . and never were close, she was alway baiting him and getting him in trouble with their dad, she would taunt him and pinch him then scream and cry acking like he was killing her , had to restrain my ex from hitting him , cause of her antics , thats one of the reasons i knew something was wrong , she withdrew from him and started acting weird , never knew it was her dad causing it till she told me what he did one nite. i always had my kids watch those programs about abuse of all kinds then would talk to them aftwards about the programs, well she started crying after one so i took her in another room away from her brothers and thats when she told me , floored me like a rock,,,,,,,,,,,,, i wanted to die......... took her to our head pastors house that afternoon and left her there for two weeks while i argued with my ex, and then dealt with the police over the matter ,
oh well thats old history now, and no i dont hash it over with her or try to get her to see my side, i tried that after she got married , tried to talk to her about it in a senseable way but she attacked me and said it was all my fault and wouldnt discuss it any more......... heck we were only together for a day , she lives on one side of the country and i the other , she was so into her own world she didnt like to hear any thing about her dad from me, seems he told her i was the one who reported him to the police but i set her straight on that her beloved head pastor who was like a second father to her was the one who reported him, he told me he was going to do it so i wouldnt have that burden on my heart of having to turn him in,. but i dont think she believed me, and how was i to prove it. at this later date,
oh well, maybe one day it will come out.
well ive not slept again tonite and its daylight again, think i ll lay down and try to sleep a few hours before i have to do my day stuff, thanks for the chatting at least it gave me some vent time, with out hurting someone else even if i do sound crazy sometimes, im dyslexic and its hard for me to verbilize my thoughts sometimes. seems my brain runs my mind and it wount shut down sometimes..........lol

vicky122
05-12-2009, 03:43 AM
Wow I think it is pretty cruel to wish bad on someone over not getting a card. I can understand being hurt but wishing bad things on her is just wrong.

hotwheelstx
05-12-2009, 03:56 AM
I think what the op is referring to is Karma. Things will just happen in their own sweet time.

Sorry op I have no advice for you. Hoping your daughter will see her ways sooner or later. That's where the Karma will be.

ttistin
05-12-2009, 05:02 AM
Write her a letter, get it all out. No curses. Just tell her how much you lover her, that no matter what you are there for her.

Also tell her that you won't bring up the past again and stick to it. Seems like you need to let things to, if you want a relationship with her you are going to have to.

I understand you are hurt, tell her in the letter how hurt you are, but don't blame it all on her.

Again if you want your daughter in your life then you have to let the past go...there is nothing you can do about it now. Let it go.

freeplease
05-12-2009, 05:46 AM
I think you need to just back away from her for a while. If she wants to connect with you, she will. Sometimes we have to understand that just because we're connected by blood, we just can't be connected. She'll make her own decisions, with or without your input. She's a grown woman, and you have no control over her life. The past is the past. Let it go. It will eat you up, and spit you out.

A card isn't worth all this heart ache. It's just a piece of paper.

DrGrin
05-12-2009, 06:04 AM
Do you not realize that your daughter, your ex husband, your grandchildren or anyone else who knows you could very easily find this thread? Since you have a photo of you and your son on here you couldn't very well deny posting it. She would be even more hurt and angry with you for posting your family's personal business on a public forum.

hblueeyes
05-12-2009, 06:07 AM
I have never heard of such a mom. To want God to punish her for not buying a mothers day gift or a card? You must be one EDITED. Maybe that is why she avoids you. I would too. It may seem cruel but kids are kids and though she is an adult, give it a rest. It sounds like you are the one holding grudges. Also, molestation is but one way that people use to get back at the spouse. I have seen it before, not saying it is the case here, but it is so vindictive that it seems plausible to me.

Me

pepperpot
05-12-2009, 06:30 AM
The way I see it, she didnt totally dump you, there was some contact.



Originally Posted by shadowcats
,,,,,,,,,, she posted on my facebook ,,,,,,,,, happy mothers day mom love tina ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, thats it , nothing more , nada ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, well she ll find out someday what goes around comes around and i hope God gets her good,

I agree with QP, she didn't 'dump on you'. It may not be the response that you had hoped for but read between the lines.......

