omg omg omg guess what

[earnhardt1]

my best friend who is pregant is giving her baby up for adoption when he/she is born jsut asked us if we want to adopt the baby....... i am soo excited but soo scared because if i get my heart set on it and she changes her mind ill be heart broken,but she said she doesnt want the baby at all........
please pray that all goes well she is only 8 weeks along

[DBackFan]

WOW. With being friends it may be really hard. Make sure you use an attorney and good luck Michelle.

[earnhardt1]

yea i am afraid she will change her mind last minute.... my son over heard the phone conversation adn he is all excited i just keep tellin him that he cant be excited until the baby is here..... in case things go wrong. i am just afraid since she doesnt want the baby that she will be careless and not take care of herself.

[Kyla Kym]

I'd be afraid to get my hopes up. Because if she is willing to carry it for 9 months, and not do an abortion. Then she must have some feelings toward babies.
Things can really change once she starts feeling that baby inside her. All of a sudden your not feeling sexy anymore. So you can't worry about that, and you start concentrating on being pregnant and the baby instead of how hot you can look. :laugh: She will be around other pregnant women at the doctors office and places and they will be all excited and talking about having a new baby. It's infectious.

I know in some states even with a lawyer the surrogate mom has the right to change their mind up until the baby is born.

So if I was you, I would just tell her that you will adopt it, but don't get your hopes up until the end of her pregnancy. See if she is still not wanting it. Even the day she has it, she might change her mind...

Good Luck, I hope she really means it. :)
P.S. I would make dang sure she stayed healthy too during the pregnancy, because if she doesn't want it, she might not take care of herself the way she should.

[earnhardt1]

she barely takes care of the one she has now she is young 21 and doesnt want to be tied down...ughhh drives me crazy


See if she is still not wanting it. Even the day she has it, she might change her mind...

this is what i am afraid of

[PrincessArky]

oh sweetie I know how much you want another child so I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers that all goes well :)

[belleofpa]

Good luck and keep us up to date.
I had a friend whos very young daughter got pregnant. She was going to give hers up for adoption and the adoptive parents were at the hospital when she gave birth. She then changed her mind! I would have been heart broken had it been me.

[tigger4]

With your money problems and your husband's health, do you think they would let you adopt?

[PJDancer]

she barely takes care of the one she has now she is young 21 and doesnt want to be tied down...ughhh drives me crazy




And she's your best friend WHY?

Even if she doesn't change her mind, if you don't think it's not going to get messy at some point down the road, you're only fooling yourself (no offense). 100% bad idea all around.

[freebielover]

I hope it works out for you and the new baby! Good luck!

[earnhardt1]

With your money problems and your husband's health, do you think they would let you adopt?

my money isnt an issue...... i have enough to pay bills and what have you except this month we ran very low due to things going wrong....... we are doing a private adoption so its not through an agency..... my son has always been WELL taken care of......

[earnhardt1]

And she's your best friend WHY?

Even if she doesn't change her mind, if you don't think it's not going to get messy at some point down the road, you're only fooling yourself (no offense). 100% bad idea all around.

not sure why we are friends...she drives me crazy and i hate how she is so careless......lol. i know things will be hard for both of us after the baby but we are readyf or whatever challenges may come our way

[lymi]

I know someone this happened to at work. The biological mother felt like she had a say in how the baby was raised. At first, it was like they were both the mom. They shared pictures and everything. It was like the biological mom just had someone to take care of her baby and just got to enjoy the fun times. But it did get ugly. As the child got older , Bio mom didn't like the way the baby was being raised. The girl ended up quiting her job, so I don't know how this ended up.

[teenies*mom]

I hope everything goes okay - congrats!

[earnhardt1]

thanks to all of you who are giving me postive vibes

[tigger4]

my money isnt an issue...... i have enough to pay bills and what have you except this month we ran very low due to things going wrong....... we are doing a private adoption so its not through an agency..... my son has always been WELL taken care of......


Even with private adoptions they do extensive checking into your money situation and your health. They do not let people who do not have jobs adopt children and they do not usually allow people who have health issues adopt.

We went through all of this when my Godson's mom was addicted to meth. We were going to take him for her first as a temporary thing, then we checked into adoption. They went through everything we had. We had to show them our bills, our wages, our medical files, etc. And this was last year.

[earnhardt1]

Even with private adoptions they do extensive checking into your money situation and your health. They do not let people who do not have jobs adopt children and they do not usually allow people who have health issues adopt.

We went through all of this when my Godson's mom was addicted to meth. We were going to take him for her first as a temporary thing, then we checked into adoption. They went through everything we had. We had to show them our bills, our wages, our medical files, etc. And this was last year.



umm hello he has a job.... never said he didnt have a job. im not arguing with you.....

