Don't know what to title this

[belle5691]

I know a forum like this is probably not the place to vent anything like this, but I am truly hanging on the knot at the end of my rope tonight. I can't see anyway around anything anymore. My husband got sick about 6 years ago. He was disabled after 3 heart attacks and other complications. He decided at that point to plant himself in a chair (when he wasn't spending time in the hospital) and learn to be an expert remote control user. I've been angry, because my kids didn't deserve this. They did not deserve to lose the financial support, but most of all they didn't deserve to have to watch their father check out of life right in front of them. He existed, but that's it. Once a week, he could get up, clean up, and go to church to Men's Bible Study becasue he was the life of the party there. The minute he hit the door back home, it was back into dirty clothing, and either in bed, or in the chair in front of the tv. I got really excited Sunday because he told me he had read a story about Joni Earkeckson (sp?) Tada and her being paralyzed and he thought "I couldn't live like that, " and he said he felt like God told him---"Well, you are---by choice". He told me Sunday how he was going to change, and get motivated to live again, etc. Guess how long it lasted? The next day he was wearing his dirty t shirt and his inside out sweat pants again. I know he didn't ask to be disabled, but I didn't ask the lot that it put me in also. Or the kids. I was laid off my job I'd had for 8 years shortly after he became ill. After a major illness myself with MRSA and several surgeries due to it, it took me about 2 years to get enough strength back to try to work. I worked for a year in clerical. Just data entry. Then I was laid off again. I tried 1 day in a dry cleaners shop---and was so tired I thought I was honest to God going to pass out. The older lady training me made me sit down several times as she thought I was going to. I still don't have the stamina to work a strenuous job of any kind. I have been on Tramadol (Ultram) for over 3 years continually. I've tried to work a home based business in sales of an insurance type product. The person who helped me start was my best friend even before I started the business. I've just lost them because I can't take it anymore. I started and attended trainings over 2 hours away, attended weekly meetings, the whole gamut of stuff. I took the effort to become certified in my field (a fee and a test), I attend conventions when I can...and yes, my friend has helped me financially do this the past 2 years. Before that, I took care of everything myself. OR---I was told that I needed to figure it out on my own, and stuff like that. It made me tougher, but I still resent being told that. My best friend is a guy. He has a very charismatic personality. It's why I wanted to be best friends with him, but its caused us so much grief. As in most home based businesses, I have "downline". Just because of the way the world is now, we do business in pairs, 90% of our company does this....male/female. My friend and I do this. But we make it clear to the member, downline etc...who is their "go to" person. I sponsored---Juanita.....I worked in the same office she did...she would make a long distance call to my friend, to talk to him rather than walk across the room to ask me....Then I sponsored Antonio & Kasey---and even more...Antonio would be in a chair right beside me at work, pick up the phone and call my friend, who in turn had not studied the "stuff" as much as me...would call me...how stupid is that? Antonio could have literally turned around in his chair...and asked me the question. Then I joined a networking group...we are allowed to have substitutes in case we can't attend. I took him and introduced him as my substitute. Immediately following the meeting a woman at the meeting emailed him....and began asking him questions about stuff....he told her that her first contact would be me...and her reaction? Just hit replay and ask him more stuff. LOL....Then I had one from the group that I thought was finally I had worked enough, I was professional, whatever else I needed to be....it was a doctor....he needed our "insurance" for his practice. No problem. I told him at his convenience we would be happy to write the policy, answer any questions, etc. I told him my partner would be with me as we worked together. I introduced him to my partner...The dr was very professional, told me the next time that he would be calling me. My friend and I attended his open house. Still good. I referred my friend to him as a patient. The dr suggested I come for my own appt, he thought he could get me off the painkillers with some other types of relief. We went for the appt. All good still.....We left our appts, my friend and I---with follow up visits scheduled, 6 for me, 2 more for my friend. My friends phone rings last night with the dr calling to make sure HE was happy with the treatment plan, and to see if he had any other questions, etc. It hurt--- a lot. I've not gotten a phone call. I will be canceling my future appts I have set up with him. I've tried so hard....to do this right, to figure out what Im doing wrong. I dont dress "slutty", I dress professional, try to act as professional as I possibly can, etc....but every person except for 1 that I can name has turned around and bypassed me as soon as I introduce them to my friend. I can't deal with it anymore. I ask...what am I doing wrong, be honest, be blunt and brutal, and never an answer. LOL...Even my friend after one of our seminars that I worked DA** hard on putting together, announced at the end--if you have any questions ask myself or So and So (another friend) at the back of the room. I hate being in the postion of having to make my family stay together, financially, disability is a joke. Fight for 5 years to get $900 a month...Give me a break, then they dropped husbands secondary medicaid....asked for a $1020 a month spenddown...when we only get $900 a month from his disability. Anyway....none of this made a lot of sense...im sure...if you answer, please be kind....really...because I really feel like Im going under right now.