Obviously, she's had some serious issues to deal with in the past, she's a mother now with a busy life and I'm sure her plate is quite full with just that....... She had the thought and took the time out to wish you a Happy Mother's Day.....she even signed it "love", as I'm sure she does love you on many levels..... I'm sorry you don't feel that was enough for you......that may be all she can do right now..... IMO be grateful for what she does give you and that she lets you speak with the grand kids..... Perhaps if you change your expectations and vision of what she should be and should do...and let her be who she is and give of herself on her terms and in her way without being told it's not 'good enough'.....you might just appreciate what she is offering....and a more positive outcome might just happen. She hasn't totally cut you off or out :nono: Realize that...

If your response to her posting had been, "Thanks Sweetie, I appreciate your stopping by my facebook and leaving me a note, Happy Mother's Day to you and I love you too!".....rather than thinking "that's the best she could do?".....you just might appreciate more what does come your way and it might encourage a better relationship....:shrug Just a thought and observation. I wish you well, and Happy Belated Mother's Day. :)

sheila_361
05-12-2009, 06:42 AM
I have to agree with most everyone, that is so messed up to wish that on your own child... My sons do not send me cards, but I know in my heart that they care and love me. It could be that she just did not have the money to buy and mail a card. The facebook post should have been sufficient for you. You need to look long and hard and ste back and just be thankful that she made the effort on facebook.

pepperpot
05-12-2009, 06:45 AM
You didn't mention what you did for her on Mother's Day......she's a mother too and your daughter.

Kelsey1224
05-12-2009, 07:55 AM
There is so much hurt and anger on both sides that this may be a relationship that can never be mended. It is important to remember that your daughter was the child in the relationship when she was being molested. Perhaps in her mind she blames you for not protecting her. (I still don't understand why your husband wasn't formally charged and arrested for this.)

However...I agree with everyone else. I could never wish evil things on my children regardless of how they might neglect me. Being a mother is being sacrificial. It is part of the job description. And, she did send you a note on FB. While certainly not as nice as a formal card...at least she acknowledged you. I agree with the suggestion of posting a nice response.

You have to make a decision. Do you want a relationship with your daughter? If the answer is yes, then you have to recognize that the relationship will be entirely up to the terms your daughter sets. For whatever reason, she doesn't trust you. You need to start all over again building a relationship with her. As trust is restored, so will the relationship be.

If you can't do this on her terms...which is certainly your prerogative...then you need to let it go.

msginna
05-12-2009, 11:40 AM
GOSHHHHHH I called my mom who lives in another state. She wasn't feeling well at all. We talked. She was glad I called even though it hurt to talk for her. It was quick ,there was no gift, but I have done the computer thing in the past, but she isn't on much anymore. I didn't get a gift this year either and my kids are getting up there in the years. all I got was verbals. POOR ME huh. :( KIDDING. I am sure I may not even get THAT in the future. My kids are alive and doing well and that is all that I need :) I do not need a GIFT ...GOSH (insert rollie eyes thingie) and YOU do not need a gift either to know that you are a good mom.... we do not need things....

I see that there are more things to this though...like the "well she ll find out someday what goes around comes around and i hope God gets her good," and such.... but that is how I would react to people saying "I didn't get anything" weather it be any holiday... I just never have ever felt entitled I guess, and never been that well off ever and never had that silver spoon so it is easy.

BrightEyes
05-12-2009, 12:44 PM
I am incredibly close to my mom but I didnt buy her so much as a card for mothers day. She is out of state and I am horrible when it comes to actually mailing stuff, mailing gifts is to expensive. BUT I called her first thing in the morning before she went to church, then while she was at church I went to my Myspace, she has to, and I typed a heartfelt blog saying I loved her and even though my childhood wasnt easy ( financially) I wouldnt change a thing. I then copied it and sent it to her in email. Called her and told her to check her email, she cried very happy tears and it meant more to her than a card or store bought thing would have. Now she has the original I tpyed and she can go on and read others peoples reations to it as well. I also made her a simple digital scrapbook page of me, her and my sis and sent that in emial. It is now her default on her myspace.

My point is that I love you Mom is all it takes, you do not need gifts, cards etc. My kids did spend money on me and I appreciate the gifts but the letters they wrote to me to go along with them will always mean more than the gifts.

