Can anyone answer my question?

[Adra]

I do not want to start anything, I really want to know

I just read Dog's "racial slur" I agree the word he used is nasty and should not be used at all.

But why do blacks call each other the n word? I don't call my friends whitey when I am talking to them.

Sometimes I call them darling, or honey, (I am a southern lady, bless your heart) and my church friends I call sister, once in a while I actually call them by their name, lol.

How does calling someone n****** come up in conversation?

[MsLynn]

well only answer i have is like when me and the girls at school walk up and call each other, "Ho", "hooker", "Bitch" WE think its funny, but have someone call us that AND MEAN IT.. LOOK OUT THE FIGHT IS ON!!!.


course now we are a STRANGE bunch around this part of the world

[Pepsi4me]

I just think it's very wrong no matter who says it.

[ahippiechic]

well only answer i have is like when me and the girls at school walk up and call each other, "Ho", "hooker", "Bitch" WE think its funny, but have someone call us that AND MEAN IT.. LOOK OUT THE FIGHT IS ON!!!.

Same here. And I'm white but I call some of my friends (black, white and hispanic) 'nigga'. And they call me that too. It means homie, friend, etc. It's different than 'nigg-er'.

[Adra]

I have never called my friends anything except honey, darling, We introduce as "sister by choice".

Another generation, I guess. I would not be pleased if I was greeted by "Hey Ho" "This is my friend, Bitch" would not put a smile on my face.

Is it just the younger generation that talks this way? Including the N word.

Do the older people have more gentle ways? Or is it just me that is not up on what is the normal way of talking?

I know that I have church friends and I go to church functions and that means that I don't have interaction with non church people. Except here, and sometimes I just back out of posts because I am not comfortable with some of the words, or subject matter.

So again

Is it just me that does not understand this way of talking, or is most older people like me? Is it becasue I live a secularized life or is it because I am older?

[MsLynn]

its all a matter of perception... see the way you said "non-church people" COULD be taken to mean that you think we're "below" you.. I'M NOT SAYING THATS WHAT YOU MEAN... but some could easily take it that way.. some people are just more sensitive about those things.. shoot i dont' care what you call me. I KNOW what / who i am and thats all that matters..


and exactly what do you consider "OLDER"??? i'm not a spring chicken myself.

I"m sorry if any of my posts offend you, but I've seen the world for what it is . I've lived through things that no one should have to go through and i've been in law enforcement for 20 years....i'm pretty jaded in my outlook, i'll admit that. but i also know there is alot worse than being called a name you don't like. so yes your perception/experiences with life has alot to do with how you feel about alot of things

[ahippiechic]

I don't know how old you are...I'm 44, so not young. I used to not call my friends nigga, but they called me that, and I've heard it so much, I guess I just picked it up too.

To me, it's in the way things are said. If you're mad at me and call me a bitch, I probably wouldn't like it. But if you're playing, like Mslynn mentioned in her post, then no, it doesn't bother me. (but being called names doesn't bother me much anyway) When my friends and I call each other 'my nigga' it's just another way of saying 'my friend' or 'my home-girl'. You said you call some of your friends "sister'...same difference.

I have a friend, who when I call her, I show up on her caller ID as "Wite Gurl" lol! A few friends call me that sometimes. I answer to it.

My downstairs neighbor calls me "esse" since I fixed his car one day.

[tigger4]

I do not want to start anything, I really want to know

I just read Dog's "racial slur" I agree the word he used is nasty and should not be used at all.

But why do blacks call each other the n word? I don't call my friends whitey when I am talking to them.
Sometimes I call them darling, or honey, (I am a southern lady, bless your heart) and my church friends I call sister, once in a while I actually call them by their name, lol.

How does calling someone n****** come up in conversation?

If you ask some black people why they use that word they will tell you that they have taken it from the white people. If they take a word that the white people use as a put down and turn it into their own thing it is a slap in the face to the white people. Now I am not talking about all black people and I am not talking about all white people. I am talking about racist white people and the black people I know who feel this way are from the streets and projects. My husband is black and grew up in a hard neighborhood and they use the N word a lot, but it is their way of not only greeting each other but also showing the racist whites where we're from that their word doesn't have any effect on them anymore.

Does that make sense?

[ahippiechic]

If you ask some black people why they use that word they will tell you that they have taken it from the white people. If they take a word that the white people use as a put down and turn it into their own thing it is a slap in the face to the white people. Now I am not talking about all black people and I am not talking about all white people. I am talking about racist white people and the black people I know who feel this way are from the streets and projects. My husband is black and grew up in a hard neighborhood and they use the N word a lot, but it is their way of not only greeting each other but also showing the racist whites where we're from that their word doesn't have any effect on them anymore.

Does that make sense?

This is true of some black people I know also.

Where i live tho, it's used mostly by friends who call each other that and in my group, not only black people use it, but whites and hispanics as well. And since this place is pretty 'blue', I get called 'cuz' alot too. Although I know that most of them know I'm not a Crip they get in the habit of saying it. I just tell them, "I ain't your CUZ, blood!' that stops it for a while, lol!

[justme23]

My friends and I call each other that. And bitch, ho... I can't even begin to list the screwed up names I call one friend. I'm sure I'd be banned. I don't even think twice about it when we are all doing it in fun, honestly. My friend lives in govt housing (although I'm not sure that matters) and there is quite a mix of ppl there. They ALL say it to each other, no matter the color.

[Adra]

Thank you for answering and it really did give me a different way of looking at things and that was why I asked.


I am a child abuse survivor, and trust me I truly came from the worst. I do not want to call myself what I was called as a child to prove to anyone that I am not what I was called.

But I do understand somewhat. And I will try not to cringe when I hear a person call another person that. IT just might be said in a loving and friendly way.

[ahippiechic]

Thank you for answering and it really did give me a different way of looking at things and that was why I asked.


I am a child abuse survivor, and trust me I truly came from the worst. I do not want to call myself what I was called as a child to prove to anyone that I am not what I was called.

But I do understand somewhat. And I will try not to cringe when I hear a person call another person that. IT just might be said in a loving and friendly way.

Example of phone convo I had on Monday, when I was late meeting a friend for lunch...

me (after seeing her # on the caller ID) - S'up?
her - where you at nigga??
me - still on the bus
her - dayum! I done eat mine AND yours!
me - bitch don't mess with my food!
her - hurry up nigga!
click.

We're twisted like that, lol!

[MsLynn]

and i'll bet you had a smile on your face when you hung up the phone, didnt' ya??

[ahippiechic]

and i'll bet you had a smile on your face when you hung up the phone, didnt' ya??

Sure did! And when I got there, the 1st thing I said was to tell Nay-Nay that she didn't need to be eating MY food, her ass was fat enough!

[MsLynn]

yeah one of the girls in my class, walks up and says "Hi Hooker", i told her, HEY BITCH, I'M A CALL GIRL, lmao, if i gotta be giving it up for money, lol might as well be lots of it, lmao



giving up my age here, lol, but it reminded me of the "Three's Company" where Janet asked Chrissy's Friend who was a call girl, "whats the difference between a hooker and a call girl" the friend replied that "hookers don't drive Fiari's", lmao

[tigger4]

This is true of some black people I know also.

Where i live tho, it's used mostly by friends who call each other that and in my group, not only black people use it, but whites and hispanics as well. And since this place is pretty 'blue', I get called 'cuz' alot too. Although I know that most of them know I'm not a Crip they get in the habit of saying it. I just tell them, "I ain't your CUZ, blood!' that stops it for a while, lol!

My son's friends all call each other the N word. They are black, white, Mexican and even a few Eastern Indian kids. It is just something they do.

My husband doesn't really the use the word. And his mother never uses the word, but his dad (his parents are divorced) says it a lot.