[Jenefer3]

:grouphug not sure that I could say much to help, so here's a hug

[ahippiechic]

Sorry you're going thru this.

It sounds like your DH might be suffering from depression. Maybe he needs to speak with his Dr about it.

[MsLynn]

I'M sorry you're going through this, i know how hard it is to make it financially.. right now i'm working 4 jobs... a full time, a part time, and 2 if they have an opening they will call me and if i cna work, i will, if not i won't..

it seems like everytime you catch a break... something else will happen.

i'll keep you in my prayers

[Freebeemom]

Wow...

Have you told your husband's dr how depressed he is? Honestly, your husband probably is, as you know, and needs help. This will have a huge impact on your children.

I applaud you for even getting up every day and doing what you do. YOU are a positive influence in your family. It takes a lot of courage for you to do what you are doing.

I would start to mention this problem to others: your pastor (or religious leader that has contact w/your husband).

Perhaps some counsling would help you just to stay focused. I am sorry you have had a bad 6 years. You will be just fine! Hang in there!

[Shann]

that is a lot to deal with :hug I agree with the others about speaking to your hubby's dr about his depression and quite frankly it cannot be healthy for him to live in bed or a chair. :( I can't imagine the emotional strain that has put on you and the family. I would be irritated also, it seems like some ppl just don't like to take women seriously, hell look at Hillary Clinton I've heard quite a few ppl say they're not going to vote for her purely b/c she's a woman, obviously we have our right to choose but choosing based on sex/race.. c'mon! It's a lot harder in this world for women to be taken seriously and I think I'd be calling up that dr and having a little chat, b/c I'd want to know why my MALE partner is being treated the way he is and I am not. GL

[belle5691]

that is a lot to deal with :hug I agree with the others about speaking to your hubby's dr about his depression and quite frankly it cannot be healthy for him to live in bed or a chair. :( I can't imagine the emotional strain that has put on you and the family. I would be irritated also, it seems like some ppl just don't like to take women seriously, hell look at Hillary Clinton I've heard quite a few ppl say they're not going to vote for her purely b/c she's a woman, obviously we have our right to choose but choosing based on sex/race.. c'mon! It's a lot harder in this world for women to be taken seriously and I think I'd be calling up that dr and having a little chat, b/c I'd want to know why my MALE partner is being treated the way he is and I am not. GL

:star: :star: :star: Thank you so much for "getting it!!!" My son said the same thing to me today when I was so upset....its not like they tell me its my make up is wrong, i dont dress right, i dont know enough (trust me I do---I can pass any of these people in a test)...but Im a girl...thats all...Im a girl....How can I change that, especialy when I didn't ask to be in the position of the head of the household....i got married to be a partner, not gain another person to take care of...(IF he COULDNT---different story, if he WONT....I am upset)

[sunniekiss]

Well for one thing, with the new HIPPA laws she may not be able to discuss her hubby's medical condition with his doctor.

