My husband died

[dw172]

As many of you know my husband had esophageal cancer. He died March 1, 2009. The week before he died his 2 daughters and their mothers showed up (i was his 3rd wife). His daughters are grown, 1 is 41 and the other is 23.
All they could talk about for the 5 days they were here, was what they wanted when he died! I really did not think it was the time or place for this. They were acting like it was a big party. After they left, his 2 sons came and were very nice and helpful and let me know that i was welcome to visit at anytime and if i needed anything to let them know. I have sent each of them something, but the daughters want more. I try to be nice, but it makes me so made that all they can think of is what they can get out of it.:nono
Thanks for letting me vent!
Sandie

[atprm]

if it's not in his will ... they shouldn't get anything.

I hope he had a Quit Claim deed and will in place???

[speedygirl]

I'm sorry for your loss. Hopefully his dd's back off and don't add anymore grief to your life.

[gmyers]

You can tell peoples morals I believe by the way they act when someone dies. Some people swoop down like a bunch of vultures. I'm sorry for your loss and I hope the daughters don't make it harder for you. His sons sound nice though.

[BeanieLuvR]

I'm so sorry for your loss. :hug I wouldn't give them anything else. What a shame all they had on their minds was what they could get instead of saying goodbye to your husband. I have lost both of my parents and what I was going to get was the furthest thing from my mind. In fact it never even crossed my mind.

[shadowcats]

the only thing i would give them if i was you , would be family pics, of them before you and he married, other wise , if he specified any thing he wanted them to have,,, other than that , they dont deserve anything, he was your husband , life mate, etc, and they were just his kids. i know he died of cancer and not an accident , so he had plenty of time to let you know what he wanted , and im sure he wouldnt be happy with them being so tacky as to be trying to take advantage of a grieving widow,,,,,, so tell them to their faces , if he had wanted them to have your things he would have given them to them when he was alive, and they are being tacky and need to back off. you ll want to give yourself time to get used to being with out him and maybe later you feel like giving them things your not attached to , but for right now hold on to your things and dont feel bad they dont have any right to anything aquired durning your marriage , and even stuff he had before , its inplyed in your vows that he gives his worldy good to you , and yours to him,
so feel free to tell them off,
or just dont even talk to them if they persist. and im sooooooo sorry for your loss, hes your angel now dear.
sharon

[April78945]

I'm sorry for your loss :(

When my grandfather had his first heart attack when I was 12, my aunt who is 9 years older than I, went through the house with little colored circles "marking" what she wanted when he died. Even at 12 I knew that was beyond tacky and classless and took all the stickers off before my grandfather got home from the hospital. He didn't pass away for another 17 years thankfully :)
What sucks is the ***** took everything. EVERYTHING. Including the house. I got his memories, our memories, and I got to know the fact that I was his favorite and didn't need to fight over stupid material things.
So sorry I just hijacked your thread. I am very deeply sorry for your loss and hope his daughters can gain some class

[LitWtch]

Sandy - I'm so very sorry for your loss.

As his surviving wife, those selfish bioches have no claim to anything other than what he left them in his will, unless you give it to them. From their actions, I personally wouldn't give them anything. The sons, on the other hand, well, they deserve a giant hug for their compassionate handling of the situation. I hope all turns out well.

[ElleGee]

^what she said^

I am very sorry about your dh :hug

[sheila_361]

so sorry for your loss..... :hug

[SLance68]

I am sorry for your loss. I personally would send them both a bag of rocks.

[JKATHERINE]

So sorry to hear about your loss, Sandie. :(

[DonnaWV]

I'm so sorry for you loss. My prayers are with you.

[Jackie_Blu]

Im so sorry to hear of your loss. :hug And......so sorry you had to put up with not only his selfish daughters but also their mothers at such an already stressful and grievous time for you. I wouldn't give them anything either, yet, unless he specified. There is time for that later when you've had time to think and decide whether you want to give them something or not. Im glad his sons are being decent to you. I hope you can keep in touch with them..sounds like they are really good people.

[mom3cats]

I am sorry for your loss :(

[Mary Jo]

I am sorry for your loss.
How long were you married?
You did the right thing sending his daughters something. I'm sure many of us here have experienced relatives like them. Just tell them that you need some time, that you don't want to rush into anything and that you will do what he would have thought was right.

[taz69]

So very sorry for your loss.

[buglebe]

It is astonishing to see what family will do in times like this. To me this is when the real goodness (or other) in a person will come out. Yes their father had time to say if he wanted anything for them. Do as some others suggested. Give away nothing for a while. Wait until you are sure of what you want to do with his things.

[hotwheelstx]

First off, I'm truly sorry for your loss. No matter how long you were married, you still are his wife. As for his daughters I would wait but I would give them any photo's of them as children they may of taken with their father.

[CLARKS4]

:hug I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Urban Cowgirl]

So sorry for your loss!

[dinosmom]

I am so sorry for your loss! HUGS

[littlered1]

So sorry!!!! I hope you are doing well!!!!!!!

