An abused woman vent

[NoFoolPrice]

I am so angry.I have raised a total loser son. He's 23, when he's not working he lays around on his butt all day, he works seasonally and does not go back to work till jan. He called me tonight, ma, they took my car away, no drivers license or registration. He lives in a little house in our back yard. I went out and got the paperwork from him and was looking over it when he came in angry. Told me it was all my fault because I must not have given him his new DL from the DMV when it came in the mail (it never came) and shoved me twice and then spit in my face three times. I have RA and Fibromyalgia, please don't shove a person with fibro, it fricking has set in and hurts and I still feel the spit on my face even though I have washed my face six times. I didn't raise him to be such an ass and it hurts so bad I can't stand it. I cried all night and now I get to deal with the stupid fibro paid from being shoved. I don't deserve this, I feel very sorry for myself right now, I spent 27 hours in hard labor and went hungry so he could eat. He's angry and confused and lost, I understand that, but I can't let him take it out on me. How far do we go for our children?

[iluvmybaby]

I am so angry.I have raised a total loser son. He's 23, when he's not working he lays around on his butt all day, he works seasonally and does not go back to work till jan. He called me tonight, ma, they took my car away, no drivers license or registration. He lives in a little house in our back yard. I went out and got the paperwork from him and was looking over it when he came in angry. Told me it was all my fault because I must not have given him his new DL from the DMV when it came in the mail (it never came) and shoved me twice and then spit in my face three times. I have RA and Fibromyalgia, please don't shove a person with fibro, it fricking has set in and hurts and I still feel the spit on my face even though I have washed my face six times. I didn't raise him to be such an ass and it hurts so bad I can't stand it. I cried all night and now I get to deal with the stupid fibro paid from being shoved. I don't deserve this, I feel very sorry for myself right now, I spent 27 hours in hard labor and went hungry so he could eat. He's angry and confused and lost, I understand that, but I can't let him take it out on me. How far do we go for our children?


He pushed you and spit on you?! Hell NO! Where is your husband in all this, that he let his child spit in your face? I would kick your son out, and kick your husband out to keep him company since he wants to sit on his butt and let that child do it. Today, when your son comes in, tell him he has 30 days to get out of your house. If he lays hands on you again, call 911 and have his little gangster wanna be butt arrested, and then go to court and get him evicted. If does not love and appreciate you, he can go live in a homeless shelter or grow up and get a job.
Once you have evicted him you need to place an ad in the paper for someone to move into your guest house to help you out around the house and a little rent. This will help you financially and physically

[vicky122]

There is nothing I would'nt do for my son. But what your son did is wrong I don't care how lost and confused he is. You should of called the police. Now by him doing this and you not doing anything about it just going to make him feel he can do it again.

[andreame70]

There is nothing I wouldn't do for my son. But what your son did is wrong I don't care how lost and confused he is. You should of called the police. Now by him doing this and you not doing anything about it just going to make him feel he can do it again.

I completely agree with this and was going to come in and say almost the exact same thing.

There is no excuse for what he did. I am so sorry that he did this to you, but even if his license had come in the mail and you had forgotten to give it to him, that is still no reason for him to take it out on you. His sorry ass should have been looking for the license in the mail or asking you if it come in. He can look on his old one to see when it expires, so he should have had a clue as to when he should be expecting the new one.

I love my son too with all I have, but if he were to ever get physical like that with me, I would have to call the police. You still can and you should. This 23 year old brat needs to be taught a lesson. Do not give him the chance to do this to you again, the next time could be much worse.

[April78945]

Wow I am so sorry. I know with our children, the love is unconditional so it's hard to just make them leave (As opposed to an ass husband). I hope you and your son get through this an can keep your relationship in tact..you must be so devestated :( *hugs*

[tngirl]

I know somebody that wouldn't be living in the "little house". As a matter of fact, I know somebody that would be sitting their butt in a different kind of house, one with bars.

[tsquared]

I know somebody that wouldn't be living in the "little house". As a matter of fact, I know somebody that would be sitting their butt in a different kind of house, one with bars.

My thoughts exactly

[dv8grl]

:hug I hope you get some help.

[Freebeemom]

Agree with all the posters above me. Unfortunately, you will worry about him for hte rest of his and your life. Sounds like something else is going on. Is he a drug user? Why doesn't he have his drivers license? Sounds like he shouldn't have it for a reason...

Like all said above, you should not be treated this way. You should seek help for yourself, but more importanty, you need to stop enabling your son. Change the locks on the "little house" and kick him out. Give him an ultimatum: Either he gets a job or he goes. Stick to it. Don't let him push you around.

