I am so stressed

[smileyeyes]

I am so stressed out and I have been crying all afternoon. I am so tired of the strugling like every other American to pay the bills. My Dh has not worked all year not cause he doesn't want to but because he can't find a job and no I am facing a layoff. We have gone through all of our savings trying to pay bills and I just can't do it anymore. I try to talk to him and he thinks I am fussing at him for not working and I am not I just don't know who else to talk to.

THIS SUCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[pepperpot]

:hug

[gmyers]

I know how you feel money problems can drive you crazy. We're in debt really bad because we don't have insurance and it can really make you crazy sometines. I'll pray your husband finds a job and you don't get laid off or you find a better paying job. I wish ya'll the best. It's getting harder and harder for people just to make it these days.

[EMSnurse]

{{{hugs******

[dawn827]

((((((BIG HUGS)))))))

My family and I went/going through the same thing. My fiancee was laid off unexpectedly in October and at the time I was a stay at home mom of 2 girls. Thankfully, he found another job in December but isn't making nearly what he was. I also had to head back to work in January. With both our incomes combined now we are making what he was with the job that laid him off. It's so crazy how fast everything has changed.

I know completely what you are going through. IT DOES SUCK! We are still trying to catch up on all of our bills which have now ballooned. Between car payments, insurance, school loans, utilities, RENT, food and the daily expenses of raising two children...our paychecks are out the door as soon as we get them. We have already depleted our savings and at this point, I don't think we will ever be able to save any money any time soon.

Your not alone. If you need to talk, pm me.

[MsLynn]

trust me you are not alone. I work one full time, 2 part times and 2 as needed jobs on a call in basis, and still barely get by. I feel so bad that my son has to spend so much time at his grandparents but I have to pay the bills. It makes me feel so hopeless at times I can't stand it

[CLARKS4]

:hug it will get better. We are in the same situation but I have learned to not let it bother me to the point of going crazy. It takes a while to learn that though.

[April78945]

((hugs)) I'm sorry you are going through this.

[Shann]

:hug

[BeanieLuvR]

I hope things get better for you. :hug

[BrightEyes]

:hug :hug I love you my Windi, don't make me come to SC and kick Mike's butt for making you cry!

I am here if you need to chat, you know how to reach me anytime.

[Urban Cowgirl]

hugs to you.

[Mary Jo]

I am so sorry.
I know exactly how you feel. I pray everyday while driving to work that I still have a job when I get there. There is just way too many people in the same situation. I'll keep you in my prayers.

[dv8grl]

I try to talk to him and he thinks I am fussing at him for not working and I am not I just don't know who else to talk to.


Maybe when you have to sell everything & live in your car he'll want to talk.

Are there NO JOBS available., or NO JOBS that he wants to work?
I've taken some pretty sh!tty jobs in order to support just myself., I think someone with a family would take ANY job in order to survive.

[smileyeyes]

There are literally NO JOBS around here - NOT EVEN McDonald's . And then I get pissed cause he sleeps till noon and I know its cause he is depressed but hell I am to but I pull my butt out of bed and go to work, clean the house, cook dinner, and go to school full time. I just don't know how americans can do this anymore. Something has got to give

[atprm]

There are a lot of us in the same boat --

you are probably going to have to cut back tremendously -- eliminate cable tv (get the converter box which is awesome btw -- lots of CLEAR channels and there will be more in February)...
learn to coupon and stockpile heavily (that can save you up to 100% on your grocery bills)
get on the even billing utility programs -- that way whatever funds you do have will be the same each month.
consider going to a pre-paid cell phone instead of the "plan" phones
give up long distance on your house phone, or get vonage or uverse instead.

I would never suggest getting rid of your internet, because not only can it be entertainment, it can also be to find a job, read the "paper", do banking, etc...anymore, it's too vital a resource to not have.

If you have medical bills that are unpaid -- you CAN deduct them, and the premiums you pay plus the co-pays on your income taxes!!!! (keep that in mind).

