another vent I am scared

[taz69]

The ring and such were bad enough-I know me and the kids are going to have to move because hubby is such a crude and did not-what a shock-live up to his part of the payment agreements. Have a lawyer now-doing all the filing, etc-but in the meantime me and the kids are having to get rid of 16 years of memoreies-only keeping the bare minimum. I have absolutely reached my limit-I do not even want to get up in the mornings. It is so hard to smile and pretend it is all ok-when the kids are upset about having to get rid of their things-we have to find a home for our dogs-I am losing it-can't stop crying-help help help help help help help help help help help help

[fleabones3]

I am so very very very sorry. That absolutely sucks to have to move and get rid of the pets and stuff. What a jerk.

[lucimPI]

Oh taz, I am so sorry, for you and your children. It is so not right for that to be happening. My thoughts are with you and a great big :hug for you.

[taz69]

help help help help help help help help help help help help

[nightrider127]

Taz, I am so sorry that all this is happening to you. I wish I knew the words that would brighten your day. Please know that you and your kids are in my thoughts and prayers.

Try your best to be strong. I know a lot of people here would agree with me when I say we are here for you, anytime you want to scream, cuss or cry.

[pepperpot]

:hug so sorry this is happening to you, please hang in there....:hug

[ilovecats]

:grouphug Hang in there sweetie.As bad as things are,it always works out in the end.Just get through this,things will work out for you.

[kidzpca]

prayers being sent your way Taz...

[BeanieLuvR]

Praying for God to give you strength. :hug

[gmyers]

I'm sorry he didn't keep his word. I'll keep you in my prayers that it all works out for you.

[msmom79]

it does get better-sometimes it just takes a little time hugs and prayers to you and your children

[Unicornmom77]

Hang in there sweetie! I feel so bad for you and your kids! I will be praying for you and them! And also for your husband that he may find peace and the strength to stand up be a real man.

[Quaker_Parrots]

Be sure to get everything through the court, dont trust him to pay once everything is said and done. Make sure his payments come out of his checks. Tennessee will make him keep their promises. If he doesnt pay, they will garnishee his checks and/ or go after his tax refunds.

[dv8grl]

:hug It'll get better soon :hug

:grouphug

[YankeeMary]

Ok here it is...GET A GRIP!!! You can do this. It seems more then it really is. You are not getting rid of 16 years of memories. You are getting rid of STUFF. You will always have your memories. Your children will bounce back, way better then you will. They are amazing. I understand how bad you feel about everything but for starters you didn't do this. You didn't choose this. He did. I know how hard it is been there but I also know that it can and will get better. You just have to want that and you can have that. The worse part is having to find new homes for your doggies. Everything else can be replaced. Just keep telling yourself you will replace it one day and it will be way better then the one you rid of. Its so very hard and even feels impossible to remain positive. You have to so that the children are able to move past this. You are entitled to breakdowns etc but the children need to know that you are in control and that you are going to take care of everything.
Try to remember that he is a jerk and he created this. You didn't do anything. His day is coming just wait and see. And when it does come, you will be sitting there basking in your success and having pity on him. You are a strong woman and you can grow from this and have a great life with you and your kids. My heart breaks for you as I know you feel so bad and feel like you can't move on but you can and will. HUGS!!!

[sheila_361]

*HUGS* Hang in there things will get better, it just takes time, don't let the jerk bring you down...

[iluvmybaby]

The ring and such were bad enough-I know me and the kids are going to have to move because hubby is such a crude and did not-what a shock-live up to his part of the payment agreements. Have a lawyer now-doing all the filing, etc-but in the meantime me and the kids are having to get rid of 16 years of memoreies-only keeping the bare minimum. I have absolutely reached my limit-I do not even want to get up in the mornings. It is so hard to smile and pretend it is all ok-when the kids are upset about having to get rid of their things-we have to find a home for our dogs-I am losing it-can't stop crying-help help help help help help help help help help help help

I would contact the court, if he is ordered to pay child support, you need to make sure they know he isnt paying

[LuvBigRip]

BTDT: I have to agree with YM. I know it feels like your world is crumbling around you, but you have children who need you to be strong. Being depressed is inevitable right now, but channel that depression into a little healthy anger at your ex for being an ass. He is hurting you through your children. He is using your kids.