[Njean31]

sounds like he needs an order of tough love. he would be finding a place to live if he were my child. don't let him treat you like that:(

[hotwheelstx]

My mother would never have my brother arrested for doing something like that. She'd be the one that he'd call to get him out of jail. However, during the last year of my mother's life my brother would steal money, yell, scream, curse at my mother.....even went as far as not coming to see her when she was hospitalized from West Nile Virus. He hung the moon to her. Late in life baby....mom was 38 when she had him.

Mom basically just cut baby brother off of everything. When she passed away in 2006 she didn't leave him much. So instead, he took it. I mean he took everything from her.....money she left for both of us, house, cars, personal items. I've pressed charges on him....I don't have a problem with it.

I'm really sorry. I would just cut him off, make him move or get someone to move him.

If it's the threat of being arrested that you want....I would do that. There's no excuse for acting that way....NO MATTER WHAT.

I know in the end my mom died of more of a broken heart than anything else from what baby brother had been doing.

He's living high on the hog and I know one day everything will come back to haunt him. I've left it up to my mother....wherever she may be. I truly believe what goes around, comes around and BITES REALLY WORSE THAN BEFORE.

I'm sorry he's acting this way. There's NO EXCUSE FOR HIS BEHAVIOR....NONE.

[ma4angels]

son or not noone derserves to be treated that way. I would have called the plplice let spend the night in jail and when he came home his stuff would have been packed out of the little house with the locks changed. I also would have the officer standing there with me.

[IthinkNOT!]

I am sorry that you are going through this. And I agree with everyone else, have him arrested. I know it is a tough decision, but it sounds like he needs a wake up call.

[fleabones3]

Yep, sounds like he is used to you doing everything for him and thinks he can do whatever he wants to you because he is your son. I agree, kick his butt to the curb. When he can start being a mature MAN instead of a boy, and starts treating you with the respect a mom deserves, then maybe he can have a dinner with you

[xtrememom]

I have been EXACTLY where you are with one of my adult sons and I put his butt straight into jail. The police got the temporary restraining order on him due to what he did to me and my health issues of lupus, fibro and RA just to name a few. He was only 18 at the time almost 19. I am living everyday since April 15, 2006 with the scars from his assaulting me both emotionally and physically he severely damaged my left ankle and they have finally just realized I have nerve damage on that foot and that it can only be from his assaulting me and knocking me over. I have a Permanent Protective Order on him, he is NOT allowed to contact me by any means at all, Phone, Email, Myspace, etc and he is banned from the Community I live in. He is in another state now and his life is not rosy he is homeless, unemployed and refuses to get help for his drug and alcohol and mental health issues. He talks to DH who was not part of the PPO and while I love my son I did what was right for me and my now 10 yr old who he also assaulted. Tough love its hard but you gotta do it for your emotional and physical well being and I would not hesitate to do everything again with my son, I only wish KS would send him back here for his Warrants regarding my case and the case where he assaulted a 16 yr old girl in school and was on probation for when he assaulted me and has now skipped on his probation and his Bond which we get visits from the bondsmen on.

So please call the police get him arrested and protect yourself.

xtrememom

[mosdata1]

He pushed you and spit on you?! Hell NO! Where is your husband in all this, that he let his child spit in your face? I would kick your son out, and kick your husband out to keep him company since he wants to sit on his butt and let that child do it. Today, when your son comes in, tell him he has 30 days to get out of your house. If he lays hands on you again, call 911 and have his little gangster wanna be butt arrested, and then go to court and get him evicted. If does not love and appreciate you, he can go live in a homeless shelter or grow up and get a job.
Once you have evicted him you need to place an ad in the paper for someone to move into your guest house to help you out around the house and a little rent. This will help you financially and physically


Yes, yes yes!

I know you love your son, but you must draw the line. I would call the police, make a report & then tell him he has to be out. If he give you any more trouble, let them but his sorry behind in jail.

[Sweetberries]

He shoved you ?! and spit in your face 3 times?!!!!
I'm sorry that behavior is uncalled for I don't give a **** what his sorry ass excuse is

I would never even think about doing that to my mom

shame,shame, shame on him!

[hblueeyes]

Time to kick him to the curb. Tough love and self prservation is called for here.

Me

[1busymomma]

:hug

I would'nt put up with it either. There is no excuse for being treated like that and I agree with the others. I know it's hard to do,because you can't ever quit loving your kids or wanting the best for them, but you have to stand up to him. He has no business behaving that way.

