dh's mother is in the hospital and the hospital sucks

[ttistin]

she is up in NY and we are in Alabama....

We found out this morning that she went to the hospital at 12:30 last night, she was having chest pains, pains in her side, her tummy is swollen and hard, she has a fever that is slowly going up etc.... it is been 16 hours and they haven't found out what is wrong with her.

They are not going into the room to check on her, they are not writing anything down on charts...she is on morphine. Dh's sisters have had to write things down for the nurses..have to keep chasing them down for them to check on her.

I told them they need to transfer her to another hospital...I really wish we were up there.

[Bliss]

Hope everything goes well & she pulls through alright.

[freeby4me]

Wow that does not sound right at all. I sure hope ya'll can get to the bottom of this and get her some decent care.

[ElleGee]

:hug

[skyrider]

aw man I may have had a lousy doc but i was in the best hospital

[shadowcats]

and have them speak to the director of the hospital stat , that kind of shoddy care should be reported , have them tell who ever is the director of the hospital they are reporting to him first and the news stations and medical board next ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, that shoddy care can kill your mom,,,,,,,,,,,,,, so run dont walk to the phone next and call the director yourself also ,,,,,,,,,,, you can do a lot on the phone dear,,,,,,,,,,,,,
good luck ,,,,,,,,,,, will pray for your mom
sharon

[speedygirl]

I hope everything goes well for her. http://www.bigbigforums.com/images/smilies/hug.gif

[hotwheelstx]

When my mother became ill in 2005 no one at the hospital would listen to me. My mother was fine one day and in a coma the next. Aggie and I rushed her to the emergency room. She was admitted, for 2 days no one did a thing for her. In e.r. they thought she was intoxicated, tried to commit suicide....just by looking at her.

I did go to the director of the hospital and demanded that my mother be seen, treated or transferred at their expense out of their hospital. I promise you I didn't stop til someone listened to me. It took a matter of minutes before a dr. came into to see my mother, started doing tests to find out what was wrong. My mother wasn't hooked up to i.v's, no vitals except for e.r. After mom's diagnosis (West Nile Virus) I was told that if I hadn't of persisted so much she would of been gone in a matter of hours....that's how serious it was.

At the time my mother was still working...close to retirement though still had ins. I told the administrator I didn't care if my mom's ins. didn't pay for everything, everything would be paid. It made no DIFFERENCE that my mother was in her early 60's.

Go to the head of the nursing dept. or administrator of the hospital. If that doesn't work take your mil out of that hospital asap. There's no excuse for this kind of non-care.

I hope things work out for the best for you and your family.

I don't care who you are, how much money you make, where you come from anyone deserves decent medical care.

[ttistin]

These are the kind of things that scare me, she is only 49 or 50. They have no idea what is wrong with her and don't seem to care to find out what is going on.

Dh and I try to tell the sisters up there to get her out of that hospital, they seem to think they need the hospitals approval to transfer her. They agree that she needs to go to a different hospital but wont do anything about it.

I lost my mom almost 5 years ago....I don't want to see dh and his sisters go through that. It frustrates me to no end....

[hotwheelstx]

These are the kind of things that scare me, she is only 49 or 50. They have no idea what is wrong with her and don't seem to care to find out what is going on.

Dh and I try to tell the sisters up there to get her out of that hospital, they seem to think they need the hospitals approval to transfer her. They agree that she needs to go to a different hospital but wont do anything about it.

I lost my mom almost 5 years ago....I don't want to see dh and his sisters go through that. It frustrates me to no end....

There is NO NEED FOR APPROVAL FROM ANYONE. When my mother was finally transferred to a rehab. center after being in the hospital for 4 weeks she called told me she wanted to go home.after only being there for 2 days. No sooner said than done I was there to take her home....against AMA. All you do is go up there and take her out of there. If it's your husband's mother I would hope that he could talk to the sisters. let them know how serious this can get with no medical attention. I know it's hard when other family members are "fighting" with you. My brother did the same thing. I got a power of attorney over my mother while she was in a coma for those 2 weeks. Brother (mine) wouldn't agree to anything. After a small hearing judge ordered that I take full responsibility for our mother....which I'd done since she became ill. Not saying that's what you need to do...it's what I had to do for our family.

