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View Full Version : I swear my children are killing me



tigger4
11-17-2007, 10:03 PM
My middle daughter has a friend spending the night tonight. Her mom dropped her off and informed me that my daughters have been on MySpace and sending sexually explicit material to her daughter.

I think my head is going to explode. My daughters know they are not allowed on MySpace. They are only 13 and 11.

I don't know how I am going to handle this.

They tried to pull this shit of you never let us do anything. Our friends are allowed on there. Their friends are allowed on there. But, then again their friends are allowed to dress like prostitutes, they sneak out of their houses and make out with boys, and a lot of other crap that there is no Fucking way my kids will be doing.

Anyone else ever have this problem? How did you handle it?

pepperpot
11-17-2007, 10:08 PM
Got a tree out back? Order mass quantities of duct tape. ;)

I so feel for you.....I'm just getting to where you are now.....:argh:

cpbaby
11-17-2007, 10:08 PM
I dont know, but if someone was sending my child sexually inappropriate material it would bea cold day in HELL before I dropped that child off at the senders house......Is she crazy? How do you KNOW FOR A FACT that your children are doing it? Im all for not giving kids and inch online but her dropping her dauhter off at your house, dropping that bomb and then leaving is weird to me.

okie
11-17-2007, 10:21 PM
I dont know, but if someone was sending my child sexually inappropriate material it would bea cold day in HELL before I dropped that child off at the senders house......Is she crazy? How do you KNOW FOR A FACT that your children are doing it? Im all for not giving kids and inch online but her dropping her dauhter off at your house, dropping that bomb and then leaving is weird to me.

I was thinking the same thing. Have you talked to them just to see what they say?

Shann
11-17-2007, 10:22 PM
I dont know, but if someone was sending my child sexually inappropriate material it would bea cold day in HELL before I dropped that child off at the senders house......Is she crazy? How do you KNOW FOR A FACT that your children are doing it? Im all for not giving kids and inch online but her dropping her dauhter off at your house, dropping that bomb and then leaving is weird to me.

I have to agree with this, that is weird.

I think if those were my children, they'd lose all computer access unless I was sitting right there with them while they're looking up info on reports or whatnot. I'd also want to see exactly what my children were sending to their friend and I'd also be looking to see if she was sending sexually explicit things to my dd's in return. GL

dv8grl
11-17-2007, 10:23 PM
Have you checked your cookies to see if anyone has been loggin on to myspace? Do a myspace search for their names, email, possible user names, etc....

pepperpot
11-17-2007, 10:30 PM
I dont know, but if someone was sending my child sexually inappropriate material it would bea cold day in HELL before I dropped that child off at the senders house......Is she crazy?

If this were another parent that I thought was responsible but just wasn't aware of what their girls have done, I might do the same. Knowing of course that this is a 'good family', having known them for awhile and realize that children do sneak behind parent's backs and do not realize the severity of their actions sometimes. However, after giving the parents a 'heads up' and it happens again, then no way..If I weren't very friendly with this family, then no, I wouldn't leave my DD there.

But things do happen, kids do stupid stuff and I've always felt it's what gets done after a 'situation' that is the real 'tell tale'.....

pepperpot
11-17-2007, 10:31 PM
I think if those were my children, they'd lose all computer access unless I was sitting right there with them while they're looking up info on reports or whatnot. I'd also want to see exactly what my children were sending to their friend and I'd also be looking to see if she was sending sexually explicit things to my dd's in return. GL

also this....

evrita
11-17-2007, 11:48 PM
Sometimes if they log into a my space thier passwords can get hacked and this spam crap can get sent out as porn stuff. Sit down and ask you DD if they have been doing it. My DD has a page it is PW protected and if anyone joins she has to ask me first and if i want to see her page she knows I can log in at anytime.

The rule in our house is I know what ALL of her PW are and thats it. Too many kids are getting bullied online and in my house it wont be tolerated. Before you tape her to a wall someplace ask her to see her page and if she doesnt let you see it then threaten to take away all computer prvilages for a month.

kelblend
11-18-2007, 12:08 AM
There are also keyloggers available if necessary. I know all of my kid's pw's as well. My comp is in the living room which helps too.

There are quite a few cases of myspace pages being hacked.

tigger4
11-18-2007, 03:23 PM
Come to find out it wasn't my daughter's sending sexually explicit material, it was a friend of theirs. Needless to say I am pissed.

The mom who dropped her daughter off at my house wasn't really sure who sent it, so I did some snooping last night.

