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View Full Version : More drama from the Ex-Husband! VERY LONG!



WendyLou75
05-04-2009, 09:02 PM
Well apparently the fact that we've been DIVORCED for a freaking YEAR now means nothing to the moron... I haven't seen him in person for over 5 months, and the last time we talked, I *actually* got along with him and had a civil conversation, I even kinda like his new girlfriend - I've known her as long as I've known him.
But now he wants to talk ****, and why you ask, because he found out through the grapevine that I am engaged to a man who actually: 1. has a full time job that pays well AND has his own car AND can afford to pay his bills, 2. is even tempered/not psychotic and 3. actually loves me for me and actually finds me rather sexy. ;)
As I understand it, him and his currently gf, who he was with while we were getting divorced - and oh yes, that was brought up in Divorce Court - split up for a while and he was fully expecting me to contact one of them and be like "ha ha ha" but I said nothing, and didn't actually find out about it until last week and it happened 2 months ago. That's how OUT OF THE LOOP I am regarding him.
I've posted about this before but he's still flapping his gums about how I should pay 1/2 of the divorce -the divorce that was final uh a YEAR ago! WTF? I did pay my part - most of you know this. I went through the Legal Aid Dept. and did a Pro Se divorce. I paid the $47.50, I filed the paper work, I am the one who practically lived at the Chancery Court office AFTER it was all said and done to make sure I didn't have to pay the court fees. And after reading and re-reading my FINAL DECREE it says that he absolutely has to pay. I even called the Chancery court today and talked to the clerk yet again, she knows me well now. :) She even pulled my Final Decree out, read it out loud, and then asked me if he could even read and was he stupid. LMAO! He only owes $130!!! That's IT! His girlfriend is a private care nurse, and he's in nursing school - supposedly...it's POCKET change to them. Jenni (the gf) has told me that over and over again... in person, on the phone before I got the # changed, in email... and they REFUSE to pay.

In fact Thursday night, my best friend and her husband were out and Tim and Jenni showed up. JENNI, not Tim, JENNI came over to Mary and said "So is Wendy going to pay her half of the divorce?" and Mary says "I don't know what you're talking about, I've never has that discussion with her before" and Jenni says "Well REMIND her who MY Dad is and that Tim WILL get a lawyer"... and Mary actually laughed - out of being nervous mostly - and said "Sure..." and walked off.
Now #1. I don't care who HER Dad is because SHE has NOTHING to do with this. Her dumb ass was stupid enough to show up to DIVORCE COURT with Tim and his MOMMY.
#2. HE already paid $50 over the course of a YEAR but hey who's counting right? So that shows intent to pay... and in fact I found out today that he set up a PAYMENT ARRANGEMENT several months ago to stop them from going after his ass. The police have already been out to find him 2x so far.
The Chancery court already sent out a couple of documents... and he won't respond, and of course who ever answers the door has never seen him, etc.
GRRR! So today she tells me that their hands are tied at the court house because they've sent out every legal document they can send now and until they get fresh info (where he's working - and he's not working, big surprise there or a new address) they can't do anything else. I could be a ***** and try contempt of court but I don't know... :getyou
#3. He really doesn't want to cause a confrontation with my fiance'. *grins* I honestly think he's incredibly miserable at the idea of me being happy because most of the last year I've been in and out of bad relationships, it's only been in the last 5 months that I've settled down a lot and I really feel good about this relationship - good enough to marry him. ;) I believe due to Mary and Bill (my bf and her dh) running in the same circle, they know that John has a GREAT job, we're financially secure for the most part and it's going to get a whole hell of a lot better because I got a job at the same place John works making more than I ever have in my life, I am also selling AVON and I'm an E-Rep too. Me and John argue but nothing major and even if we do, we make up rather quickly. So there's NO drama here at all 90% of the time. It was only in the beginning of the relationship that we had issues because we were just getting to know each other and it took me quite a while to trust him because of how badly Tim treated me, and he had been a bachelor for quite a while and was set in his ways and not used to a woman being at the house almost 24/7. Anyways, John's treated me better the last 5 months than Tim ever did in the time we were together (Oct. 1999 to April 2008).

Shew this is long... but I just had to get this out... because I've talked to John about it, shown him the Final Decree and now he's just plain pissed off about the whole thing. He's having trouble grasping that Tim really is that immature because John's 41 and Tim's 31 so he believes, like the rest of us, that Tim should get over it and just pay the damn bill.