If you do decide to take her out of that hospital on your own accord you'll sign a waiver stating you're taking her out AMA (Against Medical Advice). All is really means is if she wants to go back to that hospital for the same illness they won't take her.

I'd do it....in a heartbeat. I watched my mother suffer thru West Nile a year before she passed away. I'm glad of the decisions that I made to complain, act like a was a crazy woman. It got the care that my mother needed and gave me and her another year to be together.

My mother didn't....but does your mil have a will? If so, check and see if there's anything there if she becomes incapacitated. If it's in writing then the sisters would have to follow her wishes.

[shadowcats]

for the director of the hospital and insist on talking to him immeadiatly , you have as much right to insist on her care as anyone else, and make sure you record this and tell him so , she could die and all they would say is well thats what your family said to do,,,,,,,,,,,, or you need to talk to your doctor , bull crap , i almost lost a dear friend to the lack of care she needed and my own mom was ignored for two days after serious surgery on her colon , they didnt bathe her or she if she needed fluids and left her in dirty bed sheets for three days till i got there , when i asked when they changed the sheets , i was told not since before her surgery ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, man i hightailed it to the hospital directors office and raised cane there which they immeadiatly send someone to change and clean her room throroughly , the trash was over three days old in her cans,,,,,,,,,, and i also called her person doctor and raised cain with him , lol told them all id get a camera and video it all and send that to every tv station in new orleans ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, and the board of health,,,,,,
believe me they ll get on the ball if some one shows balls.............
sharon

[ttistin]

dh just talked to his older sister and she completely POed me and dh off. Talking about how tired she is and how she seems to be the one in charge and how she has so much to do at home and how she has been there all day...when she has only been there a few hours of the day.....and how it is not her responsibility to ask questions or to make the dr/nurses do something. OMG this is her mother...I know dh's mom and I haven't seen eye to eye but there is no way I would allow this to happen if I was there. They need to stand up and take care of their mother.

[sheila_361]

:hug

[pepperpot]

ditto :hug

[ttistin]

I just called the hospital up there and they said they can't give me any information. I need to call in the morning and talk to the dr, me might be able to give us some information. I asked if it was something serious, do we need to start driving up now or is she ok? She said the nurse said she was the same as earlier, but I don't know how she was earlier....

AHHHHH makes me wanna pull my hair out:tearhair

I do understand that they can't give out any details but come on at least let me know if it is something serious enough to take a 19+ hour trip

[BeanieLuvR]

I hope you can find out something tomorrow. I know when my dad was in the hospital they gave us a special code and would only give info over the phone if we had it. Hugs to you.

[hotwheelstx]

dh just talked to his older sister and she completely POed me and dh off. Talking about how tired she is and how she seems to be the one in charge and how she has so much to do at home and how she has been there all day...when she has only been there a few hours of the day.....and how it is not her responsibility to ask questions or to make the dr/nurses do something. OMG this is her mother...I know dh's mom and I haven't seen eye to eye but there is no way I would allow this to happen if I was there. They need to stand up and take care of their mother.

I'm sorry but from one daughter to another who's been thru it and watched her mother suffer because no one gave a hoot.....doesn't cut it with me.

Call everyone that hospital tomorrow til you get some resolution. I'd send the sister home and go up there myself. At this point who cares if she's tired, been there all day, has things that need to be done.

If I didn't get any resolution over the phone I wouldn't hesitate driving, flying, running walking, taking a cab, bus, train to get there. You only have one mother.

My mother and I as I got older didn't see "eye to eye" on some things. However, when it came to family matter we were there front and center and only complained after the fact (that was only if there was a complaint).

Aggie (dh) and my mother got along like nothing I'd ever seen before with either of them....I still haven't seen Aggie get along that way with anyone (except me) since my mother passed away.

Your sil's "complaints" sound like my brothers. He was tired of me calling him, didn't want to stay the night with mom in I.C.U., couldn't/wouldn't talk to any drs., nurses. Just wanted to go home and let someone else take care of the situation. After my mother woke from her coma she demanded that my brother stay with her for at least one night. I have never had so many middle of the night phone calls in my life......nurses kept coming in, bed was uncomfortable, mom wouldn't/couldn't sleep. I kept telling him everytime.....touch schit. She was just as much his mother as she was mine. That's the least he could do for her....he wasn't going to do anything else.

