Jolie Rouge
02-11-2008, 04:23 PM
The rebirth of shame
February 11, 2008
ABC News has the story of parents who are actually–gasp–acting like parents and refusing to let their children get away with rotten behavior. They spotlight some creative methods of discipline. Naturally, the self-esteem uber alles crowd is horrified: http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=4271266
After her 8-year-old son acted up in class, a Jacksonville, Fla., mom employed a controversial punishment to teach him a lesson.
Marcia Harvey made her son Roland stand on the sidewalk for three hours with a sign telling the world how he misbehaved in his second-grade class. The sign read, “I was rude to my teacher. I can’t come to school. I am sorry.” The other side read, “I will make good choices.”
Harvey said today on “Good Morning America” that she didn’t want to embarrass her son, but thought a different type of punishment might get the message across. “It was a way of getting his attention and getting him back on track,” Harvey said.
“I want him to be successful in life.”
Many ABCNews.com readers praised Harvey last week for taking a strong stand. One comment read: “It’s refreshing to see parents discipline their children without fear of reprisal.” But the sight of teary-eyed Roland tugged the heart strings of others readers, some of whom said Harvey had taken the punishment too far.
Some experts agree, saying teaching by humiliation does not work. “All it will do is produce more anger and resentment in the child,” said psychologist Jill Hunziker.
Harvey is not the first parent to try this form of discipline. Fed up by her 14-year old daughter’s bad grades, one Oklahoma City mom forced the teen to stand at a busy intersection wearing a sign that promised she would try harder in school.
“I was embarrassed and I think it helped me a lot,” said the daughter, Coretha Henderson. “It helped me realize that I can do better and I need to try harder.”
There’s hope yet.
I can tell you from working in the public school system and talks with family members in the justice system that there are far too many parents that provide no structure or discipline for their children.
I keep a list on my office wall :
“How to Raise a Juvenile Delinquent in 12 Easy Lesson“
1. Begin with infancy to give them everything they want.
That way they will grow up believing that the world owes them everything.
2. When they pick up “bad” or “dirty” words, laugh at them.
That will make them think it is “cute”.
They will then run off and pick up some words
that will blow the top of your head off.
3. Never give them any spiritual training, until the age of 21
and then let them decide on their own.
By the same logic, never teach them the English language.
Maybe when they are old enough, they will decide to speak Bantu.
4. Praise them in their presence to all the neighbors;
show how much smarter they are than the neighbors’ children
and anyone and everyone else.
Always be prepared to "up the ante" on other childrens efforts,
regardless of the facts.
5. Avoid the use of the word “wrong”.
It may cause them to develop a “guilt complex”.
This will prepare them to believe that when they are punished later on
for stealing cars or assaulting others that society is “against them”
and that they are being “persecuted”.
6. Pick up everything after them: shoes, books, clothes, etc.
Do everything for them so they will be experienced
at throwing burdens on others.
7. Let them read anything they want.
Have no concern whatever for what goes on in their mind.
Provide them with Lily cups for their lips,
but let their brain drink out of any dirty container
for words and ideas.
8. Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children.
This way they will be prepared for broken homes later.
9. Give them all the spending money they want.
Never require them to earn their own.
They should learn that society owes them a living
and they should never have to work to support themselves
or the next generation of delinquents they may raise.
10. Satisfy all of their cravings for food, drinks, and everything else
that has to do with the sense of taste and touch,
gratifying every sensual desire.
In this way, they can justify stealing from others,
raping someone for sexual gratification, using drugs, etc.
11. Take their side against policemen, teachers and neighbors.
They are all “prejudiced” against your child.
12. When they get into real trouble, always defend yourself and say,
“I never could do anything with that child.”
- Author Unknown
It is scary how many of those behaviors you can and will see in parents today. They must be studying hard to get everything on the list down pat, in case there is a quiz.
My hat goes off to these parents and others trying to find some way to set their children on the straight and narrow path, so they grow up to be productive citizens.