[Sassy65]

First off I want to say that I'm happy for you. I would like to give you a few suggestions. First make sure and ask why she wants to give up the baby and go to the couselor to check out all the lists of wants and want nots to be doubly sure. Be there for her to doctors appointments to give support and do not be afraid. Give all your problems and wants to Jesus and let him handle it.

Good Luck!
Sassy65

[earnhardt1]

First off I want to say that I'm happy for you. I would like to give you a few suggestions. First make sure and ask why she wants to give up the baby and go to the couselor to check out all the lists of wants and want nots to be doubly sure. Be there for her to doctors appointments to give support and do not be afraid. Give all your problems and wants to Jesus and let him handle it.

Good Luck!
Sassy65

ty so much i have talked to her about why she is giving the baby up and she said she just doesnt want to deal with another child.... i told her i will take her to dr appts and everything like that.... i am just afraid that she is going to drink or smoke weed while pregant.

[dv8grl]

Isn't it a fact that adoption agencies will not even think about giving a child to a family that smokes? :smokin:
Are you prepared to quit smoking to be able to take in this baby?

And isn't your own child not in the best of health?

[ahippiechic]

My friend just adopted her cousin's baby and both she and her DH smoke.

[Out2Lunch]

I just wanted to wish you and your family the best of luck. I hope that everything works out the way you want it to:)

[tigger4]

They told us we couldn't smoke in the house with the child, but we don't smoke so that isn't the problem.

I thought you said your husband didn't have a job, I must have misread it.

[hunny]

Congrats!!!!....Keeping my fingers crossed that all goes well.

[dv8grl]

My friend just adopted her cousin's baby and both she and her DH smoke.

I guess it depends on the state.

[PrincessArky]

They told us we couldn't smoke in the house with the child

2 bad they dont do that with birth parents

[Chelle66]

I will be praying for a great outcome :)

[tigger4]

2 bad they dont do that with birth parents


In our state your house is the only building you can smoke in. There is a state wide smoking ban. You cannot smoke in any public building or within 25 feet of the entrance of said building.

I know when we went for our foster care license we were told you cannot smoke in your home with foster children there. As for birth children I don't know the rule. I smoked for about a month when my middle daughter was young (I fell off the smoking wagon) but never smoked in my home or near my children.

[DBackFan]

In our state your house is the only building you can smoke in. There is a state wide smoking ban. You cannot smoke in any public building or within 25 feet of the entrance of said building.

I know when we went for our foster care license we were told you cannot smoke in your home with foster children there. As for birth children I don't know the rule. I smoked for about a month when my middle daughter was young (I fell off the smoking wagon) but never smoked in my home or near my children.


...and that is an AWESOME law! Of course if I was still a smoker I may not have thought so. Obviously you know we live in the same state *wink, gag* (sorry private joke everyone else) and about foster parent laws because I AM one (yes I know you know that) NO one should smoke IN the home with kids, step outside for the health of your children.
Most everyone I know that smoke do it outside now, its just nasty not to.

Keeping fingers and toes crossed Michelle!

[sandooch]

I pray that everything works out for all involved. Good luck to you!

[JustDoIt]

Good luck, and wishing you a great outcome, seriously.

BUT....do you think it's a good idea to adopt from such a close friend? You know what they say about lending money to a friend, I can't even imagine adopting a friend's baby. Unless ofcourse you plan on cutting her out of your life after everything is finalized. Which is really heartbreaking, because at 21, I was young and dumb too, and thankfully my friends helped me deal with a lot of stuff.

I guess I'm scared for you getting hurt, but I'm also scared for your friend, who at 21, probably thinks she's invincible. Think it out long and hard Michelle. And how it will affect all the lives around you. Where is the father of this child, BTW?

Regardless, good luck.

[belleofpa]

Why is everyone getting on her case? She is trying to do the right thing by taking in an unwanted child. Give the girl a break. No matter what happens, I'll be thinking of you.

[PrincessArky]

...and that is an AWESOME law!

want an opinion from a smoker??? ITA with the law just sad that ya have to tell ppl not to smoke around kids.......you would hope they would have more sense

[tigger4]

You would think so, but I am amazed at some of the stuff I have seen parents do. I worked as the school nurse for a while and it just about killed me seeing what some people do.

One kid broke his tooth and his mom superglued it back in his mouth. Then wondered why she got a call from CPS. Hello, stupid much? :slap

[earnhardt1]

OK so i don't smoke,hubby does.... and what does my child's health have to do with this? and Ty again to all who are being supportive.... i would rather see her give us the baby than take the first option which was abortion..... i can raise this baby and love this baby as if he/she is my own and since i cant have anymore kids i am so excited......