YankeeMary
05-12-2009, 01:35 PM
I am incredibly close to my mom but I didnt buy her so much as a card for mothers day. She is out of state and I am horrible when it comes to actually mailing stuff, mailing gifts is to expensive. BUT I called her first thing in the morning before she went to church, then while she was at church I went to my Myspace, she has to, and I typed a heartfelt blog saying I loved her and even though my childhood wasnt easy ( financially) I wouldnt change a thing. I then copied it and sent it to her in email. Called her and told her to check her email, she cried very happy tears and it meant more to her than a card or store bought thing would have. Now she has the original I tpyed and she can go on and read others peoples reations to it as well. I also made her a simple digital scrapbook page of me, her and my sis and sent that in emial. It is now her default on her myspace.

My point is that I love you Mom is all it takes, you do not need gifts, cards etc. My kids did spend money on me and I appreciate the gifts but the letters they wrote to me to go along with them will always mean more than the gifts.

Kinda off topic but this brought back memories. When I was still living at home and my mom and I would be out shopping and we seen something that we knew the other would love, but we couldn't afford. We would say "Here Mom, if I had the money I would get you this" or she would say it to me. It funny and corney. And was very cheap...LOL.

freeplease
05-12-2009, 01:45 PM
Personally, I HATE the pressure of mothers day, anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas. My family knows that I don't want anything. If I wanted something, I am capable of buying it for myself. And I have a better chance at buying the correct size. lol


I think Hallmark is the cause of too much family drama. Want to wish me a happy day? Pick up your socks. Or drag your dishes to the sink. That's better than a card or overpriced flowers, any day.

Kelsey1224
05-12-2009, 02:19 PM
Kinda off topic but this brought back memories. When I was still living at home and my mom and I would be out shopping and we seen something that we knew the other would love, but we couldn't afford. We would say "Here Mom, if I had the money I would get you this" or she would say it to me. It funny and corney. And was very cheap...LOL.

My best friend, Judy, and I used to do that too back in the days when we had no money. Somehow...the thought really did mean more to us then.

She passed away two years ago and I still miss her.

mabby89
05-12-2009, 03:36 PM
I couldnt read your original post, OP, hurt my eyes really bad. BUT...Wow, from the replies, I really cant say I blame your daughter very much. If she is in another state and there isnt close contact with her, you are very lucky to have the facebook comment. JMO.

iluvmybaby
05-12-2009, 05:58 PM
i finally left a message to her saying i was leaving her up to God , and asking him to curse her as an infial daughter till she called me back settled this and told me why she refused to answer the phone. . five seconds after that message she called me back and not one word , how are you are you ok nada ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, all she said YOU CURSED ME AND

If you were my mother, I would have cut you totally out of my life in a heartbeat. To pray to God to curse one of your two surviving children is truly disturbing to me. If you said something like that, maybe you are prone to saying obscene things like that and don't realize it, and that is why she is avoiding you like herpes

YankeeMary
05-12-2009, 06:15 PM
My best friend, Judy, and I used to do that too back in the days when we had no money. Somehow...the thought really did mean more to us then.

She passed away two years ago and I still miss her.

It was fun wasn't it. I rememer when Judy passed. I am still sorry that you lost your BFF. HUGS!!!

fairydana
05-12-2009, 07:52 PM
I will tell you one thing right now. If you and her father were too wrapped up in your own Divorce War or Custody battle that I had to go and live in a foster home,YOU ARE DAMNED SKIPPY I WOULDNT CALL YOU AT ALL ESPECIALLY ON MOTHERS DAY. I am serious. That whole thing is ridiculous. YOU BOTH SHOULD HAVE BEEN ADULTS and did what was right for your daughter.

It was all about who was in the right and who was in the wrong wasnt it.?!

This post makes me so thankful that I have an awesome mother and father as well as a wonderful stepfather and stepmother.

msginna
05-12-2009, 08:15 PM
could this thread be a fake one??? OMG I think I have just been had. I mean maybe someone was being selfish about presents yeh... but the wishing harm on her daughter at the end of her life????? OMG I was trying to explain that just because you don't get presents doesn't me they don't love you when all along I think this might be a BOGUS thread. MY OPINION

Sweetberries
05-12-2009, 08:24 PM
I don't know the whole situation
but you should never wish anything bad to happen to your daughter
I know when I was young I am pretty sure I gave my mom some hard times but she always loved me unconditionally and always realized she had to show more maturity then me and she never wished any kind of harm to come to me in fact my mom is very soft spoken when my brother and I were growing up she never lost her temper with us if she was upset she kept it under control
I did send my mom a card on Mother's day my mom knew I couldn't buy her anything it was enough for her that she got a card and I called her on Mother's day showed her that I do love her and to me she's the best mom in the whole world in fact my mom sent me a Mother's day card saying she loved me and sent me some money that just shows what a great woman and awesome mom she is

Bliss
05-12-2009, 08:25 PM
If you hold this much anger & you are seeing a therapist. I suggest finding a therapist who will help you pull yourself out of the past. Not recieving a mothers day card isn't the problem it just sparked your anger of past events toward your daughter.

