andreame70
04-19-2007, 05:56 AM
I am pretty upset about something and I feel like I am entitled to be, but at the same time, I am torn about how to handle it. What would you do?
Scenario: Easter week, we traveled almost 1200 miles to see my DH's family up in Illinois. We really hoped that this time the visit would be more pleasant than the prior three times we have gone, but this time it ended up being even worse.
We arrive Wed night and stayed with my DH's older Brother, DH gets terribly sick on Thurs, he is sick for three days.
Friday, I happened to notice that the rental car we had from Avis had been rented to us with an expired tag. I called them because I was afraid of getting cited for it and they have the audacity to tell me to drive it 120 miles back to the airport and trade it in for another. I refused and told them to bring me another one or better yet, just send someone with a sticker to update it. They hired some guy out of Chicago to drive a rollback all the way to us, drop off the new car and pick up the other.
Saturday evening BIL that we are staying with comes in trashed (drunk) around 1-1:30 am and starts laying in on his girlfriend, cussing, screaming and having a fit. He woke her up to do this, she had been asleep for over two hours prior to him coming home. My DH tells his brother to cool it. The two of them have words and the drunk BIL kicks us out of his house at about 2am Easter morning. The only good thing about this is that our son was staying the night over at my younger BIL's house so that he could play with all of our nieces and nephews. I am very thankful for that because at least he was not exposed to the madness.
We call the younger BIL to let him know what is going on and we figured we would just go to a hotel, but he insisted that we come to his place and stay instead, so we did.
Easter day went pretty well, except for the occasional rantings we had to listen to that came from my alcoholic Mother in law. We managed to enjoy the day with the kids in spite of her and my drunk BIL didn't even bother to show up for Easter dinner.
Monday, we visit the cemetery where my Father in law was buried in March of 2000. We couldn't find his plot so we stopped and asked where it was. The caretaker showed us and we were surprised to find out that the grave was not marked. No headstone or footstone, nothing. I remarked that my FIL was a highly decorated Vietnam Veteran (along with his medals, this man actually had four purple hearts!) I told the caretaker that I would contact the VA about a footstone myself since no one else in the family had bothered to. We were immediately told that no markers of any kind could go down on his grave because the plot was never paid for! In seven years, no one up there seemed to care enough to pay the $300 for the plot, not even one penny of it had been paid! She said that the cemetery was in the middle of trying to get a judgment against my MIL for the money. I couldn't let this go on, so I paid for the plot. No one else may have cared, but we do, so we took care of it.
The next afternoon, we left and needless to say, we were glad to finally be at home.
We have heard nothing from the BIL that threw us out and my DH is getting more angry at him by the day. They have always been really close up until this and I don't know if I should let it alone to see if he comes around to apologize, or if I should call him and try to assist in piecing back their relationship. My DH is still angry at his brother and I do not blame him. Hell, I am angry at him too, but I am willing to try and get past it for the sake of the family. They don't need to go on forever with this bridge between them. My DH says we didn't do anything wrong (which I know we didn't) so he is waiting to see if his brother takes it upon himself to call and work it out.
What would you guys do? Part of me wants to call the brother and tell him to get bent, part of me wants to call him and try to get the ball rolling on working it out between them and part of me just wants to say good riddance and completely leave it alone. HELP!
Andrea
Scenario: Easter week, we traveled almost 1200 miles to see my DH's family up in Illinois. We really hoped that this time the visit would be more pleasant than the prior three times we have gone, but this time it ended up being even worse.
We arrive Wed night and stayed with my DH's older Brother, DH gets terribly sick on Thurs, he is sick for three days.
Friday, I happened to notice that the rental car we had from Avis had been rented to us with an expired tag. I called them because I was afraid of getting cited for it and they have the audacity to tell me to drive it 120 miles back to the airport and trade it in for another. I refused and told them to bring me another one or better yet, just send someone with a sticker to update it. They hired some guy out of Chicago to drive a rollback all the way to us, drop off the new car and pick up the other.
Saturday evening BIL that we are staying with comes in trashed (drunk) around 1-1:30 am and starts laying in on his girlfriend, cussing, screaming and having a fit. He woke her up to do this, she had been asleep for over two hours prior to him coming home. My DH tells his brother to cool it. The two of them have words and the drunk BIL kicks us out of his house at about 2am Easter morning. The only good thing about this is that our son was staying the night over at my younger BIL's house so that he could play with all of our nieces and nephews. I am very thankful for that because at least he was not exposed to the madness.
We call the younger BIL to let him know what is going on and we figured we would just go to a hotel, but he insisted that we come to his place and stay instead, so we did.
Easter day went pretty well, except for the occasional rantings we had to listen to that came from my alcoholic Mother in law. We managed to enjoy the day with the kids in spite of her and my drunk BIL didn't even bother to show up for Easter dinner.
Monday, we visit the cemetery where my Father in law was buried in March of 2000. We couldn't find his plot so we stopped and asked where it was. The caretaker showed us and we were surprised to find out that the grave was not marked. No headstone or footstone, nothing. I remarked that my FIL was a highly decorated Vietnam Veteran (along with his medals, this man actually had four purple hearts!) I told the caretaker that I would contact the VA about a footstone myself since no one else in the family had bothered to. We were immediately told that no markers of any kind could go down on his grave because the plot was never paid for! In seven years, no one up there seemed to care enough to pay the $300 for the plot, not even one penny of it had been paid! She said that the cemetery was in the middle of trying to get a judgment against my MIL for the money. I couldn't let this go on, so I paid for the plot. No one else may have cared, but we do, so we took care of it.
The next afternoon, we left and needless to say, we were glad to finally be at home.
We have heard nothing from the BIL that threw us out and my DH is getting more angry at him by the day. They have always been really close up until this and I don't know if I should let it alone to see if he comes around to apologize, or if I should call him and try to assist in piecing back their relationship. My DH is still angry at his brother and I do not blame him. Hell, I am angry at him too, but I am willing to try and get past it for the sake of the family. They don't need to go on forever with this bridge between them. My DH says we didn't do anything wrong (which I know we didn't) so he is waiting to see if his brother takes it upon himself to call and work it out.
What would you guys do? Part of me wants to call the brother and tell him to get bent, part of me wants to call him and try to get the ball rolling on working it out between them and part of me just wants to say good riddance and completely leave it alone. HELP!
Andrea