[Adra]

I am 56 and I can not see me talking to my any of my friends or family like that.


My eyes have been opened. (a little)

It still does not sound like an affectionate term. Probably cause of the way I was raised.

My father was at one time a member of the KKK and N**** was just used freely with no thought that it might hurt someones feelings. At 84 my mom still uses the word and says she is too old to change. Course as a 9 yr. old I was called a whore, cause a little girl polished my nails red in school.

I know I look at things different because of the warpped way I was raised.

-------------------------------

Totally off topic, but I am so proud of baby

He has told me twice today he had to go peepee before he went in his pullups, and once he started to wet his pullups and came running to tell me . I reward him will choc. chips. I know please do not yell at me for rewarding with food. I know it is a bad habit , but they are small and it does seem to work better.

[MsLynn]

yeah, my grandmother used to whisper the word "indian", cause when she grew up it was a shame to be indian. I'm the only one in my family that actually looks indian so she didn't like me very much, lol and was very open about it.

yeah the way you were raised can greatly influence how you look at things.

[ahippiechic]

Congrats on the pee-pee thing, lol! It's great when they finally start to learn to tell when they need to go. I wouldn't worry about the chocolate chips either.

[ahippiechic]

yeah, my grandmother used to whisper the word "indian", cause when she grew up it was a shame to be indian. I'm the only one in my family that actually looks indian so she didn't like me very much, lol and was very open about it.

yeah the way you were raised can greatly influence how you look at things.

I grew up around a lot of KKK members also. So I heard 'nigg-er' a lot. But to me, it's a totally different word than 'Nigga', with a totally different meaning.

And I'm 1/2 Cherokee and when I was growing up, my grandparents didn't want me to be teased at school, so they would never let me braid my ponytails and finally cut my hair short. (although I don't really think I look Native American, except for having black hair)

[Tasha405]

Hippie & MsLynn.. thats exactly how me and my friends are too! Hell.. I even call my Granny a crackhead and crackho! :lol (no offense to the crackheads and crackhos out there) She just laughs. She knows I'm crazy. lol

It all always said in fun. :)

[ahippiechic]

Hippie & MsLynn.. thats exactly how me and my friends are too! Hell.. I even call my Granny a crackhead and crackho! :lol (no offense to the crackheads and crackhos out there) She just laughs. She knows I'm crazy. lol

It all always said in fun. :)

LMAO!

[YankeeMary]

I think its a shame that a person can say nigger and lose everything. His show has been cancelled yadda yadda yadda. Yet the word nigger is blasting in many many songs. It just is reverse racisim (I am sure its spelled wrong.). I am not saying he should have said it and I am not defending his choice of words, but I do defend he has the right to freedom of speech and privacy. He was on the phone having a private conversation and someone secretly taped him (is possibly illegal in some states). I understand that it is a HUGE insult to the black people, but other blacks can say it no problem. I live outside of Atlanta and have heard 2 men fighting (both blackmen) and they were screaming f-ing nigger, not nigga. So its ok for them but not for a white person to say it??? Wrong is wrong, the color shouldn't matter, correct? It was Dog's choice to use that word and he did, move on. This man does a great deal to get the real trash off the streets, but because he said the "N" word he is now horrible??? I was taught nigger meant trash, didn't matter if people were black, white, green or blue, if you were trashy you were a nigger. Its a sad sad day with real problems in this world that our entire country focuses so much on a simple word. Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt yah. I know this is easy for me to say as I am white and my ancestors didn't suffer like the ancestors of the black people due to the use of this word. But I say rise above it and don't let the past ruin your future. I really hate that all people can't just mesh and become one society. Maybe one day eh? Just for the record, I am not interested in stirring the pot, just giving an opinion. Also I am not against blacks, I just hate that one word defines how people act once its spoken.

[ahippiechic]

There is a difference between what he said, 'nigg-er', and calling your friends 'nigga'.

[YankeeMary]

There is a difference between what he said, 'nigg-er', and calling your friends 'nigga'.

I understand that completely. I really do...lol. I am not that square...:rofl: (close though)...hehe.

[Tasha405]

I think its sad he lost his show over it. I mean, it was a coversation he was having in private and if he chooses to use that word then thats his business. As long as he's not out yelling it at people and saying it out in public and going crazy with it.

Like some have said.. you hear it a lot in music and black people say it to each other all the time. So if its a bad word then it should be bad for all, not just white people. And to be honest with you... I want everyone yanked from TV for saying Bitch because I get offended. :lol


And before yall start jumping onto me... yes I know its not a nice word to say and all that. I understand that. But I'm sure we all say things in private or whatever that would offend someone, somewhere. And I think that this shouldn't be held against him, his job, for something he said in private. Its a sad situation really. My 7 yr old loves his show. We watched it a lot.

[YankeeMary]

. And to be honest with you... I want everyone yanked from TV for saying Bitch because I get offended. :lol




:rofl: I understand how you feel. I resemble that remark...haha

[Tasha405]

:rofl: I understand how you feel. I resemble that remark...haha

:rolling

[Adra]

I am also offended by some words and remarks, I just choose to back away. The F word really does offend me, so does G-D, but those are words that offend ME. I would like it if i never had to hear or see them again but I am realistic and do not think that anyone is going to change the way they do things because of the way I feel.

I also think that if he was having a private conforsation someone stepped over the bounds to make it public. I don't particularly care for him and have never watched his show but I think he was not treated right.

[Kyla Kym]

That's the first thing I thought to when I heard his show had been canceled because of it. I couldn't believe they did that, when you can't turn on the TV without hearing rappers saying that same word. They were saying it right and left in the movie White Chicks. I've seen that same word on products before from other countries. So that must be the word for the color black in some other countries. I've even bought pinto beans that say negro on them. I don't know what it means, but it must not be a bad word in other countries or they wouldn't put in on products......

Also why did A&E hire him to start with??? They knew his background....he's no saint......he was in a bad biker gang for a long time when he was young, then he served a sentence in Folsom prison. What kind of idiot at A&E hired him thinking that he might not talk that way sometimes, especially in his private life? You don't live a hard mean life, then just completely change over night. Anyone that strives to be a better person, like he has will slip up from time to time. But at least he is trying to be a good person and they should just accept his apology and go from there. Even Jesus forgives us! Shouldn't we do the same for Dog? He's a good person, that probably regreets saying it. I'm sure we all say things we regret saying and don't even know why we said it in the first place. I bet theirs not one single person on this board that hasn't said a racial slur at least once in their life, or laughed at one being said by someone else. Just like on that movie White chicks. I laughed my ass off through the whole show.

What about all the negative words used against white people? We are suppose to just smile and act like it's ok to call us honkie, cracker, gringo, etc..

I think it would be wonderful if the whole world would stop calling each other any derogatory names. But that probably won't ever happen...

[ahippiechic]

I don't really care for Dog, but he said it in a private convo that shouldn't have been made public.

And yes, in several languages, 'Negro' means 'black.'

[MsLynn]

ok, i'm lost, who in the world lost their show because of it

[Kyla Kym]

I don't really care for Dog, but he said it in a private convo that shouldn't have been made public.

And yes, in several languages, 'Negro' means 'black.'

I'm not a big fan either. But I'm always a fan of anyone that is trying to better themselves and not fall back into their old ways. I'm sure it's a hard struggle to try and be a good person when you have lived a mean hard life. So anyone trying to better themselves in a positive way is worth forgiving. I think he deserves another chance.

[Kyla Kym]

ok, i'm lost, who in the world lost their show because of it

Dog The Bounty Hunter on A&E channel.

