How old would YOU have to be, before you say, no more babies!!

[jasmine]

It seems that there are more and more women that are having children at such a later age, 35, 40, and some after 40.

I had my first when I was 20, then again 23, then much later 34. I met someone later in life that didn't have any children yet so when we got married, I gave him a boy!!
I'll be 36 this year, and he wants another one, he says it's not fair that he only gets one kid, that he wants another. I know I am being selfish (maybe), but I am DONE! I've had 3 c-sections, I have endometriosis, dysplasia.........
Also I think it is soooo unfair for the child to have them at a later age, because there grandparents are already older, my dad will be 65 this year, my mom 54, dh's mom is 60, his dad 62. They arn't able to run and play with them like they use to....... and they will prob. pass away when the child is young, that's always hard to go through.
And myself, I will be 40 when my oldest is 20, 43 with the next, and 54 when my son is 20. I will be THE oldest mommy out there taking him to sports, school activities.
Dh is really wearing me down on this though, but I do not want anymore children, he says it's unfair because I have my other 2, now our son, and he wants more than 1 child.
I mean, I could be a grandma here in about 4-5 years, and my youngest will be aroun 6 then~he will be an uncle!
Back in the day when I started having kids, it was kinda like, have them now and get it over with.

At what age did you have kids, and what would be the oldest you would have one???

[ahippiechic]

I had my son at 16 and my DD at 37. (after my son's deadbeat dad, it took a LONG time to find someone else I would even consider having a child with!)

[jasmine]

I will add though, back then I had alot more strength, but now I have ALOT more patience.

[cabby92]

I had my first two at 17 and 19 and then my bonus baby at 37. I enjoyed the last one so much more. I had more time, interest and money. Oddly enough I even seemed to have more energy. Maybe by then I just realized what was important.

My parents adopted a three year old. She is now 17 and graduates from high school this year. My dad will be 82 when she graduates and my mom will be nearly 76. She is the light of their lives and even though she knows she'll lose them early she says she has no regrets. They have been retired her whole life and it all revolves around her. She knows she'll have the rest of us so she won't be alone.

Family reunions at our house are a hoot. My mom has a 17 year old, I have a 16 year old my and my son has a 13 year old. Try explaining those family dynamics to an outsider...

So maybe you're never too old as long as it's what you want.

[ahippiechic]

LOL Cab, kinda the same here. My son has 2 kids so my 8 year old DD is an auntie, her nieces are 3 yrs and 8 months.

[fleabones3]

36 isnt so bad. I will be 36 in a week and half. Do I want more kids? no, but that is because I have 5 of my own, plus 3 stepkids. Maybe if i had only a couple then 1 more wouldnt be so bad. If I was in your position I would probably consider it more since the oldest are grown and I am assuming out of the house, and it would be nice to give your son a playmate. Also pregnancy helps with endometriosis, but it's up to the both of you.

having a child is a lot of work and responsibilty and it takes a lot out of you-- physically, emotionally, and financially. if you are up for it.. go for it. Now anything over the age of 45 is dangerous IMO

[speedygirl]

I was 28 when I had my first and 32 with my second and that was perfect for us. We were able to accomplish a lot before we had them. What's great for some is not so good for others. It's a personal preference. I see a number of women in our practice who are older and make fantastic parents. My grandmother was 48 when she had my dad and she was around until he was in his mid 40's and he never felt that he didn't get 100% from her. She was always energetic and walked 2 miles a day until she died at 90+. It depends on the woman. My DD is 21 and I'm pushing 54 and we still do a heck of a lot together.

[ElleGee]

I was 18 , 20 and one month shy of 24 when I had my 3.. I got my tubes tied 5 years ago at age 31 after me and my current dh were positive that we didn't want any more kids. DH doesn't have any bio children and thinks mine are enough lol. He's right.

[jasmine]

I was 18 , 20 and one month shy of 24 when I had my 3.. I got my tubes tied 5 years ago at age 31 after me and my current dh were positive that we didn't want any more kids. DH doesn't have any bio children and thinks mine are enough lol. He's right.

you are very one lucky gal! Usually men want there "own" children.

[Vee030473]

I had my kids at 18,20 and 24. Our family felt complete for my husband and I so he had a vascectomy. I guess it is different for everyone. We didn't want anymore. Even if my husband and I divorce(very hypothetical,never will happen) I will not have any more children,so if there were another man in my life,he would have to be okay with that or there would be no us. I hope the best for you on this. Maybe a level headed pro and con talk is called for.

