When reqested to, do you respond to RSVP's?

[Tashagirl]

I'm asking this because after having a problem with this myself I have spoken to several friends who also indicate that when they send out invitations few if any of their guests respond even when the invitation is clearly marked RSVP.The past few years it has gotten worse when it comes to my sons birthday party.Alot of people either dont respond or call to say they are coming but do not show up anyway:hmmmm: .not only is it very difficult to plan food etc for a party not having an accurate count of people, its also very disappointing for my son who invites a bunch of friends and looks forward to having them there only to have many not show.I'm just confused as to why people fail to call when asked to RSVP.So I'm just asking~when you receive an invitation that requests that you RSVP do you respond right away? Do you respond at all? If not why dont you? and has anyone else had this problem when planning a party.
A friend planned a party for her child~invited like 15 kids,only 4 replied and only 2 showed up..its just strange to me.I'm now awaiting RSVP'S for my sons birthday this year and really hope for a better response then last year.I.myself think its rude not to respond:thumpdown: ..how do you feel?

[Heidi]

When it comes to like birthday parties or holiday gatherings, no I never RSVP. The only time I RSVP is for weddings when they send the card that is supposed be be mailed back to them.

[MistyWolf]

I RSVP only if I am coming .. If I don't RSVP that means I am not coming .. lol.

If I'm having a party and you don't RSVP, than I am not expecting you.

[Tashagirl]

I RSVP only if I am coming .. If I don't RSVP that means I am not coming .. lol.

If I'm having a party and you don't RSVP, than I am not expecting you.

Funny that you should say that because one of my friends actually put on her sons birthday invite..RSVP ...regrets only.Maybe thats another way to go~specify RVSP only if attending..or only if not attending~whichever way is best.So many people dont seem to respond at all ..no matter what its weird though

[Jackie_Blu]

I do Rsvp, when it is asked for. I feel there is a reason they request it...if they thought enough of me to invite me, then the least I can do is RSVP. I have been on the other end of this...a very nice dinner party of which I requested rsvp. I included stamped cards for convenience. I would say nearly half did not respond (but showed up anyway) and a few mailed back the card saying they were bringing extra friends and family (not asked, just stated). It just seems to me that our society majors in rudeness anymore, not sure if its sheer ignorance when it comes to proper etiquette and protocol or if ppl just dont care. I think its very sad. BTW, I also send TY notes...not just for gifts but acts of kindness,etc.

[buttrfli]

I think its rude NOT to RSVP when you plan on attending. Anyone with half a brain would know that there is a reason why the party-giver needs to know.

Last time I did a function where I needed an RSVP I put on the invitation that if a person did not RSVP, it would be assumed that they would not attend.

[ahippiechic]

I always try to. I have forgotten a few times tho. I just think it's courtious to let them if you plan on attending or not.

[Qtxann315]

The only RSVP I do is, I call when I'm coming and I don't call when I don't come. When I make a big party and ask for a RSVP on the invitation and people haven't called in 2 days, I usually give them a call and ask. This is a little more work but at least I won't have left overs.

[cathych]

Everyone SHOULD know what RSVP stands for. IT MEANS TO RESPOND!!!! Whether you plan on attending or not, it is only good manners to let your host/hostess know so they can plan. I always respond, & it really ticks me off when I send out an invitation that clearly says rsvp on it, & hardly anybody responds. :nono

[BeanieLuvR]

I too feel it is very rude not to respond. It only takes a few minutes. It is to the point if I am having a party or function I make enough food for everyone I invite then if people don't show I send the leftovers home with people.

Tashagirl, I hope that your son has a good turnout for his party and has a wonderful day! :)

[Lasher]

I always respond, I mean if they didn't care they wouldn't have put it on there.

[Tashagirl]

Everyone SHOULD know what RSVP stands for. IT MEANS TO RESPOND!!!! Whether you plan on attending or not, it is only good manners to let your host/hostess know so they can plan. I always respond, & it really ticks me off when I send out an invitation that clearly says rsvp on it, & hardly anybody responds. :nono

Thats how I feel~I'm just so suprised at how many people do not respond to invitations that actually request a RSVP~I've always responded (whether I'm going or not)when asked to RSVP...I would feel rude if I didnt.Thats just my opinion.Hope everyone has a great day!