[earnhardt1]

They told us we couldn't smoke in the house with the child, but we don't smoke so that isn't the problem.

I thought you said your husband didn't have a job, I must have misread it.

i am really confused on what you deal is? if you cant come in my happy thread and be positive then go be negative somewhere else please
umm hello how many threads have to be done about hubby being off work for the winter?

[tigger4]

Reread what I said, I said I misread and thought your husband didn't have a job. I didn't realize he was just off for the winter.

And as for children's health and smoke. Everyone is talking about second hand smoke. Smoking around children is bad for their health.

[earnhardt1]

ok when did i say i smoked? i told you i dont and hubby wont smoke around the lil man due to his health issue.... so thanks for being concerned....

[PrincessArky]

I don't want ya to think I am not trying to be supportive cause I am pulling for ya girl and I am sure your hubby wont smoke around the kids.......we have 4 and we dont smoke in the house or the car or anything like that because of the kids




One kid broke his tooth and his mom superglued it back in his mouth. Then wondered why she got a call from CPS. Hello, stupid much? :slap

oh dear lord

[tigger4]

ok when did i say i smoked? i told you i dont and hubby wont smoke around the lil man due to his health issue.... so thanks for being concerned....

I never said you smoked. I don't care if you smoke. Be a chimney it isn't my concern.

We were talking about laws regarding smoking, adoption, and fostering.

[BeanieLuvR]

Good luck!! I hope that everything works out for you. :)

[earnhardt1]

the little man keeps pickin out baby names lol he is talking about baby this and baby that

[BeanieLuvR]

He will be a wonderful big brother. I think it is great that you want to adopt this baby and save it from being aborted or in a home where it isn't wanted.

[earnhardt1]

i am so AFRAID to get hurt.... i want to be excited but i dont want to at the same time.... i keep looking at baby nursery stuff and thinking of names... i told junior he can pick the name from a list of names i like. he is happy

[lymi]

I don't think anyone wants to make you upset. I think everyone is just concerned about you. Take that as a compliment. I , personally, hope it all goes great for you. You deserve it. It is great of you to do this. I told my husband the other day that I would love to adopt an older child. But was afraid of all the complications. Do we make enough, are we clean enough, are we good enough, etc. I salute you for going through all that. Does adaption fees cost a lot if you know the people? Just curious. Hope ya can take all the advice as good intents. And hope that in a few months, you will be a proud new mommy

[A0305]

Sending good thoughts and vibes your way!!!! I hope it all works out for you and your family.

[tracyb]

good luck with what ever happens in the end!

[dv8grl]

ok when did i say i smoked?
I must have mis-understood a previous thread of yours stating

i am flat broke like cant even buy a pack of smokes
http://www.bigbigforums.com/vent-whine/562608-horse-isnt-dead-yet-14.html?highlight=smokes

[earnhardt1]

ok as i said hubby smokes......

[Shancopp]

I really hope this works out for you!

I do have a ? tho.... Are you going to stay friends with her (I'd assume so) and if so, how will you explain to the child that "Aunt" whatever your friends name is...is really thier mom? Or will you? That'd be a sticky situation!

If this chick is so irresponsible, wonder why she didn't have herself on BC. What if she gets knocked up again next year?

From someone who is adopted, good luck!

[hunny]

I cant understand why smoking cigarettes would affect anyones ability to raise a child.
If thats a law, its a pretty stupid one. Both my parents smoked.

I do agree that you shouldnt smoke in the house with children

[dv8grl]

ok as i said hubby smokes...... again, I guess its just a mis-understanding., Where I come from when someone says "I" , it means they are talking about themselves, not their husbands.

[Memedav]

Well, I for one commend you for wanting to take in a child that isn't wanted by it's birthmom. When I was in 9th grade, my best friend became pregnant with her 2nd child....which she was going to leave at the hospital for the state to worry about. My parents stepped in and brought her home when she was 3 days old, at the time my father was on strike from the coal mines and my mother was sitting with an elderly lady 6 days a week, just to make ends meet ( I have 6 other siblings also). Every child deserves a loving home and someone to love him/her.

How many people can actually say they were totally prepared for a child? My 8 year old was diagnosed with Kidney Cancer when she was just 4 months old. That has taught me that no matter how much planning you think you have done, you can be knocked on your backside in a heartbeat. I'm pregnant now with my 3rd and while I'm in a better financial situation, nothing is set in stone. The way I look at it is that I take it as it comes along, God only gives me what he knows I'm strong enough to handle.