[dinosmom]

I had my one and only child when I was 30. I had a high risk pregnancy, delivery etc etc. DS spent the first month of his life in the hospital and I was in and out of the hospital the first year! Scary stuff! I always thought he was going to be it. Now I have met the absolute PERFECT man. He is EVERYTHING I have ever wanted and MORE. However, he doesnt have any kids of his own. Yet he is so good with kids and I see how he would make a GREAT father! Of course, its still early on in our relationship and we are no where near this stage. But it bothers me....I am so torn. My time is ticking away FAST! LOL

[ElleGee]

you are very one lucky gal! Usually men want there "own" children.

He did at one point.. His first wife was unable to get pregnant. They went thru the whole fertility invitro and all that and it never worked for her..

[ahippiechic]

I was 18 , 20 and one month shy of 24 when I had my 3.. I got my tubes tied 5 years ago at age 31 after me and my current dh were positive that we didn't want any more kids. DH doesn't have any bio children and thinks mine are enough lol. He's right.

My current DH thinks my DD is enough also, I'm thankful for that because I can't have any more anyway. For all intents and purposes, she's his kid too.

[JKATHERINE]

I was 24, 26 (to the day) and 27 when I had my three. Neither of us has done anything "permanent" but right now we're pretty sure we're done. I probably wouldn't have any more after the age of 35.

[sheila_361]

I was done having kids at 22, had my tubes tied after my youngest was born, only wanted 2 kids, got pregnant 12 years after having my tubes tied 3 times miscarried all 3. Hal has no kids and does not want any he says he is fine having 2 grown step sons.

[krisharry]

I had my oldest at 28, middle at 33 and youngest at 35. I got pregnant one more time 2 years ago and lost the baby at almost 6 months. I had a tubal about 6 months after that at 38 although DH would have like more. My body had enough! Plus I am tired!

[galeane29]

I had mine at 17, 20 and 28 and would have loved to have had another a few years ago but had a tubal after the last one. I also have 3 step kids ages 22, 21 and 18.
We are done!

[DAVESBABYDOLL]

Had mine at 18,21,24 and my last one at 36. Got pregnant again at 38 and miscarried. I wouldn't change a thing.

DONE!

[Jenefer3]

I had mine at 18, 19, and 22. At this point in my life I don't want any other kids, once in a blue moon I'll think I do but then I realize I don't. I'll just be happy with "borrowing" friends' babies or buying things for them.

[mabby89]

Hell, I called an end to all that when I was 28.

[socks1211]

i had brooke when i was 30 and daniel when i was 36 i am done dave had a vasectomy after we had daniel
yes at times i would love to have 1 more but we just dont have the room and dave is fixed

[fairydana]

I am 35. I dont have any kids yet. I do hope that its not too late. All these years I knew that I couldnt give a child everything he or she needed. I wasnt in a good place, so I held off. Maybe its not too late for me

[YankeeMary]

Hell, I called an end to all that when I was 28.

Never say never. I had a hysterectomy at 25 and dh a vasectomy. We were the couple guaranteed not to have any more babies. Then 2 years ago, we were blessed with a baby.


I will say it harder physically with a small one now then it was when I was 20 and 23. I do have a bit more understanding and appreciation now. I wouldn't have intentionally gotten pregant at this late in the game but having our Gracie placed in our hearts, it is a bit different.

[Bliss]

I have one child, I had him when I was 18 & I'm 36 now. I will not have anymore (thankgoodness), my sons is almost 18. No way in hell would I ever raise another child, I don't care who's child it maybe.. One was enough..

I think over 40 is a bit old to be having children.

[cuddlebugg]

I had mine when I was 15, 18, 21, and 22. Now I'm 33, sometimes I want another one at other times I'm happy they are the ages they are and that I can't have anymore. My patience level is getting very thin some days between work and the kids and I'm not sure I could handle another infant. However age wise most of my friends are just now starting their families, so I don't think it is too old by any means.

[stetne]

I had my daughter at 19 and my twin sons at 22 - after that my husband said ABSOLUTELY no more (he was terrified we would have another set of twins). Somedays I would love to have another one but then come to my senses and think about the kids I have and how it probably wouldn't be fair to them. I didn't really base my decision to not have any more on my age but more so the age of my kids now. They are 15 & 12 - we are always on the go for sports and friends and activities - I'm just afraid that if I have another baby I won't be able to go to their games when it's 20 degrees outside or when it's raining and missing a game is not a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

[jasmine]

I have one child, I had him when I was 18 & I'm 36 now. I will not have anymore (thankgoodness), my sons is almost 18. No way in hell would I ever raise another child, I don't care who's child it maybe.. One was enough..

