Are there others who find Christmas sad for one reason or another?

[buglebe]

I don't know the real deep dark secret for why I find Christmas sad but I have been that way for a long time. I don't know when it started. I remember as a child finding Christmas fun. I remember when we were first married I hated it because I was a shy person and didn't enjoy the opening of presents and wondering if my husbands family would like what they got from us. I don't why I put such importance on it. His family was very loud and demonstrative, just the opposite from me. And if I just opened my present and said thank you they thought I didn't like it. I just wasn't enthusiastic enough. Then we went through the years of wondering if we could afford Christmas for the 3 kids or going into debt which I always hated and my husband didn't care, so we fought over that. Now I find it sad as I think about all the Christmas's from the past and the family members who are not here anymore. I always miss my parents so much at this time of year.
Are there others who find this time of year bitter sweet too?

[gmyers]

The thing that is sad to me is my whole family used to make it a point to go to one sisters house to spend Christmas eve and Christmas day together when their kids were little. Now since everyones kids are grown and have kids of their own we don't do anything together now but maybe call each other. Thats what I miss. We had so much fun together.

[Mystica131]

I think I've always had in my head the vision of a perfect Christmas with the family decorating the Christmas tree and everyone's happy. And it never happens that way. For as long as I can remember decorating is a hassle that I end up dragging everyone through. Oh, sure, they like it once it's done, but no one wants to help. I used to love baking cookies and giving them as gifts. Now my husband has a list ten miles long of all the people he needs to give them to. It's like I'm a factory instead of doing something I enjoy.

I usually send out loads of Christmas cards. I always enjoy seeing the pictures of everyone's kids and how they've grown, even if it's people I don't talk to regularly anymore.

This year I just can't find it in me to do any of it. It makes me sad that I can't and makes me feel somewhat guilty. I hope next year is better, but this year I'm just going to let it go.

[Bubblescc]

I feel sad some days and happy some days. My brothers birthday is tomorrow and he passed away in 2002. So that is when the sadness came in. I used to get sad after Christmas was over, but now its a mixture. Maybe I was a little sad before then, but just realized it after my brother passed. I dont really know...

[Mr Ginny]

Christmas doesn't make me sad but this time of year does. I believe that it's just the cold weather that brings on the blues.

[Wimzik]

Christmas morning is always hard for me because I miss talking to my mom first thing in the morning, and then going out to breakfast with my ex-husbands grandmother(that was her favorite part of christmas) they are both gone now. So I always cook a big christmas breakfast and invite everyone as kind of a tribute to grandma even though my ex and I aren't together anymore.

[tnfuhs]

I lost my mom in 1990 right on christmas morning, although its been years, I still find it sad and hard to believe. I go thru the motions for my kids, and try to make it the best for them.

[tngirl]

Christmas time always brings the John Lennon song to mind "So This Is Christmas".

[whatever]

Christmas time always brings the John Lennon song to mind "So This Is Christmas".

good point. I used to LOVE christmas. but the past few years me and my dh just dread puting up our tree. We used to go get real ones. Decorate the outside of out yard. BIG TIME!! We won 1st place. And then i started having my neck problems and having problems at my job (with my boss) and quit.
that was about 3 and half years ago. And its been getting worse every year with decorating. We have the tree up (today) still no decorations.

[Starr_79]

My family always got together at my Grandma's house for Christmas dinner. But when I was 19 my parents split up. Now my mom and her parents and me live in another state than the rest of my family. It turns out it was all the family together that I loved most about Christmas. Wheather I am here with my mom and her parents, or in California with the rest of my family, it is still not the same since everyone's not there anymore. So now Christmas time is always sad to me, because I wish it could be like it used to be, but it never will be.

[PrincessArky]

I lost my mom in 1990 right on christmas morning, although its been years, I still find it sad and hard to believe. I go thru the motions for my kids, and try to make it the best for them.

OMG I cant even imagine what that has to be like for you :(

I get sad because I miss my dad he died when I was pregnant with my first child so he never got to meet any of my kids :(

[catssass]

I miss the *magic* of Christmas I used to feel as a child, my Mom always had our Christmas's looking right out of a magazine, all glittery and perfectly decorated, the food was awesome, we always got new jammies on Christmas eve and had hot chocolate and got to open one present, I miss her and all that went with her, I wish I was little again and my Mom was still here....

