Can he work too much??

[jedmatters]

I work nights, 12 and 1/2 hour shifts. So I sleep during the day: and sleep very little. I work 3 to 5 days a week: depending on the crowding in NICU.
Plus, I have had the flu since Friday night.... and I am just now feeling human.
Anyway: if the children have anything during the day at school: I go and attend it. I miss sleep, and go. I never complain to my children: as they earned a special moment and I refuse to take it from them.
My husband teaches, and he has personal days as well as sick days he can take through out the year.
Our son is the school valedictorian this year. He earned this and deserves everything that goes with it. He has had 4 schools fighting over him: he picked YALE. He got a full scholarship.
Friday, he told us about an award he won from the city, he is receiving another small scholarship. There is a luncheon in his honor on Wednesday, starts at noon, ends at about 2. He wants both of us to go.
I work Wednesday night, get home at 8 am and I am giving up sleep to attend this event: as I have to leave home by 11, and be dressed up. I get up most days by 2, as our daughter comes home by 3, and I have to have the shower done.
I asked my husband to take personal time to attend this for our son. He said he wanted to, but did not know if it was possible!
I just looked at him, and suggested he find out soon. He asked for 1/2 a day . He asked to leave the class at 11:30, which means he will be late to the luncheon (travel time from his class is over 45 minutes to the event). He said he just did not feel right asking for more time.
I told him not to come. That our son deserves to have us there for the entire event, as he is the main reason for the luncheon and to miss him getting introduced is wrong. I reminded him that work Wednesday night, and will be giving up sleep: will be awake at least 32 hours straight, and work, plus recent recovery of the flu... but our son is worth it.
My husband (who is normally a great person) said he just could not leave his class all day, they need him. I said his son needs him, as well. And his son WANTS him there. I suggested he decide what is more important: his 2nd graders having a sub all day, or his son not having him there for this event. He just looked at me. He said he is working to support his family. I said he gets paid time off: TAKE IT.
He already missed 2 honors that our son was given because he did not ask for the time off.
Just needed to air this matter.

[PrincessArky]

oh I really do hope that he will take the time off..........if that was my kid I would be so proud the Army couldnt keep me away

[ahippiechic]

oh I really do hope that he will take the time off..........if that was my kid I would be so proud the Army couldnt keep me away

Same here. I hope he decides to take the day off!

[ladybugva]

I can see why that would irritate you! while consistancy is important w/ kids in school but they can handle a sub for the day. both my parents were teachers so I know for a fact it can be worked out. I am sure you son assumes that his dad knows he wants him there but maybe suggests he tells his dad how much it would mean for him to come also. You have a lot to be proud of for your son sounds like he is well on his way!! Congrats!!

[jedmatters]

I am sure you son assumes that his dad knows he wants him there but maybe suggests he tells his dad how much it would mean for him to come also.

He told us that he really wanted both of us there for this one. He said there may be press and to have both parents there would say a lot about our family.


Eric has only missed one day this year, and it was for a school seminar that he attended, so it did not count on his days off. No sick days, no personal days have been taken. The class could be told today, and be prepared for a sub tomorrow. I know elementary students can handle one day and be a good class, if they are prepared for it. He could explain to them what is happening and that he is depending on them to show the sub how great they are. That he has the best class in the school, etc.

[mosdata1]

I hope he decides to attend. Do you remember the song by Cat Stevens - about the father always working & not making time for his son, and then when the father was ready to spend time with the son the son had no time for him?
I used to tell DH that if he got hit by a bus, his job would be filled in 1 week while his family would always have a 'hole', and be incomplete.
I hope your DH changes his mind.
A big Congrats for your son's success!

:congrat :congrat :congrat

[suprtruckr]

Do you remember the song by Cat Stevens - about the father always working & not making time for his son, and then when the father was ready to spend time with the son the son had no time for him?

cats in the cradle by harry chapin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlHdjjHNEC8

congrats to your son

[mosdata1]

cats in the cradle by harry chapin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlHdjjHNEC8

congrats to your son

Okay had a major brain lapse. Thanks for the correct info. Cats in the Cradle - Cat Stevens - not even close huh?

[suprtruckr]

LOL no biggie cat also did a cover but harry is the original ;)

[ahippiechic]

LOL no biggie cat also did a cover but harry is the original ;)

Yep. And Ugly Kid Joe also did a cover.

[aprilblues]

Yeah I agree with you. He should be there for your son especially since he's missed the others.

My dh is the same way though. He will not take off. Everyone else at his company does but if he needs to, he acts like it's the worse thing in the world.

I was also really sick a month or so ago. I have 3 kids and couldn't really take care of them. He has both personal and vacation days and he said he couldn't take either because they were too busy. Oh, but the other guys that he works with always take off for the dumbest things.

[magenta]

(I was thinking of that song as I was reading this post.)

Your son is doing just awesome in life! :)

[LuvBigRip]

I would ask your dh if he realizes that soon, he will no longer have the opportunity to enjoy in his son's success. If he is off to college soon, the opportunities are fewer and farther between. Explain to him that work will be there every day, his son will not. My son is a 3rd grader and he lives for subs.

[Willow]

cats in the cradle by harry chapin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlHdjjHNEC8

congrats to your son

This is off topic but we were watching VH1 classics last weekend and they were talking about Harry Chapin and that song. He went home one day and his wife said I wrote a song and it has nothing to do with us or anyone we know and asked him if he would put music to it.


Jedmatters I hope your husband will be able to attend the luncheon. It sounds like it's very important to your son to have both of you there.

[ladybugva]

I hope then that he figures it out and goes. It will mean so much and he should be honored to attend and show how proud he is of his son.

[dcut4]

Wow what accomplishments your son has made. You must be very proud.
Too bad dad is sending the message that he is not as important as missing one day of work.
I work at a school and missing ONE DAY is not a big deal at all. The kids actually like it when they get a sub sometimes.
Maybe when hubby retires and gets all the rewards for not missing days etc...son will be too busy to care. Hope he changes his mind.

[Shann]

how great for your son, big big congrats to him! I hope your husband makes the right decision to take time off so he can see his son be honored.

[wobblypops]

Would the husband be proud of one of his students for the same outstanding award? What he is doing is very very wrong, especailly as a teacher he should understand that when a family is active in their children's development only good things can happen, for the most part. Maybe he should start living the part or a parent & do the right thing.

I'm living proof to that "Cats in the Cradle" song. My father never came to anything I ever had or achieved. He was never there for me except when he wanted to be & now that is how I treat him except I never want to be with him. I've finally broke all contact with him over 8 years ago & now I can no longer face being disappointed.

[kelblend]

Congratulations to your son for his awesome achievements! The father should be there, no ifs, ands or buts. Sometimes things really are that simple.

[jedmatters]

He took the day off.
My son (the teen angst came out) said he really wanted him there, but understood that the 2nd graders have never been without him in their lives, and needed him so much more. Then my moody teen says that he understands why more poeple say HI MOM when they do anything.

When did my son get so good at guilt????


But... my husband is getting ready to go to the lunch, and is taking the entire day off.

[mosdata1]

Great! I'm happy that your son made him see the light.
Have a great time & let your son know that his extended family at BBF is very proud of him.

[LuvBigRip]

That is great news. He won't be sorry he made that decision.

[wobblypops]

I'd still play "Cats in the Cradle" while driving together in the car.

[Mom2Shaun]

Wonderful! Your son is brilliant in many ways! Good for him in making his dad see the error of his ways!