This whole Mom thing has been fun, but I QUIT!

[ilikefree]

Gosh, I feel so fed up! Younger ds, who is 8, doesn't get his work done in school because he can't keep his mind on it. I took him to the doctor and he suggested the we work together with the school phychologist. I talked with him yesterday during ds parent-teacher conference. It was a student led conference, where ds goes through his data binder and tells me what all they've been working on. He understands the work and gets good grades, when he gets it done. He has to stay in at recess time to get his work done, but still doesn't get it finished. He had to miss the costume parade for the fall harvest parade they had in the gym last week. These things don't seem to bother him. The teachers and I have tried coming up with some kind of rewards program for him for when he does get it done. Didn't work. Since we had his conference yesterday and he was right there when we were talking about his work not getting done, I thought he'd do better today. We had a talk about it last night and he said he'd try and get it done. He comes out of school today and I asked him if he got his work done. No. What a big surprise. Sometimes all he has to do is copy stuff from the board and he still doesn't get it done :( I don't know what to do. But at least we have the school psychologist working with us.

Then, older ds, who is 14, came out of school today and got in the van and told me someone stole the lock off his locker. I asked him how they took it if he had his locker locked. Well, the brainiac leaves his lock unlocked during the day so he can get into his locker quicker. I told him that his lock is there for a reason, TO BE LOCKED!!! I told him that unless he gave the combination to someone, no one would have any use for it and to check in the office to see if someone turned it in. He said he went to the office but no one was in there at the time. SO WAIT!!

Like I said, being a mom has been fun these past 14+ years, but I'm done. I resign. Anyone want my job?

[heartlvrs]

uuuhh...HECK NO!!!:) sorry...already been there and done it:)

[chyna123]

I have 3 daughters and feel your pain... Sometimes I feel like just pulling my hair out.... I am soooooo Sick of hearing (MOM) that I refuse to answer to that anymore...lol now they just holler MOTHER! LOL I LOVE THEM but geeez they drive me insane at times........

[RNB16]

So sorry your having a rough day. I have 3 kids and I have some of the same struggles with my boys and their work at school. Good luck and hope it gets better!

[freeby4me]

My son is having the same problems. He's 7. We just started him on a behavior plan, first day didnt go so good. Being in the same boat, I have no suggestions, only to tell you that you're not alone!

[magenta]

Ugh, I feel like quitting today too. I was just telling my best friend today, my next go around at life I am going to join a convent. No kids, no men, no NOISE!

[cathych]

glad my kids are grown.

[tljohn123]

My cousin put her son on a low dosage of concerta---he has ADD and the meds help him concentrate and do much better at his school work. He has really done a major turn around. He is 11 and has been on this med for a few years.

Now our youngest is just like yours. He understands his work at school and gets good grades--very popular in school, well liked by all. But get him home, it's playtime no matter if he has homework or not. Usually we have to sit on him to get it done. I wish I knew what to tell you.

[Shann]

:hug I hope things get better for you soon.

[evrita]

I envy you

[kimp67]

Been in that exact spot. DS is now in 9th grade & still dealing with the same issues. Not as bad (knock-on-wood)but still comes us at times. All I can offer is ((((((hugs))))))) & like someone else said you aren't alone!

[honey79574]

You are not alone my son is 6 and in the first grade and is doing the same things your son is doing,we have tried talking to him,taking away things and still we get the same response,which is incomplete on all papers. I don't know what to do either.

[PrincessArky]

OMG yesterday must have been one of those days cause I felt the same way lol but at the end of the day I was just thankful to have 4 healthy kids........well the oldest one is sick at the moment but thankfully something that he will soon be over and life will be back to normal.........NOISEY lol

[myashley89]

I have 4 kids ranging from 5 to 13 and have defiantely had many days like that one!!! ((HUGS)) to you and hope you have many better days to come :)

[Mom2-3boys]

I'm with ya, I have a boy in middle school, one in 5th grade, and a preschooler and let me tell ya we have had issues with the older ones getting work done and in, esp. with my oldest, but his deal is more not turning it in because he can't find anything in his locker....a week ago we had conferences and I took him along and told him I wanted to see his locker :stunned I was amazed he could even get his backpack in that thing as much crap as he had in there. I told him "GET BUSY CLEANING! While I go talk to your teachers!" He looked at me and said "you're really going to make me clean my locker?" I said "Darn right get busy!" By the time I finished, he had found a janitor for a garbage bag and it was full of papers so hopefully he won't have as many lates.
I too have days that I get so tired of hearing MOM! and then DH comes home and it's honey this honey that.
AHHHHHHHHHHHH! CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!! I've gone and locked myself in my bedroom while my husband supervises the children, but they always come knocking at the door anyway "MOM!?"
What really gets me is when I am at the complete opposite side of the house as my children and they have to walk past my husband lounging on the couch to get to me, but they still do it so they can ask permission for something. I'm like "Did you not see your father in the living room?? Am I the only parent here?!"

