So depressed

[Fiabug]

I haven't posted in awhile. I log in view a few threads then go on to something else.

A month and half ago my Mom who my daughter and I live with lost her job. Which is really tough as I have been unemployed for sometime. One good thing is she is getting partial social security, however it's just a little short of paying the rent and well the bills um well thats not payable at this point but at least due to her taxes she was able to catch up the bills but that won't help us for next month.

She and I have both have had no luck in finding a job. She did at least have an interview but she didn't get the job.

I just don't know what we're going to do. I'm seriously depressed as well as my mother. I feel like a failure as a daughter and a failure to my mother.

What makes me even more depressed is my father (parents are divorced) suggested that I proceed trying to get disability. However I get my yearly statement from Social Security statement that gives me my estimated benefits if I were of retirement age. It specifically tells me I don't have enough credits to get disability.

I haven't even tried going to the doctor to go through all to get diaganosed as disabled really. But what gets me is a girl upstairs who has never really worked who's a few years younger than me gets some sort of disability, at least $500 a month and I'm not sure how she gets it. She has had one job that I've heard her speak about and thats it and I know she didn't work there long enough to get the credits enough to get it.

Anyways I'm not trying to screw the system at all. I just don't know what to do and am almost about to cry because I can't help my Mom out right now.

Thanks for listening to me whine. :(

[LitWtch]

If you are disabled medically, then you can qualify for disability regardless if you have the "points" or credits. Go to the doctor and get done what you need to - but that can take a good long time to process.

Unemployment? Is your mother getting that fromm the job she lost? Have either gone to a temp agency? It is not easy. We just recently went through this with DH. He went to a temp agency and worked for a bit, then found a "regular" job but it was not enough. He took a contract job overseas. You do what you have to do.

[buglebe]

I read this earlier and passed on by without responding but I see that 18 others plus me have done the same thing. I don't know your situation or why you would qualify for disability but since you say you don't have enough credits, then that is not an option. Wishing for it to be true is not going to change things. I have been depressed and I know depression can stop you in your tracks. You say you and your child have been living with your mom for a while now. My advice is going to sound harsh but this is what I suggest. Get yourself to a dr and get on an antidepressant. And start walking or exercising or doing anything you can to get your body moving. I know that is the last thing you want to hear. Medication and exercise are the only 2 things I know that will help depression. Your mom raised you. If you are old enough to have a child you are not her responsibility anymore. If you want to live together and both contribute to the household budget , that is good. But get yourself well first and then get a job and take care of your child. There are jobs out there. It just depends on whether you feel they are beneath you. At least I think there are. I am sure if I am wrong I will be corrected.

[gmyers]

I would call and talk to someone about the disability that way you'll find out for sure. They may make exceptions it depends on what you have. I wish you and your mom good luck finding a job. Its getting so hard to find jobs anymore.

[Quaker_Parrots]

You say you have a daughter, where is her father in this picture? You should be at least getting child support from him. If he is deceased, she can draw on his Social Security.

[baragabrat]

Before 1972, I worked a little...not much. I married then and when I finally did go to work in 1990, I worked for 10 years. In 2001 I went on full disability. It took 2 months to qualify. Check into it. You might find that you do qualify. Best of luck to you!

[ahippiechic]

You don't have to have a certain number of credits if you are medically disabled. See your Dr.

[155oaks]

hang in there don't relay on "disability to get by" no! start feeling better about yourself pick up your up.

cut your hair, toss out your old dated clothes, spruce yourself up. Being in a happy spirit and frame of mind could help you.

redo a resume, make changes that stand out.

you can do it, do it for your daughter. my sister in law is in a situation like yours I really try to get her to get over her hump, it is hard I see it in her. Her 16 y.o daughter got a job at mcdonalds and gives her mom her pay checks for the bills. that breaks my heart.

[dv8grl]

I love how people can't wait to get on disability, so they don't have to work..... yet I see disabled people trying and WANTING to work, at the grocery store bagging my groceries or stocking shelves, at Goodwill putting clothes on hangers, some from wheelchairs, some use walkers, crutches, etc...

[uholt]

Have you thought of volunteering for the many places that need help? Yes, I know youre depressed but you need to get out among others. Why sit in the house thinking about your depression, why not do something to get your mind off it like helping others? Sometimes employers look at your resume for volunteering, it shows that at least you are doing something not sitting at home doing nothing.

[jasmine]

I know this is really hard, and I'm sorry your having to go through this. I've been without nothing and with 2 children before. It's hard, but at the same taught me how to be a fighter and be strong. Is there anyone around with children where you live that you can offer to provide baby-sitting for $$. I watched 2 children in my home for$ and also worked at a church's nursery on Sundays for$$, and I filed for FS.
If you nor your mom work and you have a child, you can atleast get on some FS for the time being untill you get back on your feet~~ that way you can have decent meals and food to eat. I know it's always nice and reassuring that you can provide a good dinner for your child.
Do you live in the city? Put up papers saying you can walk peoples dogs, do some yard work.
Just throwing out some suggestions.
Go outside and get some fresh air and take a walk with your kiddo and laugh~enjoy the free things in life with your child~~ you and your daughter will have fun. I know it helped me and my kids alot.

[whatever]

You say you have a daughter, where is her father in this picture? You should be at least getting child support from him. If he is deceased, she can draw on his Social Security.

That's what i was wondering as well.
You could babysit in your home maybe? I know around here there are not alot of job openings either. But like someone posted above I'm sure there are fast food places still hiring for daytime help possibly.
I understand you are depressed about not having a job and finances are bad. I have had major depression before. And Personally I don't feel thats a reason for people to always be on disability. IMHO. There are so many things out there to help people today with it. Way more than there was when I went thru it. I still have bouts with mine. You could qualify for welfare right now till you find a job. And title 19 (I think I am not sure on all this stuff) and get some help with your depression. I truly hope things look up for you.

[OkeDoke]

On the statement it should say you get $X,XXX.00 a month for disability, atleast that is what mine says.

[gmyers]

Her disability might be something besides depression. She said she was depressed because of the situation which I can relate to. I hope there are jobs where she is I've seen so many people on the news saying no one seems to be hiring where they are. I wish you and your mom good luck finding a job. Don't feel bad about checking into disabilty if you have one. Theres no shame if you have health problems that keep you from working.

[Fiabug]

I appreciate all your comments. I am better today even though things aren't any different.

I'm still up in the air about even going through all the things I would have to do to apply for disability. I have a little too much pride sometimes and thats what sometimes makes me not want to go try for it.

Someone asked if my daughter's father sends child support, he does. He use to not help out very much but has doing better the past year. Thankfully he's sending money this week to help my mother make rent for this month, which is a big weight lifted off her shoulders and my shoulders as well.

Again thanks for all your responses.

[krisharry]

See a dr., if you are truly disabled get the ball rolling on that. If you are clinically depressed a dr. can diagnose you and provide treatment options for you. If you are able to work and just can't find a job, get out there everyday dressed for work and look for work. Apply everywhere, put out flyers for services you can provide, exercise, do some free activities w/your daughter, get involved in the community. Be proactive, sitting around being depressed will not help your situation. Good luck.