[smileyeyes]

We have alredy done that. The only reason I have internet @ home is because hte VA pays for it so I can got o school to finish my degree. to get a better job. This is the 1st time we have has internet in 4 years. We have no cable TV my mom pays my cell bill. I have no car payment because I had to give up my car payment car to make ends meet. We moved to a cheaper house last july to save money so we are not eligible for levelized billing with the electric company yet (you have to be with them for a year) I have saved every where I can. No one can tell me that I do not know what sacrafice is I have given up a lot more than I ever thought I would have to. I have sold off more things than I knew you could sell just to pay the power bill cause I make $10 more than what I should to qualify for assistance. And I know that there are A LOT more people going through this I be NO MEANS think I am the ONLY ONE IT IS JUST HARD!! AND I DON'T SEE AN END IN SIGHT!!

[atprm]

I wasn't bashing you -- just trying to give you some suggestions if you haven't already tried them yet --

sheesh.

[SLance68]

I know it sounds crazy but have you considered asking your employer to lower your pay by the 10.00 to be able to get the assistance? I know it is crazy but that small reduction might actually make it easier for you and your family. As for DH - well I would have kicked him off the couch and I don't care if he is depressed he can certainly clean the house and cook dinner. I understand that depression is a very serious thing but if you are not going to seek help for it - it isn't going to get any better by sleeping all day. And you are not going to find a job even if it is mopping floors by sleeping all day and getting pissy with you when you bring it up. Make him accountable for his actions - he can certainly do housework if you are working outside the home and he isn't. Sending you hugs and hope for strength to deal with him. Good Luck.

[krisharry]

Hope things get better for you this year and for everyone that is struggling out there.

[smileyeyes]

I wasn't bashing you -- just trying to give you some suggestions if you haven't already tried them yet --

sheesh.


Sorry if I sounded mean I was just stress

[krisharry]

There are literally NO JOBS around here - NOT EVEN McDonald's . And then I get pissed cause he sleeps till noon and I know its cause he is depressed but hell I am to but I pull my butt out of bed and go to work, clean the house, cook dinner, and go to school full time. I just don't know how americans can do this anymore. Something has got to give

If you DH is depressed, get him to a dr. Maybe meds or other treatment is in order. If he is not clinically depressed but maybe in a funk because of your situation, sleeping is not going to solve your problems. Time for him to get either the medical help he needs so he can function again or if nothing is really wrong w/him, time to get his butt of the couch and look for work all day everyday until something comes along, no matter what it is. Either way you need some help. He needs to be able to look for work and help w/the house and kids because the stress of doing it all while he does nothing will wear you down and then where will your family be if you can't function anymore. Time for a heart to heart w/DH and a dr. visit. I know it's hard but you can't give up.

[smileyeyes]

If you DH is depressed, get him to a dr. Maybe meds or other treatment is in order. If he is not clinically depressed but maybe in a funk because of your situation, sleeping is not going to solve your problems. Time for him to get either the medical help he needs so he can function again or if nothing is really wrong w/him, time to get his butt of the couch and look for work all day everyday until something comes along, no matter what it is. Either way you need some help. He needs to be able to look for work and help w/the house and kids because the stress of doing it all while he does nothing will wear you down and then where will your family be if you can't function anymore. Time for a heart to heart w/DH and a dr. visit. I know it's hard but you can't give up.

I know today I am at my cousin's house while he is at home. I told him I needed to just get away. I can't do it today. I am letting him handle all of it. He can figure out what to cook every other thing that needs to be done around the house. I handed him the bills and said you figure out how to pay what needs to be paid cause the $200 in the bank account won't cover everything. Told hime if the power gets turned off OH WELL I have done all I can do at this point. Short of robbing a bank (which is NEVER and option). I will get up and go to work and I will come home to do my school work I will make sure I have food but as for him he is on his OWN. He siad stop mothering me well I will. NO MORE DOING HIS LAUNDRY NO MORE COOKING HIS DINNER NO MORE DOING ANYTHING HE NEEDS DONE. IF I NEED TO I WILL MOVE IN WITH MY GRANDMOTHER OR COUSIN TO GET MY POINT ACCROSS. I HAVE HAD IT. HE IS GOING TO PUT UP OR GET OUT

[WtPlover]

You go girl teach him his lesson work or not don't put up with it.

