its gonna be a long summer

[tnfuhs]

I just need to vent but its a big one. It seems like everytime my bf and I go out, he ends up getting pissed at me about something, and it ruins the whole night. Everytime, and i mean everytime this happens. it's either im not talking to him, or I'm not introducing him to someone, that im talking to, or I'm walking to fast for him, or im not walking right beside him, and im walking behind him. I decided that I'm just going to go to work, come home, and that's it, I'm not going anywhere with him anymore. He gets mad at me when I'm home, and I get a phone call from friends, or I'm watching tv and ignoring him, he gets mad if I come home from work, and go right to the bathroom, yeah to go to the "bathroom", and then to change into something more comfortable, since I work second shift. :argue thats all we seem to do anymore.

[evrita]

Umm sounds like he has some major jealousy issues and I would be getting the hell out while the getting was good or you can rent a woodchipper and bury his body after .

[ahippiechic]

Sounds like he's pretty insecure. That would suck.

[iluvmybaby]

I just need to vent but its a big one. It seems like everytime my bf and I go out, he ends up getting pissed at me about something, and it ruins the whole night. Everytime, and i mean everytime this happens. it's either im not talking to him, or I'm not introducing him to someone, that im talking to, or I'm walking to fast for him, or im not walking right beside him, and im walking behind him. I decided that I'm just going to go to work, come home, and that's it, I'm not going anywhere with him anymore. He gets mad at me when I'm home, and I get a phone call from friends, or I'm watching tv and ignoring him, he gets mad if I come home from work, and go right to the bathroom, yeah to go to the "bathroom", and then to change into something more comfortable, since I work second shift. :argue thats all we seem to do anymore.

Sirens are going off in my head, this guy has MAJOR control issues, you can even have your friends call you or watch TV? You can't go to the bathroom?? This dude is a major control freak, and he gives off a lot of "warning signs" hinting at domestic violence

IE: Controlling who you talk to, when you talk to them, where you go ((I bet he calls you all the time at work)) what and when you wear, even when you go to the bathroom. I dont want to tell you what to do, but that is SICK that he is trying to control you to the level of even the basic functions of life ((If your parents had told you, don't go to the bathroom until you spend time with me, what would you say, or if a friend told you that?!?!))

I am not trying to be drama-ish, but please think about what I am saying, to me it seems like he is trying to isolate you from everyone and make you dependant on ONLY him, to wrap himself in your life so much he controls everything in your life, including work, clothing, and when you go to the restroom

[DAVESBABYDOLL]

Sirens are going off in my head, this guy has MAJOR control issues, you can even have your friends call you or watch TV? You can't go to the bathroom?? This dude is a major control freak, and he gives off a lot of "warning signs" hinting at domestic violence

IE: Controlling who you talk to, when you talk to them, where you go ((I bet he calls you all the time at work)) what and when you wear, even when you go to the bathroom. I dont want to tell you what to do, but that is SICK that he is trying to control you to the level of even the basic functions of life ((If your parents had told you, don't go to the bathroom until you spend time with me, what would you say, or if a friend told you that?!?!))

I am not trying to be drama-ish, but please think about what I am saying, to me it seems like he is trying to isolate you from everyone and make you dependant on ONLY him, to wrap himself in your life so much he controls everything in your life, including work, clothing, and when you go to the restroom


My thoughts exactly.BTDT

[MsLynn]

how long have you been with this guy??

[JKATHERINE]

OH dear. Sounds like it's time for a new boyfriend if there's NOTHING that you can do that's right. Be happy. Dump the jerk.

[catdance]

I am in the same boat as the OP, my "guy" ruins everything..so I am out, maybe the OP will do the same..

[nightrider127]

Time to kick someones ass to the curb and have a happy summer.

[vicky122]

You are going to have a long hard life if yu don't get things to change or get out.

[Unicornmom77]

I will say a prayer for you, and I agree with everyone else, its time to move on!

[tsquared]

Men can be the sh+ts huh............

[Pepsi4me]

Before walking like everyone is saying why not try to talk to him. Explain if things dont change then you will have to make a change.

[evrita]

Before walking like everyone is saying why not try to talk to him. Explain if things dont change then you will have to make a change.

You will probally find most of us not all have been in a relationship like that and can speak from the heart that this person inst going to change if anything she might come up missing from the board and we will be reading her obit because she talked to the wrong man wore the wrong outfit stayed out too long ect..