[kygirl71]

Christmas has not been the same for me since my dad passed away on November 30, 1998. I'm like some of the others. I remember Christmas as a kid and being so thrilled. Mom, Dad, and brother and I piling in the car and going to Grandma's house and the whole family being there. I remember being so anxious to see the Christmas Cartoons that came on every year. None of its the same now. Without Dad, it just all changed. I try to make it as happy as possible for my kids. Dad died when oldest DD was 13 months old so she has no memory of him. But to me, there is just an empty whole.

[cheapskate21]

i am clinically depressed have been that way since i found out SANTA does not excist:) but i lost my mom in april or this year and my wife in 2002,so i am not looking forward to the holiday as i have no one to share it or my life with:(( i even spent $150 on toys for tots this year thinking it would help get me in the spirit and out of my funk but it didnt

[ilovecats]

I find it sad because when I see the commercials or hear what my kid's friends are getting,it makes me feel bad that we cannot afford what I would love to get them.I know that is not what Christmas is about,but it still bothers me.They get the minimum and I know people are worse off and I should feel happy for what I have but sometimes you can't help the thoughts that go through your own head,ya know?This year will be really hard because my oldest(used to be my only baby)is in boot camp and will not be here.We missed him on Thanksgiving too.I feel especially bad because the last few years he has really got on my/everyone in the house nerves.Now he is not here and I wish he would walk in right now and annoy me like the old days.Reading these words over,I sound like A cold-hearted bitch,but the tears are rolling down my cheeks.

[ilovecats]

i am clinically depressed have been that way since i found out SANTA does not excist:) but i lost my mom in april or this year and my wife in 2002,so i am not looking forward to the holiday as i have no one to share it or my life with:(( i even spent $150 on toys for tots this year thinking it would help get me in the spirit and out of my funk but it didnt

omg,this made me even sadder.So sorry!I hear that volunteering in soup kitchens can really make people feel connected to others.Please try to connect to someone.pm me or someone.

[gmyers]

I find it sad because when I see the commercials or hear what my kid's friends are getting,it makes me feel bad that we cannot afford what I would love to get them.I know that is not what Christmas is about,but it still bothers me.They get the minimum and I know people are worse off and I should feel happy for what I have but sometimes you can't help the thoughts that go through your own head,ya know?This year will be really hard because my oldest(used to be my only baby)is in boot camp and will not be here.We missed him on Thanksgiving too.I feel especially bad because the last few years he has really got on my/everyone in the house nerves.Now he is not here and I wish he would walk in right now and annoy me like the old days.Reading these words over,I sound like A cold-hearted bitch,but the tears are rolling down my cheeks.

You don't sound cold hearted at all . Just like someone that loves there kids and wants to do more for them. Which is what all parents want. And like someone that loves and misses their son.

[gmyers]

i am clinically depressed have been that way since i found out SANTA does not excist:) but i lost my mom in april or this year and my wife in 2002,so i am not looking forward to the holiday as i have no one to share it or my life with:(( i even spent $150 on toys for tots this year thinking it would help get me in the spirit and out of my funk but it didnt

I'm sorry for your losses.That was really nice of you to buy toys for kids that don't have any. Shows what a special person you are. Don't give up you sound like the kind of person that any woman would be proud to have in their life. I believe there is someone else out there that would love to have you in their life. And I pray that God will help her find you or you find her. And I believe that you will find someone that will make you feel good again. I hope I'm not getting too personal but You really sound like a good person. And someone will see that too.

[Shann]

I get sad around christmas as well... really this time of year is just super depressing, once again I'm by myself after a horrid relationship, my family is 1600 miles away, and as much as I'd love to visit them, I don't have the money or the skin to be able to survive below freezing temps. I'm sick of all those commercials w/ happy couples in them, I keep thinking when is that going to be me? I'd much rather go to bed, pull the covers over my head and come out in the spring.

[Army-Mom]

I miss my brother and it is almost the one year anniversay of his murder. My birthday is coming up and he ALWAYS called me and this year there will be no call, I would sit and wait for him to call me..He loved Christmas..

[tnfuhs]

OMG I cant even imagine what that has to be like for you :(

I get sad because I miss my dad he died when I was pregnant with my first child so he never got to meet any of my kids :(

I was also pregnant with my second child at the time, I am grateful she got to see my first son, she had the nickname of 'Old mom', she was bringing up my niece, because my sister had her when she was 17 and still in school, she was only 49 when she passed from cancer. It was hard, the tree came down really quick,and it was hard opening the presents she had gotten for us. She always loved christmas music too, so it took me years to even be able to start listening to it again.
I'm sorry to hear about your father, every year it will get easier tho, and there are a lot of regrets I have not being there till the end with my mom, but I needed to be there for my dad, because he couldn't handle staying with my mom, he didnt want to see her go.