Comments?

jasmine
05-04-2009, 09:15 PM
well, if it states in your divorce decree that he is the one responsible to pay for it, then don't worry about it, they have nothing on you, it's in writing.
I went through legal aid also and the only thing to paid back then was the court cost, which was around $130 also, and the court ordered him to pay it, he did over time, but I didn't worry about it if it was paid or not, cause it was in writing and court ordered for him to pay it, not me.
Just like I got possesion of a vehicle and he was to sign over the title withen so many days, and it was written that if he didn't sign it over withen that so many days that it was autmatically mine, so I just took my divorce decree to the tag office and showed them, and they made a copy of it and switched it over to my name, no problem.
But, if like you said, he is the one ordered to pay these costs, you shouldn't have to worry about anything.

edited to say~ he's just being a big baby. They'll go after him for payment to the court, not you. Look at him and say
WHAAAAAA LOL

WendyLou75
05-04-2009, 09:26 PM
I know but it's just the aggravation.... I mean really he just needs to get over it, move on. It's so sad that he's so miserable that he thinks he has to try to cause drama. I mean does he honestly think that THIS would cause an issue for me and John? If anything else, I'LL go pay the whole thing and make HIM look like an ass in front of his family/friends.
I don't know if it's true or not, but I heard through a mutual friend who is more friendly towards Tim and Jenni that he saw them at the mall and Jenni was making Tim hold her purse and told him to sit down, shut up and that he would get off "that bench" when she told him to, and he actually agreed. LOL! I don't know, maybe he likes a possessive B****?

atprm
05-04-2009, 09:29 PM
if it's in the divorce decree, it won't matter who her daddy is -- first of all, since they aren't married, who her father is matters none to the court... it's up to HIM to pay that debt, not her -- no court of law would ever make HER pay for HIS debt.

He sounds like a loser to me.

I wouldn't pay it unless your name is mentioned as having to pay it...and that would be the end of all that mess. :)

congrats on your engagement

jasmine
05-04-2009, 09:29 PM
aaaahhhh, maybe he's miserable, and just has to try to spread some of that misery around LOL.

WendyLou75
05-04-2009, 09:33 PM
Oh and let me tell ya about the whole ordeal with the Blazer we had... when we got divorced I decided to sell it, it was dying a slow death...well I couldn't just transfer the title because in THIS state since the title said Tim AND Wendy, not Tim and/or Wendy - I had to get a brand new title so his name wouldn't appear on the new ride. That cost me $86. Blah. Men.

WendyLou75
05-04-2009, 09:39 PM
Oh trust me the Chancery court knows me well... :P It just sucks that everyone's hands are tied about this. I know it's just $47 but it's MY $47.
I don't even understand the need for her to mention HER Dad because money don't mean crapola regarding this situation. I wonder if his MOM knows he's being an ass? Maybe I should tell her. LMAO!
I know she wanted me out of his life as much he wanted me out but yet he continues to create drama.


if it's in the divorce decree, it won't matter who her daddy is -- first of all, since they aren't married, who her father is matters none to the court... it's up to HIM to pay that debt, not her -- no court of law would ever make HER pay for HIS debt.

He sounds like a loser to me.

I wouldn't pay it unless your name is mentioned as having to pay it...and that would be the end of all that mess. :)

congrats on your engagement

ElleGee
05-05-2009, 06:28 AM
I would show him the decree again, tell him to stfu and stop bugging you about it. Then stop talking to him about it after that.. If he keeps bringing it up just say the words "divorce decree' and walk away and end it.

Or tell him if sooooooo worried about it to take you back to court and the judge will tell him the same damned thing. So on top of looking like a dummy he would have to pay court costs

and tell his girlfriend to tell her father to kiss your @ss while wearing a lobster suit ..

sheila_361
05-05-2009, 07:00 AM
Or just not worry about the ex at all, IMO kinda sounds like to me you can't get past him in a way.

jasmine
05-05-2009, 07:07 AM
Or just not worry about the ex at all, IMO kinda sounds like to me you can't get past him in a way.

don't know, but I can say from my past experience, it wasn't the fact that I couldn't get over my ex~ per-say, it was the fact that my ex new how to dig at me and get under my skin, and for some time after the divorce he did in a wierd sense of way have some control over my emotions........ took me a while to totally let it go., and to learn how to totally let it go.
Not saying that this what the OP is going through though.