My oldest daughter (she's 13) has a friend (that she only sees at school) that has been sending out e-mails with surveys that ask things like have you ever given a blow job or would you give a blow job. That is the sexually explicit material that the other mom was talking about.

My computer is locked down. They can't get onto it at all now. They are not allowed to use the computer for any reason at home. I have made arrangements that if they need to use a computer for homework they can stay after school and use the homework club where all computers have safe surf on them. They hate homework club, so I think this is fitting.

bpl76
11-18-2007, 03:43 PM
It sounds like you handled it very well. :-) I am proud of you. It is really hard these days to keep up with kids these days.

Urban Cowgirl
11-18-2007, 04:21 PM
I dont know, but if someone was sending my child sexually inappropriate material it would bea cold day in HELL before I dropped that child off at the senders house......Is she crazy? How do you KNOW FOR A FACT that your children are doing it? Im all for not giving kids and inch online but her dropping her dauhter off at your house, dropping that bomb and then leaving is weird to me.


My thoughts exactly!

msginna
11-18-2007, 04:57 PM
I am ALWAYS watching what my children do on line. ALWAYS, I learned big time to do that. And she would never go to a site like this because I concider it an adult site. only like disney, and the like and when searcing for papers, no chats, messages, or anything like that.

tigger4
11-19-2007, 07:39 AM
As for the mom dropping her daughter off here, she knew it wasn't one of the adults in this house doing this.

The more I find out, the more I have learned that this kid (who is 11) had all kinds of weird stuff on her MySpace. She was chatting with people shouldn't have been. She's way more advanced than my daughters are. She checks out the college boys (I live on a college campus) all the time. My girls don't even really like the boys their own age yet.

Needless to say, my kids are grounded. And this girl isn't allowed to come over here anymore.

Urban Cowgirl
11-19-2007, 10:03 AM
As for the mom dropping her daughter off here, she knew it wasn't one of the adults in this house doing this.

The more I find out, the more I have learned that this kid (who is 11) had all kinds of weird stuff on her MySpace. She was chatting with people shouldn't have been. She's way more advanced than my daughters are. She checks out the college boys (I live on a college campus) all the time. My girls don't even really like the boys their own age yet.

Needless to say, my kids are grounded. And this girl isn't allowed to come over here anymore.


I understand what your saying. But if I even thought for a second it was one of your kids. My child would not be allowed to hang out with her until I knew for sure. KWIM?

tigger4
11-19-2007, 10:34 AM
When she told me about it, I told her that I didn't think that the explicit stuff had come from my daughters. But, you're right she didn't know for sure.

I talked to her this morning and assured her my daughter's would not be sending any e-mails, etc. as they are grounded.

Then, I asked her about shows her daughter is allowed to watch. I caught her daughter watching Reno 911 and Southpark yesterday. My kids aren't allowed to watch these shows. Apparently neither is she. Her mom was livid. Not at me at her daughter for trying to go behind her mom's back and watch things she isn't allowed to.

lymi
11-19-2007, 10:41 AM
My kids are grown, but I went through something similar with my son. Children have a natural curiousity and nowadays it is so very easy for them to find what they want. Unfortunatly, when ya get more than one teenager together, odds are good that they will explore even more. Peer pressure is true. My kids were just barely in the computor age. I feel so for you parents of young ones now. It doesn't make a kid bad because they are exploring all this. They are just curious. The easier it gets, the more they seem to get into trouble. It is so easy now. Just a bad choice on the computor, and bam they are in trouble. In the old days without the computor, they had to think about it some, and things were harder. But now, just hit the button and regrets later. I feel for you. Like I say, I feel any kid might try this. And no, it's not the parents fault either. Todays world is so rush rush and busy. No matter how much you love your kids, you cant watch them 24/7. Just teach them right, punish bad choices, and pray, pray pray. They are not robots, they have indivual minds of their own. When they mess up, do what you need to, but stand by their side when possible. Life is hard for us adults. It's very hard for them kids today. I would hate to be a teenager today with so many choices and fears. Ok, think thats enough. Hope I helped some

tigger4
11-19-2007, 10:58 AM
I realize they are not robots. And I can remember wanting to do all the same stuff my friends were doing at this age.

But, as an adult and a parent it is my responsibility to protect them from others and themselves.

Their friends run the streets, go to boys houses and stay for hours with no supervision, sneak out of the house, shoplift, etc. These friends are ones they hang out with at school. They are mad because I won't let them run around with these people.

They will grow up and realize it was all for their own good, it will just take a while to get there.

lymi
11-19-2007, 06:56 PM
Just hang in there.

tigger4
11-19-2007, 06:58 PM
I'll try to. Thank you for your advice and concern.