The only thing I can say to you about keeping your family together for the sake of trying to keep the family together & I wish I had the wisdom 15 years ago that I do now; children would rather be from a broken home rather from a home that is broken (thank you Dr Phil).

Sorry to say this but your children are your first responsibility. It seems to me that your husband nees to get off his butt & get on with his life. No one lives a successful happy life via a television. You need to get yourself into a position where you can support yourself & your children & not concern yourself about a disability check.

Now a quick aside about your friend. You yourself stated that you wanted to become friends with him because of his "charisma". If you saw that in him it is entirely possible other people see that as well. Remember his job is to SELL himself, the product he is selling becomes secondary to him.

Sending you {{hugs**** & hope everything works out OK for you.

[sunniekiss]

:star: :star: :star: Thank you so much for "getting it!!!" My son said the same thing to me today when I was so upset....its not like they tell me its my make up is wrong, i dont dress right, i dont know enough (trust me I do---I can pass any of these people in a test)...but Im a girl...thats all...Im a girl....How can I change that, especialy when I didn't ask to be in the position of the head of the household....i got married to be a partner, not gain another person to take care of...(IF he COULDNT---different story, if he WONT....I am upset)

Dang it my Grey's is on but I need to make a quick response to you on this. being a girl YES can be a hinderance to SOME people but not to all people. I am a girl & I work in a construction related industry. I am not the one hammering nails either b/c I might break a nail : ) I am one one who wears the heels to work. However just because I was "the girl" didn't mean I don't know what I was talking about.
You need to learn to be more assertive & forceful about who & what you are. That, I am afraid, is the only way you will ever be taken seriously. You need to make those people who won't take you serious LEARN to take you serious.
HTH a bit.

[belle5691]

Dang it my Grey's is on but I need to make a quick response to you on this. being a girl YES can be a hinderance to SOME people but not to all people. I am a girl & I work in a construction related industry. I am not the one hammering nails either b/c I might break a nail : ) I am one one who wears the heels to work. However just because I was "the girl" didn't mean I don't know what I was talking about.
You need to learn to be more assertive & forceful about who & what you are. That, I am afraid, is the only way you will ever be taken seriously. You need to make those people who won't take you serious LEARN to take you serious.
HTH a bit.

Wow...getting the same thing said to me at the moment on an IM from the "friend". It's my self confidence.

[ahippiechic]

You have to be confident and have faith in YOU and your abilities. But some people never accept women in certain roles. I used to be an certified auto mechanic. But some people (especially men) would rather wait 2 days and let another guy work on the car, then to let me, because I'm a girl. It sucks but try not to let those people get you down. They're just ignorant.

[Char]

Wow... I feel your pain. None of you deserve any of this, but, your husband didn't ask for the heart attacks either. I know how hard it is, how you can "why me" teh situation. I don't fully understand it myself. But, I do think it's a form of depression, not the typical 'clinical' depression, but, a 'special' depression that happens to people when they come close to death. My husband is a heart nurse... he deals with heart patients day in and day out... special training etc... Many families have the exact same complaints as you do about your husband. After coming that close to dying, they are afraid to live. I would think they would be thrilled to be alive, but, my husband says I could never understand until I came that close to death, and, I'm going to assume he's right. He claims he's seen it first hand, that it changes people. He said that now their are TONS of support groups for 'survivors of heart attacks'... maybe your husband could benefit from that.

As far as your problems at work... it could be that you are female, since they are not always taken seriously. I used to manage an office, a pest control office... I made the orders for pesticides, I made the drivers schedules, I routed the service calls the day before, I filled out the reports etc... but when awards were handed out every year, I got them for 'office stuff', like, reductions in bad debt writeoffs... the service techs got the awards for 'least amount of complaints', 'best routing' thus lower service costs etc... although I actually did all the ground work.

I wouldn't take it to heart... YOU know that YOU had the smarts to train them, and they know it too. Out in the world is a crappy, unfair place to work... it's hard now, very hard.

I know the disability deal too... you can't live on that, only survive.

I hope for you peace...