Also, in my parents case the bio mother had 6 months after the birth to change her mind....thankfully she didn't change it. However she has caused my dear mother many headaches and stepped in as a "concerned mother" when she felt it would benefit her. I know from experience with adoption that bumps in the road come with the territory, but my parents wouldn't change a thing.

I hope it works out for you!

[sunniekiss]

I do wish you the best but I honestly hope it works out for you in the end. Just pray she doesn't change her mind since in Pennsylvania she has 6 months to make up her mind.

[YankeeMary]

I know for a fact you will have to have at least $5,000.00 up front to start the proceedings. Your attorney will have to contact at least 4 people on the childs mother side of the family and 4 people on the fathers side of the family. You will have to have had a RECENT physical (both you and hubby) and this has to be documents (letter) from your physician. You have to have a house big enough meaning the child can NOT share a room with another sibiling. You have to have a home inspection. All pets must be current on their shots and some dogs are a no no. There will be a background check on all adults living in the house. Place of employments will be called, you must submit all financial records including bank statements. You must be able to have the child insured once its in your care and have to show proof from your insurance carrier that they will allow the child to be added. If the child is in your custody before the adoption is final, you have to fill out a report every 2 months and file it in the courts on the childs well being etc. You have to take the child to the doctors for check ups whether the child is sick or not (well child checks) and have copies of this to prove to the court that you have done it. Then you have to wait and pray that the 8 people you sent notice to like you enough that they think the baby will be safe, happy and loved in your home. If they say no, well then it will cost at least another $5,000.00 to fight your case in front of the judge. All the time praying that your health or financial situation doesn't stand in the way. Also children services WILL be involved so be prepared to deal with them. God forbid you have ever been reported to them because that will come up as well. It isn't a walk in the park to adopt a baby from someone you know, even if they agree 100%. Just my 2 cents.

[tigger4]

Good point YankeeMary. I know in our state and in a lot of others pitbulls are a major no no for foster kids and adoptive kids.

[YankeeMary]

Good point YankeeMary. I know in our state and in a lot of others pitbulls are a major no no for foster kids and adoptive kids.

Yes pitbulls are a no no here also. They actually come to your house and check out your dogs...no kidding. They also make numerous surprise visits. They are a pain, but I am glad they are like that, kinda gives a kid a good start. Alot goes into adoption and its getting harder, thats why alot of people go over seas to adopt. We have friends that are trying to adopt and now are going to the Ukraine (sp) to adopt as they were turned down here because...get this...he is too old. He is only 45 years old, makes over $100,000.00 a year, she makes $95,000.00 a year, own their own home, they have 4 bedrooms, no kids so far. They have one room decorated and filled already for a child and the social worker said...get this...they have too many toys and clothing for the kid...haha. So now they have to get rid of some things. Adoption isn't easy at all.

[wyrmslyph]

Good luck to you, I hope it works out for you. :) Keeping hoping for the best, don't let anything get you down and keep it in prayer.

Hugs!

[galeane29]

The rules must be different for each state. My parents adopted myself and 3 of my brothers in New Mexico. They had all kinds of animals....dogs, chickens, cows, horses, goats..etc. They were also in their 50's and 60's at the time....several years later they adopted the last 2 boys. They were foster parents for years and after their biological kids left home and started their own families they went through that empty nest syndrome and decided to become foster parents and when they had the opportunity to foster me and my brother , they decided they didnt want to have us split up so they kept us. We were always told that we were chosen and were made to feel special. I can no longer have anymore children of my own and have been playing with the idea of adopting another one. I have known of some people being told they cannot foster or adopt for some stupid ass reasons....they are too fat, dont make enough money, too old, they smoke, single, gay...wth??? What about those that have their own biological children that smoke, are overweight, dont make millions, and are older? Who makes these rules/laws? There are people that arent so well off that would be WONDERFUL parents but dont make a whole lot of money be be able to afford to adopt so they go childless.So what if they are a gay couple....they want those kids that would otherwise be stuck in fostercare for the rest of their childhood. It does cost alot of money, they also pop in unannounced when ever they please. In new mexico and texas they also require you to take parenting classes and go to seminars. There is alot that goes into adopting a child. If it was as easy as ...hey , want this kid? its yours...I would have dozens of them already.

[ahippiechic]

Adoption must be easier here in AZ also, because I've known several people who have adopted that smoke, have Rotties and so on.

[tigger4]

Every state is different on their laws. You just have to research the laws and see what they are.

I know we were going to have a problem with our mix breed dog being foster parents because he weighs over 40 pounds. He doesn't bite, heck he doesn't even bark. But, because of his weight he was a problem. He is part shepard and part who knows what. He is almost 2 now (he was one at the time). They weren't too happy about our ferrett either.