**Thank you so much BeanieLuvR***

[Urban Cowgirl]

Funny you brought this up. My sis and I were just discussing this. We have a huge problem with this around here. I was just telling her that we just plan a huge summer bash and plan on order subs or something to eat. Then we will just order for the ones that RSVP that they are coming. In our families there would be a lot of unhappy people. They all tend to either show up or not and not let you know either way. I think it would be a riot though.

[magickay]

[Climbing on soapbox]

This is one of my pet peeves. "Répondez s'il-vous-plaît" is French phrase that translates to "Please respond" -- meaning whether or not you plan to attend. If someone is asking, it means that bit of data will be used to help them plan the event accordingly. Will there be enough food? Do the tables need to be set up for 8-tops or 10-tops, or will more chairs/tables have to be rented? Are there enough party favors? You get the idea.

Some people go by "Response Shall Verify Presence", an English substitute for the meaning of "R.S.V.P." and think it's okay NOT to respond if they are not attending. Mmm...no. You should still respond. It's just good manners.

"Of course, they'll know I'm coming..." Again, no. Not unless you are the guest of honor, part of the catering/set-up crew, etc. Never assume that you are so important/close to that person that you don't have to respond.

[climbing down from soapbox] Thanks for letting me vent. And as you can tell, yes, I always RSVP.

[Jolie Rouge]

[Climbing on soapbox]

This is one of my pet peeves. "Répondez s'il-vous-plaît" is French phrase that translates to "Please respond" -- meaning whether or not you plan to attend. If someone is asking, it means that bit of data will be used to help them plan the event accordingly. Will there be enough food? Do the tables need to be set up for 8-tops or 10-tops, or will more chairs/tables have to be rented? Are there enough party favors? You get the idea.

Some people go by "Response Shall Verify Presence", an English substitute for the meaning of "R.S.V.P." and think it's okay NOT to respond if they are not attending. Mmm...no. You should still respond. It's just good manners.

"Of course, they'll know I'm coming..." Again, no. Not unless you are the guest of honor, part of the catering/set-up crew, etc. Never assume that you are so important/close to that person that you don't have to respond.

[climbing down from soapbox] Thanks for letting me vent. And as you can tell, yes, I always RSVP.


I would also like to add that if you are having a childs party at a paid venue - bowling, skating, lazer tag ect - they charge you for the number of people you state will be there. I were invited to play lazer tag once because my brother invited his son's scout troop and paid for 12 kids - three showed. So he had to PAY for all the no shows .. so he started just calling to see who might have a few hours to kill.

[PJDancer]

[Climbing on soapbox]

This is one of my pet peeves. "Répondez s'il-vous-plaît" is French phrase that translates to "Please respond" -- meaning whether or not you plan to attend. If someone is asking, it means that bit of data will be used to help them plan the event accordingly. Will there be enough food? Do the tables need to be set up for 8-tops or 10-tops, or will more chairs/tables have to be rented? Are there enough party favors? You get the idea.

Some people go by "Response Shall Verify Presence", an English substitute for the meaning of "R.S.V.P." and think it's okay NOT to respond if they are not attending. Mmm...no. You should still respond. It's just good manners.

"Of course, they'll know I'm coming..." Again, no. Not unless you are the guest of honor, part of the catering/set-up crew, etc. Never assume that you are so important/close to that person that you don't have to respond.

[climbing down from soapbox] Thanks for letting me vent. And as you can tell, yes, I always RSVP.

ITA. Anyone who does not respond (whether they are coming or not) to an invite that has an RSVP is totally rude and disrespectful IMO. If the person hosting took the time to invite you, you can take 2 minutes to put an rsvp card in the mail, make a phone call, or send an email.

[kyswpgrl]

We had this discussion recently on MWT as well. I always put RSVP on invitations but few ever do. I try to go ahead and plan for the full amount and usually have some leftover party favors, but I'll just hand those out to siblings that wind up showing up. I guess it's never really bothered me because I don't go "all out" on birthday parties and I also don't go to places that charge by the head. The only time that has happened was with bowling, but you only pay for those that actually show up.

As for responding, I have to admit I'm not very good at it. Sometimes I don't know for several days because the kids are *usually* at their dad's on the weekends. That makes it up to him whether or not they go, although I will still buy the gift. If they don't go, I just don't respond at all. If they do go, I try to call and RSVP as soon as I know or else ask my ex to do so. I would never just show up unless it was family.