Let me offer a little bit of BTDT advise. Take the high road. I know it is hard, but under no circumstances should you trash him to your children. Kids are smart little suckers and will figure out who was there, who sacrificed and who was the bigger person all on their own. It may take a while, they may say or do hurtful things because they are angry too. But it is worth it in the end. I can pretty much guarantee you that if your ex is already renegging on financial agreements, he will trash you. He will call you names. He will involve the kids in his games. Let your kids know that names will never hurt you.

If you can, find counseling for you and the kids. I wish you luck, but what you need is strength. I can pray for that for you, but you are going to have to find it within yourself. All of us Mom's have it in spades.

Cry in the bathroom where your kids cannot hear you.
Vent here when you need to.
Love your kids more than you hate your ex.

[Anniston]

Hugs to you. Getting rid of all the "stuff" is much better than living in a bad situation, teching your kids the wrong values because you put up with being treated less than what is o.k.

I am so sorry for your loss of pets. Hopefully, you could find someone who would let you see them?

[CLARKS4]

BTDT: I have to agree with YM. I know it feels like your world is crumbling around you, but you have children who need you to be strong. Being depressed is inevitable right now, but channel that depression into a little healthy anger at your ex for being an ass. He is hurting you through your children. He is using your kids.

Let me offer a little bit of BTDT advise. Take the high road. I know it is hard, but under no circumstances should you trash him to your children. Kids are smart little suckers and will figure out who was there, who sacrificed and who was the bigger person all on their own. It may take a while, they may say or do hurtful things because they are angry too. But it is worth it in the end. I can pretty much guarantee you that if your ex is already renegging on financial agreements, he will trash you. He will call you names. He will involve the kids in his games. Let your kids know that names will never hurt you.

If you can, find counseling for you and the kids. I wish you luck, but what you need is strength. I can pray for that for you, but you are going to have to find it within yourself. All of us Mom's have it in spades.

Cry in the bathroom where your kids cannot hear you.
Vent here when you need to.
Love your kids more than you hate your ex.

Very well said.
I have never been in your situation before so I have no advice other than get counseling. It will help you and the kids.
:hug we are here for you

[Mary Jo]

We are here for you.
It may take a while but things will get better.
Hugs to you.

[deb_gar]

:hug

[fairydana]

We believe in you taz! You have all of us praying and keep you in our thoughts. The most important things at this point in time is you and your kids. You can find a great home for your doggies. I know it hurts. Take care of the important things and everything else will fall into place. Your life will never be the same but that doesnt mean its going to be bad. You can make it a positive move and your kids will follow your lead.
Do not give him the power of seeing you give up.
we are here for you! :hug

[taz69]

Thanks so much to all of you! I was SOOOOO down-but now I can face it-know it is going to hurt-but with so many people caring-I can do this

[ilovecats]

You WILL get through this!Sometimes things happen and it feels like the end of the world but they always change.I have worried myself sick over things in the past that are all over now.At the time it seemed hopeless,but things do have a way of working out in the end.

[peaceluver]

(((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))) I know it doesn't feel like it now but things will get better. Be strong for yourself and your kids.

[wings47]

TAZ hold on! if you neeed to talk-call me collect. 352 728-6185. Move away from TN (although I would love to live there). I lost my husband to sucide and it may not be the same as what you are going through -- but it is the same. You understand what I mean!

[Eyore]

wings 47, It is nice of you to want to help, but I wouldn't put my phone number up here on the board like you have it. You will have all kinds of people calling you. You might just PM (private message) it to her.

[Eyore]

taz, hope things start getting better for you soon. I have no real advice to give you. :hug

[mosdata1]

Taz, please remember to also ask for spousal support, even if only on a temp basis. If you even just get it for a few months, it can help you get back on your feet. I think the 2 of you were living together long enough for you to qualify - just ask your lawyer the next time you are to see him & also ask if he include at least a part of his fees to be paid for by your ex.

You have the support of all of your friends (here & IRL), family, and your children - you will come out on top!

[WtPlover]

You and your children are in my thoughts and prayers that you may be blessed and don't you worry child support enforcement will take care of the jerk and it will be worse on him then it has been on you take care
http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii188/Poohlover92499/pooh-103.gif

[buglebe]

Taz, I am glad you are feeling stronger. That feeling of giving up and not being able to go forward is an awful feeling to have especially when you have others depending on you. There are so many of us who are here for you , either on line or by phone. I know I would be happy to listen to you. Sometimes that is all we need, is some one to listen, to bounce our ideas off of and to feel like some one cares. I care as do many others on here. If you are interested in talking by phone please let me know.
Sondra

[kybeauty]

Taz I am praying for you and your children...If you need anything PLEASE feel free to pm me....
~hugs~