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View Full Version : I feel bad for my husband



G'maDebbie
10-26-2007, 10:01 AM
I really need to VENT!!



My husband may not be perfect, but I will tell you that he has a heart of gold. He does things for people out of the kindness of his heart, and more times than not, they don't even have to ask him, he just does it and very rarely ever gets paid (which doesn't bother him in the least).
Last month my husband started with a sore/stiff neck. He figured he slept on it wrong and it would go away, well, within the next couple of days he ended up in the emergency room not able to move his head at all. After many long hours and many tests, it was discovered that he has spinal stenosis, which is narrowing of the spine. It is very painful and can be very dangerous if it causes pressure on the spinal cord.
Do you think for one minute that all the people he has helped out would even call to find out if he is ok, or to see if there is anything he might need? He has been out of work for a month now, and he is always telling me how he is putting money in these boxes they are always passing around for one reason or another at work for someone who is ill or hurt...etc.....do you think they are passing one around for him? Hell NO!
Although it would be nice to have some help, as we are struggling to pay our bills at the time, it's really not even about that. It's about the fact that my husband more times than not puts other people before himself without blinking an eye. I have gotten upset with him at times cause he forgets that he has responsibilities at home as well. If he knows someone has a project going on, he is there!
I feel really bad for him, although he hasn't said anything, I can tell that his feelings are hurt. It isn't easy for him to have to sit at home and do nothing either, he is ALWAYS busy doing one thing or another. You would think maybe just one person would come over and just sit and talk with him for awhile.
Thanks for letting me vent. :confused:

freeby4me
10-26-2007, 10:05 AM
(((HUGS))) Hope he feels better real soon!

freeplease
10-26-2007, 10:06 AM
That's awful. I'm so sorry your husband is not well.

Do they know what's going on at work? Maybe his boss hasn't let the word out. Maybe a well placed call to one of his friends at work would be a good idea. Of course, when they decide they need help with something, and want your DH's help, they just might call.

BeanieLuvR
10-26-2007, 10:09 AM
Poor guy. I tell you things like this really show who your true friends are. I can see why his feelings are hurt. :( I hope that he feels better soon.

DBackFan
10-26-2007, 10:17 AM
That's awful. I'm so sorry your husband is not well.

Do they know what's going on at work? Maybe his boss hasn't let the word out. Maybe a well placed call to one of his friends at work would be a good idea. Of course, when they decide they need help with something, and want your DH's help, they just might call.

Thats what I would do too. Call one of his closer friends at work and drop the hint. You sure shouldn't HAVE to but hey, you could use the help and if he doesn't know you call then it will make him feel better too.

ahippiechic
10-26-2007, 10:21 AM
I'm sorry his isn't feeling well and his feelings are hurt.

Sometimes people are soo clueless when it comes to someone other than themselves.

gmyers
10-26-2007, 12:25 PM
I hope your husband feels better soon. I don't blame you or him for being upset. I've found out you find out who your friends really are when you need help. It seems like they all avoid you then. It makes me mad when people are so thoughtless to someone thats got a good heart. Your husband sounds like a really good guy, a keeper. I would do what the other person said, let his friends know whats happening. Maybe they will step up and show him that they appreciate all he's done for them. I'll keep your husband in my prayers that what he's got will get better.

Shann
10-26-2007, 02:37 PM
I'm sorry to hear about your hubby {{{{hugs}}}} I agree w/ the others, call up his work and talk to a close friend.

It's so sad to hear this is happening, that would make me not want to help anyone out again if that is the way they act, I hope he feels better soon.

blmonk40
10-26-2007, 02:40 PM
I to hope that your husband gets better. We just found out that my husband is sick with HepC (which he got when he was in the Army from the shot guns they used) he also has Hemochromatosis(too much iron in his blood). he can't work, the treatments will be 2yrs. We are too having a hard time too. we will keep your husband in our prayers.

Army-Mom
10-26-2007, 04:27 PM
That is so sad. Maybe if you take a get well card to work for them to sign. I am praying for him. sending hugs also..

tracyb
10-26-2007, 04:56 PM
Really sorry that your dh has been thru alot and hopefully they find some compassion to check on him...Many Prayers for him to be healed

squirt661
10-26-2007, 04:59 PM
SS for both of you posters. I have nothing else to add but I will keep both of your husbands in my prayers also, and good luck to both of you, as I can think it is not a very easy going time for either of you.

freeplease
10-26-2007, 05:04 PM
Plus, since we're dealing with men, they don't always "get it" when they should. You know, they tend to glaze over the finer parts of life. They probably don't even realize they're being asses. It's just men. Seriously, when was the last time you caught a man being nurturing and supportive, without a gun to their head? lol

hblueeyes
10-26-2007, 08:40 PM
I know all too well how you feel as we have been in that situation many,many, times. Hubby has 2 types of cancer along with other problems but he looks healthy. He never bats an eye when helping others. It drives me nuts but I also know how good it makes him feel for helping and always doing the right thing, so I have learned to keep quiet. We rarely ask for help but when we have, no one came through.

I will pray for your hubby and you. Hope he gets better quickly.

Me