His real name is Dewayne Chapman (sp?)
Him and his whole family live in Hawaii and they are real life bounty hunters that they film on location. :)

[Kyla Kym]

I just found his public apology if anyone would like to read it.
http://www.orato.com/current-events/2007/11/01/dog-bounty-hunter-i-am-deeply-sorry

My sincerest, heartfelt appologies go out to every person I have offended for my regrettable use of very inappropriate language. I am deeply disappointed in myself for speaking out of anger to my son and using such a hateful term in a private phone conversation. It was completely taken out of context.

I was disappointed in his choice of a friend, not due to her race, but her character. However, I should have never used that term. I have the utmost respect and aloha for black people – who have already suffered so much due to racial discrimination and acts of hatred.

I did not mean to add yet another slap in the face to an entire race of people who have brought so many gifts to this world. I am ashamed of myself and I pledge to do whatever I can to repair this damage I have caused.

In Hawai’i, we have something called ho’oponopono, where people come together to resolve crises and restore peace and balance. I am meeting with my spiritual advisor, Rev. Tim Storey, and hope to meet with other black leaders so they can see who I really am and teach me the right thing to do to make things right, again.

I know that all of my fans are deeply disappointed in me, as well, as I have tried to be a model for doing the right thing. I did not do the right thing this time, and hope you will forgive me. We learn from our mistakes, as my story of overcoming a life of crime has proven, and I will learn from this one for the rest of my life.

[ahippiechic]

My grandmother always used the word "nigg-er' because growing up, that's all she had ever heard them called. Later in life, when she realized it was insult, she tried very hard not to say it, but sometimes it slipped. It's hard to change a lifetime of habit and not make a mistake sometimes. My grandmother was one of least racist people I've ever known, she loved everyone.

[kabcrisp]

Here's my take. . .

I absolutely love Dog & his family I watch the show and I am black. On the show he seems to be a caring individual and he seems to truly care about those he brings to justice and the way he does so is done tactfully if sometimes forcefully as well.

So, to hear he used the word hurts. It's kinda like being slapped in the face and the person who you think he is. . .he really isn't. Like what he portarays on the show is false.

I know the word is used a lot in mian stream society but I am not suprised to hear it come from some urban hip-hoppers mouth but when it comes from someone you respect. . .it is much more harsh.

I am gald he apologized and I accept but I wonder ,if once he's apprehended a minority criminal if he isn't thinking. . ."They are just n*****rs", who got what they deserve. As opposed to, "I hope that person changes thier life as I did".

[Kyla Kym]

I am gald he apologized and I accept but I wonder ,if once he's apprehended a minority criminal if he isn't thinking. . ."They are just n*****rs", who got what they deserve. As opposed to, "I hope that person changes thier life as I did".

Maybe he did think that way, but I really don't think he feels that way in his heart. You got to remember he was a really bad person at one time, that is trying to be good now. It takes allot of hard work to be good if you had always been bad in the past. I feel like he believes in God, so therefor he has a conscience about going against God's word. Which means we are all God's people and we are suppose to love one another no matter what color we are. So I have a feeling he will learn from this and will truly change how he feels in his heart now. (If indeed he is prejudice). I say don't give up on him, just pray for him. I think he needs them, and would really appreciate it. :hug


P.S. allot of how people become prejudice is by how they are brought up. If you teach your kids to hate other races, they probably will. I was lucky enough to be brought up by 2 people that never ever acted or talked raciest. The subject never was even brought up in my home. I was brought up to think people are people no matter what color their skin is. I was shocked when I got out in the real world and seen prejudice on both sides.

I believe some black people are just as guilty of teaching their children to be prejudice as some white people are. I think that telling black children about their ancestors being slaves will make them see white people in a different light. Which I could understand. If someone told me my ancestor's were miss treated by black people I would probably have a hard time trying to love black people......so it makes me wonder if our society will ever be able to see each other as just other human beings.

Most white people now probably think how I do. I don't see how our white ancestor's could have ever been so cruel. We know how wrong it is. And would never dream of wanting such things as human slaves. And if the truth be known, it was just a small amount of people back then that were actually rich enough to have slaves. So most of us probably didn't even have ancestors that owned slaves. But we feel like we are still being punished for what a hand full of rich white people did over 100 years ago. Something we have never did ourselves and would never dream of doing. So that's my opinion on what makes allot of white people prejudiced nowadays.

I'm not trying to get into a debate or argument with anyone on the board. That's just my own personal thoughts on what is happening nowadays.

[Fred12]

I think it is a shame that a private and personal conservation was made public. I don't see how Tucker could do that to his father. But I also think that because it was private and not on camera that he was showing his true character. He's a racist. :thumpdown:

What has always gotten to me was, he would have a group prayer holding hands and as soon as he says Amen, he says something like... lets go get the fuc_er. I am not judging him, I cuss too. But not 1 second after saying Amen.

I haven't read through all the posts so I don't know if this has been posted or not. To hear the tape click here and scroll down.

Warning: This tape contain racist and offensive language.
http://www.nationalenquirer.com/dog_bounty_hunter_racial_slur_tape/celebrity/64325

[Kyla Kym]

I think it is a shame that a private and personal conservation was made public. I don't see how Tucker could do that to his father. But I also think that because it was private and not on camera that he was showing his true character. He's a racist. :thumpdown:

What has always gotten to me was, he would have a group prayer holding hands and as soon as he says Amen, he says something like... lets go get the fuc_er. I am not judging him, I cuss too. But not 1 second after saying Amen.

I haven't read through all the posts so I don't know if this has been posted or not. To hear the tape click here and scroll down.

Warning: This tape contain racist and offensive language.
http://www.nationalenquirer.com/dog_bounty_hunter_racial_slur_tape/celebrity/64325

It sounds like to me that you just want people to hate him, from now on, and not forgive him?

Even people who have been Christians from the day they are born are sinners.

He might say things that normal people wouldn't say after a prayer. But the way I see it, he was a really bad person before he found God. You can't just change over night. You have to work really hard at it.

And you might be right, he might be just pulling the wool over our eye's and pretending to love God. But honestly, I kind of doubt it....he would have gotten the show regardless if he believe in God or not. Just because of who he is and what he does. It was a show just waiting to happen. :) and it would have still been a popular show with or without the prayers in it.

[DestinysGrandma]

P.S. allot of how people become prejudice is by how they are brought up. If you teach your kids to hate other races, they probably will. I was lucky enough to be brought up by 2 people that never ever acted or talked raciest. The subject never was even brought up in my home. I was brought up to think people are people no matter what color their skin is. I was shocked when I got out in the real world and seen prejudice on both sides.


Exactly my feelings. As a family when growing up we were taught that word was an abomination. We always had friends who were Mexican, Chinese and black and they were all welcome in our home. Mom would even take in kids who need a place to stay away from their abusive parents.

[Kyla Kym]

Exactly my feelings. As a family when growing up we were taught that word was an abomination. We always had friends who were Mexican, Chinese and black and they were all welcome in our home. Mom would even take in kids who need a place to stay away from their abusive parents.

Isn't that such a wonderful feeling? :hug
My mom has allot of Mexican friends. Some of them can't even speak English very well. She has invited whole Mexican families over to stay the night with her. I guess they have a real fun time too. She acts like they hung the moon and stars. :D I'm glad I was raised by someone that didn't teach me to hate others because of their skin color. :)

[tigger4]

Maybe he did think that way, but I really don't think he feels that way in his heart. You got to remember he was a really bad person at one time, that is trying to be good now. It takes allot of hard work to be good if you had always been bad in the past. I feel like he believes in God, so therefor he has a conscience about going against God's word. Which means we are all God's people and we are suppose to love one another no matter what color we are. So I have a feeling he will learn from this and will truly change how he feels in his heart now. (If indeed he is prejudice). I say don't give up on him, just pray for him. I think he needs them, and would really appreciate it. :hug


P.S. allot of how people become prejudice is by how they are brought up. If you teach your kids to hate other races, they probably will. I was lucky enough to be brought up by 2 people that never ever acted or talked raciest. The subject never was even brought up in my home. I was brought up to think people are people no matter what color their skin is. I was shocked when I got out in the real world and seen prejudice on both sides.