Or maybe if he acts to much like an ass, threaten a restraining order against him. ?????

iluvmybaby
05-05-2009, 07:58 AM
I would contact the lawyer who handled your divorce and draw up a letter stating about the divorce decree saying he pays it and a offical copy of the part of the decree with the specific place highlighted and send it to him by registered mail with signature confromation. Then, I suggest you start documenting if he/she comes by and maybe you can get a restraining order against them. Sounds like they are both nut jobs

Kelsey1224
05-05-2009, 08:07 AM
I would contact the lawyer who handled your divorce and draw up a letter stating about the divorce decree saying he pays it and a offical copy of the part of the decree with the specific place highlighted and send it to him by registered mail with signature confromation. Then, I suggest you start documenting if he/she comes by and maybe you can get a restraining order against them. Sounds like they are both nut jobs

She didn't use a lawyer. She did all the paperwork herself.

fleabones3
05-05-2009, 12:18 PM
I wouldnt even talk to him, or talk to mutual friends about him. If you do run into the ex or his new b!tch, just tell them both to tell it to the judge, its in the decree and to leave you alone. Dont pay a dang dime -- its his bill and he can pay for it. If he doesnt,thats his problem not yours. He will keep causing you stress if YOU let him. as my MIL says

DONT give someone else your power.

jasmine
05-05-2009, 12:24 PM
She didn't use a lawyer. She did all the paperwork herself.


oh, I thought she went through legal aid.
When I went through legal aid, I had a lawyer, they assigned me one. My lawyer drew up all the paper work/divorce decree and it was set forth before the judge and my soon to be ex at the time.

WendyLou75
05-05-2009, 12:57 PM
Jasmine is exactly right! This is EXACTLY what I am going through! Thanks for understanding!


don't know, but I can say from my past experience, it wasn't the fact that I couldn't get over my ex~ per-say, it was the fact that my ex new how to dig at me and get under my skin, and for some time after the divorce he did in a wierd sense of way have some control over my emotions........ took me a while to totally let it go., and to learn how to totally let it go.
Not saying that this what the OP is going through though.

Or maybe if he acts to much like an ass, threaten a restraining order against him. ?????

WendyLou75
05-05-2009, 01:01 PM
I DID go through Legal Aid, but here in TN, you get selected for a class. They have an attorney at the class and myself and 5 others filled out the paper work, then they gave us a packet and a instructions on how to file, etc. I appeared in court without a lawyer...just answered 2 or 3 questions and it was done.



oh, I thought she went through legal aid.
When I went through legal aid, I had a lawyer, they assigned me one. My lawyer drew up all the paper work/divorce decree and it was set forth before the judge and my soon to be ex at the time.

jasmine
05-05-2009, 01:10 PM
I DID go through Legal Aid, but here in TN, you get selected for a class. They have an attorney at the class and myself and 5 others filled out the paper work, then they gave us a packet and a instructions on how to file, etc. I appeared in court without a lawyer...just answered 2 or 3 questions and it was done.


so either way, it's legal, it's done, the judge signed.

Now it's time for the big baby to pay up!

WendyLou75
05-05-2009, 01:44 PM
Yeah, I know. And I honestly believe he would pay if his gf wasn't pushing him not to pay.

Quaker_Parrots
05-05-2009, 03:03 PM
It is his bill, he has a judgement against him for the amount due. The court will go after him. It is no longer your business, why worry? I cant see the reason why you are even stressing over it? The more you think about it, the more you stay involved with him. Tell your "friends" you are no longer with him and could give less than a damn what he and the GF do or say.

You need to get over him.

fairydana
05-05-2009, 05:07 PM
~Do not let him control you anymore. He is your ex. Leave it there. Dont get yourself worked up into a tizzy over him not paying. As long as you let him upset you and stir up drama in your life, HE HAS CONTROL. Take it away from him.

~I would either pay the bill and be done with it. Or I would just not worry about it, if it only has his name on it then its his responsibility.

pepperpot
05-05-2009, 05:12 PM
~Do not let him control you anymore. He is your ex. Leave it there. Dont get yourself worked up into a tizzy over him not paying. As long as you let him upset you and stir up drama in your life, HE HAS CONTROL. Take it away from him.

~I would either pay the bill and be done with it. Or I would just not worry about it, if it only has his name on it then its his responsibility.

That's what I was thinking.....ask him if you pay the bill will he promise to go away forever and take his girlie with him.......cheap at the price....:agree

Quaker_Parrots
05-05-2009, 05:20 PM
That's what I was thinking.....ask him if you pay the bill will he promise to go away forever and take his girlie with him.......cheap at the price....:agree

If she does that, he wins. It shows that she cares about him enough to pay his bills. I say forget about the whole thing, let the court go after him. It is THEIR business after all, it has nothing to do with you.

If it bothers you that much, make a copy of the decree, highlight where he owes the money, and have your "friends' take it to him when he or she brings it up to them again, and they will.

pepperpot
05-05-2009, 05:21 PM
If she does that, he wins. It shows that she cares about him enough to pay his bills. I say forget about the whole thing, let the court go after him. It is THEIR business after all, it has nothing to do with you.


If he gets lost.....she wins....:agree

fairydana
05-05-2009, 05:28 PM
If he gets lost.....she wins....:agree


My thoughts exactly!