[ladybugva]

I can imagine you are excite. Just proced w/ caution and try to help her stay helthy while guarding your heart. I know it's it not the same thing but I went through a lot of heart break looking for a house recently and once I guarded myself it made it easier. 6ish more months of her pregnancy is a long time and a lot may change for her during this time. The best you can do is offer support and be there for here. Thing may go beautifly but be prepared for a sticky mess just in case. Take this time also to do a lot of reserach on adoption in your state. That way you know now if there are some things that might be an issues that you can fix before hand so it won't be there later.
Good luck

[loris520]

Every state is different on their laws. You just have to research the laws and see what they are.

I know we were going to have a problem with our mix breed dog being foster parents because he weighs over 40 pounds. He doesn't bite, heck he doesn't even bark. But, because of his weight he was a problem. He is part shepard and part who knows what. He is almost 2 now (he was one at the time). They weren't too happy about our ferrett either.



That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. There are so many children out there that need loving homes and CPS has all these regulations. I have a Rottweiler and 2 kids and I just dont see the point of not letting someone adopt because they have a dog that does not fit theire standards.... I watch the news I see plenty of people out there that dont deserve children. Here in Georgia DFACS(dept of family and children services) is the most backwards thing I have ever seen but thats a whole different story.


Good luck Michelle! I hope and pray that things go right for you. If you still suspect your BF of using drugs call your local CPS and get help for her. She might not understand at first but she will later on in life. I just worrry about that poor helpless unborn baby. I think its a great thing for you to do. :)

[earnhardt1]

well i just found out she has being having unsafe sex all week and not with one person. she has been out drinking and possibly more... i am not sure if this is what i want to do.... i want a healthy baby (please dont take that the wrong way).... i have enough sick ppl to take care of now lol. any helpful suggestions here are welcome please refrain from bashing at this point....her son she has now is 2 and cant talk yet and i have a feelin it was a drug thing....... pa sucks when it comes to that she had cps called on her 2 months ago and they cleared her because that days he knew she would pass a drug test..... i know she does coke. but not sure when the last time was

[PrincessArky]

well i just found out she has being having unsafe sex all week and not with one person. she has been out drinking and possibly more... i am not sure if this is what i want to do.... i want a healthy baby (please dont take that the wrong way).... i have enough sick ppl to take care of now lol. any helpful suggestions here are welcome please refrain from bashing at this point....her son she has now is 2 and cant talk yet and i have a feelin it was a drug thing....... pa sucks when it comes to that she had cps called on her 2 months ago and they cleared her because that days he knew she would pass a drug test..... i know she does coke. but not sure when the last time was

oh what a terrible way for her to do her children.....including the unborn one :( is there anyway she would let you adopt her 2 yr old??? isnt that the one you watch alot for her?

[tigger4]

That is awful that she is taking so many risks while being pregnant and with having a small child to take care of.

Does she have custody of her other child? If so, has anyone contacted CPS to let them know of her risky behavior? They can make her go to rehab. They have rehabs for pregnant women. We went through all of this with my Godson's mom it was such a mess.

[earnhardt1]

oh what a terrible way for her to do her children.....including the unborn one :( is there anyway she would let you adopt her 2 yr old??? isnt that the one you watch alot for her?

he is the "nephew" that has been staying with me....... but she LOVES him.... ughhh i want to punch her and tell her she is a worthless piece of shit sometimes...... lmao... i think i stay around because of the 2 yr old..... i love that boy

[YankeeMary]

well i just found out she has being having unsafe sex all week and not with one person. she has been out drinking and possibly more... i am not sure if this is what i want to do.... i want a healthy baby (please dont take that the wrong way).... i have enough sick ppl to take care of now lol. any helpful suggestions here are welcome please refrain from bashing at this point....her son she has now is 2 and cant talk yet and i have a feelin it was a drug thing....... pa sucks when it comes to that she had cps called on her 2 months ago and they cleared her because that days he knew she would pass a drug test..... i know she does coke. but not sure when the last time was

This isn't meant as bashing but I gotta say it. If you care at all for this girl and her unborn child you would report her yourself. This is wreckless behavior for a pregant woman (any woman for that matter) but at this point its the unborn child that should come first. If CPS won't do anything about it, then I would suggest calling the police and tell them she is using drugs and hopefully they can show up at her place and find enough "drugs" to arrest her. At least in jail (in theory) she can't get drugs and they will seek medical care for her. This woman needs to be stopped. I would say she is a true idiot.

[earnhardt1]

That is awful that she is taking so many risks while being pregnant and with having a small child to take care of.