I believe some black people are just as guilty of teaching their children to be prejudice as some white people are. I think that telling black children about their ancestors being slaves will make them see white people in a different light. Which I could understand. If someone told me my ancestor's were miss treated by black people I would probably have a hard time trying to love black people......so it makes me wonder if our society will ever be able to see each other as just other human beings.

Most white people now probably think how I do. I don't see how our white ancestor's could have ever been so cruel. We know how wrong it is. And would never dream of wanting such things as human slaves. And if the truth be known, it was just a small amount of people back then that were actually rich enough to have slaves. So most of us probably didn't even have ancestors that owned slaves. But we feel like we are still being punished for what a hand full of rich white people did over 100 years ago. Something we have never did ourselves and would never dream of doing. So that's my opinion on what makes allot of white people prejudiced nowadays.

I'm not trying to get into a debate or argument with anyone on the board. That's just my own personal thoughts on what is happening nowadays.


So, you're saying that people shouldn't be taught about slavery?

And a lot of the reason that black people feel the way they do about whites is racism is still alive and well in the world. Granted there isn't slavery, but there is out and out racism out there. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your color? Ever not gotten a job because of your color? Ever been pulled over by the police for walking in the wrong neighborhood? A lot of black people have. I have seen my husband get stopped by the police so they could find out why he was walking in our mostly white neighborhood. I have seen my husband train a man at his job just for the man to be made into his supervisor. I have seen people talk to my husband on the phone for a job interview and then seen the look of shock on their face when meeting my husband and realizing he is not white.

It isn't just about slavery. It is about being made to sit at the back of the bus, having to use different water fountains, different bathrooms, different schools. Slavery is just a part of it.

[Tasha405]

It isn't just about slavery. It is about being made to sit at the back of the bus, having to use different water fountains, different bathrooms, different schools. Slavery is just a part of it.

But its not like that now. Thats how it used to be and I understand that but its not like that now and I don't understand why people keep bringing it up nowadays. We can't help, control or change things that happened in the past. We can only make things better in the present and future. :)


Oh and some of those things you mentioned in your post can and does happen to white people too.

[vicky122]

Same here. And I'm white but I call some of my friends (black, white and hispanic) 'nigga'. And they call me that too. It means homie, friend, etc. It's different than 'nigg-er'.

Where I work in a high school thats how the kids are. And yes they call thier white friends that.

[tigger4]

But its not like that now. Thats how it used to be and I understand that but its not like that now and I don't understand why people keep bringing it up nowadays. We can't help, control or change things that happened in the past. We can only make things better in the present and future. :)


Oh and some of those things you mentioned in your post can and does happen to white people too.

Yes, some of those things can happen to white people. I never said they didn't.

But, there is still an inequality in the way things are done. There is still racism out there whether you want to believe it or not. And yes, there are blacks who are racist against whites and I think that is just as wrong.

But, to say oh slavery is over and the civil rights movement is over all is good in the world is just foolish.

[Tasha405]

Yes, some of those things can happen to white people. I never said they didn't.

But, there is still an inequality in the way things are done. There is still racism out there whether you want to believe it or not. And yes, there are blacks who are racist against whites and I think that is just as wrong.

But, to say oh slavery is over and the civil rights movement is over all is good in the world is just foolish.

Well then I guess I am foolish because I don't see slavery taking place now, in the present time.

[Kyla Kym]

So, you're saying that people shouldn't be taught about slavery?
Nope! I didn't say that at all! And don't you try and say that I did. You need to reread my post if that's what you think I was trying to say, because your dead wrong.



Have you ever been discriminated against because of your color? Ever not gotten a job because of your color?
Oh please! you have got to be joking! My husband and I both have had that happen to us. My husband was passed over twice for a boss job when he was more qualified for it, and he had worked his ass off to get it. Even the black guy that got it, was shocked my hubby didn't get it....he's a friend of ours, and he even told us that he knew that my husband was the better man for the job. But you can't blame him for taking it. Who would turn down something like that? So to answer your question, Oh HELL yes we have been discriminated against because of our color!

[tigger4]

Well then I guess I am foolish because I don't see slavery taking place now, in the present time.


I never said slavery was taking place. I said racism takes place. There is a difference.

[tigger4]

Nope! I didn't say that at all! And don't you try and say that I did. You need to reread my post if that's what you think I was trying to say, because your dead wrong.


Oh please! you have got to be joking! My husband and I both have had that happen to us. My husband was passed over twice for a boss job when he was more qualified for it, and he had worked his ass off to get it. Even the black guy that got it, was shocked my hubby didn't get it....he's a friend of ours, and he even told us that he knew that my husband was the better man for the job. But you can't blame him for taking it. Who would turn down something like that? So to answer your question, Oh HELL yes we have been discriminated against because of our color!



No, what you said was that black people teaching their children about slavery creates animosity towards white people. So, they should just forget about a whole time period of history? I don't get that at all.

I am sorry your husband was passed over for a job. Are you sure it was because of his color? I know my husband was passed over because of his color because his boss got drunk at the company party one year and told us.

[Kyla Kym]

I never said slavery was taking place. I said racism takes place. There is a difference.

Your just trying to pick a fight. You took my post and twisted it all out of shape to suit yourself as a way to pick a fight.

[Kyla Kym]

No, what you said was that black people teaching their children about slavery creates animosity towards white people. So, they should just forget about a whole time period of history? I don't get that at all.

I am sorry your husband was passed over for a job. Are you sure it was because of his color? I know my husband was passed over because of his color because his boss got drunk at the company party one year and told us.

LIKE I SAID, I NEVER ONCE SAID THEY SHOULDN'T BE TAUGHT OUR HISTORY!
Don't take what I'm saying out of context and twist it up to turn it into a fight.

You need to reread my post, I'm not going to argue with you when your turning my post into something it's not.

Your husbands boss must suck then, where my husband works they can't do things like that.
And yes, I do know my husband was passed up because of his color. My husband has a boss job now. He's one of the best ones they have there.

[tigger4]

No I am not trying to pick a fight and the part you quoted me on wasn't even addressing you.

I stated a simple fact. Tasha said she didn't see slavery taking place now. I said not slavery, racism. It had nothing to do with what you said.

[Tasha405]

But, to say oh slavery is over and the civil rights movement is over all is good in the world is just foolish.

But it is what you said. Thats why I said I must be foolish because I don't see it taking place now.

[Tasha405]

I do know and understand that racism takes place. As sad as it is, it comes from all races. Not just one or two.

[tigger4]

But it is what you said. Thats why I said I must be foolish because I don't see it taking place now.



Sorry, I see what you are saying. Slavery is over, but racism is a long way from being over. There is too much hurt, hatred, and lack of trust on both sides.

[Tasha405]

Sorry, I see what you are saying. Slavery is over, but racism is a long way from being over. There is too much hurt, hatred, and lack of trust on both sides.

I agree with you on that. Its sad.

[ahippiechic]

Racism is still very much alive and well. I see it everyday where I live. We have some of the most racist police officers in our precinct. I've had to deal with them as an apartment manager and as a tenent. If you live here and are black (and to some extent, hispanic) you'd do best to stay out of their way.

But I do know some black people who are very racist also.

[tigger4]

Oh there are definitely blacks that are racist. I can remember when we lived in Ohio being called names by black people for being married to a black man. I have had my children threatened. Hell, my own FIL and step-MIL aren't real thrilled that I am white. So, it definitely isn't just a one-sided thing.

[Kyla Kym]

I do know and understand that racism takes place. As sad as it is, it comes from all races. Not just one or two.

Just for the record I know this isn't addressed to me. ;) But I couldn't agree with you more Tasha :)......