I hope you are o.k....

[Quaker_Parrots]

He pushed you and spit on you?! Hell NO! Where is your husband in all this, that he let his child spit in your face? I would kick your son out, and kick your husband out to keep him company since he wants to sit on his butt and let that child do it.

I dont think there is a DH in the picture, I think it is just her and her DD....

[buttrfli]

This is what happened to a woman in my city who never called the police on her abusive son....



Arrest Made In Sunday Double Homicide Police say Brandon Johnson is responsible for the murders.

Tulsa police investigate a double homicide in the 900 block of North Quincy Avenue.
By Jeffrey Smith, News On 6

TULSA, OK -- Police say a 19-year-old shot his mother and cousin in the face. It happened early Sunday morning in the 900 block of North Quincy Avenue.

Police say Brandon Johnson is responsible for the murders. He lived next door to his mom and 19-year-old female cousin.

The News On 6 spoke to several neighbors. They say they heard Brandon tell his mom he was going to kill her hours before the shooting. It all came to a head Saturday night.

Brandon Johnson walked a few hundred feet, into the next-door home. Police say he shot his mom, Tracy, and his 19-year-old cousin several times in the face.

Rose Mustin was Tracy's close friend. "She was tired, she was scared, she was worn down. She said people shouldn't have to live like this," said Mustin.

Rose says she's known Tracy for eight months and during that time, Brandon would often beat up his mom. Other neighbors say they saw the same thing.

"He was always hittin' on her. Beatin' on her. He busted her lip open and everything," said Buddy Mcglothin.

Earlier Saturday afternoon, Brandon smashed up in his mom's car with a baseball bat. Buddy Mcglothin says after he smashed all the windows, he told his mom he'd be coming back to kill her.

"She was leaning up against the truck, and he pushed her real hard, and said, ‘*****, I'll shoot you.'" said Mcglothin.

He says Brandon didn't like his mom's new boyfriend and that's why he'd been beating her up.
"He'd kick the door open. He'd run in there and push her down and threaten to kill her. And hit her and beat her, over just bull crap," said Mcglothin.

The glass shards still glisten in the front yard. Insanity that a teenage girl and a mother are dead and police say her son, her neighbor, is behind it all.

Brandon Johnson was booked on two counts of first degree murder. Tracy Johnson, his mom, also had a seven-year-old daughter. She was not home at the time of the shooting.
We're told that daughter is staying with extended family.

He might not be beating the crap out of you on a regular basis, but abuse almost always escelates and you have the power to stop it right now.

As a parent I know we will go to the ends of the earth for our kids, but I'll be damned if any of my kids try to lay a hand on me. They also wouldn't be laying around in their 20's still expecting me to be doing for them. I come from a "sink or swim" family and there is no room for lazy whiners who can't keep a job.

[iluvmybaby]

Evict him.

Since he has been living there and recieves mail there, it is not going to be that easy. My uncle went through this with a live in girlfriend, she turned out to be a drug head and a psycho, he tried to kick her out and she called the cops. The cops would NOT let him keep her out, because he is a legal resident. He had to go through the eviction process through the court system

NoFoolPrince, if you need help with this, please contact me. I just need to know what state you are in and I will help you look up what you have to do to get him legally evicted. Honestly, I think you should call the cops, the spit is assult and so is shoving you, get it documented and then get a legal protection order. It isn't forever, maybe he will grow up and become a man once he is out on his own, but for now....for your safety....you have to do something. Please feel free to PM me, I will do anything in my power to help, whether that means doing research online or ....?

P.S I helped my friend out in the same situation, she had really severe Fibro and he was assulting her, stealing her medicine to sell/take etc, living in a guest apartment above the garage. It esculated and he shoved her down the stairs, please dont let that happen to you. I am familiar with CA evcition laws, not any other states, but I can do the research for you

[buttrfli]

get it documented and then get a legal protection order.

Just a thought here....

If she got a protective order, wouldn't that prevent him from being in his home since its on her property? Might be an easy temp quick fix until she can get something more perm done.