Does she have custody of her other child? If so, has anyone contacted CPS to let them know of her risky behavior? They can make her go to rehab. They have rehabs for pregnant women. We went through all of this with my Godson's mom it was such a mess.

if you re read my post it says cps was called and they signed off that everything was fine becasue she passed the drug test.... yea she has custody of the 2yr old but he stays with me 95% of the time.... everytime she gets a new boyfriend she has the baby call him daddy ( the only word besides mommy that he knows thanks to aunt chelle)

[earnhardt1]

Mary thats a great idea BUT she doesnt keep drugs at home.... does them while out with friends... i am gonna try talking to her later and tell her that she can live with me if she needs help.....

[tigger4]

I didn't see that part.

How is she passing the drug tests? Most drugs stay in your system for a while.

Do they know that you are keeping him most of the time? I know that when my Godson's mom brought him to us last year before Christmas and said she would be back in a couple of hours and then came back a week later they busted her for neglect and abandonment.

Is she on assistance? If so,report her for fraud. If you are keeping her 2 year old that much then technically she isn't his sole provider. Also, if she is on assistance will she want to really give up a new baby that will mean more money?

[YankeeMary]

Mary thats a great idea BUT she doesnt keep drugs at home.... does them while out with friends... i am gonna try talking to her later and tell her that she can live with me if she needs help.....

You can still call CPS. She wouldn't pass a drug test now correct? Her behavior is just unacceptable for a mother and a pregant woman. I think you need to sit your friendship aside and get on the phone and call call call any and every agency out there until someone is willing to step in and help. This is really serious. A baby born with AIDS is just heartbreaking and sad as well as babies being born addicted to drugs, it is just horrible. And the thing is, is that it CAN be prevented.

[ahippiechic]

Coke or meth only show up for about 48 hours. You'd be hard pressed to get CPS out before it's out of her system.

[tigger4]

I really do understand where you are coming from.

I have my Godson and his mother coming to live with us next month.

His dad is in prison (he is a convicted child molester and has never seen my Godson or my children). The mother is 29 and is a waste.

She lost custody of him last year because she was using meth and turning tricks in a hotel room with my Godson in the room with her.

She dropped him off with us right before Christmas and took off. Then came back. We tried to get her to sign temporary custody over to us so CPS wouldn't have to get involved so she could get herself together. But, of course she didn't have a problem. So, CPS took him away she went to rehab (though she swears she didn't need to).

It is a mess. My Godson will be 4 next month. He doesn't have clothes that fit right. My husband and I buy him stuff when we can. He won't have Christmas unless we buy it. His mom works, but spends her money on having her nails done, going to the prison to visit her husband, and other bullshit.

Just makes me sick. But, I love my Godson so I do what I have to do so I can be part of his life.

[earnhardt1]

hippie that is my point she isnt doing enough coke for it to stay ......
cps knows i keep the baby most of the time due to her work schedule... ughh i am gonna call some place today and see what i can do and i dont want her to know it was me callin becasue i dont need any trouble from her or her punk ass friends

[YankeeMary]

hippie that is my point she isnt doing enough coke for it to stay ......
cps knows i keep the baby most of the time due to her work schedule... ughh i am gonna call some place today and see what i can do and i dont want her to know it was me callin becasue i dont need any trouble from her or her punk ass friends

Thats the best thing you can do is call call call. Truly it is the right thing to do for her 2 year older and the unborn baby, even for herself.

[earnhardt1]

i am just so depressed over this ... here i am a good mom would give anything to be able to get pregant again and cant,then she takes it all for granted and doesnt care who she hurts...... god i jsut hope i can make a difference for her and the new baby... i already know i have done great things for the 2 yr old......

[PrincessArky]

he is the "nephew" that has been staying with me....... but she LOVES him.... ughhh i want to punch her and tell her she is a worthless piece of shit sometimes...... lmao... i think i stay around because of the 2 yr old..... i love that boy

yep it is hard to get rid of a "friend" if you are in love with their kids.....and you might just be the one bright start in his life

[tigger4]

You can do a little coke or a lot of coke, it all stays in your system the same amount of time. That makes no sense. That is like saying you're a little bit pregnant.

[ahippiechic]

You can do a little coke or a lot of coke, it all stays in your system the same amount of time. That makes no sense. That is like saying you're a little bit pregnant.

But even if you do alot of coke, in about 48 you can test negative for it. It just doesn't stay in your system very long.

[tigger4]

Depending on how they test you.

In our state they do hair testing and it stays in your hair a lot longer than your urine.

My dingy SIL was always trying to figure out ways to pass her tests back before they finally took all of her kids away for good.

[DBackFan]

Depending on how they test you.

In our state they do hair testing and it stays in your hair a lot longer than your urine.

