galeane29
01-29-2008, 08:54 AM
I had typed out this long post and lost it when my PC decided to freeze...gah!
I'll try to make it short.
I was adopted at 7 and my 1st dh had also been adopted. I had found my adopted family when I was 18. Meanwhile DH was jealous and upset because we knew nothing but the name of his Birthmother. Years after we were married and had 2 kids I found out he had been secretly taking out loans, gambeling and stealing. I had had enough of being broke all the time and asked him for a divorce. I had no where to go, none of my family had room for me and the kids and DH would'nt move out. I had no choice but to stay in the house. I would get a job, he would change his shift so I couldnt work. He would hide my keys or disconnect something on my car so I couldnt go anywhere. He had my cell turned off and house phone disconnected.
He had become abusive verbally and physically even so far as to attempt rape. He had my entire family convinced that I was a horrible person and nobody would talk to me nor believe me about what was going on at home. He would never do anything infront of the kids to keep him from looking bad. ( they were 5 and 8 at the time) I went into a deep depression, stayed at the house all the time , I had even gotten to the point that I wasnt taking care of my kids. I just did'nt care anymore, I was a prisioner in my own body.
My brother had sent me a computer for my birthday that year. I started getting online and found an Alabama chat room on MSN ( huge mistake)
and started making friends. I had gotten a lil too friendly with a man, that I had met once in person and one thing led to another and well....yeah I had a one night stand.
I did'nt have the guts to tell my DH since we were still married I felt like a whore. My aunt ended up telling him one day in anger thinking it would make him finaly leave. No, that did'nt work..it made the situation worse. He would call into work and stay at the house and just sit and stare at me. If I moved, he would follow me. One time in a fit of rage he had me up against the wall by my throat with his forearm. I clawed at thim to get away, he called the cops. I was arrested infront of my kids and spent the night in jail.
I called my mother to come bail me out but she said I deserved to stay in there seeing I had brought it all on myself. (bitch)
A couple of months later I had gone out with a friend of mine, DH followed and he was drunk. He tried to get me to leave with him but I refused. He cold cocked me in the face, he was arrested. I got back home, packed my stuff and couldnt leave because the ass had my keys. I had no other choice but to sit there and wait till he got back home. When he did , he got a handgun he had bought me years earlier, loaded it and started waving it around. I got my keys from him somehow and got the hell outta dodge.
Made it to my mothers house where DH was on the phone with my kids telling them that he loved them and goodbye.
Long story short, there was a highspeed car chase where it ended with DH turning the gun on himself. I heard the whole thing on the officers radio. I was devistated, I was in shock.
My inlaws blame me. They call me a murderer. They have not wanted anything to do with me so they dont keep in contact with the kids ( now 13 and 16)My daughter has gotten emails and myspace messages telling her to come visit in Texas and they will pay for everything. What I am mad about is this....after the funeral they begged me to let them take a box of pictures ( a moving box size mind you) with them because they wanted to make nice photo albums and such for the kids. Well, over 7 years later the kids still dont have their pictures and videos. The inlaws wont send them back. I'm furious and my kids are pissed off. But in the latest message from the aunt to my daughter she tells her that I said the kids wanted nothing to do with the family. I never said that, what I said was that I did'nt want them sending the kids emails and messages trying to lure them away. They have not bothered to talk to me at all.
DH's family does'nt understand what I had to put up with and no my affair was totaly uncalled for I do not condone what I did by all means. I apologized to DH for that but I still was not sorry for wanting a divorce.
He was upset because he couldnt find his bio mother, his parents had divorced and that tore him up. He I think was bipolor but refused to go to the doc. There was so many signs but nobody would listen to me. He was a smooth talker and had everyone wrapped around his finger.
I did'nt make him take his life, I did'nt ! I loved that man with all of my soul.
I left home at 16 to marry him I wanted a dozen babies with him. I wanted to spend the rest of eternity with him. I still hurt to the core but i'm being called a murderer by his family and it hurts so much like it happend yesturday.
I have remarried and have a wonderful life. But I still think back to what I could have done to make DH1 to not do what he did. I know it was not my fault but ....in a way sometimes I think it is.