[tracey74]

just keep telling yourself you can do it and be confident that you can do a darn good job and that you are doing this not only for yourself but you kids as well. also with your hubby being depressed(sounds like he is) with all the stress you are going through maybe your potential "clients"( I dont know what you call them) are reading your body language wrong and think youre projecting yourself as maybe being angry or over confident or something when actually thats not it at all. its just a guess but people may be taking you wrong because stress shows on everyone different and maybe thats what it is. I could be wrong .but hope all works out for you and you can do it just set you mind to it and repeat it to yourself often if you have to and go for it. and speak up at work if you did a project with so and so say so dont let someone else take credit for your work.

[Char]

I used to be an certified auto mechanic.


I didn't know that ! My DH has been certified for years and years... I met him 24 years ago, had a Camaro... with a 305 engine, his first way to 'impress me' was to rebuild my engine ! LOL! It ended up a 327 block, 305 intake, and, 350 heads !

I became his 'assistant'...we have rebuilt maybe 200 engines ! His Dad and brother own a local auto repair shop here, one their grandpa started in the 1940's. They stopped rebuilding engines about five years ago, they only replace them now.

I do the tech work... mic piston walls, cranks, cams etc... and, put the rings on the pistons, make sure they're spaced correctly etc...lol, I put the bearings on the rods and tap them into the block etc... The DH does the heavy work... pulling the motor, attaching it to the engine stand, and tearing it down... oh, I torque all the bolts too, the heads, rods, mains etc... I love it !

Now that he's a nurse, he quit doing engines... just does small jobs on the side... brakes, struts, tune-ups etc... for extra spending cash, and because he loves it... he loves nursing too though. :D

I sure do miss rebuilding them !

[Char]

LOL... how many ASE seminars the HD went to for 'extra credits' ! Had to earn those credits. *whew*

[pennywise]

:grouphug :grouphug
heres another hug for you. sounds like you could use some.

[dispatcher]

{{{hugs******

[Wimzik]

It sounds like you're husband is at a point that he is beginning to see that this is no way to live, but he may only be seeing how it is affecting him, and he doesn't want to put the effort into changing things, he needs a good push. You need to have a serious talk and make him aware of how this is affecting everyone, I'm sure depression is part of it, and he should speak to his dr about it, but it's also easy for him to just continue being lazy when you have taken on all the responsibility of the household, it's time to give some of that back to him.
With the job situation, It could just be his charisma and that he is very personable and people just feel more comfortable talking to him. I work as an asst. manager, The manager(a woman) has been in the retail business all her life, she knows more than I ever will, yet I can be standing right next to her and people will walk right past her to talk to me or ask a question, and it's because I'm more personable, and she is very business-like and to the point and people are just more comfortable with me. We laugh about it though and she doesn't mind because she would rather deal with the the business end of things and let me deal with the people. My point is, it may have nothing to do with what how much you know, it may just be that people are more comfortable talking to you're friend. If you think that may be the problem, that is something you can work on, I used to be terribly shy and it was an effort to even talk to people or look them in the eye but when i went back to work(after 15 years) I knew I would have to overcome that if I wanted to get anywhere. I hope things work out.

[Hetty]

I dont really have anything I can say abouthe Hubby part mine won't sit still long enough to even warm the couch cushion.I am sorry for the your troubles..I know how you feel about being put aside in a "mans" world.Just last week I went to look at a truck in which was for me and the loan in my name.The salesman would not even talk to me he talked to my bf and would ask him what he thought of this and that..D**n it I am buyin the truck not him maybe next time I will wear something slutty....lol might get them to talk to me.

[mosdata1]

I agree with what most of the people said about your DH, I also think it's depression. Tell him that you need to make an appt with his dr for both of you. Let the Dr know how he is acting, and ask him to recommend someone your DH can see about his depression. Since he opened up a little on Sunday, let him know that you & the kids are in his corner.