[lameduch27]

My DD has been the same way since entering school. I feel your pain in that losing privelages has never phased her...she is now a junior in high school...and still does the same thing..just doesn't do the work...when she does...she gets good grades...so good news/bad news...he'll make it through school, but, his outlook on doing the work will probably not change.

{{{ilikefree}}}

[MsLynn]

my son was the same way at that age, they tried to tell me he was ADHD and all kinds of other things, lol, I KNEW he was just lazy...and now he's 12 and doing GREAT... hopefully yours too will grow out of it.. or you can find the true cause behind it.

[ilikefree]

What really gets me is when I am at the complete opposite side of the house as my children and they have to walk past my husband lounging on the couch to get to me, but they still do it so they can ask permission for something. I'm like "Did you not see your father in the living room?? Am I the only parent here?!"

EXACTLY!!!!!!!

[okie]

My son is 6 and in the 1st grade. Ever since he started school he has had a problem getting his work done. The thing that gets me is that he is smart. He just doesn't do the work. I have worked with the teachers and we have tried everything and nothing works. He has ADHD but the teacher he has this year said that is not the problem because he will sit there. I have tried everything from grounding, taking all his things away. I have even went as far as taking everything out of his room but his bed and dresser. His teachers take recess and the library away from him, putting him by himself. That hasn't worked either.

[ilikefree]

My son is 6 and in the 1st grade. Ever since he started school he has had a problem getting his work done. The thing that gets me is that he is smart. He just doesn't do the work. I have worked with the teachers and we have tried everything and nothing works. He has ADHD but the teacher he has this year said that is not the problem because he will sit there. I have tried everything from grounding, taking all his things away. I have even went as far as taking everything out of his room but his bed and dresser. His teachers take recess and the library away from him, putting him by himself. That hasn't worked either.

This is us exactly! He couldn't care less if you take stuff away. He hasn't been diagnosed with ADHD or anything, I've only taken him to the doctor the one time and we (the doctor too) are working with the school psychologist to see if this is what it is or what it really is. Hopefully they'll find out something soon. I'm getting too old for this!

[pepperpot]

I so feel like quitting too. I love my kids, I love my husband....but I am so tired of all the garbage and being the know-it-all, do-it-all doormat. I just don't really like my life right now...it is just taking so much out of me. I really feel like the life has been sucked out of me and they just keep coming back and picking at the carcass.......

Sorry....just a rough day.....it just feels like torture and then I'll go to bed feeling that I've done nothing for me, been taken for granted, unappreciated and exhausted, overwhelmed and drowning...my reward? I get to do it all again tomorrow....:(

Please tell me it gets better real soon.......

[MamaArc]

I think we all have these's days. I just keep thinking my ds is almost 18 and I won't have him around much longer so I just take it one day at a time. My dd is only 13 and she had the same problem with getting things done. I have always had a rule, you come home from school and do homework before you do anything else and there was days she would sit there and not do a thing, but now that she is older she seems to be out of that stage. Thank God. She is very smart just didn't like doing homework or finishing anything.

Hope things get better for you.

[Mom2Shaun]

LOL! Yes, I can relate! I had my son when I was 42, so I was quite thrilled to stay home and finally be a Mommy. But after 10 yrs. of it, I finally realized that the thrill of laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping and all the rest(!) is gone! And it's extra challenging because my son has mild autism and my husband is overseas. But then I remember what a God-given mission this is; to actually make a person! We shape the material we're given (yes, sometimes it's silk and sometimes it's a sow's ear!) into the best future adult we can! So then I try to view scrubbing the toilet as a sacred job, a holy trust! LOL!

One more thing, which helps me keep it in perspective; there quite a few kids in my son's autism program who are non-verbal (can't speak). Their mothers would just die of happiness if they could hear their child whining and calling out "Mommmmm!" So when my son just nags and pesters on and on, and I really want to scream, "shut up!" I try to remember that.

[evrita]

LOL! Yes, I can relate! I had my son when I was 42, so I was quite thrilled to stay home and finally be a Mommy. But after 10 yrs. of it, I finally realized that the thrill of laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping and all the rest(!) is gone! And it's extra challenging because my son has mild autism and my husband is overseas. But then I remember what a God-given mission this is; to actually make a person! We shape the material we're given (yes, sometimes it's silk and sometimes it's a sow's ear!) into the best future adult we can! So then I try to view scrubbing the toilet as a sacred job, a holy trust! LOL!