Anyone else have a similar story? Feel free to share.
February 11, 2008
ABC News has the story of parents who are actually–gasp–acting like parents and refusing to let their children get away with rotten behavior. They spotlight some creative methods of discipline. Naturally, the self-esteem uber alles crowd is horrified: http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=4271266
After her 8-year-old son acted up in class, a Jacksonville, Fla., mom employed a controversial punishment to teach him a lesson.
Marcia Harvey made her son Roland stand on the sidewalk for three hours with a sign telling the world how he misbehaved in his second-grade class. The sign read, “I was rude to my teacher. I can’t come to school. I am sorry.” The other side read, “I will make good choices.”
Harvey said today on “Good Morning America” that she didn’t want to embarrass her son, but thought a different type of punishment might get the message across. “It was a way of getting his attention and getting him back on track,” Harvey said.
“I want him to be successful in life.”
Many ABCNews.com readers praised Harvey last week for taking a strong stand. One comment read: “It’s refreshing to see parents discipline their children without fear of reprisal.” But the sight of teary-eyed Roland tugged the heart strings of others readers, some of whom said Harvey had taken the punishment too far.
Some experts agree, saying teaching by humiliation does not work. “All it will do is produce more anger and resentment in the child,” said psychologist Jill Hunziker.
Harvey is not the first parent to try this form of discipline. Fed up by her 14-year old daughter’s bad grades, one Oklahoma City mom forced the teen to stand at a busy intersection wearing a sign that promised she would try harder in school.
“I was embarrassed and I think it helped me a lot,” said the daughter, Coretha Henderson. “It helped me realize that I can do better and I need to try harder.”
There’s hope yet.
I can tell you from working in the public school system and talks with family members in the justice system that there are far too many parents that provide no structure or discipline for their children.
I keep a list on my office wall :
“How to Raise a Juvenile Delinquent in 12 Easy Lesson“
1. Begin with infancy to give them everything they want.
That way they will grow up believing that the world owes them everything.
2. When they pick up “bad” or “dirty” words, laugh at them.
That will make them think it is “cute”.
They will then run off and pick up some words
that will blow the top of your head off.
3. Never give them any spiritual training, until the age of 21
and then let them decide on their own.
By the same logic, never teach them the English language.
Maybe when they are old enough, they will decide to speak Bantu.
4. Praise them in their presence to all the neighbors;
show how much smarter they are than the neighbors’ children
and anyone and everyone else.
Always be prepared to "up the ante" on other childrens efforts,
regardless of the facts.
5. Avoid the use of the word “wrong”.
It may cause them to develop a “guilt complex”.
This will prepare them to believe that when they are punished later on
for stealing cars or assaulting others that society is “against them”
and that they are being “persecuted”.
6. Pick up everything after them: shoes, books, clothes, etc.
Do everything for them so they will be experienced
at throwing burdens on others.
7. Let them read anything they want.
Have no concern whatever for what goes on in their mind.
Provide them with Lily cups for their lips,
but let their brain drink out of any dirty container
for words and ideas.
8. Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children.
This way they will be prepared for broken homes later.
9. Give them all the spending money they want.
Never require them to earn their own.
They should learn that society owes them a living
and they should never have to work to support themselves
or the next generation of delinquents they may raise.
10. Satisfy all of their cravings for food, drinks, and everything else
that has to do with the sense of taste and touch,
gratifying every sensual desire.
In this way, they can justify stealing from others,
raping someone for sexual gratification, using drugs, etc.
11. Take their side against policemen, teachers and neighbors.
They are all “prejudiced” against your child.
12. When they get into real trouble, always defend yourself and say,
“I never could do anything with that child.”
- Author Unknown
It is scary how many of those behaviors you can and will see in parents today. They must be studying hard to get everything on the list down pat, in case there is a quiz.
My hat goes off to these parents and others trying to find some way to set their children on the straight and narrow path, so they grow up to be productive citizens.
Anyone else have a similar story? Feel free to share.