Regarding the friend/partner, sometimes it all boils down to being a woman & your level of confidence. Not quite the same subject but, I used to work with these 2 women who would have women wanting to be their friends & all the men panting after them wherever they were. Neither was a raving beauty one was kind of pretty and the other was very plain looking - but they both had so much self assurance, that they just attracted people.
I know you can't change the fact that you are a woman, but try to work on how you project yourself. A little self assurance can go a very long way.

Good luck, and I hope things start looking up all around.

:grouphug

[G'maDebbie]

I didn't read each reply here, so if I am repeating someone else I dont know it...lol
Anyways, your husband's heart specialist should have warned you about depression after a heart attack. My ex husband went thru the exact same thing. And I worked my @ss off just like you are doing now. I walked around in a state of anxiety of every day.
DO NOT put yourself thru this any longer. Get your husband to his doctor immediately and tell the dr. what is happening. A doctor cant treat him if he isnt told about it. DO NOT beat your self up anymore...do what you need to do for yourself and your families well being. This is a serious issue that needs attention now! I am here if you need a shoulder (((((hugs)))))

[Mary_Jo3]

((((hugs)))))

Have you appealed medicades decision?

[LuvBigRip]

Dang it my Grey's is on but I need to make a quick response to you on this. being a girl YES can be a hinderance to SOME people but not to all people. I am a girl & I work in a construction related industry. I am not the one hammering nails either b/c I might break a nail : ) I am one one who wears the heels to work. However just because I was "the girl" didn't mean I don't know what I was talking about.
You need to learn to be more assertive & forceful about who & what you are. That, I am afraid, is the only way you will ever be taken seriously. You need to make those people who won't take you serious LEARN to take you serious.
HTH a bit.

I totally agree. I have been in Construction 20+ years. Did I have to work harder? Absolutely, but attitude is everything. I have hit glass ceiling, and left companies. I have been in the field, and worked my way to a great office job. I demand respect, and I earned respect. I know at the company i work for now, I ask for, and got way more than many of the guys. Why? Because I earned it, and know I am worth every penny.

[belle5691]

It sounds like you're husband is at a point that he is beginning to see that this is no way to live, but he may only be seeing how it is affecting him, and he doesn't want to put the effort into changing things, he needs a good push. You need to have a serious talk and make him aware of how this is affecting everyone, I'm sure depression is part of it, and he should speak to his dr about it, but it's also easy for him to just continue being lazy when you have taken on all the responsibility of the household, it's time to give some of that back to him.
With the job situation, It could just be his charisma and that he is very personable and people just feel more comfortable talking to him. I work as an asst. manager, The manager(a woman) has been in the retail business all her life, she knows more than I ever will, yet I can be standing right next to her and people will walk right past her to talk to me or ask a question, and it's because I'm more personable, and she is very business-like and to the point and people are just more comfortable with me. We laugh about it though and she doesn't mind because she would rather deal with the the business end of things and let me deal with the people. My point is, it may have nothing to do with what how much you know, it may just be that people are more comfortable talking to you're friend. If you think that may be the problem, that is something you can work on, I used to be terribly shy and it was an effort to even talk to people or look them in the eye but when i went back to work(after 15 years) I knew I would have to overcome that if I wanted to get anywhere. I hope things work out.

Thank you. That is true. I am more quiet, more business oriented, and he is more people oriented. And I need to realize that WE know whats going on, and leave it at that, I guess. Thanks for helping me realize it happens to other people too.

[belle5691]

I dont really have anything I can say abouthe Hubby part mine won't sit still long enough to even warm the couch cushion.I am sorry for the your troubles..I know how you feel about being put aside in a "mans" world.Just last week I went to look at a truck in which was for me and the loan in my name.The salesman would not even talk to me he talked to my bf and would ask him what he thought of this and that..D**n it I am buyin the truck not him maybe next time I will wear something slutty....lol might get them to talk to me.

