ACK! My BF told me last night that he wants to get married

[dinosmom]

I have been with Dom for almost 2 yrs but have known him for a lot more. We both were married (to other people) before and both marriages ended badly. At the beginning of our relationship, we knew we were totally compatable but we both agreed that a 2nd marriage was just not for us. He is quite a bit younger than I am. We have a house together-both names are on the title, we have joint accts, both pay bills etc etc. He is totally wonderful and is more of a Father to my DS than his "sperm donor" ever was or ever will be! So last night out of the blue he told me that he thinks maybe we should get married. We couldnt continue the discussion because there was some neighborhood drama that suddenly happened and by the time it was all over, we were both too tired to talk. (neighbors house caught on fire (kitchen fire) and we have them living with us now until they can get the house cleared out and repaired) Now I am totally freaking. I have no idea what changed his mind!!!! Its not that I dont think he is right for me, he is PERFECT! Its just that marriage is such a bad word for both of us. ACK I dont know when we will be able to discuss this in private with a ton of people in the house right now! So I am just freaking out! :yikes

[lassss]

yay!! congrats.. go for it !

[ahippiechic]

Just because you both had a previous bad marriage it doesn't mean that yours will end up that way too. You're already living together and said that both of your names are on the house title and you have joint bank accounts so you're already living the life of a married couple (or just playing house as Judge Judy calls it LOL) so I don't think making it legal will change anything in a bad way. It just might bring you closer together.

Yeah that.

[Char]

Well, CONGRATULATIONS ! That's wonderful !

Hey, I had two baddies before this marriage, this one will be 22 years in August... just consider the other marriages 'training'...lol, if he's 'perfect', YOU are a lucky woman !

[Char]

Just because you both had a previous bad marriage it doesn't mean that yours will end up that way too. You're already living together and said that both of your names are on the house title and you have joint bank accounts so you're already living the life of a married couple (or just playing house as Judge Judy calls it LOL) so I don't think making it legal will change anything in a bad way. It just might bring you closer together.


LOL! I was just thinking, as soon as I read her post "Hey, Judge Judy would approve, in fact, she'd wonder why you waited so long !" :D

[Char]

Judge Judy can be harsh but she does make a lot of sense. LOL


LOL! Yea... she's my hero ! :D

[xsweetestx]

Congrats but just make sure you really want to do this...

[Thawn]

Wishing you the best!

[Kimberly61]

you sound like my sister lol....her and her now dh were in the same boat you all are in, she was freaked out over the whole marriage thing too due to a bad one before as well as he was and he is also younger then her and treats her kids as his own, they called him dad for that matter, well he asked her out of the blue and she kept telling him no till one day she decided ok why not, and so they got married and she hasnt been more happier, things are still the same if not better between them..........I for one have been married to the same man for going on 17 years so I dont know what its like to go through a divorce thankfully! But I know it damages people but it also makes them stronger and after all the bs they know what they want and they work on it, if you both share the same commitment of working things out and staying in it through whatever bs comes along and trust me there is a lot that comes along then you should be fine......but the decision is still yours and yours only, dont do something you dont want to do but the feeling that someone will be there always for you is a very secure feeling in this otherwise screwed up world.

[4diego]

I was married before and it was AWFUL & I vowed to never go through it again. Then about three years later, I met up with a guy I went to grade school with. We were together about two years and one day he popped the question, know how I felt about marriage. It took me a few weeks to give him an answer and I was still wanting to call the whole thing off up until the night before the wedding. But I did it, that was a little over two years ago and I (and my kids) have never been happier or more loved. I say go for it, you can't make him pay for you ex's mistakes (or the other way around) and everyone deserves to be happily married. Maybe it makes him feel more secure to be married, I know that was important to my dh. I don't reget it at all.

[dinosmom]

Thanks everyone. If my Dad were still alive he would say we were "playing house" too! LOL

We are going out to dinner tonight to discuss this. I was worried that he was feeling pressure from his family for us to get married but he said thats not the case. :)