What do you do about a dear friend....

[vieprivee]

who had partial knee replacement on BOTH knees(six weeks ago) and refuses to do the exercises Physical Therapy has mapped out her her? She goes to PT three times a week but must do a certain regimen of exercises the other four days. Her progress is really not all that good and I bet it is because she is just not exercising as she should. I am worried about her, have tried talking to her a number of times but she just won't listen to me, her therapist, or her doctor! She is not in pain, is a bit depressed because her mobility is limited and she is unable to go to work, but otherwise doing okay. ANY SUGGESTIONS?

THANKS!

[firechic]

I would tell her the ball is in her court. It's up to her to help herself. The doctor's have done their part.

[funburger]

when you are injured especially for any length of time depression sets in because you are limited in what you can do, you get tired of doing the excercises and just want someone to do it for you---trust me i have spinal stenosis and went through this myself. anyhow try to get her to goto a psychiatrist to get on some antidepressants, that will help her a great deal also try to get her involved in a hobby that doesnt involve activity with her knees, because if she is happy her progress will go up. and heal faster. i hope this helps, i just know when you are happy you are more apt to do what you need to do to get better. hope this helps if you need any more info please feel free to pm me as i went through this. God BLess!!! also there is nothing you could say or do just try to get her involved with an activity without forcing it on her and try to talk to her about seeing someone even if she doesnt think she is depressed!!!!my doc.sent me to a specialist he said i was fine and talked with me no meds but thats when i started playing the piano and i have found heaven!!! if you are in az somewhere i can give her my old piano:)

[firechic]

Yup, that is why my depression kicked in. I had to quit work because I injured my shoulder. I needed surgery, PT, the whole nine yards. And that is when the depression showed up. I do see a doc, and I do take meds. That's why I said, the ball is in her court. She has to help herself help herself. No one else can do it.

[vieprivee]

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for your words of wisdom, firechic and funburger! My friend has spinal stenosis too and went back on Celebrex without her doc's okay even though she had no pain or problems. THIS adds another problem.....sigh..anyway, she is going to call her place of work about seeing a therapist(part of her health benefits) and I do hope this helps. We've talked about anti-depression meds but she is very much against them so I hope the therapy helps!

PS
She has a piano and plays beautifully! Maybe I should suggest she spend time doing this too!!

[MusicfanAnnie]

Is she taking her pain meds??? Patients do better with pain meds...it's very painful otherwise. I hope your friend will soon start to exercise and get with it. If she does not keep trying to bend her knees and keep moving,,she will have problems with bending her knees and with her walking after she heals.
Have to keep her moving.

[funburger]

geeze, she has spinal stenosis and knee problems--thats alot for one to deal with. in case anyone wants to know spinal stenosis gets worse with more excercise like for me i cant walk that far otherwise i cant walk at all so i bike, because leaning forward opens the spinal canal and pushes more oxygen to my spinal cord and nerves and actually makes me feel better, if i miss a day of biking i have a hard time and have to take my pain meds. but with her knee problems i dont know if they would want her to bike??? my lord i can see why she is depressed. she will be in my prayers, and i really hope she gets back on that piano as when i got mine thats when i got sooooo much better:) your mental state affects your physical well being. she definitly needs to talk to someone though, as that is alot to deal with. she will be in my prayers as you will to. let me know how everything works out, praying she gets better. God BLess!!!!

[TxGreek]

Her physical therapist should be able to tell if she's skipping out on her home exercises. I had a knee injury and skipped 3 days of home therapy and my therapist could tell as soon as I started doing my therapy in the office. lol

If she's going to a good physical therapist, they should notice AND they shouldn't release her until she meets their end goals. If she doesn't meet the goals, they'll either keep her in longer or send her back to the Dr.
They'll keep up with her and make sure she's progressing. :)

[hblueeyes]

2 of my sons have had knee surgery. My oldest had to have his ACL/MCL (?) removed and will be getting one transplanted. They were back to their old activities,football, track and field etc., in about 6 weeks because of the physical therapy exercises they did at home. 2 diffent physical therapists told me about each one on how they were amazed at their progress. We saved money too because we did not have to continue going to the physical therapist. A good physical therapist should be able to tell if she is doing her part. They should also be able to come up with a regimen that is suited to her and her special needs. If they cannot then she needs to see someone else.

me :p

[hotwheelstx]

I too, have Spinal Stenosis. Yes, I did all the recovery time, p/t, whirlpools you could think of. It did help some but not much.

Yes, it's a pain to go, get dressed, fight traffic, sit and wait for your turn. The end result is what you're looking for. That's to make you feel better, be better.

Yes, depression sets in since you can't do what you did before wheelchair/no wheelchair (in my case). If it wasn't for the surgery, pt I would still be laying in bed hurting worse than I do some days. That to me isn't a life.

It helped me a lot when a friend (very close for years) went with me to p.t. She hadn't been thru the surgery or injury but when sessions were over I had someone there to vent to....either how much better I felt or if I felt worse some days.

However, you can't make someone go if they don't want to. Her condition will only worsen with time....not using those muscles.

Also, in my case, it was great....I saw someone that understood what a pain in the butt it was to go, do the exercises, go back again.

Maybe a truly good friend to listen to her is all she needs. It's truly hard when you've been a certain way and all of a sudden you're another.

Hope everything works out in the end. Good luck to you both :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[dlwt]

Tell her she will be crippled for the rest of her life if she doesnt get on the ball NOW. Its true to. Maybe try doing the exercises with her if you can (I dont know but it sounds right ). Good luck~~

[vieprivee]

THANK YOU ALL for your pearls of wisdom. I am working on getting her to exercise and I DO THINK a therapist will help; she will be going tomorrow. As many of you have said, it is ALL up to her! All friends can be is supportive and encouraging...and I am trying!

THANKS AGAIN!!! :)

[abbynme]

I admire you for your friendship and support. Keep it up. You may be the link to her recovery. Don't give up...she needs your help!

[hotwheelstx]

Thru all the pain, aggravation, irritation....not to mention the hassles of going to pt it's truly comforting to know that someone is/will be supporting you thru your good times, bad times and I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE!!!!

You're truly a friend to this person. She may not realize it now but, will in the end. It's rough I know but the outcome is much better than if she does nothing.

Hang in there....you're in for a long haul. It's well worth it in the end for the final result.

[vieprivee]

Thanks for your kind words, hotwheelstx and abbynme! I don't think there is anything as wonderful as a good friend and Shannon and I have known each other almost all our lives. We are closer than family and I care deeply for her. SO, as most of us know, we do our best for the people we love and that is what I am trying my darndest to do here. The words you have posted here HELP ME and encourage me to continue to push Shannon. I KNOW I have to but it is NOT easy! THANKS AGAIN!!! :)

[Coke_Lover]

I dont know if this will help. I barrowed a wheel chair from my church, and I would take my mom on walks thru the park and sometime have a pic-nic. At first she would walk, and lean on the wheel chair. Then sit in it as I pushed her, we started doing this in the malls and other places so that she could at least get out. We also started talking more. About life opnions, bring up something that will be food for thought. Buy her a book that you are reading or lend her one and discuss it. I also bought a wedged cushion for the chair so it would raise her knees a little higher and be more comfortable.
After we started doing this my Mom got better and improved because I was helping her with her @home excersie.
Hope this helps my thoughts and blessings are with you