[ilovecats]

You will probally find most of us not all have been in a relationship like that and can speak from the heart that this person inst going to change if anything she might come up missing from the board and we will be reading her obit because she talked to the wrong man wore the wrong outfit stayed out too long ect..

I agree.Although I personally have no experience with abuse.I'm just thinking if he is just a boyfriend and he acts like this,how is he going to act if they ever get married and have kids?SCARY thought.

[hblueeyes]

Too needy for me. How sad for you to feel like that. Sometimes the people we fall for are not good for us. Time to work it out or move on.

Me

[ElleGee]

Life is too short to put up with such nonsense.....

[ma4angels]

Honey, please listen to what everyone is saying. This guy sounds just like my ex husband . He started out with just small things then he got worse and worse. Then he got violent and emotionally abusive. By that time we were married and had a little girl that was put htrough the ringer with this jerkface. Don't wait until another minute. He is a contol freak and will make your life miserable. Also if you decide to break it off now don't let him manipulate you. He will try they all do. Stand your ground and if he gets really stupid please tell a family member or friend to help get this guy gone for good.

[moe265]

Been there done that...it only gets worse, leave ASAP

[Willow]

I'm sorry that's happening. ((((tnfuhs))))

[tnfuhs]

I totally agree with all of you, when I logged on this morning, I was thinking I should have put this in the prayer section, we've been together for a year now, no I will never marry him, and will never have kids with him either. It's a tough situation for me right now, and I do know I need to get out, and I will, soon, so just keep me in your prayers and things will be better for me. You are all great friends, that care. I will keep you all posted on it, believe me!!:grouphug

[sheila_361]

:hug penny you'll be in my thoughts and prayers..

[Mary_Jo3]

Don't walk RUN to the nearest exit.
Because honey "soon" isn't soon enough.
Every minute you are in this relationship is a minute you won't get back.

[Char]

Ya, what everyone else said... too needy, insecure, and, controlling. Problem with the controlling thing, it can lead to abuse, physical abuse.

I bet you feel so smothered... If ya never start that crap, you don't have to put a stop to it. No man is going to tell me where to walk, too fast, behind or ahead of him etc... I'd just tell him to 'deal with it'.

True story: 23 years ago, when HD and I first moved in together, before we were married... the very first week, it was a Friday night, and, I told him "Hey, my Mom and I are going to the Eagles to do some gambling... they close at 2:00AM, so, I should be home shortly after"... now, I'm thinking I did good... you know, respectful, since I told him where I was going, and, about the time I would be back...

So, anyways, he says "You know, I really don't want you going places like that by yourself... you know, without me"...LOL... and he went on "because what if something would happen, and I wouldn't be there"...

I turned to him and said "Hey, let's nip this in the bud right now... I appreciate that, but, I am a big girl, I went there all the time before I met you, and, I'm not about to stop going because YOU have issues." It was never mentioned again... I go places all the time by myself or with friends... when he's at home, I generally hang with him, but, when he's working (5 nights a week), I go alone or with friends.

It was his first hard core relationship... lol, he had a lot to learn... it's 23 years later now, and there's not an insecure/needy bone in his body now.

I wish you peace... hey, you'll replace him when you're ready ! :D Best wishes !

[YankeeMary]

I wish you the best. You can do it. HUGS!!!

Here is a nice site about domestic violence and abuse. I think it all starts with controlling and then it eventually turns into physical abuse.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects .htm

[Bliss]

I totally agree with all of you, when I logged on this morning, I was thinking I should have put this in the prayer section, we've been together for a year now, no I will never marry him, and will never have kids with him either. It's a tough situation for me right now, and I do know I need to get out, and I will, soon, so just keep me in your prayers and things will be better for me. You are all great friends, that care. I will keep you all posted on it, believe me!!:grouphug



A friend of mine married a man like you described in your OP. I tried my best to talk her out of it, she wasn't listening. She's been married to this fool for 7 yrs. It has been 7 yrs of hell for her, she is finally getting out of it... He's emotionally, physically & mentally abusive.

If your bf gets pissed off a lot, you need to talk to him and when talking doesn't work walk away before it gets bad for you.

[tnfuhs]

His issues are because his wife cheated on him, not that I'm making excuses for him, but that's his problem. I was in another relationship just like i am before, (yes, im a magnet for those kind). but I do know the way to get out. And for some reason I shouldn't have believed him, when I asked him if he was on meds, and his answer was no, and then I asked him if he needed meds, and his answer was still no....lol

[ang in NC]

be happy he is a bf and not a husband of 26 yrs!