If your exhusband admitted to molesting his daughter & he can still go to prison. I don't see any sane judge letting her live with him or why he never got arrested. You should have fought hard to keep your daughter away from a child molester. She may be upset with you because you did put forth the effort to protect her.

You already lost one child, just be thankful your other two are healthy & still alive. You need to get past of the past and live for today, yuou'll be a happier person if you can put things behind you and go forward. You can't change the past but you sure as hell can make the future better. G'luck.



i am never forgotten by my son even my son that died he always called me or sent me a card, this year my oldest son sent me a sony walkman 8g for mothers day and i know he really shouldnt be spending that on me,
but my daughter , nada ,,,,, not even a card ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, NOT EVEN A DOLLAR GENERAL CARD, and this isnt even the first time she doesn t send xmas or birthday anythings ,,,,,,,,,, if she remembers she ll call, but mostly i get ignored , ive stopped sending anything to her or her hubby for holidays any more , i send to the grandkids but not to them ,and they are in the ministry ,,,,,,,,,, she posted on my facebook ,,,,,,,,, happy mothers day mom love tina ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, thats it , nothing more , nada ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,well she ll find out someday what goes around comes around and i hope God gets her good,
its her dads fault , when we divorced her dad who i wount say his name molested her , then he used mind tricks on her told her i was going to put her in a mental hospital cause i wanted to take her to a counciler, so she ran away to florida, i was living in miss, and the state said she was old enough to chose what home she wanted to live in ,,,,,,,,,,,, she chose her dad ,,,,,,,,,,, i raised such a stink they ended up putting her in a foster home with a friend of hers parents who sided with my ex, she was 15 at the time, this was three years after i left her cruddy dad for molesting her,,,,,,,,,i think she blames me for making her dad move out and getting a divorce,,,,,,,,,,, damn man married another idiot woman not even two weeks after the divorce , i love my daughter but she denies that she holds grudges and its like she doesnt remember any thing i did for her,,,,,,,,,, hell i paid the whole school cost for her private schooling and her clothes and toys everything , her damn dad was a skinflint , he sent all his money to his mom in canada , and other family members,,,,,,,, i worked just as hard as he did,,,,,,,, and more i took care of our family ,,,,,,,,,,, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, this has made me so depressed
i tried talking to her about it but at 27 she totally blows me off ,but she calls her dad,,,,,,,,,,, and even went to visit him i wasnt even invited to her wedding , cause her dad said if i came he wouldnt ,,,,,,,,, grrrrrrrrrrrrr,
i cried all nite last nite because of her and missing my other son who died , if it wasnt for my oldest and his wife, i think i would have died years ago, from grief , between them and my husband and my best friend cheryl , i would have ended it long ago,,,,,,,,,,i know its old history but she has children now and i can call and talk to them but she barely has any time for me, i m lucky i get the face book contact,,,,,,,,,,,, her dad brainwashed her so badly , and her husband is nice but i dont know him, ,,,,,,,,,, and they really dont want any contact with me, his family is rich, my ex is a minister, how hes stayed a minister i dont know, but since i dont go holy roller , im not a good enough christian for them,,,,,,,,,,,,
oh well , sorry for the vent but i felt like screaming ,,,,,,,,,,, lol my therapist told me i should go to the woods and scream lol but i can see my new neighbors calling the cops ,,,,,,,,,,,, probley would think my hubby was killing me,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
since we moved now i ve got to find a new clinic.........
phoey ,,,,,,,,,,,,, so for now i had to vent this here,,,,,,,,,,,
sharon :damnmate::damnmate::damnmate::confused::mssmack

jasmine
05-12-2009, 08:29 PM
IMO

Mom's don't hold grudges, moms never give up, moms NEVER wish any harm upon their child, moms are always there through thick and thin, especially through the thick, we are the bigger person, we are MOM.
When your child hurts your feelings, stomps on you, it is at that time that moms reach out even harder to our child/children~ that is usually when they need you the most.
Always be open, always be there, never close your ears, never close your heart.
Never give up on your child. Tell them that you love them, even if they don't want to hear it.

