Anyone have experience with transgendered people?

[ilovecats]

I know a child who seems to do a lot of things that looks like he may be transgendered.I am wondering if anyone knows of children who have gone through phases where it looks like there was a problem,when there actually wasn't.I doubt very many people respond to this but if you have ever thought such a thing about a child and were proved right or wrong,I'd love your input.Thanks,Cherie

[speedygirl]

Not any first hand experience. The Real World this season who has a young woman who was born a man and often talks about her issues growing up and reassignment. I can't imagine what a person going through gender identity issues feels.

[monkeygirl]

I think there are several documentories that deal with this. Just curious; How old is the child?


I know a child who seems to do a lot of things that looks like he may be transgendered.I am wondering if anyone knows of children who have gone through phases where it looks like there was a problem,when there actually wasn't.I doubt very many people respond to this but if you have ever thought such a thing about a child and were proved right or wrong,I'd love your input.Thanks,Cherie

[fairydana]

I am sorry that I can be of no help. I have seen tv shows about it. I just cant remember what any of them were.

[buttrfli]

One of my old roommates was transgendered. He was in his 20'd tho, so I really don't have any experience with children.

All I can say is that no matter how he/she is acting or what role in life they are fit into, treat them normally. Nothing worse than being a child and trying to find out where you fit into your own life. Its hard enough trying to figure things out w/o people trying to label you.

[hotwheelstx]

Long story but when I first started dating in the 70's the "boy" that I dated had transgender tendencies. His parents were very conservative and wouldn't hear anything of it. He dressed like a guy, tried to act like one....however, things didn't always work out that way. We dated for 6 years. After many years of feuding with his parents they parted ways. To my knowledge they're on a "have to" speaking agreement.

That's been over 30 years ago. I can honestly say that he changed his sex from m to f (operation) as of 10 years ago. We're still the greatest of friends. I wish her nothing but the best. BTW my parents never said a word about this person wanting to be transgender. Back then it really wasn't talked about or asked about. They accepted it for what he wanted to become. I can honestly say that "David" tried to be everything a man is.....dressing, talking, walking, basketball, baseball, football, boy scouts, cub scouts....he always came back to wanting to do "girl things" as he used to tell me.


Here's some sites that might help:

http://www.transactiveonline.org/

http://transactive.blogspot.com/2008/05/dsm-v-kenneth-zucker.html

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=3088298

http://www.lauras-playground.com/

http://www.childrenastheyare.org/

http://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk/

Books:

True Selves: Understanding Transsexualism: For Families, Friends, Coworkers, and Helping Professionals
by Mildred L. Brown and Chloe Ann Rounsley

Mom, I need to be a girl
by Just Evelyn

Our Trans Children
A Publication of the Transgender Network of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG), 3rd Edition

Why Don't You Tell Them I'm a Boy? Raising a Gender-Nonconforming Child
by Florence Dillon

When I met this person transgender had already started to become a "problem" with him. I can honestly say that from the day "David" came out to his parents his life was never the same again. They've never accepted having 2 daughters instead of 1.

Let me state that she has a Masters in restaurant mgmt., has had the same partner for the last 25 years, has no problem telling anyone about her sex change operation, is still the one person in my life that I trust with everything. She has created a life that she loves and wouldn't trade any of the "bad" for anything.

I will say that we do have a good laugh once in awhile about I knowing him/her both ways. Plus, she's over 6'6. I can honestly say that if you didn't know "David" before you'd never be able to tell she was a he before. She had extensive to shave down adams apple, took hormone therapy for over 15 years (he was a very hairy man), tone down muscle tissue.

We now joke that she's a better looking woman than I am and I was born one, naturally. We're the same age.....difference is only 2 months.

I can tell you also that when my mother passed away 2 1/2 years ago that she was the only one "truly" there when it mattered. Also, when my mother became ill in 05. She and my mother had very long talks about the "good ol' days" and how accepting, loving, caring my family was to her while going thru teenage years. I can truly say she's still one in a million......male or female.....it makes no difference to me. They're still the same loving, caring, kind person that I met over 30 years ago.

[ilovecats]

I think there are several documentories that deal with this. Just curious; How old is the child?

The child in question is 3-4.He is obsessed with the musical"Annie".He want's to watch it all the time,sings the songs over and over and at home likes to refer to his mom as "Mrs Hannigan"and she is supposed to refer to him as Annie.He doesn't own a dress(obviously)So he wears the longest t-shirt he has with a sweater over it so it looks like he is wearing a skirt.When he insists his name is Annie and someone disagrees,He makes it quite clear that he is a girl and his name is Annie.Still not quite clear if this is just an "Annie"phase or something more.

[ilovecats]

One of my old roommates was transgendered. He was in his 20'd tho, so I really don't have any experience with children.

All I can say is that no matter how he/she is acting or what role in life they are fit into, treat them normally. Nothing worse than being a child and trying to find out where you fit into your own life. Its hard enough trying to figure things out w/o people trying to label you.

I completely agree.I feel so bad for people who's families can't accept who they are.How sad.