[chib44]

wow thats unbealiveabe I raised my three girls from a wheel chair they would never lift a hand to me or snot off hun you gave you son the basicks and good morals and thats all you could have done what he chose to do with that knolage isnt your fault If it were one of my kids they buts would be if jail for sure please dont take his crap sending hugs and prayers

[msmom79]

Oh My Gosh-he Spit In Your Face-no!no!no! You Need To Put Him Out! If He Doesnt Respect You At All He Needs To Go.sometimes When Our Kids Hit Rock Bottom On Their Own-they Will Pick Theirselves Up And Do Better-please Stop This Abuse Now-he Could End Up Hurting You Really Bad.time For Him To Go

[bears984]

I have to agree if he was my son he would be sitting in jail right now. JMHO

[Wimzik]

What bothers me is that at some point in this kids life he got the idea that it was okay to treat you with disrespect, and I'm sure this isn't the first time, had you made it clear the first time that it was not acceptable, it would not have escalated to this, but that is a moot point, the fact is, it's going to get even worse, until you put a stop to it.
It's not going to be easy, but you have to get tough, He is 23 years old, he is an ADULT and it's time for him to take responsibility for his own actions, And his own life. Kick him out, let him get a taste of the real world, don't feel sorry for him and don't be there for him to fall back on he doesn't deserve it, and he doesn't appreciate it.
I do sympathize with you, I had alot of issues with my oldest son, disrespect wasn't one of them because the first time he tried that he got a rude awakening, but I did call the cops on him a couple of times. One time resulted in 6 months in jail, which killed me, and he hated me for it, but I know I did the right thing because it redirected the course of his life, It got him out of a bad situation and gave him alot of time to think about where he was and how he got there. He is now a very hard working successful father of 3 beautiful children.

[iluvmybaby]

Just a thought here....

If she got a protective order, wouldn't that prevent him from being in his home since its on her property? Might be an easy temp quick fix until she can get something more perm done.

Buttrfli, it actually depends from state to state. It would legally prevent him from living in the family home, including the guest house. However, she would still have to go through the eviction process to legally prevent him from EVER coming back. It's a catch 22. Depending on the length of the protection order, if she doesnt legally evict him, he can come back as soon as it is expired because legally he is a resident. ((Word of advice, NEVER let anyones mail go to your house, because in the state of CA that counts legally as the person being a legal resident)) I think the best thing for her would do is get an order of protection against him, don't deny him the things that belong to him that are inside the house, but make sure the police are there to supervise what he is taking out on a temp basis because he isnt allowed to come back. Then, file for an eviction and go through that process. I think it takes 30 or 60 days to be able to legally evict someone, in CA it was 30 days, or at least it was a couple of years ago.

Word of advice, document EVERYTHING. If the police are called, get a copy of the police report for court, they might charge you $5-$10 to do that, but it is SUPER important to have everything that supports your claim.

[Wimzik]

Buttrfli, it actually depends from state to state. It would legally prevent him from living in the family home, including the guest house. However, she would still have to go through the eviction process to legally prevent him from EVER coming back. It's a catch 22. Depending on the length of the protection order, if she doesnt legally evict him, he can come back as soon as it is expired because legally he is a resident. ((Word of advice, NEVER let anyones mail go to your house, because in the state of CA that counts legally as the person being a legal resident)) I think the best thing for her would do is get an order of protection against him, don't deny him the things that belong to him that are inside the house, but make sure the police are there to supervise what he is taking out on a temp basis because he isnt allowed to come back. Then, file for an eviction and go through that process. I think it takes 30 or 60 days to be able to legally evict someone, in CA it was 30 days, or at least it was a couple of years ago.

Word of advice, document EVERYTHING. If the police are called, get a copy of the police report for court, they might charge you $5-$10 to do that, but it is SUPER important to have everything that supports your claim.

Just a question, in her first post she just stated that he 'lives in a little house in the back yard' she doesn't mention whether he pays rent, or if it is even a legal apartment, just curious if either of those things would make a difference? if he isn't paying rent, or if the apartment isn't legal, would that make it easier for her to evict him?

[SLance68]

Actually if the protective order is written correctly it will have a minimum amount of feet that he must stay away from her. That could make it very easy to evict him. I know in Florida it is 500'. Now unless she has a huge yard - 500' would get him evicted.

[SLance68]

Just a question, in her first post she just stated that he 'lives in a little house in the back yard' she doesn't mention whether he pays rent, or if it is even a legal apartment, just curious if either of those things would make a difference? if he isn't paying rent, or if the apartment isn't legal, would that make it easier for her to evict him?

Unfortunately that would not make a bit of difference if he paid rent or not. If the apartment is illegally being used then it would fall back on her and she would have to deal with code enforcement.

[iluvmybaby]

Unfortunately that would not make a bit of difference if he paid rent or not. If the apartment is illegally being used then it would fall back on her and she would have to deal with code enforcement.