And just to make it plain and clear, my previous post to whom it may concern was just my personal observation on "WHY racism is alive and well still to this day".

[tigger4]

So, you think that blacks teaching their kids about slavery is part of why racism is alive and well today?

[Tasha405]

Just for the record I know this isn't addressed to me. ;) But I couldn't agree with you more Tasha :)......

And just to make it plain and clear, my previous post to whom it may concern was just my personal observation on "WHY racism is alive and well still to this day".

No, it wasn't addressed to you. lol I was just adding it to the other post but forgot to hit edit and hit reply and just went ahead and made it a new post. Yeah, I'm lazy like that. :p :lol

You know I love ya girl! :hug

[taylyn]

To go back to the original question-

I think Bill Cosby Did a Show one time where he was against Blacks talking to each other like this.
He was saying how you have a Black man who wants to be treated equal and be respected, Yet he will Yell Yo Nigga or Nigger to his Friend on the other side of the street.

I Definatly think that they are insulting themselves Plain and simple. Its not an insult to Me or the white race IMO... I think it is just a Dumb uneducated thing to say.

I think it is Totally Different if you call your Girlfriend "Hey B*tch" , Or whatever.
A Whole nation didn't call her anscestors B*tch before that. AND her ancestors didn't Spend years being called that name and ridiculed and looked down on.

I don't think they do BUT ..Do other members of races and religions call each other names to show their friendliness????


I listen to a fifty cent song and I want to throw up at all the times he sounds so stupid saying N...... This and N..... that and all you N's .

Whatever, I am not trying to stir anything up either;)
This has always been a pet peeve of mine.

[Kyla Kym]

So, you think that blacks teaching their kids about slavery is part of why racism is alive and well today?

Like I said earlier, NOPE THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID!

Below is what I said. It's a observation. If your parents taught you that your grandparents where beat and made into slaves by the black people, then I'm sure you wouldn't be real in love with black people thinking that your ancestors had always been beat down by the black man. I'm saying if you put the shoes on the other foot and tried to see how black people probably feel nowadays knowing how their ancestors were treated, then we could understand how they could still be feelings of prejudice for the whites. I could see how hard it would be for them to get past that.

That's what I was saying, does that make better sense to you?





P.S. allot of how people become prejudice is by how they are brought up. If you teach your kids to hate other races, they probably will. I was lucky enough to be brought up by 2 people that never ever acted or talked raciest. The subject never was even brought up in my home. I was brought up to think people are people no matter what color their skin is. I was shocked when I got out in the real world and seen prejudice on both sides.

I believe some black people are just as guilty of teaching their children to be prejudice as some white people are. [u]I think that telling black children about their ancestors being slaves will make them see white people in a different light. Which I could understand. If someone told me my ancestor's were miss treated by black people I would probably have a hard time trying to love black people......so it makes me wonder if our society will ever be able to see each other as just other human beings.[/b]

Most white people now probably think how I do. I don't see how our white ancestor's could have ever been so cruel. We know how wrong it is. And would never dream of wanting such things as human slaves. And if the truth be known, it was just a small amount of people back then that were actually rich enough to have slaves. So most of us probably didn't even have ancestors that owned slaves. But we feel like we are still being punished for what a hand full of rich white people did over 100 years ago. Something we have never did ourselves and would never dream of doing. So that's my opinion on what makes allot of white people prejudiced nowadays.

I'm not trying to get into a debate or argument with anyone on the board. That's just my own personal thoughts on what is happening nowadays.

[taylyn]

Most white people now probably think how I do. I don't see how our white ancestor's could have ever been so cruel. We know how wrong it is. And would never dream of wanting such things as human slaves. And if the truth be known, it was just a small amount of people back then that were actually rich enough to have slaves. So most of us probably didn't even have ancestors that owned slaves. But we feel like we are still being punished for what a hand full of rich white people did over 100 years ago. Something we have never did ourselves and would never dream of doing. So that's my opinion on what makes allot of white people prejudiced nowadays.



GREAT point - even if you werent trying to make one;)

I personally don't Know Anyone whose ancestors have actually Owned a Slave that they know of.

We learned that in american history ... That it wasn't a big thing in this area Ever.
My Mom also Grew up in a town in the 40's and ALWAYS had black classmates.
So there wasn't Segregation everywhere either.

[buglebe]

I think somehow we got off the subject here. I didn't know about any of this about Dog. When did it happen? I have listened to the tape several times. It sounds to me he is trying to explain to his son why he can't have a black girl in the family , ie, because of the language used around the house. I think Dog has turned out to be a great guy. I think he truly does try to do good. I personally think there is no place for that word to be used, and no excuse for it anywhere but what people say in the privacy of their own home is their own business. The conversations that go on in a home are just as privileged as the sex that goes on in a home. For his son to betray him like this is something that may take years to work through and may never work through and that is the saddest part, sadder than losing his show. But to me it would seem Dog has done a good enough job in his home to make his kids feel racially equal and not superior or his son wouldn't be with a black girl in the first place. If this thread is going to be used to discuss racial inequalities, this thread will never end. We need to try to get back to the point of this thread Dog.

[YankeeMary]

I think it is a shame that a private and personal conservation was made public. I don't see how Tucker could do that to his father. But I also think that because it was private and not on camera that he was showing his true character. He's a racist. :thumpdown:

What has always gotten to me was, he would have a group prayer holding hands and as soon as he says Amen, he says something like... lets go get the fuc_er. I am not judging him, I cuss too. But not 1 second after saying Amen.

I haven't read through all the posts so I don't know if this has been posted or not. To hear the tape click here and scroll down.

Warning: This tape contain racist and offensive language.
http://www.nationalenquirer.com/dog_bounty_hunter_racial_slur_tape/celebrity/64325

I am not trying to be ugly here but just because you say f***er doesn't erase your prayer. Saying f***er won't keep you out of Heaven. God knows his heart. Now him saying it isn't "correct" according to society but it isn't a sin. It doesn't sound good and isn't the greatest word for someone acting as a witness to the Lord, but it isn't a sin.

[tsquared]

as with anything else it depends on the conotation of the word...........as to how people perceive the meaning of the word

[tsquared]

I am not trying to be ugly here but just because you say f***er doesn't erase your prayer. Saying f***er won't keep you out of Heaven. God knows his heart. Now him saying it isn't "correct" according to society but it isn't a sin. It doesn't sound good and isn't the greatest word for someone acting as a witness to the Lord, but it isn't a sin.

on the reverse side of that to continue doing something that you know is wrong in the Lord's eyes is to constantly be asking for the Lord's forgiveness for doing something that is not acceptable in his eyes

[shellysms]

well...i like DOG...I happen to have 2 or 3 DOG the bounty hunter shirts...I have his theme song on my cellphone..I just like them. Yes, he thinks he's a bad a@@ and all that.. BUT call me silly but I like the show. I tape DOG all the time. I hate what he said.. BUT my mouth sometimes gets the best of me too.....I can go to the mall and hear every single word you can imagine..heck..I can turn on the tv and hear it. Are they going to cancel every show on tv. You know.. my daughter asked me the other day wassup dog? My reply.. woof woof. Yeah, I know it's not the same. BUT people use different words in different ways. Yes, we know what way Dog said it in...and I'm sure he truly regrets it. But just as life..you do things you regret...and you can't take somethings back. BUT it is life....and you have to go on and get over it..I think once his apology was made...his show should go on.. FREE THE DOG!!

[YankeeMary]

on the reverse side of that to continue doing something that you know is wrong in the Lord's eyes is to constantly be asking for the Lord's forgiveness for doing something that is not acceptable in his eyes

You are sooooo right. But saying f***er isn't something IMO you have to ask for forgiveness for unless you are calling someone that out of anger.