LOLOLOL. I know what you mean. I used to live in a smaller town, and NO ONE knew me...and treated me like a dumb woman. I remember taking a tire in to be fixed, and the guy acting like I was stupid---till I went back that night to pick it up with my husband---and it was someone who this guy dealt with all the time! How aggravating, when times have changed, and women are in a world they have to be just as successful and involved as a man...and man are still in cave man mode.

[belle5691]

I agree with what most of the people said about your DH, I also think it's depression. Tell him that you need to make an appt with his dr for both of you. Let the Dr know how he is acting, and ask him to recommend someone your DH can see about his depression. Since he opened up a little on Sunday, let him know that you & the kids are in his corner.

Regarding the friend/partner, sometimes it all boils down to being a woman & your level of confidence. Not quite the same subject but, I used to work with these 2 women who would have women wanting to be their friends & all the men panting after them wherever they were. Neither was a raving beauty one was kind of pretty and the other was very plain looking - but they both had so much self assurance, that they just attracted people.
I know you can't change the fact that you are a woman, but try to work on how you project yourself. A little self assurance can go a very long way.

Good luck, and I hope things start looking up all around.

:grouphug


I really do appreciate everyone who says this to me...It makes me realize, I can change what I need to change.

[belle5691]

((((hugs)))))

Have you appealed medicades decision?

Yeah...and get this... He had medicaid while I was working and getting $12 per hour (average 35 hours a week)....BUT when I was laid off....and began getting $238 a week unemployment (about half the amount I earned working), I lost my boys medicaid AND husbands. The appeal process, the ruling was....Missouri counted only half my income if I was working, but since UI is unearned income, they count the full amount, and we got about $100 over the limit, therefore cancelling the boys insurance, and raising husbands spenddown to $1020 (more than his disability check of $940).

[tngirl]

Unfortunately some people "melt" into the background, especially when life is having fun beating them down. I think a couple of people hit the nail on the head with the self-confidence and charisma statements and for whatever reason they seem to relate with your "friend" the most. I can say this because for most of my life I was the one that "melted".

I know it isn't easy to do when you feel that you are being beaten down, but hold your head up high and believe in yourself! If you don't, no one else will. Carrying the entire load on your own is not easy, I know, but you can do it!

I truly hate hearing about your husband. Recently my husband was told that he had a heartattack and that he needs to go to a cardiologist. Since the doctor told him this it seems that all of a sudden he doesn't feel like doing anything and has gotten so grumpy. I know it is all because he is now afraid and I can't say that I blame him. Maybe your husband is afraid and obviously depressed. I can understand, but enough is enough. My husband has his appointment with the cardiologist on June 2nd and I am going with him and he is going to tell the doctors that they can discuss his medical information with me and discuss it with me. Whether your husband's doctor can discuss your husband's medical with you is not the issue, you still need to TELL them what is going on with him.

I wish you the best of luck and send out lots of hugs and support. Stay strong. I wish I could say that it will all get better, but the odds are it won't so you need to learn how to cope. And yep, this forum was as good as any to post your vent.

[belle5691]

Unfortunately some people "melt" into the background, especially when life is having fun beating them down. I think a couple of people hit the nail on the head with the self-confidence and charisma statements and for whatever reason they seem to relate with your "friend" the most. I can say this because for most of my life I was the one that "melted".

I know it isn't easy to do when you feel that you are being beaten down, but hold your head up high and believe in yourself! If you don't, no one else will. Carrying the entire load on your own is not easy, I know, but you can do it!

I truly hate hearing about your husband. Recently my husband was told that he had a heartattack and that he needs to go to a cardiologist. Since the doctor told him this it seems that all of a sudden he doesn't feel like doing anything and has gotten so grumpy. I know it is all because he is now afraid and I can't say that I blame him. Maybe your husband is afraid and obviously depressed. I can understand, but enough is enough. My husband has his appointment with the cardiologist on June 2nd and I am going with him and he is going to tell the doctors that they can discuss his medical information with me and discuss it with me. Whether your husband's doctor can discuss your husband's medical with you is not the issue, you still need to TELL them what is going on with him.

