Age appropriate for boyfriend/girlfriend

[Mom2-3boys]

This comes up due to the fact that since my 11 y/o hit middle school he comes home saying this girl asked him out that girl asked him out , then this girl is/was his "girlfriend" Last Friday My dh, 11 y/o, 5 y/o and I went to a football game and our 12 almost 13 y/o went skating with a friend well my 11 y/os "Girlfriend" was there and our oldest son saw her lip locked with another boy. When we picked our son up, of course all this talk of how his "girlfriend" cheated on him and blah blah blah. I told our 11 y/o I really didn't want to hear about it because officially he has no "girlfriend" until he is older and that I was glad we didn't let him go skating ( we knew she was going to be there) because at 11 he had no business kissing any girl and if we had let him go, that probably would have been him He said "I know" I said "Well what would you have done if she tried." he said "I would have told her NO!" Hmmm really?
Discussing the evenings event with dh when we were in bed and I said to him "Boy am I glad we said he couldn't go, otherwise he would have probably been kissing her!" My dh looked at me and said "So!?" :getyou "HELLO this is OUR son that is 11 not 14 and not even close to 12 just turned 11 3 months ago there is no way in HELL he has any business kissing at his age!?" My husband thinks I am totally over reacting. I don't think I am, and I definitely know that 11 is NOT ok to be starting with girlfriends already. What do you think is the appropriate age for boyfriends/girlfriends?? I know it really depends on maturity but just overall.

[Jenefer3]

I don't know, personally I'd prefer if my kids waited until I was 104 before they did the whole bf/gf, kissing thing, but I know that won't happen. What scares me though is that some of them are having sex. I was like WTF? when my daughter came home from school and told me that her ex best friend is pregnant at the ripe old age of 13

[Hockeymama]

This comes up due to the fact that since my 11 y/o hit middle school he comes home saying this girl asked him out that girl asked him out , then this girl is/was his "girlfriend" Last Friday My dh, 11 y/o, 5 y/o and I went to a football game and our 12 almost 13 y/o went skating with a friend well my 11 y/os "Girlfriend" was there and our oldest son saw her lip locked with another boy. When we picked our son up, of course all this talk of how his "girlfriend" cheated on him and blah blah blah. I told our 11 y/o I really didn't want to hear about it because officially he has no "girlfriend" until he is older and that I was glad we didn't let him go skating ( we knew she was going to be there) because at 11 he had no business kissing any girl and if we had let him go, that probably would have been him He said "I know" I said "Well what would you have done if she tried." he said "I would have told her NO!" Hmmm really?
Discussing the evenings event with dh when we were in bed and I said to him "Boy am I glad we said he couldn't go, otherwise he would have probably been kissing her!" My dh looked at me and said "So!?" :getyou "HELLO this is OUR son that is 11 not 14 and not even close to 12 just turned 11 3 months ago there is no way in HELL he has any business kissing at his age!?" My husband thinks I am totally over reacting. I don't think I am, and I definitely know that 11 is NOT ok to be starting with girlfriends already. What do you think is the appropriate age for boyfriends/girlfriends?? I know it really depends on maturity but just overall.


your husband sounds just like my husband his phrase to his sons...."go for son the worst thing she can say is no", now I dont agree with him at all my 18 y/o was always very girl happy, getting in trouble in kindergarten for kissing girls under the slide....I laugh about it now but not then...my 15 y/o who is 6ft 2in is very focused on school and his hockey playing does have girls hawking him down but for now he other things on his mind, the 8 y/o could careless about girls, for now!.....

it does seem like these kids are getting younger with the whole boyfriend girlfriend thing.....
my 6 y/o daughter came home one day last year very upset some boy was forcing her to be his girlfriend, he told her she had no choice he chose her so she was his!

But to answer your question it is a matter of maturity.....my 18 I still dont think should be dating but my 15 year old is very mature for his age and would be a great catch for any girl!

I think 11 is to young for boy/girl relationships. Once they hit 13 and become teenagers then you have to start releasing your control a bit on them . Again as long as they are mature about it.

[Renrut]

My husband is all for our son dating. I say HELL NO!!! He is only 13 and already thinks he has a girlfriend. I know what I was doing at 13 so ain't no way I am gonna allow it!! Plus, I am more of a watchdog than my parents were lol. I told him when he is 16 I will think about it. I know, I'm a mean mommmy.

[meltodd69]

I guess I am the odd ball here. I have always had a open relationship with my son. He is now 20 and doing fantastic. I've educated him since he was old enough to talk. I never had a problem with girlfriends, I totally trusted him to make the right decisions. Kids will be kids and it is our jobs as parents to hopefully teach them to make the right choices. But it is up to them in the end to do the right thing. Heck I had a "boyfriend" in kindergarden lol. He would walk me to school everyday.

[dv8grl]

Age appropriate for boyfriend/girlfriend

How old were you when you first kissed a boy?
I should think that would answer your question.

As long as you educate your children in both abstinence and safe sex.
I fear today its becoming COOL to be a mom in HS.

[Unicornmom77]

I understand the cutsie crap with saying "boyfriend" but as for me and my children they will not be "going out" or dating AT ALL until they are 16. And then it will be only as a group and NEVER alone. Sheltered, you bet, strict? Absolutely! There is NO reason for teenagers to be alone together. My 12 year old does not even talk about "boyfriends" and my 11 year old son has hardly anything to do with girls, And I am very open with my children. If they ask it I tell them straight up and completely honest. I will be damned if my children have the opportunities to do the things I did when I was a teen. I know they are going to do things behind my back and all that, but if I have a say in it then they won't be having any "boyfriends" or "girlfriends" for awhile.

[Unicornmom77]

I fear today its becoming COOL to be a mom in HS.

You are right which is why parents need to be more strict and have stronger boundaries and standards.

[galeane29]

I believe 11 and even 14 are too young to date. But that's me