[YankeeMary]

well...i like DOG...I happen to have 2 or 3 DOG the bounty hunter shirts...I have his theme song on my cellphone..I just like them. Yes, he thinks he's a bad a@@ and all that.. BUT call me silly but I like the show. I tape DOG all the time. I hate what he said.. BUT my mouth sometimes gets the best of me too.....I can go to the mall and hear every single word you can imagine..heck..I can turn on the tv and hear it. Are they going to cancel every show on tv. You know.. my daughter asked me the other day wassup dog? My reply.. woof woof. Yeah, I know it's not the same. BUT people use different words in different ways. Yes, we know what way Dog said it in...and I'm sure he truly regrets it. But just as life..you do things you regret...and you can't take somethings back. BUT it is life....and you have to go on and get over it..I think once his apology was made...his show should go on.. FREE THE DOG!!

ITA!!! (Haha, I stole Tasha's response...hehe.)

[tsquared]

You are sooooo right. But saying f***er isn't something IMO you have to ask for forgiveness for unless you are calling someone that out of anger.

i disagree as the word is a slang from the language that we as God's people were originally given.

[YankeeMary]

i disagree as the word is a slang from the language that we as God's people were originally given.
So you are saying the F word is a sin?

[tsquared]

So you are saying the F word is a sin?

nope i am saying to keep saying something we know is wrong weather it be morrally or legally is something we have been taught is not right in the Lord's eyes cause we know it is wrong to do........so we need to ask for forgiveness for continually doing something that we know is not right.

[YankeeMary]

nope i am saying to keep saying something we know is wrong weather it be morrally or legally is something we have been taught is not right in the Lord's eyes cause we know it is wrong to do........so we need to ask for forgiveness for continually doing something that we know is not right.

Ok...I get yah...I am a bit slow yah know. I do agree with what you are saying. We are on the same page I think, its just hard sometimes for me to get there.

[Tasha405]

ITA!!! (Haha, I stole Tasha's response...hehe.)

Hey, give it back! :slap



:lol

[Mom2Shaun]

If you ask some black people why they use that word they will tell you that they have taken it from the white people. If they take a word that the white people use as a put down and turn it into their own thing it is a slap in the face to the white people. Now I am not talking about all black people and I am not talking about all white people. I am talking about racist white people and the black people I know who feel this way are from the streets and projects. My husband is black and grew up in a hard neighborhood and they use the N word a lot, but it is their way of not only greeting each other but also showing the racist whites where we're from that their word doesn't have any effect on them anymore.

Does that make sense?

OK, I'm Irish, so maybe I'm dense about this subject (although I'm "black Irish" :coy ) I believe you're saying that many black people see this as a way of taking the power away from what was a derogatory word, and away from the people who used it to hurt them. That makes perfect sense.

But it ruins the whole "We don't care because we know we're OK" effect if you get really upset when someone uses the word. If someone is truly using it in a racist way, wouldn't it be better to just note their ignorance, and then be on your way? When the word is used with evil intent, it says a lot more about the person who is using it than it does about black people, right? And I think most people (at least, where I live) recognize that. If someone here used that word to be ugly, I bet most people here would shake their heads in pity or roll their eyes in disgust, and then just get away from the idiot who is spouting off. Wouldn't that really upset a racist; if a black person didn't let the "n-word" upset them? :razz :devil

I only read the first few pages of this thread, so I'm sorry if this has been addressed.

[freebielover]

Did y'all see the girlfriend is now trying to sue Dog for slander?? It's not like Dog released this tape about her, her own boyfriend sold the tape to the media, he should be sued not Dog. Looks like his son and sons GF are just looking for $$ and 15 minutes of fame. This whole situation was blown out of proportion, to me it sounded like he was worried she would get offended and go to the media if that word slipped, I don't think he was calling her that specifically. It was wrong but it was also wrong for the media and people to judge. I hope he gets his show back.

[ssgjeg]

To the original question. My husband works in Philadelphia and he says that sometimes when a black person calls another that name they are not being nice about it. It is meant to be just as derogatory as if a white person had said it. On the other hand, he says that other use it just the way the people here do, as a friendly name or greeting.

Now I can tell you that growing up we used the word in reference to black people. We even called my brothers friend "spook" to his face. He said we could call him anything as long as it was not said in anger. If it wasn't said in anger then he knew we didn't mean anything by it. If it was said in anger then he knew we were trying to hurt his feelings and then he would get mad.

I grew up and met a black guy, ironically, from Philadelphia (I grew up in sw Pa.) and my friends and I tried to explain to him that it was just a word we grew up with and we didn't mean anything by it. He explained to us how it made him feel evertime we used that word. I have not used that word since.

I am so proud of my son because 2 kids were arguing in school and one called the other nigg-er. He almost got in a fight defending the black kid. He doesn't like to visit his grandmother because she uses that word a lot. He wanted to ask her not to say it around him but I explained to him it is her home and she can say whatever she wants in it. He gets so offended by the word and he's only 13.

So I guess the only thing I can say is it is the context in which it is used that makes it offensive.

[janelle]

Wouldn't it be wonderful if all the bad words would just go away? My FIL taught his children not to use profanity or racist words. None of his children use that type of language. It is refreshing.

My brother has a habit of using the S word all the time. Some people get into the habit of using the F word. If those words were not in people's vocabulary then I think it would be better all around. But we have people saying those words all the time and even in songs.

My BIL was a guard in a prison. Everyone knew he would not use bad language. One time a prisoner tried to get him into trouble by saying he cussed him out. Everyone and I mean EVERYONE knew my BIL never said bad words even when mad so it couldn't be true.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could say that about everybody? We could still have disagreements but using more educated words is more appropriate. That is what Bill Cosby is saying. Disagree but stay above board with our language.

[tngirl]

You can call me a racist if you like, but I am not a racist. But, I don't see any difference in a black person being called this than them calling me a cracker. Do I use the word? I will admit it, yes I do. But, I do not use the word to include ALL black people and it is usually used when some dumb ass black person does something really dumb assed. And yes, I am definitely using it as an insult toward that person and that person only. I don't think they will allow me to post what I call someone of another race, white included, that does something dumbassed...lol, which in my opinion is a lot more insulting than ni**er (my attempt to be PC).

Words are words. They only have the power that is given them and no matter what word is used, if it is used in a certain fashion, it is an insult. To the people on here that are black, I would hope you are not insulted because you know what I am talking about. Back in the day (today even when dealing with older blacks) blacks would call another black person a ni**er and it was not in a "friendly" way, they meant the same thing that I do when I use the word.

Okay, let the word police come after me.

[ssgjeg]

Ok, I understand cracker and my son and I actually think that one is kinda cool but would somone please explain honkie to me? Even as a little kid I could never understand that one and no one could explain it to me. It's hard to insult someone if they think the insult is actually cool (cracker) or if they just don't understand it.

My husband and I were just talking about this the other day and he doesn't understand honkie either and he's in his 50's.

[PrincessArky]

I just think it's very wrong no matter who says it.

ditto

[Adra]

I am so proud of my bbs family for all of the ideas and thoughts from everyone, whites and blacks, but mostly I am proud of everyone for not turning my question into mud slinging .

Since the main question and answer has evolved into posts that are related to my question I will tell you about my experience.

About 7 yrs. ago I wowrked at a small casino and I was night shift manager. I sent my helper home cause we were so slow I knew I could handle it. After everyone left, I locked the doors and started cleaning.

THere was a knock on the door and the man that was there had been there before so I let him in. He pulled a gun and called me more names than I had ever been called. The main word he used was bitch. And he kekpt threatening to blow my f****** head off. THe gun was pressed up against my head. (My hands are shaking as I remember all of this)

He tied me up and poured pepsi on me, ( I don't know why) and I told him how to get the money from the drawer, he wanted the money from the machines. I did not have the keys for the machines and he was going to kill my f**** honkey white a**

He was a black man, and they never caught him. I had nightmares for YEARS because of what he did, I was scared to even leave my house.