[nightrider127]

I am happy, yet sad too if that makes sense.

Me and hubby used to have a big family get together right before Christmas at our house and it saddens both of us to think about those we have lost that used to come to that get together.

But you know, to honor their memory, we must go on and be as happy as we can be. They would expect us to do that.

[gordo24]

not to get off the subject of x-mas, but mine starts in otc. and doesn't end until next march. my son died on Oct.1, 2002. halloween was his favorite holiday, then i have thanksgiving to get threw, then x-mas. jan. 31 2008 is his son's birthday (he will be 7 .) then Feb 28 , 2008 is my sons birthday, he will (would) be 30. top it off my other son & his girlfriend & their 3 kids moved to AR. in sept. just wish they all could be here, but i must remember to be thankfull for what we do have, because I DO KNOW things could be worse. all in all , I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GREAT HOLIDAY & EVEN A BETTER NEW YEAR!!

[DAVESBABYDOLL]

Like nightrider, I am happy and sad.

Happy because I am blessed with my children, family and friends.

Sad because, my nephew EOW (died in the line of duty,he was a sheriff deputy)two years ago and his children don't have him in physical form, my youngest nephew took his life at 17 years of age on Memorial day this year, my son is deployed again this year.

[sheila_361]

I'm also both happy and sad.... I miss my mom so much still she passed away Jan.19 2005... Last night I watched the movie Christmas Shoes and just bawled my eyes out, it was so sad and yet heart-warming..

[TGONZALES]

I am always known as the Grinch or Scrooge. I have always hated the holidays, anyone who grew up with an alcoholic parent will know why. The only things I enjoy around this time of year is helping other people. Our community is devastated right now due to the floods last week. My Sil and her family had 6 feet of water in their house and lost everything, but everyone is safe. Our community is really pulling together. We were a very poor community as it was but now, who knows what will happen to some of these families. We also have a lot of aid coming in from other people around the country. This does make me think that maybe the true meaning of Christmas will shine this year. To me, Christmas is about connecting with each other.

[Diana777]

Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years. I hate them all. They always remind me what a loser I am. I have nothing and no one and I tend to spend a lot of time crying. I have no husband, kids or boyfriend. I have only a couple of friends. I no longer attend christmas with my mom, dad and sister's family because I have not had enough money to buy presents in several years. Plus it just makes things worse when I go because I see what they have and know I will never have any of it. I am currently unemployed but I have always worked 2 jobs and barely scrape by. I have a piece of crap car that is falling apart, a peice of shit trailer (or for the politically correct mobile home), no savings, no checking, no insurance, and have never made above poverty level even with two jobs. I also have no luck. I know how the wii's are the hot item this year and I maxed out my only credit card to buy two wii's to sell on ebay hoping for a bit of extra cash since I have been seeing them sell for $400 and up. I put the first one up for auction and ended up losing money because it sold for much less than $400 and by the time I pay the ebay fees I have actually lost $3.14. I think I will just return the other one. I cannot afford to lose anymore money as it is I have no gas in my car and almost no food in the house. Anyway I do not have the nerve to try to off myself (would probably turn myself into a vegetable) so for several years I have just been marking my time until I die. YES I have been on a number of anti-depressants but no matter how many pills I take it does not make my money multiply. Not everything can be fixed by a pill. Christmas time just amplifies the fact that I live in "the greatest country in the world" and am fairly intelligent and even with the waste of money associates degree I have (which no one else in my family has attended college) I am the white trash loser of the family. So YES I find christmas sad.

[TGONZALES]

Diana, I am so sorry that life has really gave you a bum deal. I wish there was something I could do or say to help you. Is there anything you can think of that makes you happy? Do you have any close friends or family? I am sure that there are many people on this board that care for you. There have been times that I have felt totally hopeless, but I try to grasp on to that one thing that will keep me from drowning. Do you have anyone to talk to? Right now I have a person very close to me that is dealing with severe depression and I know I can at least listen if you need to talk. Please pm me if you need to talk now or in the future.

[may1792]

Yes, I always feel sad around Christmas time. I lost my brother 3 days before Christmas in 2002. I miss him everyday of the year, but around his birthday and Christmas it really gets to me. We weren't only brother and sister, we were best friends. Its hard to get thru Christmas anymore. I try to put aside my unhappiness for the kids so they will have a nice day. I know the true meaning of Christmas and try to think about that for a reason to celebrate. But its just so hard to do sometimes.

[karefree]

I am happy, yet sad too if that makes sense.