Never give up.
For that is your child.
Moms have an un-ending, forever forgiving heart to their "babies". That is what we are here for.

Tasha405
05-12-2009, 08:31 PM
Wow I swear I wonder if you are related to my dad. He says the same kinda stuff about God gonna get us for not doing what he (my dad) thinks we should be doing. And he hopes he brings us down and so on. Hes a real trooper. :rolleyes: And you know what, I don't talk to my dad because of comments like that. You may even say them in anger and he might do it too but its just crazy to me. Why wish harm on your own child? It just blows my mind. I talk to my dad once or twice a year and thats about all I can handle of him.

msginna
05-12-2009, 08:36 PM
yeh that is why I was wondering if this wasnt real... wishing harm to her own child for not giving her a gift. there is a story alright.... but it begins with wishing her daughter harm.... makes me wonder about the rest... but again that is me.. Gosh ya just aren't going to get a big hug from me and a you can do it!!!! after something like that REAL or FAKE lol

Bliss
05-12-2009, 11:02 PM
yeh that is why I was wondering if this wasnt real... wishing harm to her own child for not giving her a gift. there is a story alright.... but it begins with wishing her daughter harm.... makes me wonder about the rest... but again that is me.. Gosh ya just aren't going to get a big hug from me and a you can do it!!!! after something like that REAL or FAKE lol

I'm sure she's being serious and not posting a thread for shock value. Some people are down right hateful to their children for the dumbest of reasons.

By her wishing harm on her daughter it is going to come back & bite her in the arse. You'll read posts wondering why this, why that... People can point her to this thread.

I'm not going to give out fake hugs or feel sorry for anyone who wishes harm on there own child. Even if they were venting - You just don't do that at all. If you want to wish someone harm, wish it upon yourself.

evrita
05-13-2009, 05:06 AM
I wonder how crappy she would feel if she saw this post and all she could afford was a post on her facebook saying happy mohters day. I know growing up we were poor my mom taught me it wasnt about what we gave but the love behind it.

sheila_361
05-13-2009, 05:52 AM
as the old saying goes "It's the thought that counts"...

the whole situation IMO is totally F'ed up....

Urban Cowgirl
05-13-2009, 07:13 AM
maybe she is going green...sending you a message online, rather than wasting paper!

April78945
05-13-2009, 03:23 PM
You remind me of the mom from Carrie.

IthinkNOT!
05-13-2009, 03:50 PM
This one has some issues...

sunniekiss
05-13-2009, 04:47 PM
I am sure most of us have said things to the ones we love that we eventaully regretted, however probably not to the extent of the OP.

What now needs to be done is a serious apology to her dd ASAP before more harm & hurtful words are exchanged. Mom you are the ADULT in this situation you need to seriously step up to the plate & "man-up" so-so-speak.

The greatest gifts I can ever get from my ds's are spending time with them & being grateful that they have grown into responsible men. A card or a dollar store gift are meaningless if I don't have a relationship with my child.

jcw
05-13-2009, 09:46 PM
I'd give anything if my daughter could post me a happy mother's day mom i love you on facebook after losing your son I would think you would feel grateful that you still have your daughter

YankeeMary
05-13-2009, 09:59 PM
I'd give anything if my daughter could post me a happy mother's day mom i love you on facebook after losing your son I would think you would feel grateful that you still have your daughter