One more thing, which helps me keep it in perspective; there quite a few kids in my son's autism program who are non-verbal (can't speak). Their mothers would just die of happiness if they could hear their child whining and calling out "Mommmmm!" So when my son just nags and pesters on and on, and I really want to scream, "shut up!" I try to remember that.

I couldnt have said it better myself. We all have our days but you know my DD has many health issuses and I would kill for her to have normal days and a normal life. Hell I would do anything to have my 2 other kids running around the house making me grey and being teenagers. I dont get that chance so I envy all of you. Another 4 years and my DD will be 18 scary thought.

[ilovecats]

I thought this was appropriate.:)

Wet Oatmeal Kisses......

A young mother writes: "I know you've written before about the empty-nest syndrome -- that lonely period after the children are grown and gone. Right now, I'm up to my eyeballs in laundry and muddy boots. The baby is teething; the boys are fighting. My husband just called and said to eat without him, and I fell off my diet. Lay it on me again, will you.''

OK. One of these days you'll explode and shout to the kids, "Why don't you grow up and act your age?"
......and they will.

OR:

"You guys get outside and find yourselves something to do. And don't slam the door!"
......and they don't.

You'll straighten up the boys' bedroom neat and tidy -- bumper stickers discarded, bedspread tucked and smooth, toys displayed on the shelves. Hangers in the closet. Animals caged. And you'll say out loud, "Now I want it to stay this way.''
.......and it will.

You'll prepare a perfect dinner with a salad that hasn't been picked to death and a cake with no finger traces in the icing, and you'll say, "Now, there's a meal for company.''
.....and you'll eat it alone.

You'll say: "I want complete privacy on the phone. No dancing around. No demolition crews. Silence! Do your hear?''
.....and you'll have it.

No more plastic tablecloths stained with spaghtetti.

No more bedspreads to protect the sofa from damp bottoms.

No more gates to stumble over at the top of the basement steps.

No more clothespins under the sofa.

No more playpens to arrange a room around.

No more anxious nights under a vaporizer tent

No more sand on the sheets or Popeye movies in the bathrooms.

No more iron-on-patches, wet, knotted shoestrings, tight boots, or rubber bands for ponytails.

Imagine. A lipstick with a point on it.

No baby sitter for New Year's Eve.

Washing only once a week.

Seeing a steak that isn't ground.

Having your teeth cleaned without a baby on your lap.

No PTA meetings.

No car pools.

No blaring radios.

No one washing her hair at 11 o'clock at night.

Having your own roll of Scotch tape.

No more dandelion bouquets.

Think about it. No more Christmas presents out of toothpicks and library paste.

No more sloppy oatmeal kisses.

No more tooth fairy.

No giggles in the dark.

No knees to heal, no responsibility.

Only a voice crying, "Why don't you grow up?'' and the silence echoing,
"I did."

by Erma Bombeck

[buglebe]

The wonderful thing is they grow up and if they are lucky they get to do what you are doing all over again. I have one lucky daughter who has 2 children and another unlucky daughter who has none and a son and daughter in law who are breaking my heart with their dashed hopes every month. But for me, I have beautiful grown children who bring me lots of wonderful moments and we sit back and reminience about these crazy days. We had to drag our pot smoking son to high school everyday the last year of highschool. He shows us how much he appreciates us and what we have done for him every day of his life. The girls do too. You will all sit back one day with all your children and do the same things.

[cabby92]

I have even went as far as taking everything out of his room but his bed and dresser.

My SS was like that, and we tried the same things. It got to where I could tell when he'd had a bad day or gotten in trouble. He'd come home and start piling everything outside his door. It was hard not to let him see me laughing. He finally figured out it was easier to just do the work, but he had to do it in his own time.

He's 21 now and serving in Iraq. The Army thinks he's wonderful, he's advanced by leaps and bounds. I'd give anything to have him home to irritate me.

[ilovecats]

My SS was like that, and we tried the same things. It got to where I could tell when he'd had a bad day or gotten in trouble. He'd come home and start piling everything outside his door. It was hard not to let him see me laughing. He finally figured out it was easier to just do the work, but he had to do it in his own time.

He's 21 now and serving in Iraq. The Army thinks he's wonderful, he's advanced by leaps and bounds. I'd give anything to have him home to irritate me.

Exactly!My son has been annoying me for 19 yrs.Finally he is gone,my house is much quieter(not silent,I still have 3 other kids)Now all the little things he did to annoy me just remind me of how much I miss him.