[hblueeyes]

So sorry for your loss. I hope he went painlessly.

You sent them somethinig. That was more than what was required. Tell them straight up that their greed and disrespect for him and you has left a sour taste in your mouth and there will nothing more forthcoming. You are his heir. Abide by his wishes but do nothing for the greedy b*tches. You owe them nothing.

Me

[fleabones3]

I agree with all the other posters. I am very sorry for your loss, and its people like them that make wills neccassary. If all they can talk about is what they want instead of their father passing, all they deserve is nothing.

[ttistin]

:hug I am so sorry for your loss.

[iluvmybaby]

As many of you know my husband had esophageal cancer. He died March 1, 2009. The week before he died his 2 daughters and their mothers showed up (i was his 3rd wife). His daughters are grown, 1 is 41 and the other is 23.
All they could talk about for the 5 days they were here, was what they wanted when he died! I really did not think it was the time or place for this. They were acting like it was a big party. After they left, his 2 sons came and were very nice and helpful and let me know that i was welcome to visit at anytime and if i needed anything to let them know. I have sent each of them something, but the daughters want more. I try to be nice, but it makes me so made that all they can think of is what they can get out of it.:nono
Thanks for letting me vent!
Sandie

Sounds like that was the reason he divorced his 3rd wife, what a money grubbing butt monkey. If I chose to send someone something, it would be the two sons that came to help you. That was so thoughtful and so kind. I am so sorry for your loss. Brightest Blessings to you

[YankeeMary]

No advice, just sympathy. My heartaches for you. HUGS!!!

[Ambrianna]

I'm so sorry for your loss! :(

:grouphug

I'm sorry for greedy people, too! :nono

[volkswagon7]

I am so sorry for your loss. I understand what you are going through, my DH died on March 5.

[jcw]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[tammy77]

Im so sorry for both of your losses. HUGS

[fairydana]

Sandie, I am so sorry for your loss! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

:hug

[VALENA-)45]

Ladies, I am very sorry for your losses. I hope and pray things will get better for the both of you soon.

[Shann]

I'm so sorry, my thoughts are with you :hug

[sandooch]

I am so sorry for your loss and will keep you in my prayers.

[marquez8370]

sorry about ur loss will keep u in my prayers

[baragabrat]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[magickay]

Extending my heartfelt sympathies for your loss. Be strong, and keep him close in your heart...

[Mary Jo]

Once again let me say how sorry I am that you lost your husband.
Did his daughters help you or him while he was sick?
Maybe they would like to have some of the bills?
All kidding aside, take your time deciding what they should get. You need time for yourself and to decide what you are going to do next.
Take care of yourself first.
Hugs.

[155oaks]

I am sorry for your loss.

[Char]

No advice really... but, so very sorry for your loss.

Ummmm, I understand how it must seem, but, if it were my Dad, I'm sure there would be a few things I would want, things that meant something to me.

Use your own judgement... to each his own.

There are some things that maybe they shared while growing up, that mean a lot to them, I dunno... I feel all your pains ! It's a terrible thing when someone passes away.

Everyone grieves in their own way... when Mom asked me to go through my Dads wallet a few days after he passed away, I felt as though I was raping him, Dad's wallet was 'untouchable', if you know what I mean. It was all awful.

Best wishes, deepest sympathy, and, good luck !!

[stellatj]

sorry for both your losses my thoughts and prayers are with you.

[NCgranny]

I am so sorry to here of your loss. My prayers are all i can offer...

[dw172]

Thanks- it has been 2 months now and my sister in law and i still live together.We are doing good and i have taken over his jobs of mowing our lawn and the neighbors lawn, trimming the hedges, etc. I repainted our bedroom, regrouted the tile in the bathroom and kitchen.
I talk to both sons evey week, but the daughters just wanted to see what they could get and now i never hear from them, but my husband only heard from them when they wanted something!
We are planning to move to West virginia in the next year and we will both retire.
Sandie

[belle5691]

Im glad things seem to be working out for you better. And glad you are close with your sister in law to help with the sad times.

[janelle]

Glad things worked out ok. Sorry for your loss. When my mother died I gave all the things my siblings gave to her back to them. It means something to them but I knew what the things were so was not any trouble for me. I hope things have settled down for you now and you don't need to worry about it anymore.

[tsquared]

Good to hear things are getting better and you have someone you can talk to and listen to.

[jcw]

glad you're doing ok

[gmyers]

Glad you're doing good. Its nice to have someone to live with it makes things easier.

[peaceluver]

I am so sorry for your loss. It's a shame that people show their true colors at a time like this.

[NCgranny]

I am so sorry for your loss....

[catdance]

Man I am so sorry for your loss..seems your world may have gotten a bit quieter...I send HUGE HUGS.......

[Kelsey1224]

Thanks for the update. I'm glad to hear that things are settling down.

[simojt_jef]

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[chesterkil]

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