:hug

shadowcats
05-13-2009, 11:04 PM
guess im going to have to clarify some things , i didnt really curse my daughter . lol i used what you call reverse phy, on her knowing how my husbands and her churchs rules and ways, will expain that in a min, and the context was misunderstood
i , and my husband , my mother , her husband and my nephew who is mentally disabled and my sister and her huband who has cancer were all evacuating from the gulf coast and new orleans from katrina,,,,, we all went in different directions cause of where we were and where we thought we 'd be safe , i gave every one my daughters phone number to contact if we made it out safe,,,,,,,,, well when i got to the hotel , after almost getting caught by a tornadeo getting out, i realized i left my phone book with everyones numbers on it on the table at home and the only family members numbers i had was my daughters, i tried calling her home , got the answer machine , left my number at the hotel and told her to call me when she got home, we hadnt really talked much in over a year but i thought we were on good terms, and she never even told me she was preg, again so when i called and didnt get a call back that nite , i called several times that day and nite , well after two days on the phone she still hadnt called , i called the police of her town and asked them to see if she was home or had left town for some reason and hadnt gotten my message we were frantic trying to find out if my mom had made it out , and if my sister had made it out, since i knew they would call her first, me and my husband didnt have cell phones before katrina and no one could find us either , well the police called me back and said she was home and gotten our message, she chose not to call me back , i guess she thought we were going to move in with her lock stock and barrel, which was never my intendion , i would never even think of that , im too indepenant to share with anyone else even my own kids, well i didnt know what else to do and i was worried she was ignoring my sis and moms calls also , so i called her back and told her , i was going to ask god to curse her with gods mothers curse of and infial child untill she called me back and straignhtened this mess out, * now you have to see her church preaches MAJOR holy roller teachings and this is a common threat they use to keep the kids in line, it means that her children will grow up and treat her the same way she was treating me, ..... lol i didnt mean it and i would never really curse my child with the kind of curse that you were thinking, and beleive me she knew just what i was talking about, she teachs her own this way,,,,,,,,, thats why she called me back in two seconds she must have been listing to the phone machine when i called ,,,,,,,,, and thats when she said youve cursed your grandchildren ,,,,,,,,,,,, lol thats when i found out i had a grand daugther , and i told her no i didnt curse them i just wanted her to answer the phone , it was not right that she ignored me when i was just trying to get info from her if her grandmother had called or her aunt vicki since id left all the phone numbers in my home ,when i evcauated, then i asked for my other sisters number up north , so i could call her and see if they had made it or if we had to keep searching this is the third day after and seeing the horror storys in tv about everything i was worried my mom never made it out of new orleans, so if you think i was wrong , im sorry you feel this way , but its funny she didnt get that angry over it as you all did, and i did say you didnt know the whole story,

second item
why her dad didnt get arrested ,

this happing in new orleans and she was twelve at the time , and had just started her montly, her dad went in to her room after every one went to bed and made her show her self,,,,,,, SCARED HER BADLY , i dont know how many times he did this,,,,,,, but i found out about a week later , or it could have been two, that same day i took her out of our home to safe keeping wehre i knew her dad would NOT GO AND TRY TO BRING HER HOME, and then went after him with another person in our church , well he admitted it after hours of talk and prayer,,,,,,, and promised to get counciling but after two weeks he reniged and said god would cure him , well i put my food down and said oh no you dont , you cant back out, if you do i ll report you well he slammed me into the wall , i ran and called the head pastor who came to our home and my ex refused to talk to him , thats when he said hed report him to keep me from having to hurt our daughter , so if you think i did wrong im sorry you fell that way, but thats how the church tells you to handle this,
and i did try to get my daughter to talk to the police but she refused and accourdign to nopd, they couldnt force her because she was old enough to refuse , so they told me to move out or move her to another home permenatly so i moved to miss, and hen went elsewhere,,,,,,,, i stayed seperated for three years and they only had supervised visits, she was having problems with her dad over the phone thats why i set her up with a chrisian counciler and thats when her dad told her i was locking her up in a mental hosp, thats when she ran away to him,,,,,,,, i also had two other children to care for and i was the bread winner supporting them , i couldtn just drop them and run to try and file court case in another state , she was sixteen at this time , and they would nt listen to me since it was my word verses her dad, and their friends........ so i did what i could with the courts by lawyers and other means, i did get her out of her dads house but that family she was put with was just as bad as her dad in their teachings and believe me , you dont know the pain i had trying to get just talking contact with her , and them not letting me talk to her,

and as to matter number three ,

my being up set and wanting to vent my hurt and anger over her not calling or even sending me a dollar card,,,,,,,, she had time to call her dad, her brother and i know she went to her hubbys home for mothers day and i got on facebook
happymothers day, love daughter its not as if i expected anything expensive or any thing , but that my son asked me if she had called and i said no , he told me she had called him , her dad and was going to her hubbys mom, and i got facebook, phoey on you , you cant judge me just because i was venting this is the vent section , where you vent so you WOUNT GO OUT AND REALLY DO SOMETHING UGLY, lol give me a break guys,,,,,,,,, im sure evey one on her at one time or another wished god would knock their kids in the butt, at some time or another , ya we dont mean it but its human nature to feel this way , its how we act about in the long run, which is what is important, i know some will not like my thoughts or what ive said but thats your perogitive....... and sorry if ive hurt anyones feelings but im depressed about my youngest sons death , my oldesnt sons health, and my daughters insensitve way ,,,,,,,,,,, we dont have a personal relationship at all and its not because i dont try , and its not because i try to bring up old history its because she and i dont believe the same way and she is a lay minsiter as i said in her church and thats how they preach and teach their kids, and i have to as they say fight fire with fire , thats how i got her to even keep contact with me now , i am able to call the kids and talk to them as much as i want but her shareing any of her life with me i have to fight for and will continue to fight for, no matter if you think im a monster or not, i love my daughter and will not let her completely cut me from her life , one day she ll have a crisis and need someone , if not me i hope its someone with a real tie to God ,