[MistyWolf]

Well than I guess I am rude because if I'm not coming, I'm not responding. And same goes if I sent you an invite and you don't RSVP, I am assuming your not coming. And, if you show up, than all the merrier.

[Shann]

Yes I do respond when I get something like that. I really haven't had too much trouble w/ this as I don't have kids or have not gotten married, but I think if I continually kept getting screwed over by people showing up not letting me know, I would make gift bags for those who RSVP'd and hand them out personally at the next party. Then when the ones who didn't get gift bags wondered why I would let them know they didn't RSVP and I didn't make extras. Yes... I can be snobby at times ;)

Wanted to add, if it was a child's birthday party, I would also make a round of calls to the parents a few days before just to see if they forgot to send in their RSVP or for some reason didn't get the invite. :)

[okie]

I always try and respond but sometimes I forget to. My son comes home with alot of invites for birthday parties from school. Those are usually the ones I forget about lol. When I got married no one replied and said if they were coming or not. I ended up having to call everyone to see and they were all family.

[Eyore]

I usually respond to them. I probably have forgotten to once or twice already but I really try to remember to rsvp.

[Barcode]

Respond. These are people I happen to know or somehow connected to one of my family members. I think it's rather rude not to.

[YankeeMary]

I always respond, regardles of me coming or not. I normally just call to let them know. Not only does it save a stamp, it keeps me from forgetting to get it in the mail. If I send out invitations and don't get a RSVP, its ok, until the next get together, then you don't get an invite.

[justme23]

I try to always respond. However, there are times when I purposely refuse... for instance, when I get an invitation to a wedding shower from a long lost relative that I only see once every 5 years that sent an invitation to EVERYONE on the family reunion mailing list to gather gifts. Now THAT I find rude and so no, I didn't respond.

[kimp67]

I RSVP only if I am coming .. If I don't RSVP that means I am not coming .. lol.

If I'm having a party and you don't RSVP, than I am not expecting you.

That's normally what I do if it's informal. If it's something more formal, wedding,etc...then I rsvp either way.

[freeplease]

I always respond. I've taught my girls to always respond. And while we're at it, thank you cards are also in our bag of tricks. I'm so sick of sending nice gifts and checks to people for weddings and births, and never knowing if they got it until my check clears. Please note, if you don't say thank you, it's the last gift you'll get from me. Polite gets my attention.

[andreame70]

I really try my best to respond either way. I know how important it is to get a good head count on those who will attend. It is a waste of money to prepare for so many, only to find out that a few are ultimately coming.

It is also awkward when people who should have RSVP'd don't, but they show up anyway. It really angers me when not only do they not RSVP, but they bring other people too! Now that is just downright presumptuous and rude.

[deb_gar]

I would say that 90% of the invites I receive are "regrets only". So, if l'm going, I don't respond.
I recently had a baby shower, invited over 35 people. Had to rent a place with so many people, cause only 3 called to say they weren't coming. Well, only 6 showed up.

[PrincessArky]

I always respond, I mean if they didn't care they wouldn't have put it on there.

ITA

[Kelsey1224]

ALWAYS!!! it is rude and thoughtless not to do so. there is a reason that a response is requested and it is inconsiderate to ignore the request. i am amazed at the number of people who don't respond.

what happened to basic good manners????

[magickay]

I always respond. I've taught my girls to always respond. And while we're at it, thank you cards are also in our bag of tricks. I'm so sick of sending nice gifts and checks to people for weddings and births, and never knowing if they got it until my check clears. Please note, if you don't say thank you, it's the last gift you'll get from me. Polite gets my attention.


Thank you for the thank-you cards message! Is it a generational thing? I was taught that it was the right thing to do/good manners to acknowledge each gift.

[ladybugva]

I had a similar prob. so i am there with you. I invited 30 kids to my DS bday party (knowing not all would attend) and by RSVP put my e-mail and ph. #. Sent a follow up e-mail to those I had e-mail for and still got NO responses from his whole school class and only about 3 others told me they were coming. We had a few I didn't know about coming. But it was agrivating trying to figure out if I needed pizza for the 5 of us or for 30+ and their parents.

I felt really bad b/c I RSVPed day before for a party where they kid could only invite 2. But in that case DS didn't give me the invite from Fri until Mon.Like me as a kid, loosing stuff in that back pack. LOL

Hope your son has a fun party.