When I finally did get out I went to eat with my daughter in law and we were sitting there and a black man started walking toward me. I started freaking out. He probably saw a fat white woman that was scared of blacks. What I saw was a black man with a gun that was going to shoot me.

The Lord has worked a lot of wonderful things in my life and my fear of blacks is for the most part gone. I am able to put things into perspective when I feel that unwarrented fear. I am not prejudiced at all.

People are just people, we are not that different.

[ladybugva]

wow thanks for sharing that story with us. I can't imagine how you felt. I am glad that God had worked in you to help take away the fear of the color of some ones skin.

[Adra]

I just heard on Dr. Phil a portion of the tape of Dog and his son. Only about a minute of it and just the part that I heard, I did not hear him CALL anyone a N*****/. He mostly said "we say n**** around here and I do not want there to be any thing brought up about what we say in our home.

I think it was pretty low of the son to tape him and then sell it.

He has singers on his show that wing about n*** this and N*** that and they are saying how wrong dog is to say N*****.

I really think it is being blown way out of propoertion and taken out of context.

How many of you say "I am going to try to jew her down on that price"?

Probably a lot of you and that is not a nice thing to say.

YOU and I have the right to say what we want to in our own home and no one is fighting for our rights. So what is next?

And I have heard too much about Al Sharpton and none of it is good stuff. From what I have heard he is an agitator.

Something is wrong with this picture.

How many of you say things in your home that sounds bad? Everyone of us has done that.

[tigger4]

OK, I'm Irish, so maybe I'm dense about this subject (although I'm "black Irish" :coy ) I believe you're saying that many black people see this as a way of taking the power away from what was a derogatory word, and away from the people who used it to hurt them. That makes perfect sense.
But it ruins the whole "We don't care because we know we're OK" effect if you get really upset when someone uses the word. If someone is truly using it in a racist way, wouldn't it be better to just note their ignorance, and then be on your way? When the word is used with evil intent, it says a lot more about the person who is using it than it does about black people, right? And I think most people (at least, where I live) recognize that. If someone here used that word to be ugly, I bet most people here would shake their heads in pity or roll their eyes in disgust, and then just get away from the idiot who is spouting off. Wouldn't that really upset a racist; if a black person didn't let the "n-word" upset them? :razz :devil

I only read the first few pages of this thread, so I'm sorry if this has been addressed.

Yes, that is it. I also think it is a horrible word. I don't care who says it. I cringe when I hear it come out of my son's mouth or my husband's mouth. I just don't like it.

The reason they get upset when a white person says it is because it is meant as an insult usually when a white person says it. For example, have you ever jokingly called your kid a brat? You know like come here brat and then give them a big old hug. BUT, if someone on the street called your kid a brat you'd be pissed, right? Do you see what I am saying?

ssgjeg- You are right. Sometimes they do use the N word as insult even among themselves. I don't know how many times I have been out with my step-MIL and we have seen some black person acting up and she will say Oh I hate when Niggers don't know how to act. So, it is used as an insult a lot.

TNGirl- The fact that you use the N word is on you. Does it make you racist? To alot of people yes it does. Sorry, but that is just the way I see it . I see black people do dumb things all the time, I don't call them the N word. I see Mexicans do dumb things all the time, I don't call them spics or wetbacks. I just don't use terms like that for people. I find it offensive. But, you are you and you make your own choices.

[janelle]

Adra reminded me of something I said to my friend.

She said Jew them down so I told her that is not a good thing to say and explained why. I told her I say can I dicker with you? She said, "Well that sounds worse" HAHAHAHA I had to agree.

[janelle]

http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_257b.html

I googled Honky and found this. Amazing how you can Google anything. Google it yourself. There is more but not sure if I can put it on here. Kinda nasty. Like in nasty smell and where it comes from.

[janelle]

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=honkeysuckapigheadjiveturkeyfool

Here is another one. I guess some people just like to call names when they are with other people.

If it is a friend then it's ok. If not a friend then it is wrong.

How confusing. It's easier for me not to use bad language. I don't call my hubby a male chauvinist pig and he doesn't call me a witch (I cleaned that up) even in jest. We use nice terms if we want to use slang.

[YankeeMary]

OK, I'm Irish, so maybe I'm dense about this subject (although I'm "black Irish" :coy ) I believe you're saying that many black people see this as a way of taking the power away from what was a derogatory word, and away from the people who used it to hurt them. That makes perfect sense.

But it ruins the whole "We don't care because we know we're OK" effect if you get really upset when someone uses the word. If someone is truly using it in a racist way, wouldn't it be better to just note their ignorance, and then be on your way? When the word is used with evil intent, it says a lot more about the person who is using it than it does about black people, right? And I think most people (at least, where I live) recognize that. If someone here used that word to be ugly, I bet most people here would shake their heads in pity or roll their eyes in disgust, and then just get away from the idiot who is spouting off. Wouldn't that really upset a racist; if a black person didn't let the "n-word" upset them? :razz :devil

I only read the first few pages of this thread, so I'm sorry if this has been addressed.

You put this perfectly. It is a beautiful response. I agree with you, rise above it.

[janelle]

My hubby worked with a guy once and saw him try to get a black guy upset by using derogatory words. Only thing was the black guy was from another country so the words meant nothing to him. He just smiled and didn't react. Sure made the guy frustrated. LOLOLOLOL

Now I need to go watch Dr. Phil and see what Jackson and Sharpton have to say about the whole thing. Roll eyes.

[Mom2Shaun]

The reason they get upset when a white person says it is because it is meant as an insult usually when a white person says it. For example, have you ever jokingly called your kid a brat? You know like come here brat and then give them a big old hug. BUT, if someone on the street called your kid a brat you'd be pissed, right? Do you see what I am saying?


Yes, I understand. What it boils down to is this (I think): In most cases, when a white person calls a black person the "n-word," he is trying to insult and upset the black person. Of course, when someone calls anyone else "an idiot" or "a jerk," they're usually trying to insult or upset them too. I guess the "n-word" is particularly infuriating to black people because of the history attached to it (wide-spread bigotry, lynchings, etc.). But I still say it would be better to frustrate the racist by not taking offense, but letting him know that his ignorance is showing.

I have a problem with all this racial stuff; I hate it when some black people act as if light skin is better than dark, or tell me proudly that they have a white great-grandma or something. (Is that supposed to be better? I don't see why!) I also hate it when my Korean friend wants surgery to make her eyes look more Caucasian. I don't want to plump my lips either. I'm perfectly happy with my ancestry and I wish everyone could be, because it just doesn't matter!

I've read a lot about this matter, and it seems that the rest of the world is not nearly as preocupied with race as we are in the U.S. I used to think that there were real, physical differences, such as black people more often have problems digesting milk. Then I found Asians do, too, and then I found out that there are some tribes in Africa (ex. the Masai) that live on milk! And there are some ethnic groups in Finland (as white as you can get!) that can't digest milk. There are a lot of things that we "knew" about other races that aren't true. Remember the "China doll" hair-style, where the hair was extremely straight? Turns out a lot of Asians have curly or wavy hair! How about the belief that Asians are shorter and slighter than Caucasians? But the Asian kids born here (and eating our diet) are mostly just as tall and just as fat! My husband is a Chinese immigrant (6 ft. tall and grew up in Asia), and there is NO yellow in his skin; he's lighter than I am and has pink undertones. My first husband was Mexican (I'm working my way around the world) and it was the same thing.