Me and hubby used to have a big family get together right before Christmas at our house and it saddens both of us to think about those we have lost that used to come to that get together.

But you know, to honor their memory, we must go on and be as happy as we can be. They would expect us to do that.

I have to agree. My parents are no longer here and while I miss them and other family and friends who aren't with us physically anymore I want to honor their memories and share those memories and even make more for the next generations.

This is a very said thread. To all those people who are suffering from real depression I am praying you find some peace of mind and heart.

Some of you have gone out of your way to express kindness and generously given of yourselves both financially and emotionally. Know in your heart that you have made a difference in the lives of those you have helped and even though they may not know who you are I am sure they are thanking God for your presence in the world. You have made a difference.

[IthinkNOT!]

Christmas has always been depressing for me, in my adult life, as a child I enjoyed it. This year is even worse than usual. I usually love buying christmas presents, this year I have no job, plus figure whats the use. The first thing that goes through my mind in wal-mart when looking at something is how flammable is it? Add to that the bf/exbf/a**hole in prison, and you have the perfect pity party, right?

[buglebe]

Well, I started this thread. I am so sorry there are so many of us that hate Christmas for so many reasons. Some of the reasons are so valid, though I am sure they are all valid to the one who has them, but now I feel mine are not actually valid reasons. I have a family who love me, I have children and grandchildren. Money wise we are comfortable. I do miss the husband I had before the dementia took over his brain and I do miss my parents. I think also health has a lot to do with my unhappiness with Christmas. You all brought up so many points though remembering the past with the fun Christmas trees and decorations and cookies etc. And I am sure every family had their own ritual, like the new pajamas on Christmas eve. Ours was that we couldn't open the living room door until everyone was dressed and Mom said ok. Do you suppose our parents were feeling like us when they were making those happy memories for us? I know my mom told me on many occassions how much she missed her mom. Maybe we are just repeating history. To all of you who are suffering to one degree or another you have my best wishes. I wish we could all do something to make this season easier.

[karefree]

buglebe, of course your feelings are valid. I am so sorry about your husbands illness. That is a very difficult situation. The person is physically still there but not the same person you knew. So sorry you both have to experience this. I join you in your wish that we could all do something to make the season easier for everyone.

[gmyers]

I don't hate Christmas at all. It just makes me homesick for past Christmas's. I have good Christmas's with my husband and I've made new traditions with him. I hope everybody finds joy and peace this Christmas. I am going to find new ways to make it special.

[mirage7000]

Feel so very sorry for all your losses! Christmas is not the same for me. So many family members have passed. I just keep thinking about the huge family get togethers we used to have. Grandma had parties with all the relatives with at least 30 to 50. Now I thank God my parents are still alive! Dads health is not good. Dd lives in Florida and don't get to see her and my grandchildren often enough. This year it will be my son and parents.

[kygirl71]

Well, I started this thread. I am so sorry there are so many of us that hate Christmas for so many reasons. Some of the reasons are so valid, though I am sure they are all valid to the one who has them, but now I feel mine are not actually valid reasons. I have a family who love me, I have children and grandchildren. Money wise we are comfortable. I do miss the husband I had before the dementia took over his brain and I do miss my parents. I think also health has a lot to do with my unhappiness with Christmas. You all brought up so many points though remembering the past with the fun Christmas trees and decorations and cookies etc. And I am sure every family had their own ritual, like the new pajamas on Christmas eve. Ours was that we couldn't open the living room door until everyone was dressed and Mom said ok. Do you suppose our parents were feeling like us when they were making those happy memories for us? I know my mom told me on many occassions how much she missed her mom. Maybe we are just repeating history. To all of you who are suffering to one degree or another you have my best wishes. I wish we could all do something to make this season easier.

You just made me cry. So many hugs to you.

[1tiredmom]

For the last five years I have not liked Christmas. I loved baking the cookies, buying presents, wrapping them,cooking, the tree everything about it-but since first my youngest sisiter moved to Slidell,then we moved to poplarville, ms. the kids are grown. the letters are no more written. I used to sit there Christmas eve and write in block style letter to both of them about the year that passed, if they were good, what they needed to brush up on, and how proud I was when I saw them do an unselfish act,etc...there is no one to do that for,

[Qtxann315]

It's not that I dislike Christmas but the last two years my husband and I dreaded this time of the year just because in 2005 his grandpa died around the holidays and in 2006 his other grandpa past away around the holidays. So this year we are having our finger cross and hope nothing bad is going to happen. So far so good. It's sad thinking about the holidays and all the people we used to celebrate it with.