oh well , i guess i get hanged for this but so be it , i m venting again

speedygirl
05-13-2009, 11:23 PM
sure evey one on her at one time or another wished god would knock their kids in the butt, at some time or another

Nope, never.

Let's just say reverse psychology that lays a guilt trip on someone is proven not to work. If you want to use reverse psych in a situation, you can't make threats, curses or wish harm because it totally negates the principal. In order to have accomplished what you wanted you would have said for example that you didn't care about mothers day and in return you'd hope that statement would bring her to you.
Negatives don't work. It's more like telling your kids not to eat the spinach because it's so yummy and full well knowing that that'll entice them. It's supposed to be used as a motivational factor, not to drive a wedge.

Quaker_Parrots
05-14-2009, 02:06 AM
but my daughter , nada ,,,,, not even a card ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, NOT EVEN A DOLLAR GENERAL CARD, and this isnt even the first time she doesn t send xmas or birthday anythings ,,,,,,,,,, if she remembers she ll call, but mostly i get ignored , ive stopped sending anything to her or her hubby for holidays any more , i send to the grandkids but not to them ,and they are in the ministry ,,,,,,,,,, she posted on my facebook ,,,,,,,,, happy mothers day mom love tina ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, thats it , nothing more , nada ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,well she ll find out someday what goes around comes around and i hope God gets her good,


You forgot to explain this curse in your original post.

pepperpot
05-14-2009, 05:10 AM
If I had a mother (or relative) with a stressful, past riddled with issues and not a very strong and loving relationship..........and then out of the blue started receiving calls from all relatives saying that you told them to call me and that I was to be a message center, then you call and leave messages telling me when and where to call, the police show up at my house with all the neighbors watching, and they proceed to say that you sent them because I wouldn't answer a phone, then I get a message that my children will be horrible because you think I am horrible and it's on my head, yada, yada.....I would be so upset on so many levels by your trying to manipulate me, control me, thrust this craziness on me and just the total chaos and hurtfulness you bring to the table. But you don't see any of that. :(

I can appreciate your wanting to vent and I think a lot of the responses here are trying for you to see your own role in creating these situations of hurt feelings. Perhaps if you see your role, you'll gain a different perspective and won't need to vent.....

As for the Mother's day wish from her on facebook, count your blessings that you got that and that she lets you talk to her children.

BTW you never did say what kind thing you did for her for Mother's Day.....

DAVESBABYDOLL
05-14-2009, 05:17 AM
My mom use to say "I hope when you have kids,they give you twice as much as what you gave us" lol but she never wished God to get me good or wish harm on me in anyway. She meant when I became a mom,I would know what they as parents went through. It wasn't meant to be a bad curse lol.


I have never wished that God would knock my kids in their butt, not once. But I have told them "I'll knock knots on your head faster then you can rub them" they would just laugh at me because they knew, I wasn't a spanker in any way shape or form, I was a grounded to your room type mom,still am.

fairydana
05-14-2009, 05:39 AM
I am not judging you. You want to vent, go ahead and do so. Dont expect us to send you a bunch of hugs.

If I were your daughter, you wouldnt get a call or a card or anything for mothers day or anything else. You would be dead to me.

The thing you are not getting is that we all have bad things happen to us, life is hard enough as it is. You dont need to wish bad for anyone especially your own daughter.

And dont you dare use depression as your excuse. I do have mental issues in which I do get help for and I am living a life full of ups and downs like everyone else.

sheila_361
05-14-2009, 05:53 AM
IMO and my opinion only, I really think you need to get some serious help, not trying to sound cold hearted or mean here.