[msmom79]

Good For You,i Am Glad You Stood Your Ground,keep It Up.we All Know That It Is Hard For All Of Us Right Now. And Its Probally Gonna Get Worse-i Live By Myself,and Winter Time Is Really Hard For Me,cause I Make To Much To Get Help,and Not Enough To Pay Everything . So I Understand-i Do What I Have To Do To Pay Stuff,i Also Sell Things And Trade Things To Get What I Need,as I'm Sure You Do Too-good Luck To All Of Us Who Are Going Through These Hard Times(hugs And Prayers To You All).

[mosdata1]

Do you have a home church, or even just a local one you would feel comfortable going into & asking questions. Sometimes they may know someone who just needs some help running errands, and your DH can get paid to do that. It won't pay much, but it could get him up & out of the house, and bring in a few extra dollars per month too.
While he's looking, he can also check out American Greetings to see if they have any merchandiser positions available in your area. Once again, not great money but very flexible hours (you pick your schedule, you just have to get the work done), which means he can go looking whenever anything pops up.

There is the occasional job out there, but fewer companies are advertising, you just have to go out & find them yourself.

I know what it is to struggle, DH lost his job about 6 1/2 yrs ago, could not find anything for almost 9 months, then took a job making about 1/3 of his previous salary.

Things are finally better for us financially, and we are starting to dig ourselves out of the hole we were in.

I will continue to lift you & your family up in my prayers.

[Shadowcat_99]

Seriously, check out http://www.usajobs.gov/. It shows all the government jobs that are currently open. This is the site my husband used to get a job at the airport with TSA. And we all know that Government jobs are pretty secure!:smokin:

He was out of work for almost a year before he landed this one, and that was only two months before our youngest was born. I told him the little guy brought some extra presents from heaven for our family and that's why he got the job! :angel: :amen

But seriously, check out that site. Alot of people don't think to look there, and sure, there are a lot of very exotic and specific jobs to be had there, but there are a lot of general one's too, and you don't have to be military/ex-military to get them.

Good Luck! :hug

- Shadowcat

[smileyeyes]

So I came home his morning (stayed the night at my cousin's house) and he seemed to have been pretty convinced I was never coming back. He had to cook his own dinner (oh and there were no clean dishes cause I am on strike so he had to wash in order to cook). He doesn't have a car cause his truck broke and he won't get out there and try to fix it so he was stuck in the house ALONE all day and night. He did clean the living room, wash a load of clothes, do some dishes, and clean our bedroom. I guess when there is nothing else to do cause the converter box on teh TV went out and I took the internet with me je will find things to do HUH. We will see how the next week goes. I told him that he is going to act like a child he gets treated like one. Everyday he has a chore list and they have to be done or there will be consiquences.

As for the job thing he did walk to the store and get a paper and apply at the gas station. so we will see where that goes!

[msmom79]

So I came home his morning (stayed the night at my cousin's house) and he seemed to have been pretty convinced I was never coming back. He had to cook his own dinner (oh and there were no clean dishes cause I am on strike so he had to wash in order to cook). He doesn't have a car cause his truck broke and he won't get out there and try to fix it so he was stuck in the house ALONE all day and night. He did clean the living room, wash a load of clothes, do some dishes, and clean our bedroom. I guess when there is nothing else to do cause the converter box on teh TV went out and I took the internet with me je will find things to do HUH. We will see how the next week goes. I told him that he is going to act like a child he gets treated like one. Everyday he has a chore list and they have to be done or there will be consiquences.

As for the job thing he did walk to the store and get a paper and apply at the gas station. so we will see where that goes!

GOOD FOR YOU GIRL-HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT FOR YOU BOTH

[belleofpa]

((((((((( Hugs To You)))))))