I wish you the best of luck and send out lots of hugs and support. Stay strong. I wish I could say that it will all get better, but the odds are it won't so you need to learn how to cope. And yep, this forum was as good as any to post your vent.


Thank you so much for this post! It is nice to find someone that is like me too and "melts". And it was okay when I could melt...but when because of the heart attacks, and the disability now, I have to be out there uncomfortable with what I am doing, but trying my hardest and then it's like I feel like I am failing. I HAVE to make this independent business work, because I keep trying "regular" jobs, and they aren't always patient when you have to rush out the door and get him to the hospital AGAIN and wonder if you should get the kids (teenagers) because will he make it out of this one.
I pray for strength for you with your husbands heart attack. It has to be very tough for them, and I know that. Its also tough for the caregiver. Its going on 6 years now for us. He's gone through the depression and counseling....twice in fact, and as soon as he is dismissed from the counseling, he goes back into the depression very quickly. He's been prescribed meds, he refuses to take "mood altering" drugs. I know he is depressed, and believe me---I feel for him, but sometimes I guess Im in a quandary what do you do when they refuse to help themselves? I pray that you have the patience, strength, and understanding in your situation with your husband---and I wish him the best of luck. I remember when I went through a counseling epsisode for major depression. I went to a hospital for my sessions along with people who were inpatient (group)...and there was a homeless guy there, that had a heart attack on the street. He was terrified to be alone anymore--and he was about as alone as it could get, he was homeless. But he refused to sleep in his room, he slept on a sofa in the waiting room by the nurses desk. I know there has to be a tremendous amount of fear that goes with heart attacks. I also know that if you give in to the fear, you miss out on a tremendous amount of living you have left. I hope all goes well for your family.

[tngirl]

Thank you and I wish the best for yours. Yeah, I kind of liked the "melting" thing, too. But actually after I came out of my shell I like the "new" me. It makes me feel so much more in control of my own life.

[Mary_Jo3]

Yeah...and get this... He had medicaid while I was working and getting $12 per hour (average 35 hours a week)....BUT when I was laid off....and began getting $238 a week unemployment (about half the amount I earned working), I lost my boys medicaid AND husbands. The appeal process, the ruling was....Missouri counted only half my income if I was working, but since UI is unearned income, they count the full amount, and we got about $100 over the limit, therefore cancelling the boys insurance, and raising husbands spenddown to $1020 (more than his disability check of $940).

Are you still on employment? If so the min you are off head right back down to the office and apply again. Will they pay to send you to school for retraining?

[belle5691]

Are you still on employment? If so the min you are off head right back down to the office and apply again. Will they pay to send you to school for retraining?

I have maybe 6 weeks unemployment left. And I talked to a friend I used to work with today....and she suggested the same thing...So thats the first thing Im going to check into tomorrow....for paid retraining. Thanks!

[kiki72m]

FIRST OF COME HERE AND HERE IT IS A BIG HUG... Now let your husband MD know he is depressed. And you get someone you can talk to.. Because you can't talk to your spouse about the problem when they are the problem. ONE DAY AT A TIME........ I don't know you BUT I LOVE YOU. You are a woman.... REMEMBER THAT. and a MOM and we can do anything. And we as women need to remind our selves of that. WE carry our young for 10 months (40 weeks) as they drain the life out of us to survive. While in turn our payment is having the crap kicked out of us from the inside out. ONly to deliver while they rip our insides apart and tear us a new one getting here. And we still look down at them in our arms and say it wa worth it. GIRL WE CAN DO ANYTHING WE ARE STRONG IF THAT ISN'T ENOUGH OF A REMINDER I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS......... WE ARE WOMAN HERE OUR ROAR..... It will get better this is my mantra to myself when I get depressed and you know what it works.

[kiki72m]

oh and bell if your depressed myabe you can get medical disability too.

[PrincessArky]

saying prayers for ya and I hope it gets better soon