[msmom79]

At 3-4 years old,children play out things,that they see on t.v. Or on tapes-just cause he watches this show over and over doesnt mean anything,and because he say's he annie doesnt mean anything
maybe he just likes the way she is in the show,so he's trying to imatate her-
even if the child turns out to be transgender,who cares as long as he is happy-i say just let it go ,we all played out scenes that we liked in shows,we mimmicked make-up,hair styles,shirts,pants,everything that all the t.v.stars were doing and wearing-sometimes its just a phrase they go through.jmoo

[Urban Cowgirl]

The child in question is 3-4.He is obsessed with the musical"Annie".He want's to watch it all the time,sings the songs over and over and at home likes to refer to his mom as "Mrs Hannigan"and she is supposed to refer to him as Annie.He doesn't own a dress(obviously)So he wears the longest t-shirt he has with a sweater over it so it looks like he is wearing a skirt.When he insists his name is Annie and someone disagrees,He makes it quite clear that he is a girl and his name is Annie.Still not quite clear if this is just an "Annie"phase or something more.

IMO at that age its way too early to determine, especially if its just this one example. Of course I'm no therapist either.

[ilovecats]

At 3-4 years old,children play out things,that they see on t.v. Or on tapes-just cause he watches this show over and over doesnt mean anything,and because he say's he annie doesnt mean anything
maybe he just likes the way she is in the show,so he's trying to imatate her-
even if the child turns out to be transgender,who cares as long as he is happy-i say just let it go ,we all played out scenes that we liked in shows,we mimmicked make-up,hair styles,shirts,pants,everything that all the t.v.stars were doing and wearing-sometimes its just a phrase they go through.jmoo


IMO at that age its way too early to determine, especially if its just this one example. Of course I'm no therapist either.

I was actually thinking today if he were insisting he was spiderman or something like that it wouldn't seem so odd.Maybe it is a phase.Kids can be so silly sometimes it is probably too early to tell.

[ElleGee]

He could become one of the greatest future musical producers :) And you can say " I remember him when...." hehe idk

[buglebe]

I grew up with a child who's sex was undetermined at birth. They decided he was a boy and started raising him as one. He had all kinds of psychological problems. At about age 8 they decided he should have been a girl. You must remember I am 64 and that was before all the tests they have now. They changed him from male to female and changed his name. She continued , at the dr's advice, to go to the same elementary school, took hormones and became a woman.
I know one other transgendered person but didn't know him/her as a child.

[sheila_361]

I would think it was just a phase he was going through, and will outgrow or till he finds a new show that he really likes and will imitate that then.. But if not, no big deal really if he wants to be a girl.

[buttrfli]

When my DD was 3 she played in the mud, wore boys cowboy boots (ALL the time!) played with trucks, was obsessed with Bob the Builder, and she hated bows and dresses.. I never once thought that she might be transgendered. Kids do what they like to do and who are we to say what they should and shouldn't like when it comes to stuff like that?

Its probably just a phase considering the age. Nothing wrong with little boys who love to sing showtunes. If hes happy then THATS what is important :)

[YankeeMary]

I agree with him just being a kid and having a good imagination. Not only that I love Annie myself...hehe. I just hope that this line of thinking means anything because if it means something we are in trouble here. As Gracie's favorite movies are Tarzan and Jungle boy...lol. She might grow up wanting to be a monkey...HAHA!!! Sorry I had to.

[buglebe]

I agree with him just being a kid and having a good imagination. Not only that I love Annie myself...hehe. I just hope that this line of thinking means anything because if it means something we are in trouble here. As Gracie's favorite movies are Tarzan and Jungle boy...lol. She might grow up wanting to be a monkey...HAHA!!! Sorry I had to.


Oh yes, and as a child we got to go see a Tarzan movie pretty often. We played Tarzan too. We were all girls. My girlfriend was always Tarzan, I was Boy, my sister was Cheeta , we didn't have Jane, and we played with ropes swinging off her large person size Toy house in the back yard.

[iluvmybaby]

I wish that I could look at the world through through innocent eyes. It has been so long most of us don't remember pretend, make believe. Growing up, we didnt have video games or expensive toys, but we had good imaginations. It sounds like he is having a wonderful time, having clean innocent fun.

If you are REALLY worried about this, then buy him Spiderman the movie or JI Joe or something "manily"


ElleGee He could become one of the greatest future musical producers And you can say " I remember him when...." hehe idk

I was just thinking that, the most brilliant acts of music and plays came from eccentric people

[ilovecats]

Thank you all for the input.I wanted to hear how others viewed this and it is great to hear so many opinions.

[sheila_361]

I can remember playing Batman and Robin with the boys who lived down the street when I was about 5 or 6 years old...

[Airbuswife]

my neighbor boy (bellas boyfriend, lol!) is 4 and is obsessed with the movie Mama Mia. he knows all the songs, pretends he's in the movie and just loves doing karaoke with lots of dance steps. I have no problem with that, i think its great that he loves music! who cares what kind of music, he's getting creative and thats what matters. i also know he's 100% boy, but some day he might not be and thats quite alright with me. accept PEOPLE as who they ARE, not what you want them to be. if everyone did that and respected each other, this would be a totally different world....