There is sooo much more to the story but I could be here all day typing.
I'll try to make it short.
I was adopted at 7 and my 1st dh had also been adopted. I had found my adopted family when I was 18. Meanwhile DH was jealous and upset because we knew nothing but the name of his Birthmother. Years after we were married and had 2 kids I found out he had been secretly taking out loans, gambeling and stealing. I had had enough of being broke all the time and asked him for a divorce. I had no where to go, none of my family had room for me and the kids and DH would'nt move out. I had no choice but to stay in the house. I would get a job, he would change his shift so I couldnt work. He would hide my keys or disconnect something on my car so I couldnt go anywhere. He had my cell turned off and house phone disconnected.
He had become abusive verbally and physically even so far as to attempt rape. He had my entire family convinced that I was a horrible person and nobody would talk to me nor believe me about what was going on at home. He would never do anything infront of the kids to keep him from looking bad. ( they were 5 and 8 at the time) I went into a deep depression, stayed at the house all the time , I had even gotten to the point that I wasnt taking care of my kids. I just did'nt care anymore, I was a prisioner in my own body.
My brother had sent me a computer for my birthday that year. I started getting online and found an Alabama chat room on MSN ( huge mistake)
and started making friends. I had gotten a lil too friendly with a man, that I had met once in person and one thing led to another and well....yeah I had a one night stand.
I did'nt have the guts to tell my DH since we were still married I felt like a whore. My aunt ended up telling him one day in anger thinking it would make him finaly leave. No, that did'nt work..it made the situation worse. He would call into work and stay at the house and just sit and stare at me. If I moved, he would follow me. One time in a fit of rage he had me up against the wall by my throat with his forearm. I clawed at thim to get away, he called the cops. I was arrested infront of my kids and spent the night in jail.
I called my mother to come bail me out but she said I deserved to stay in there seeing I had brought it all on myself. (bitch)
A couple of months later I had gone out with a friend of mine, DH followed and he was drunk. He tried to get me to leave with him but I refused. He cold cocked me in the face, he was arrested. I got back home, packed my stuff and couldnt leave because the ass had my keys. I had no other choice but to sit there and wait till he got back home. When he did , he got a handgun he had bought me years earlier, loaded it and started waving it around. I got my keys from him somehow and got the hell outta dodge.
Made it to my mothers house where DH was on the phone with my kids telling them that he loved them and goodbye.
Long story short, there was a highspeed car chase where it ended with DH turning the gun on himself. I heard the whole thing on the officers radio. I was devistated, I was in shock.
My inlaws blame me. They call me a murderer. They have not wanted anything to do with me so they dont keep in contact with the kids ( now 13 and 16)My daughter has gotten emails and myspace messages telling her to come visit in Texas and they will pay for everything. What I am mad about is this....after the funeral they begged me to let them take a box of pictures ( a moving box size mind you) with them because they wanted to make nice photo albums and such for the kids. Well, over 7 years later the kids still dont have their pictures and videos. The inlaws wont send them back. I'm furious and my kids are pissed off. But in the latest message from the aunt to my daughter she tells her that I said the kids wanted nothing to do with the family. I never said that, what I said was that I did'nt want them sending the kids emails and messages trying to lure them away. They have not bothered to talk to me at all.
DH's family does'nt understand what I had to put up with and no my affair was totaly uncalled for I do not condone what I did by all means. I apologized to DH for that but I still was not sorry for wanting a divorce.
He was upset because he couldnt find his bio mother, his parents had divorced and that tore him up. He I think was bipolor but refused to go to the doc. There was so many signs but nobody would listen to me. He was a smooth talker and had everyone wrapped around his finger.
I did'nt make him take his life, I did'nt ! I loved that man with all of my soul.
I left home at 16 to marry him I wanted a dozen babies with him. I wanted to spend the rest of eternity with him. I still hurt to the core but i'm being called a murderer by his family and it hurts so much like it happend yesturday.
I have remarried and have a wonderful life. But I still think back to what I could have done to make DH1 to not do what he did. I know it was not my fault but ....in a way sometimes I think it is.
There is sooo much more to the story but I could be here all day typing.