what do you say when.......................

[whatever]

you have a good friend (however she moved away about 6 years ago) and so were not as close. Her son has been battling brain tumors for that whole time since they moved or shortly after. And now he is dying! :(
We usually email every so often. And usually when we don't talk as often NO news is good news as far as SAM (her son) goes. So when i had not heard from her i thought he is still in remission. He has been in and out of remission. Has had gamma knife etc. you name it that kid has had it. He is just now 16.
A couple weeks ago My mil who works at the high school heard sam was dying. I fealt heartsick!! so i emailed her and yep its true. She felt sorry for not letting me know. But obviously she has enough on her mind/plate!!
but what do you say?? They are hopeful he will be around till after the holidays. And how do you explain this to your other child. She had Brody just before they moved. She wanted 1 more child. I may need everyones help in sending cards to cheer him up if anyone wants to do so? I want to make sure its okay with her first though.

[earnhardt1]

omg thats so sad and i cant even imagine her pain......ill send a card if you want

[Jackie_Blu]

OMG how horrible. So so sad. I will be happy to send a card if and when you would like. I have no advice on what to say...sometimes just being there if your friend needs to talk is all you can do.:hug

[Willow]

I will send a card also. That's very sad. :(

[Shann]

I don't know what you say, be there as much or as little as she needs you. Does that make sense? Like give her space, but let her know you are there if she needs to talk. Let her know you're thinking of her and Sam and the family. That is really sad. :(

[PrincessArky]

Well I dont think there is much that you can say to make any of them feel better at this moment but they all need to know how loved they are and I would be happy to send them a card or something. I had a friend that battled brain tumors for years when we were teens he was well then he wasnt he was well then he wasn't several times he tried to kill himself and failed thankfully.......but eventually he couldnt take it anymore and he did end his life......it was so sad he was a beautiful person

[Memedav]

My daughter (now 8) was diagnosed with kidney cancer when she was 4 months old. After several surgeries, the loss of one kidney, part of her liver, chemo, remission, more chemo, radiation.....well it's an ongoing battle that I worry about every single day. Honestly there isn't a lot that you can say to her. I lost so many friends when my daughter was ill because no one really knew what to say and just kinda avoided me altogether.

I think the best thing you can try to do is just keep in touch with her and let her know that you are there when/if she wants or needs anything. Just knowing that she has someone to turn to would probably mean the world to her. At one point I slept sitting in a wooden hospital chair for 3 weeks and thought I would lose my mind. My family all lived over 600 miles or more away and none of my friends came around at all. My husband had to continue working so I pretty much had to wait for him to bring me coffee in the morning before work and something for dinner when he got off work. I never left the hospital during any of her stays. I'm sure your friend will appreciate the fact that you are there for her.

I also would be more than willing to send a card, if that should be needed. I'll keep him and his family in my prayers, please keep us posted on how he is doing.

[Army-Mom]

I would be glad to send and card and will prayer for the family as well..

[cathych]

I would volunteer to help her. She may feel awkward asking for help; a lot of ppl do. So, just take it upon yourself to help her....in a nice way of course. You could say, well, what day do you plan to do such & such because i want to help you. Another good idea........volunteer to "babysit" for a couple of hours. She would probably LOVE to just get away from everything. If there is someone available, volunteer to go out to lunch with her. I also think the idea of a card shower is a great idea too.

[whatever]

thanks everyone!! so far she has not replied. but i think she has alot on her mind. I will let everyone!! you are wonderful as usual!!!

[tngirl]

There is nothing that you can say. Just be her friend. My prayers are with the family.