2008 Darwin Award Winner (omg, what a moron!!)

[atprm]

Pay stub used as bank robbery note

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

CHICAGO - The robber's threatening note made a Chicago bank job easy to solve: The FBI says the suspect wrote it on his pay stub.

An FBI affidavit says the man walked into a Fifth Third Bank on Friday and handed a teller a note that read "Be Quick Be Quit (sic). Give your cash or I'll shoot." The robber got about $400 but left half of his note.

Investigators found the other half outside the bank's front doors.

Authorities say that part of the man's October pay stub had his name and address. :rolling :rolling :rolling :rolling :rolling :rolling

The suspect was arrested at his Cary home. A judge ordered him held without bond Monday. If convicted of bank robbery, he faces 20 years in prison.

[sdb_ngc]

lmao .. what an idiot

[hotwheelstx]

:gaah :gaah :gaah :gaah :gaah :gaah :gaah :gaah :doh

[cinnamonch]

Sorry OP but this crew is even worse

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/crime/2008/12/30/am.bts.911.call.by.accident.cnn

[Jolie Rouge]

I thought the "Darwin Award" was for cases where the "winners" had eliminated themselves from the gene pool ?

[gmyers]

I wonder if we'll see him on the dumbest criminal show.lol

[Jolie Rouge]

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darwin_Awards

A Darwin Award is a tongue-in-cheek "honor" named after evolutionary theorist Charles Darwin. Awards have been given for people who "do a service to Humanity by removing themselves from the Gene pool", i.e., lose the ability to reproduce either by death or sterilization in a stupid fashion. According to Wendy Northcutt, author of the Darwin Award books: "The Awards honor people who ensure the long-term survival of the human race by removing themselves from the gene pool in a sublimely idiotic fashion." The Darwin Award books state that an attempt is made to disallow urban legends from the awards, but some older "winners" have been 'grandfathered' to keep their awards

History : The Awards have circulated since 1985 as emails and Usenet group discussions; the Google Usenet archive records two early mentions of Darwin Awards, 7 August 1985 Vending Machine Tipover and 7 December 1990 JATO Rocket Car urban legend. The JATO legend was widely distributed via emails from 1995–97. Several anonymously authored email lists titled (for example) 1999 Darwin Awards have appeared annually since 1991. There are several websites that record "Darwin Awards" — a well-known one started in 1994 is darwinawards.com, run by Wendy Northcutt, who has also written several books on the Darwin Awards.

Requirements

Northcutt has stated five requirements for her Darwin Award:


"Inability to reproduce"
Nominee must be dead or rendered sterile.

Sometimes this can be a matter of dispute. Potential awardees may be out of the gene pool due to age; others have already reproduced before their deaths. To avoid debates about the possibility of in-vitro fertilization, artificial insemination, or cloning, the original Darwin Awards book applied the following "deserted island" test to potential winners: If the person would be unable to reproduce when stranded on a deserted island with a fertile member of the opposite sex, he or she would be considered sterile. In general, winners of the award are either dead, become unable to use their sexual organs, or imprisoned for life with no chance of escape.


"Excellence"
"Astoundingly stupid judgment."

The candidate's foolishness must be unique and sensational, perhaps because the award is intended to be funny. A number of foolish but common activities, such as smoking in bed, are excluded from consideration. In contrast, self-immolation caused by smoking after being administered a flammable ointment in a hospital and specifically told not to smoke is grounds for nomination. One 'Honorable Mention' (a man who attempted suicide by swallowing nitroglycerine pills, and then tried to detonate them by running into a wall) is noted to be in this category, despite being intentional and self-inflicted, which would normally disqualify the inductee.


"Self-selection"
Cause of one's own demise.

Killing a friend with a hand grenade would not be eligible, but killing oneself while manufacturing a homemade chimney-cleaning device from a grenade would be eligible. There is no award for killing someone else or causing someone else to be sterile, unless the responsible party is directly involved.


"Maturity"
Capable of sound judgment.

The nominee must be at least past the legal driving age and free of mental defect.


"Veracity"
The event must be verified.

The story must be documented by reliable sources, i.e., reputable newspaper articles, confirmed television reports, or responsible eyewitnesses. If a story is found to be untrue, it is disqualified, but particularly amusing ones are placed in the urban legend section of the archives.

Examples : Examples of Darwin award winners include:

Juggling active hand grenades (Croatia, 2001)

Leaving a lit cigarette in a warehouse full of explosives

Jumping out of a plane to film skydivers without wearing a parachute (U.S., 1987)

Trying to get enough light to look down the barrel of a loaded muzzleloader gun using a cigarette lighter (U.S., 1996)

Using a lighter to illuminate a fuel tank to make sure it contains nothing flammable (Brazil, 2003)

Attempting to play Russian roulette with a semi-automatic pistol that automatically reloads the next round into the chamber

or attempting Russian roulette with an unexploded landmine

Crashing through a window and falling to your death in trying to demonstrate that the window is unbreakable


Northcutt's Darwin Awards site gives "Honorable Mentions" to people who survive their misadventures with their reproductive capacity intact, by luck or chance. One example is Lawnchair Larry, who attached helium filled weather balloons to a lawn chair and floated far above Long Beach, California, in July 1982. He reached an altitude of 16,000 feet and was later fined for crossing controlled airspace.

Another notable honourable mention was given to the two men who attempted to burgle the home of 'hard man' footballer Duncan Ferguson (with 4 convictions for assault and having served 6 months in Glasgow's Barlinnie prison) in 2001, with one burglar requiring 3 days hospitalisation after being confronted by the player.

Special Winners

Each year, one award is selected as being much more "honorable" than the rest, and it is crowned as the "Darwin Award of the Year" or "[year] Darwin Award Winner". In 2007, the winner was "The Enema Within", in which a man died of alcohol poisoning after having two 1.5 litre bottles (over 100 fluid ounces) of sherry inserted anally.


For the authorative list : http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/


2008
The Balloon Priest
Run! No, Run Away!
Pining Away
Wascally Wabbit
Thou Shalt Not Steel
Not a Shred of Sense
Merry Pranksters
Pierced!
Boner!
Chemistry Went To Her Head
On the Piste
Clotheslined!
Going to Seed
Slippery When Wet
A Screw Loose
Into the Abyss
Shopping Cart Crash
Early Retirement Plan
An Illuminating Story
Organ Donors

[whatever]

Whats sad is they walk among us. LOL

[Jolie Rouge]

And The Darwin Award Goes To… (19 PICTURES)

http://lotoflaughters.com/and-the-darwin-award-goes-to-19-pictures/4/

Personal Favorite :

[Jolie Rouge]

The 2013 Darwin Awards Are Out!

Posted on August 20, 2013 by Jim G.

The Darwins Are Out!!!!

Yes, it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

Here Is The Glorious Winner:

When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And Now, The Honorable Mentions:

The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.

A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.

An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer… $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, “Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from.”

The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast… The frustrated gunman walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had and the perp had been punished enough!

In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and family…. unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.


*****Remember***** They walk among us, they can reproduce.

http://jdgroover.wordpress.com/2013/08/20/the-2013-darwin-awards-are-out/