If nothing else do it for yourself and your husband. I know I did everything humanly possible for my mother from the day she became ill, til the day she passed away. I have NO REGRETS on what I said, did, didn't do at that point and time.

In my mother's case her illness took it's toll on her. I only had another year with her. However, that last year I cherish. Yes, she was pissed at the rehab., not being able to remember things, not being able to do some of the things like before. However, she knew in the end how much I did love her, cared, would do anything, everything in my power to keep her well and safe from harm.

[dv8grl]

:hug
Been there...
:hug

[ttistin]

I'm sorry but from one daughter to another who's been thru it and watched her mother suffer because no one gave a hoot.....doesn't cut it with me.

Call everyone that hospital tomorrow til you get some resolution. I'd send the sister home and go up there myself. At this point who cares if she's tired, been there all day, has things that need to be done.

If I didn't get any resolution over the phone I wouldn't hesitate driving, flying, running walking, taking a cab, bus, train to get there. You only have one mother.

My mother and I as I got older didn't see "eye to eye" on some things. However, when it came to family matter we were there front and center and only complained after the fact (that was only if there was a complaint).

Aggie (dh) and my mother got along like nothing I'd ever seen before with either of them....I still haven't seen Aggie get along that way with anyone (except me) since my mother passed away.

Your sil's "complaints" sound like my brothers. He was tired of me calling him, didn't want to stay the night with mom in I.C.U., couldn't/wouldn't talk to any drs., nurses. Just wanted to go home and let someone else take care of the situation. After my mother woke from her coma she demanded that my brother stay with her for at least one night. I have never had so many middle of the night phone calls in my life......nurses kept coming in, bed was uncomfortable, mom wouldn't/couldn't sleep. I kept telling him everytime.....touch schit. She was just as much his mother as she was mine. That's the least he could do for her....he wasn't going to do anything else.

If nothing else do it for yourself and your husband. I know I did everything humanly possible for my mother from the day she became ill, til the day she passed away. I have NO REGRETS on what I said, did, didn't do at that point and time.

In my mother's case her illness took it's toll on her. I only had another year with her. However, that last year I cherish. Yes, she was pissed at the rehab., not being able to remember things, not being able to do some of the things like before. However, she knew in the end how much I did love her, cared, would do anything, everything in my power to keep her well and safe from harm.


Thank you....It is nice to know that I am not alone in how I feel about this.

No she is not my mother, We are not close....but she is dh's mother. She is the kids grandmother and I do not want anything to happen to her. I do not want dh to have any regrets if something happens to her.

If it were just dh and I we would have already been in NY...but with the kids we need to make sure it is something serious before we hop in the car. It has been really hard on dh to be this far away especially with how his sisters are acting.

[ttistin]

well I guess the dr's actully did something today lol They are now thinking that it is an ulcer. She is going to have an endoscopy tomorrow morning. Also her spleen is inflamed. Not sure about that but I guess we will see.

[krisharry]

Thank you....It is nice to know that I am not alone in how I feel about this.

No she is not my mother, We are not close....but she is dh's mother. She is the kids grandmother and I do not want anything to happen to her. I do not want dh to have any regrets if something happens to her.

If it were just dh and I we would have already been in NY...but with the kids we need to make sure it is something serious before we hop in the car. It has been really hard on dh to be this far away especially with how his sisters are acting.

I know how tough it is to be far away from family esp. at times like this, I hope they get to the bottom of it soon and she can begin her recovery.

[ElleGee]

:hug

[ttistin]

We only heard a little today.....I guess they did the procedure and took some to send off to test. We were also told she was going to be sent home today and they were going to call us...that was over 7 hours ago. We have not heard anything since. So we have no idea what is going on...Dh is trying to call someone up there now to find something out. So we will see

[buglebe]

Tell your husband to call the director of nursing or the nurse covering the house.
In most hospitals after 7pm they have a nurse who covers the house and handles any problem. You dial the main hospital number and ask for the nurse covering the house.
If his mom has gone home they will find out and tell him, if she is still there she can find out something for you. I will say with all the protection of privacy in place now it is possible she won't be able to legally say anything but it is worth a try. You don't have anything to lose.