It doesn't matter if he pays rent or not, he is legally a resident at her house if he has EVER gotten mail there. If she files just for a PRO ((restraining order)) he can come back at the end up the period of time. Most PROs are AT MOST 1 year. If she does not do the legal eviction, then in 1 year he come move back in and she would have to let him because he is a legal resident. To be a legal resident, all he has to do is live there 30 days and receive mail there. In fact, if she doesnt evict him and he comes back, he can call the police on her for keeping him from his residence, even though it isnt his. The law is strange, but I swear to God it is true. My uncle had a live in GF and found out she was stealing stuff from him to buy drugs ((he had no idea before she moved in she was a crack head)) He asked her to leave and she refused. One day while she was out he changed all the locks on the doors, she came back and called the police and the police FORCED him to let her in, saying she was a legal resident and if he wanted her gone he needed to evict her. He almost got arrested because he was so pissed that he almost got arrested, cussing her out etc, he was royally pissed. Sure enough, she didnt leave until after her did the legal eviction, but she caused him a LOT of problems.

[Bliss]

I am so angry.I have raised a total loser son. He's 23, when he's not working he lays around on his butt all day, he works seasonally and does not go back to work till jan. He called me tonight, ma, they took my car away, no drivers license or registration. He lives in a little house in our back yard. I went out and got the paperwork from him and was looking over it when he came in angry. Told me it was all my fault because I must not have given him his new DL from the DMV when it came in the mail (it never came) and shoved me twice and then spit in my face three times. I have RA and Fibromyalgia, please don't shove a person with fibro, it fricking has set in and hurts and I still feel the spit on my face even though I have washed my face six times. I didn't raise him to be such an ass and it hurts so bad I can't stand it. I cried all night and now I get to deal with the stupid fibro paid from being shoved. I don't deserve this, I feel very sorry for myself right now, I spent 27 hours in hard labor and went hungry so he could eat. He's angry and confused and lost, I understand that, but I can't let him take it out on me. How far do we go for our children?


He's 23 yrs old, you are done raising him. I'm going out on a limb here and guessing you also support him since he has a seasonal job?!? You do not need to take any crap off an ADULT son. It's pathetic he has no respect for you to shove & spit in your face. I'd have him removed off my property ASAP.. Being "lost, angry, & confused" is no excuse to treat his mother like he has done.

You have a choice - you either deal with his behavior or you do something about it. I'm sure this isn't nor will it be the last time he shoves you. So as long as you put up with it, it will become more violent. "Mommy isn't going to do nothing about it, so I can treat her like trash." Is what he'll be thinking.. Just like abusive husbands - women put up with the crap and it continues to get worse. Do whatever you feel is right for you.

[SLance68]

It doesn't matter if he pays rent or not, he is legally a resident at her house if he has EVER gotten mail there. If she files just for a PRO ((restraining order)) he can come back at the end up the period of time. Most PROs are AT MOST 1 year. If she does not do the legal eviction, then in 1 year he come move back in and she would have to let him because he is a legal resident. To be a legal resident, all he has to do is live there 30 days and receive mail there. In fact, if she doesnt evict him and he comes back, he can call the police on her for keeping him from his residence, even though it isnt his. The law is strange, but I swear to God it is true. My uncle had a live in GF and found out she was stealing stuff from him to buy drugs ((he had no idea before she moved in she was a crack head)) He asked her to leave and she refused. One day while she was out he changed all the locks on the doors, she came back and called the police and the police FORCED him to let her in, saying she was a legal resident and if he wanted her gone he needed to evict her. He almost got arrested because he was so pissed that he almost got arrested, cussing her out etc, he was royally pissed. Sure enough, she didnt leave until after her did the legal eviction, but she caused him a LOT of problems.

The 30 days is only 14 in Florida. It does differ in some states. I say she should just press charges and let him sit in jail and have him legally evicted while sitting in jail. That would be the safest route for her to go.

[cinnamonch]

He's angry and confused and lost, I understand that, but I can't let him take it out on me. How far do we go for our children?

Why are you making excuse for his behavior? He is 23 years old and he knows exactly what he is doing. He is doing what you have and are continuing to allow. This didn't just start, he has done it before and he will continue to do it. The question is, how long will it take before you get tired of it? Until you end up seriously hurt or dead?

[tngirl]

Screw evicting him. Collect his crap and throw it to the road and change the locks.

[ilovecats]

Screw evicting him. Collect his crap and throw it to the road and change the locks.