Whew, I guess I'm getting long-winded, but I take this to heart. I'm one of 8 kids from an Irish-American family, and 5 of us have married "outside of our race." We have Chinese, Japanese, Iranian, Isreali, Basque and Mexican in-laws. (And one of my brothers is engaged to an African-American.) So be nice to us, 'cause in 2 generations, we're taking over the world!

Off my soap box now!

[tigger4]

You are right. I wish everyone could just be who they are and not worry about skin color, but I don't think we will ever see that in our lifetime. Maybe in our children's though, I hope.

People will always assume things about other races. It is infuriating, but it is true.

I can remember when my dad met my husband for the first time. I had been estranged from my dad for 20 years. He had heard I was married to a black man, so he naturally assumed I had married one of those gold chain wearing, gun carrying, drug dealing, bangers. Imagine his surprise when I came over with my husband who is a heating and air conditioning tech, speaks proper English (no ebonics, etc), and is a down to earth good guy. I had to laugh at my dad even though I was disappointed in him for making such assinine assumptions.

[janelle]

Well as far as Chinese changing thier eyes and Jews getting nose jobs I think they should do whatever they want. Lots of white women are making their lips bigger and corn rolling their hair.

The Chinese say they want their eyes to look more round since the small eyes make them look sleepy and they are asked if they are tired. I get that myself and I am not Chinese. I would get an eye job if I was brave enough. Many white women get their noses worked on. I don't think they should do it unless they want it and not pressured by society but we are all influenced by our surroundings. If a Chinese person lived in China and never around other nationalities it wouldn't be a concern.

Mingling with other races does bring up differences we would never imagine if we stayed with our own culture. Just interrelating won't solve all problems. We will learn there are nice people in all cultures but we also know there are jerks in all cultures. But then we should already know that.

As far as whites calling each other nigga that is not equal to blacks doing it. If whites called each other honkey or whitey or cracker then it would be equal. I have never heard that nor think I ever will.

[YankeeMary]

Well as far as Chinese changing thier eyes and Jews getting nose jobs I think they should do whatever they want. Lots of white women are making their lips bigger and corn rolling their hair.

The Chinese say they want their eyes to look more round since the small eyes make them look sleepy and they are asked if they are tired. I get that myself and I am not Chinese. I would get an eye job if I was brave enough. Many white women get their noses worked on. I don't think they should do it unless they want it and not pressured by society but we are all influenced by our surroundings. If a Chinese person lived in China and never around other nationalities it wouldn't be a concern.

Mingling with other races does bring up differences we would never imagine if we stayed with our own culture. Just interrelating won't solve all problems. We will learn there are nice people in all cultures but we also know there are jerks in all cultures. But then we should already know that.

As far as whites calling each other nigga that is not equal to blacks doing it. If whites called each other honkey or whitey or cracker then it would be equal. I have never heard that nor think I ever will.

What's up Whitey??? LOL.

[JewRican]

So is it racist when I call my Mexican husband "beaner" and "wetback" while he calls me (Puerto Rican Jew) "spic" and "cracker"?

[tngirl]

TNGirl- The fact that you use the N word is on you. Does it make you racist? To alot of people yes it does. Sorry, but that is just the way I see it . I see black people do dumb things all the time, I don't call them the N word. I see Mexicans do dumb things all the time, I don't call them spics or wetbacks. I just don't use terms like that for people. I find it offensive. But, you are you and you make your own choices.

The only thing that I am prejudice about is ignorance. If I thought of every black person as being a n****r then yes, I would consider myself racist, but I don't feel that way. I look at each person for who they are, not the color of their skin or the country that they originate from. Where I come from, calling a white boy a SOB or a mo fo is the worst thing that you could call them.

If someone wants to consider me a racist, that is fine. But rather judgemental on their part because they don't know me and don't care to take the time to know me. I was having this discussion with my sister the other day. Several blacks have been rude or mean to me, but I don't hold it against the entire race and hold a grudge. Several whites have been rude or mean to a black person and they hold a grudge against ALL whites. Go figure.

[pepperpot]

Not going to plow through 9 pages....sorry if it's been said before :(

The 'n' word is just a word and I attribute it to the lower forms of that race, just as 'white trash', etc.... Do I personally use it? No, and I err on the side of trying not to use racial slurs....but occasionally it does happen and with regards to the lower forms of the race.

I don't get all warm, fuzzy and respectful feelings when I hear it used neither....even if it's for 'fun'....

I personally don't use it as 'cutesy' between Friends, although I'll say "girlfriend'....with 'that hip tone'.....*okay no one says 'hip' anymore*

BTW...I think I've dated the U.N. over the years.....:lol A really cute Irish/Japanese guy, a German/Ecuadorian, Italian, Irish/Finnish, British, Jewish (although that's not a nationality! :lol ).....I think there's more....:lol

[ilovecats]

Yes, that is it. I also think it is a horrible word. I don't care who says it. I cringe when I hear it come out of my son's mouth or my husband's mouth. I just don't like it.

The reason they get upset when a white person says it is because it is meant as an insult usually when a white person says it. For example, have you ever jokingly called your kid a brat? You know like come here brat and then give them a big old hug. BUT, if someone on the street called your kid a brat you'd be pissed, right? Do you see what I am saying?

ssgjeg- You are right. Sometimes they do use the N word as insult even among themselves. I don't know how many times I have been out with my step-MIL and we have seen some black person acting up and she will say Oh I hate when Niggers don't know how to act. So, it is used as an insult a lot.

TNGirl- The fact that you use the N word is on you. Does it make you racist? To alot of people yes it does. Sorry, but that is just the way I see it . I see black people do dumb things all the time, I don't call them the N word. I see Mexicans do dumb things all the time, I don't call them spics or wetbacks. I just don't use terms like that for people. I find it offensive. But, you are you and you make your own choices.
ssgjeg,your step-MIL is right.The definition of Nigger is "an ignorant person".
it does NOT refer to black people at all.At some point some idiot must have thought that all black people were ignorant,but the actual word can refer to anyone.

[janelle]

What's up Whitey??? LOL.

Oh gosh, I hope we never go there. I only use the "Hey girl" or "You go girl" but nothing else. When I was younger I would say sweetie or honey---as in Oh honey let me tell you---to my friends but I was a teen.

Someone said we should encourage intermarriage so some day we will all be mixed but knowing human nature that won't solve it. Then people will be prejudice about something else. What religion you are or what side of town you live in. People are already fighting about that issue right now anyway.

People need to learn respect in their home like my parents and hubby's parents taught. It does help to be exposed to different types of people from a young age but lots of people do not have that, like in rural areas. After I married we lived in mid-town and I was exposed to different cultures but my hubby was raised in LA and around different cultures at a young age. He was use to it but I was scared for a year or so until I got use to it.

Course, our neighbors were mostly Hispanic and most couldn't speak English so I couldn't visit with them.

[buglebe]

My best friend is black. I am white. I think at this time in history there is a lot of reverse discrimination going on. I also think there is a lot of discrimination going on too. There are also things that happen that people perceive as discrimination that is not discrimination. My friend told me that she could remember walking down the street and that white people would cross the street to keep from passing and having to speak to her on the sidewalk. I told her that when I was young I used to be extremely shy and that I would cross the street to keep from having to meet and talk to anyone and that is true.
One time at work I was in the back of the little kitchen when a black co worker walked in talking to another. She was so mad at our boss and called her that HONKY BITCH! She just stopped when she saw me and didn't know what to say because of course she could have gotten in big trouble for that.
I tried but I couldn't keep a straight face and I started laughing. Our boss was a HONKY BITCH! but my co worker had a minute there of now knowing what she should say or how I would react. I still grin when I think about it.

[tigger4]

ssgjeg,your step-MIL is right.The definition of Nigger is "an ignorant person".
it does NOT refer to black people at all.At some point some idiot must have thought that all black people were ignorant,but the actual word can refer to anyone.

That's my step-MIL that says that. And she is black.