Njean31
05-14-2009, 06:51 AM
i never spoke to the kids about what was going on , my daughter knew i was seperated because of his sexual abuse , with her , i was lucky i stopped it before it really went to far, i took her out of the house and boarded her at our head pastors house for over three months before i left him ,and she knew i wasnt going to go back to him till he got counsiling which he never did. i wanted to take her to a christian counsiler in slidel and had the appointment for her, , she called her dad and he told her i was going to put her in the mental hospital

the whole thing is very hard to decipher but this caught my eye. are you saying you would have put her back in the situation had he got counseling? counseling for what? you can not counsel out pedophelia....i would have done everything in my power to keep her away from any men. i would have not placed her in the house of a strange man (the pastor) after she had just been "molested." this child need's God's blessings...not curses after what she's been through.

friend6040
05-14-2009, 07:10 AM
when I was growing up everyone always told me listen to your mom shes the best and knows everything. and I realized that Im glad shes still with me to give me advice and her wisdom to everyone else, im sorry if you lost a parent, to those who are still living. be good to your mom dad and for the kids they should appreciate you because you brought them into the world and know more then they do, so its a honor to love your mom and dad.

Njean31
05-14-2009, 07:25 AM
when I was growing up everyone always told me listen to your mom shes the best and knows everything. and I realized that Im glad shes still with me to give me advice and her wisdom to everyone else, im sorry if you lost a parent, to those who are still living. be good to your mom dad and for the kids they should appreciate you because you brought them into the world and know more then they do, so its a honor to love your mom and dad.

i agree...honor your mother and father to the highest level possible THAT IS if they raised you with love, protected, nurtured, and showed you encouragement. but just because someone gave birth to a child does not make them automatically deserving of praise, honor, respect and love. look at susan smith! or many many women who beat, starve, neglect, or allow their children to be molested because they are too weak to leave the situation for whatever reason. nah, they deserve to be sterilized without anesthesia, ostracized and/or imprisoned !! Thank God my mother was one of the loving ones. I miss her so much!

iluvmybaby
05-14-2009, 07:55 AM
I think this is all one big lie, her stories conflict, this is a sick bid for attention if I have ever seen one


sheila_361 IMO and my opinion only, I really think you need to get some serious help, not trying to sound cold hearted or mean here.

I agre with Sheila 100%

jcw
05-14-2009, 08:05 AM
If I was a child that got molested by my dad THEN I got sent away I would think my mom was punishing me and taking care of dad

Kelsey1224
05-14-2009, 08:11 AM
These posts just give me a headache. I don't want perfect grammar and punctuation...but an occasional capital letter and period at the end of a sentence would help so much. Is that too much to ask?

I have also never wished for God to knock my kids on the butt. And reverse psychology is just another term for manipulation.

I don't know what the messages you left for your daughter said, but if you just said "call me back", I'm not sure that relayed the seriousness for your multiple frantic calls. Did you say, "I left my address book at home and I need to know the status of...? Please call me because I am worried about....."? If you did and she didn't return your call, then that was really inconsiderate of her and no wonder you were upset.



Nonetheless...it is obvious to all of us total strangers on this board that you and your daughter do NOT have a relationship whatsoever. After all these years, it is irrelevent whose fault it is or what caused it.

Do you want to be right or do you want a relationship with your daughter?

If you do, then swallow your pride, suck it up, and do whatever it takes to restore the relationship. As I mentioned earlier, you will have to do it on her terms.

If you can't do this, then leave her alone and quit harassing her. Your way (reverse psychology) isn't working and is just making the wedge between you get wider and wider. You are driving her further away by YOUR actions.

I'm so sorry that your son has passed away. I cannot imagine the depth of your grief and pain. And, it is wonderful that you and your other son are close. But, without change on your part, you might as well realize that your daughter will be lost to you as well.


If I was a child that got molested by my dad THEN I got sent away I would think my mom was punishing me and taking care of dad

I absolutely thought this same thing. Although...hindsight is 20/20 and the OP obviously thought she was doing the right thing at the time.

Urban Cowgirl
05-14-2009, 08:57 AM
Reverse psychology is something I use on my young children....playfully...like when one of them is being cranky, I'll say, "No way I don't want a hug." Or "I better not see you smiling."

Works like a charm on my kiddos.......but why would you play games with an adult? You think she doesn't know what you are doing?

msginna
05-14-2009, 11:12 AM
I think this is all one big lie, her stories conflict, this is a sick bid for attention if I have ever seen one



I agre with Sheila 100%




yip i thought so too