My dingy SIL was always trying to figure out ways to pass her tests back before they finally took all of her kids away for good.

some of the stuff you post I can't believe we live in the same state :hmmmm2:

RARELY does our state use a hair follicle test, they are expensive. We have Moms of kids in our system who pass these tests all the time (and they are not clean) and its ALWAYS a piss test.

Sorry to argue in your thread Michelle.

[ahippiechic]

some of the stuff you post I can't believe we live in the same state :hmmmm2:

RARELY does our state use a hair follicle test, they are expensive. We have Moms of kids in our system who pass these tests all the time (and they are not clean) and its ALWAYS a piss test.

Sorry to argue in your thread Michelle.

Same here. Some of my DH friends from work do both coke and meth and always pass. They only had to do the hair strand test at hiring. the random ones are a piss test. One of my friend does coke/meth only on thrusdays, Fridays, & Saturdays, because she has mandatory drug tests each week for her probabtion. Her meeting is on Wed, so she's clean by then.

For chronic users tho, it CAN stay in the system up to 4 days.

[YankeeMary]

Same here. Some of my DH friends from work do both coke and meth and always pass. They only had to do the hair strand test at hiring. the random ones are a piss test. One of my friend does coke/meth only on thrusdays, Fridays, & Saturdays, because she has mandatory drug tests each week for her probabtion. Her meeting is on Wed, so she's clean by then.

For chronic users tho, it CAn stay in the system up to 4 days.

Isn't that something? She only does drugs on certain days. Seems to me if you can go 3 days it would be worth going for 4 or 5 then eventually quitting. But heck what do I know?

[Memedav]

My family has been through some of this as well and it is extremely hard for you to get CPS to drop everything and run and do a drug tests. My sister's boyfriend gets a 5 day notice in the mail for all his drug testing (he's not allowed around the baby except for 2 hours a week, due to his drug use) Of course he has passed every single one of them. I say random and frequent drug testing for everybody. Still I would call CPS and express my concerns and push the issue as far as possible.

One other option for you also is to contact her employer, maybe they will do a drug test. As someone else mentioned, a drug test from her hair would show use from quite awhile back. I always think that is why Britney Spears shaved her head....to prevent that test from being done.

The laws on adoption do vary greatly from state to state. Right now my parents are providing a home for one of their grandchildren and it has been like pulling teeth to meet all the demands that the state requires. They haven't asked or accepted any state money or health insurance for this baby, yet have to jump through hoops to try to keep her in their home and out of a foster home. It's a tough situation. Meanwhile when they went through the private adoption of my sister, it was pretty much $1500, a home inspection and a 6 month waiting period for everything to be finalized.

[ahippiechic]

Isn't that something? She only does drugs on certain days. Seems to me if you can go 3 days it would be worth going for 4 or 5 then eventually quitting. But heck what do I know?

Yeah, no kidding. But she doesn't buy drugs, she does them at parties and stuff. So I guess maybe she isn't as tempted to do them at home, because she doesn't have any there. I dunno. She doesn't come to my house on Thursdays, Fridays or Saturdays either, lol!

[earnhardt1]

yea the only drug testing doneis is piss testing there is no hair testing done for the cost is too much

[YankeeMary]

The laws on adoption do vary greatly from state to state. Right now my parents are providing a home for one of their grandchildren and it has been like pulling teeth to meet all the demands that the state requires. They haven't asked or accepted any state money or health insurance for this baby, yet have to jump through hoops to try to keep her in their home and out of a foster home. It's a tough situation. Meanwhile when they went through the private adoption of my sister, it was pretty much $1500, a home inspection and a 6 month waiting period for everything to be finalized.

I still think it is harder to adopt from family or someone you know even if they agree with everything. LOL. Its not really funny but crying is so depressing. We have jumped through more hoops then I even care to mention. I doesn't seem right but I like to think if this is the standard then at least it will keep children safe. We also have taken no state monies or insurance, not even WIC thinking they would hold that against us. Its real spooky when the state agency car pulls in your driveway and you think oh no they are gonna take the baby away. And they are only here to have us sign a paper or something else stupid. Its just gut wrenching.

[Memedav]

I Its real spooky when the state agency car pulls in your driveway and you think oh no they are gonna take the baby away. And they are only here to have us sign a paper or something else stupid. Its just gut wrenching.


Exactly! My Mom called me last night and was telling me that the guy from the state was knocking on her door around 6 pm......only to give her some forms for a physical. I can understand exactly what your saying, it's the fear of the unknown. My parents have a 10 bedroom house and in between my bouts of morning sickness we cleaned that place like never before. They did tell my parents that their age was against them, but for now they have emergency custody. I'm not really familiar with your situation, but certainly wish you the best!

