so here i am....

[tljohn123]

it's 2:30 am and I can't sleep. The two older kids are gone and the younger one has decided he can't sleep by himself. So he has to have daddy with him because he's 'scared'. Funny thing....he sleeps by himself during the week. He's 9 years old....a bit old to be sleeping with dad I think.

[ilovecats]

I hope you finally got some sleep.

[buglebe]

9 is not too old to be sleeping with dad.

[tljohn123]

I did get sleep. 9 years old in my book is too old to sleep with your parents. My parents did not sleep with us-----if we had a nightmare they would come in and calm us down but did not crawl into bed with us. All three of us are independant people. I love my step kids to death, but they are spoiled and do NOT do anything around here----they watch us do it. Sleeping with your parents after a certain age is wrong. They are getting to be young men. Young men ask a lot of questions.

Would you crawl into bed with a 14, a 12, or a 9 year old? Maybe some do, but other people can get funny ideas----this is why I think it's too old. Imagine this.....little Johnny goes to school and tells his buddy 'my daddy or mommy sleeps with me every night'. Buddy goes home and tells his parents what little Johnny says.....his parents get thinking things they shouldn't. See where this goes?

My brother is going thru this now. He and his wife used to lie on the bed with their kids.....and now the kids are in foster care.

Just a question though....how old do others think is too old to be sleeping with parents?

No flames please, this is my opinion and one that I will stick with.

[Lild]

well... my oldest is 6, and she sleeps in the bed with me if she is sick... our kids do not sleep in our bed unless they are sick.... I understand what your saying and I agree, just b/c they have a bad dream doesn't mean they can come into our bed...we calm them down and everything works out....BUT if any of the kids are sick, I feel more comfortable having them in my bed to watch over, but they are also little

[mosdata1]

When my girls are horribly sick, they crawl into bed with me. DH then goes downstairs to sleep on the couch. DD's are now 15 & 17.

[Kelsey1224]

I feel that it totally depends on the situation. It can be completely normal. I had some friends from church who believed in the whole "family bed" thing. Everyone slept together in the room. (And these weren't toddler children either.) Beds were put on the floor around the main bed.

I asked my friend what she and her husband did for 'alone time'...she said they worked it out just fine. Since she had 5 children, I had to agree with her.

Now, I never slept well with my children and moved them to their own room rather early. But, it wasn't because I thought there were something wrong with their sleeping with hubby and me. It was because I needed my sleep and couldn't get it with them in the bed with me.

As for a child being able to sleep during the day without a parent...that's a different situation. It isn't dark outside during the day.

Obviously there are other issues going on here and you and your husband need to get those issues resolved. But, I don't think there is anything abnormal about the behavior. This is a little boy whose parents are divorced...and his dad is remarried. It sounds like he need reassurance from your hubby that he is still important in his life. And he wants to feel safe.

[JustDoIt]

See, I don't mind having my little pooker come and join me to sleep. Even last night when I was having trouble falling asleep I went and got him and brought him to bed with me. (My SO works nights)....he's only 4 now, but I see it as a bond. He needs me to be there, and I will be, whenever I can. Even when he is 9, and just wants to be close to his Mommy (or Daddy in your case)

Is this a recurring incident? How often does it happen? Are there events which make it happen more often?

Maybe you need to sit and talk with your DH about this.

[Bliss]

I did get sleep. 9 years old in my book is too old to sleep with your parents. My parents did not sleep with us-----if we had a nightmare they would come in and calm us down but did not crawl into bed with us. All three of us are independant people. I love my step kids to death, but they are spoiled and do NOT do anything around here----they watch us do it. Sleeping with your parents after a certain age is wrong. They are getting to be young men. Young men ask a lot of questions.

Would you crawl into bed with a 14, a 12, or a 9 year old? Maybe some do, but other people can get funny ideas----this is why I think it's too old. Imagine this.....little Johnny goes to school and tells his buddy 'my daddy or mommy sleeps with me every night'. Buddy goes home and tells his parents what little Johnny says.....his parents get thinking things they shouldn't. See where this goes?

My brother is going thru this now. He and his wife used to lie on the bed with their kids.....and now the kids are in foster care.

Just a question though....how old do others think is too old to be sleeping with parents?

No flames please, this is my opinion and one that I will stick with.

I totally understand what you are saying. Nine yrs old is to old - nowadays people will assume something is going on in the home if the parents sleep with their children. I've read posts on here about stories posted and people "assumed" the worst. It's a shame people assume without knowing the facts, those people are the ones who ruin peoples lives by having children rip from their parents over an assumption..... Sorry your brother is going through this mess.

[tljohn123]

I'm glad everyone understands how I feel about this----or so it seems anyway. If the child is sick, that IS a different matter altogether. But if the child is trying to get daddy or mommy to himself, well, I think that's wrong.

You'd have to know these kids, but they are absolutely fearless. I was talking to hubby about it today and he says all the kids did it and it would be coming to an end very soon because they start feeling really embarassed. I dunno. He started sleeping with the kids because he wasn't about to sleep with their mother again (long story, very sad). So the youngest got used to dad being with him whenever he wanted.

We really don't have a lot of issues here. The kids know they are loved and wanted by US (the mother however, different story). We show them this every single day. We put what we want aside to make sure the kids are happy and usually do whatever we can to get them what they want. I just think its time for us to stop babying the youngest...he's still at the point where he believes if he cries and whines then he gets what he wants or gets someone else in trouble! How fast he's learning that things don't work that way now!