She can't legally do that.As disgusting as it is,she does have to evict him just as if he were a tenant.She has to go by the rules in her state.
NoFoolPrice:
I agree with everyone else who said evict him and you should have called the cops when it happened.I also know how hard it would be to call the cops on your own kid:hug I think you posted more for support than advice.That said,I think you should re-read all the posts a few times and realize that whatever his reasons,it is time for you to take care of "YOU".Good luck with whatever you decide.

[sunniekiss]

Sorry you are going through this but in my house it is "my house & my rules" PERIOD! No questions.
personally I would give him a 30 day notice to have a change in attitude of a change of address. His choice.
However that said, no child that came out of my womb would ever dare to raise their voice to me let alone their hands. Nope...not gonna happen.
He is 23, time to stop parenting & time to just be a parent.

[mosdata1]

Has anyone heard from her recently? Is she okay?

[Army-Mom]

Well, if my son done that to me I wouldnt have to call the police cause my husband would take care of it..and he would probley wish that I would have called the police..

[CAMSmama]

hope all is well. anyone heard any news?

[iluvmybaby]

I sincerely hope that this OP is OK, the last time she logged in was


Last Activity: 11-17-2008 11:58 AM

[ilovecats]

I sincerely hope that this OP is OK, the last time she logged in was

I checked out her profile too.If you look back,it seems like she doesn't post very often.I also think some people scared her.Everyone here has given great advice,I don't think she was looking for toughlove advice though.I think she was looking more to vent.I think people saying things like"my son would never...."made her feel bad.I don't think anyone said anything wrong but I do think she wasn't ready to hear it.

[Mary Jo]

Laws vary but in my community it costs the landlord $200 to have someone served with eviction papers.
Another thing to remember is that sometimes when an abuser is arrested or has the cops called on them they just get po'ed and the abuse escalates.

[Shancopp]

I didn't read any of the posts after your original post, but I got very sad for you. I know how much we love and sacrifice for our kids and only want love and respect back. You deserve that much. I hope he gets the help he needs. God Bless.

[peaceluver]

You need to kick that son of yours out on his butt. I would have called the police and had him arrested also but that is just me. He is never going to grow up if you continue to take care of him. Tough love is sometimes the only way to go.

[ssgjeg]

I checked out her profile too.If you look back,it seems like she doesn't post very often.I also think some people scared her.Everyone here has given great advice,I don't think she was looking for toughlove advice though.I think she was looking more to vent.I think people saying things like"my son would never...."made her feel bad.I don't think anyone said anything wrong but I do think she wasn't ready to hear it.

Actually, I thought everyone was pretty mild and even toned. Usually, it seems like some posts get the "jump on the op" bandwagon rolling and can't stop.

[atprm]

As a mom, I know that whatever my children needed, would be provided for them even if I went hungry or less clothed.

But, the hardest decision to make is when to stop being their welcome mat. No matter what happens, most of us "Moms" will forever be bound to our children because of the deep love we have for someone that is "of us".

In your situation, the hardest decision you have to make is having him arrested for assault and adult abuse. It may not seem like it, but it is the right thing to do -- especially for your own safety.

Now, if it were one of my own children, I might be in prison, because they certainly would not be able to walk if they attempted to lay a hand on me -- it is the ultimate disrespect to me -- I was raised to respect thy elders, and in turn have raised my own to do the same. (I am also one of those parents who had NO difficulty spanking that ass when they needed it...in public or in private, because the only thing that was ever wounded was their ego).

Maybe this is why the younger generations are as abusive as they are?? (because they weren't spanked or reprimanded at young ages) Who knows...but what is done is done, and all you can do is try to right the wrong now.

23 years old, lazy, abusive and living for free -- not in my lifetime. He would be homeless, lucky to be alive and on his own completely.

[ilovecats]

Actually, I thought everyone was pretty mild and even toned. Usually, it seems like some posts get the "jump on the op" bandwagon rolling and can't stop.

I agree with you completely,I just think everyone said pretty much the same thing and maybe it just wasn't what she wanted(or ready) to hear.

[Anniston]

Maybe she needed to vent to people she did not have to face in real life. I am sure that in such a situation, it is hard to vent to friends in real life. Hopefully she is reading all replies and sees that most moms agree that he should be put out. Tough love is what he needs.

My son is much younger, but if I ever faced such a thing, I don't know that I would call the police. That is a tough decision.

Again, hopefully she has him on his way to moving out and that he will find his way once he knows that she has grown a back bone.