[VenusA423]

I hope that everything works out well for you and the child.

[SLance68]

On a urine test Coke will show up for about 72 hours. Pot will stay for about 30 days. Most people that smoke pot use a masking agent if they need to pass the test - but the testing company can run another test on it at the same time to tell you what masking agent they were using and then they will fail the test.

[tigger4]

some of the stuff you post I can't believe we live in the same state :hmmmm2:

RARELY does our state use a hair follicle test, they are expensive. We have Moms of kids in our system who pass these tests all the time (and they are not clean) and its ALWAYS a piss test.

Sorry to argue in your thread Michelle.

I think they just got sick of my SIL trying to screw with the system. After all this is the woman who bartered with the state to try to keep custody of some of her kids. She signed custody of my neice away to keep custody of two of the others and had it put into writing that the oldest would be kept in foster care until 18. And the state went along with this. Of course now they have taken all of the kids away since she can't keep off heroin. She is such a waste of human life it isn't even funny.

And you know of course that you live on the east and I live on the west we may as well be in different states.

[Kelsey1224]

I think that this is a situation that is fraught with potential grief for you and your family....but it could also be one with tremendous joy!!! So, I'm pulling for you to get the "joy" end of the deal!! Good luck!

[earnhardt1]

Another update well she slept at another guys house last night and she just told me on the phone that 2 weeks ago she was lookin for some coke.... so i have decided i am callin cps on monday and we are going to talk to my ob-gyn and see if there is anything we can do to help me get prego! the last time i talked to him he said my endo was severe enough that he didnt think i could have anymore and that was even after the last two scar tissue removeals.....

[LuvBigRip]

The beginning of the whole mess

[dangerousfem]

oh.. I missed this.. so in Dec she was going to try to get pregnant and then delivered in May?

[MistyWolf]

oh.. I missed this.. so in Dec she was going to try to get pregnant and then delivered in May?

No she wasn't going to try to get pregnant .. her friend was pregnant and she was going to keep the baby and than got flamed for it so all of a sudden she "discovered" she was pregnant (she had female problems so she didn't know) and her due date was May .. which really was the due date of her friend.

[freeby4me]

Kevin and I conceived in December and I'm not due until the end of September or the beginning of October. My due date is September 29th so I don't see how she could have given birth already if she wasn't even pregnant in December. There is no way that could have happened.

It was after this that she found out she was "5 months pregnant" and just didnt know it.

[buttrfli]

we are going to talk to my ob-gyn and see if there is anything we can do to help me get prego! ..

sounds like shes tryin to get pregnant to me.

[MistyWolf]

It was after this that she found out she was "5 months pregnant" and just didnt know it.

Exactly!

[LuvBigRip]

sounds like shes tryin to get pregnant to me.

Yep.

[karefree]

Isn't her husband sick?

[DAVESBABYDOLL]

Isn't her husband sick?


At Christmas, he had cancer..then she never mentioned it again. She brought it up in defense to something else.

[karefree]

I thought I remembered that she posted he was dying and might not be here another year. I thought she was very brave to want to concieve a child that she knew she would have to raise alone. Very sad.

[MistyWolf]

Isn't her husband sick?

So she says .. sounds like another plea for sympathy. He was in pics with the baby and looked fine to me.

[Anig2u]

She would make things up to get people to feel sorry for her so then when she got caught in yet another lie some would defend her..she was pretty good at what she did but not good enough..she always got caught...hahahahaha

What is amazing to me is that I knew she was a liar the first time I read one of her posts..I never knew she was on the bad traders list and in fact i really didn't know a thing about her..just something told me. Well anyways for her... Karma... what comes around goes around.

[chib44]

I raised 3 kids from a wheel chair there all grown now 38 37 35 I also helped raise grandkids I even gave 2 of the grandkids there first baths when they got home daughter was a little sacred I had no proublem raising my kids huby worked so it was me and the kids all day I dont think that should be a proublem lots of luck hun sending paryers you way

[cabby92]

I raised 3 kids from a wheel chair there all grown now 38 37 35 I also helped raise grandkids I even gave 2 of the grandkids there first baths when they got home daughter was a little sacred I had no proublem raising my kids huby worked so it was me and the kids all day I dont think that should be a proublem lots of luck hun sending paryers you way

uhm, you did a great job but to whom is this post addressed?

[flute]

uhm, you did a great job but to whom is this post addressed?

I thought it looked addressed to the banned one....

[ladybugva]

I was wondering about that too. I think maybe she just read the first post and then replied without knowing what's going on. LOL

I think so also, didn't read all the updated info on this thread

[ahippiechic]

Closed at the OP's request.