I think over 40 is a bit old to be having children.


YIKES!!!

I'm guessing it wasn't a good experience for you??!!

[THEpouty1]

I had my kids when I was between 18 and 25 and have been thinking that I may want another baby in a few years (when I'm 35/36... and no more after that).

[keoka3]

I had my son at 26, and then I had 3 miscarriages after that when I was 35. But he had a daughter at age 17 and he got divorced and was living with me and we got his daughter when I was 45, he worked days went to school nights, and then they got back together with his ex and I kept my granddaughter till she was 6, she didn't want to go home with them, but we moved in with her parents the day her brother was born and I took care of him for 15 mths, my son has custody of both of them and I am the one that is there for the soccer and all the other stuff, and keep them alot every other weekend, now 52.

[ilovecats]

I was 22,24 and 29 when I had mine and was done and happy I finished before I hit the big 3-0.Ten years later after having what I thought were symptoms of early menopause,I realized I was pregnant with #4.The pregnancy was much more difficult as was the starting over again.I don't regret it at all,even on my bad days.You are NOT too old.However if you don't want to do it again,I don't think you should.Your body,your choice.If you feel like you are done,no way should you go through that.

[Bliss]

YIKES!!!

I'm guessing it wasn't a good experience for you??!!


I'll tell you in an email.


ETA: Let me just state so no one thinks I hate my son. I don't hate my son & my thoughts about what I stated has nothing to do with my son. I was very lucky my child very seldom cried, whined, bi*ched... He's an outstanding young man & I'm very proud of him..I couldn't have asked for a more perfect kid.

I had to say something, I know how people are on here can turn nothing into something. I just wanted to clarify so I don't have it thrown in my face at a later time.

[2many]

I had my last one at 31, thank god it was a boy, because at that point I was finished.

[mabby89]

Never say never. I had a hysterectomy at 25 and dh a vasectomy. We were the couple guaranteed not to have any more babies. Then 2 years ago, we were blessed with a baby.


I will say it harder physically with a small one now then it was when I was 20 and 23. I do have a bit more understanding and appreciation now. I wouldn't have intentionally gotten pregant at this late in the game but having our Gracie placed in our hearts, it is a bit different.

I will not physically have another child myself. Congrats to you and your dh for having Gracie, but myself...no more.

[hotwheelstx]

I was born when my mother was 20. She had my brother when she was 36 and I was 16 almost 17. I saw the "toll" it did take on her at 37 and up. She was tired, wasn't used to a boy, didn't really have the energy she had when I was younger.

Don't get me wrong....mom was there for every Halloween, Christmas, birthday, school play, football, sleepover and everything else. She never regretted having my brother. Being pregnant just took it's toll on her. Plus, she went thru the "change" while pregnant.

He'll be 30 this year and I'll be 46 next month. She lived long enough to see to granddaughters being born along with a step-grandson.

As for me I had that fixed when I was 21 and 3 days. I saw how hard it was, how much work, patience, understanding it took with my brother. I vowed I didn't/wouldn't accept the responsibility well. Therefore, I asked my mother for my 21st to sign for me to be "fixed". She did it and I'm still glad to this day that she did.

JMO-Unless you're really high on energy, have a lot to give I think around 30-32 should be considered "old enough".

[whatever]

I am 35. I dont have any kids yet. I do hope that its not too late. All these years I knew that I couldnt give a child everything he or she needed. I wasnt in a good place, so I held off. Maybe its not too late for me

Same here with the age. When my dh and I were younger we didn't want kids AT ALL! lol
Now we are considering it more and more. I only want one if we do. Alot of people around us are having them in their late 30's. I had an abortion when I was 18 and wouldn't change it for nothing. It was the right thing for us then. We weren't ready. Now we have everything we Need (well my dh doesn't think so lol) so we are more responsible etc. to put more energy and attention into a child.

[sheila_361]

I saw on the show The Doctors last week an episode where they were saying more women in their late 40's are having babies now so it now the norm.. Only way I would ever consider is if I would be guaranteed a girl, had 2 boys already..lol

[CLARKS4]

I was almost 21 when my first was born and then 28 with the second one. We decided that was enough for us. So I had my tubes tied.

[jasmine]

also

alot of people just hold off on having a child because they think they are not ready because they don't have the nice home, the nice car, more $$$$. You will never be ready enough for a child, sometimes, you just have to go with the flow.

I'm not saying to be stupid or irresponsible about it, but just saying........