another damn day in paradise

[tljohn123]

Is it so much to ask that I want to spend time with my SO? Just us? Apparently it is! I have to wait for the kids to leave! And then his oldest just has to be in the mix because hell she's bored. I am not jealous of the kids. I am jealous that I can't get the time I feel I deserve. And I told him about it. He told me to get off my kick because I spend a lot of time with him. Um. When??? Then he says he doesn't want to talk about it. I guess because I do it doesn't matter.

Today he's out playing with all of the kids. I couldn't go with them because I had to work (he left the house one hour before I came home, couldn't have waited for me) and second, my back is still hurting a bit. I accept that. But why lie to me? "Oh, we're going to go out and probably come right back because it's so damn windy', and "we're not going anywhere because the motor on the boat won't start'. I knew damn good and well he was going.

Yesterday he told me he wasn't going to take two of the boys because they were being such jerks for the last two days and 'I don't reward bad behavior'. What a crock that is. If it's what the kids want, they get.

Yeah, I'm tired, and yeah I'm cranky because I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. I just want to spend some time with him. I didn't think that was so damn wrong.

[Mary Jo]

Some guys are just immature.
It's easier for them to relate to kids than adults.

[tngirl]

Do the kids live with you? And are they just his or yours and his?

[tljohn123]

I have no kids, they are all his. He just got home. An hour later than he said. "I found a shortcut'. Excuse me...I know where he was, and I know how long it takes to get here from there.

He just told me I was too possessive and that I needed to kick it down a notch and that he needs time to HIMSELF (with a crowd of kids???) and that he was with HIS family. I thought that is what I was, or going in that direction. I guess I was wrong. I don't know what's going to happen now. I don't want to leave and he says he doesn't want me to either. Now what.

[shotgun]

How old are the kids?

[ilovecats]

Not bashing here,My kids come first.I happen to be married but if that ever changes,my kids come first.Do you have kids of your own?If not there is no way you would ever understand the bond there is.Not putting you down,I just think you don't understand once you have kids they are the most important things in the world.

[Jackie_Blu]

I do understand him wanting to do things with his kids....BUT he needs to take your feelings into consideration also. For him to leave an hour b4 you get home from work for an outing with his children when he could have waited and included you is wrong. Sounds like he is having trouble combining you all into one family.would he consider counseling?

Maybe when he reaches for you after the lights got out, you should tell him "I don't reward bad behavior"...........

[tngirl]

I was asking if they lived with you because if they are only there visiting that would make a difference. I know when my kids went to visit their dad, even though they loved their stepmom and step siblings. They still wanted to do something with just them and their dad.

[Willow]

I do understand him wanting to do things with his kids....BUT he needs to take your feelings into consideration also. For him to leave an hour b4 you get home from work for an outing with his children when he could have waited and included you is wrong. Sounds like he is having trouble combining you all into one family.would he consider counseling?

Maybe when he reaches for you after the lights got out, you should tell him "I don't reward bad behavior"...........

I agree! I have two kids from a previous relationship and am expecting one with dh that will be here in a few weeks. You have to make time for your spouse. If you don't your marriage isn't going to work. Unless you're single it's not just the kids that matter. I think it's true what they say about kids being a big problem in some marriages. If he plans on marrying you tljohn then you're going to be a part of the family and you shouldn't be left out like that. I don't see why he couldn't have waited one more hour so that you could go along. The kids are going to have learn to share their daddy. He might be their father but he's still his own person. He's more than just someone's daddy. He's going to be someone's husband. The kids will have to adjust. Either that or he should remain single until the kids are grown if he's going to put them above you all the time.

[Freebeemom]

Unfortunately, it sounds like you are going to have to be the one to find the sitter and make a date!