LorLee14
04-19-2008, 09:48 PM
How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path
How do you get holy water?
Boil the hell out of it
What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho Cheese
What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses
What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck
What's the difference between roast beef and peasoup?
Anyone can roast beef
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers
Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
Because it scares the hell out of the dog
What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
Sanka
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The location of the dirt bag
Why does a pilgrim's pants always fall down?
Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat
What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes, WHACK! "Damn."
A bad skydiver goes, "Damn." WHACK!
What do you call a man with a car on his head?
Jack
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it!
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on it!
What do you call skydiving lawyers?
Skeet
What goes clop, clop, clop, bang, bang, clop, clop clop?
An Amish drive-by shooting
How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?
Somebody's gonna lose a trailer
They take the psycho path
How do you get holy water?
Boil the hell out of it
What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho Cheese
What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses
What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck
What's the difference between roast beef and peasoup?
Anyone can roast beef
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers
Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
Because it scares the hell out of the dog
What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?
Sanka
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The location of the dirt bag
Why does a pilgrim's pants always fall down?
Because they wear their belt buckle on their hat
What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes, WHACK! "Damn."
A bad skydiver goes, "Damn." WHACK!
What do you call a man with a car on his head?
Jack
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it!
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on it!
What do you call skydiving lawyers?
Skeet
What goes clop, clop, clop, bang, bang, clop, clop clop?
An Amish drive-by shooting
How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?
Somebody's gonna lose a trailer